Leah

Leah

1. Keep reminding her that Sam picked Emily.

2. Ask her about the details of Sam and Emily's wedding.

3. Remind her that she doesn't have a major role in any of the books.

4. Tell her that vampires rule.

5. Remind her that she probably will never get married.

6. Call her "Lee Lee".

7. Get "Barbie Girl" stuck in Jacob's head that way she has to listen to it in wolf form.

8. When she starts throwing a fit say "Bad Dog!".

9. Ask her what it feels like to be a freak of nature.

10. When she gets wet tell her that she smells like wet dog.

11. Tell her that she should have died in Breaking Dawn.

12. Tell her that Jacob imprinted on her.

13. Video tape her reaction to number 12.

14. Tell her that Emily is pregnant.

15. Show her this list.