I. AM. SORRY.

I know I said I would be back in five days. Fellahs, Life hit me hard. I didn't get better, I got worse. The mourning period was difficult. Grandmother fell and sprained her ankle. My internet left.

And those are just a few of the things that happened.

But, main point is: I'm back. I probably will NOT be able to continue the 'prompt a day' thing I had going on before. My internet is still very spotty, deciding to come back at the most random moments and disappearing entirely when I really need it. I'm only barely able to send this out. Just today, before when I tried to publish this, it completely poofed.

I'll do my best to get as much material out there as I possibly can. I can't promise anything more except for this: I WILL finish the March Madness prompts, and they WILL be uploaded onto this 'story'. No matter what happens or how long it takes, this I know for sure.


Rated: T

WARNING: Suggestive language, suggestive actions. Second person point of view done wrong. Jokes done wrong. Ridiculous humor (some of you called me out on too much sad-stuff in my stories, and I decided that you were very much right. I myself was getting tired of writing frowns. So here ya go! Some hilarious nonsense to hopefully brighten up your day!) Sarcasm, penis jokes, sexual jokes, and teenagers being dumb.

Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, intend to make a profit from this. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own Rise of the Guardians, How To Train Your Dragon, Mario Kart, Donkey kong, Luigi, Mario, Yoshi, Browser, Antarctica, knock knock jokes, a banana peel, mushrooms, a stretchable definition for the word 'flirtatious', or x-ray vision.

Don't listen to sexual jokes and drive in Mario Kart, kids.


Day 12: Jokes

You're about to go hardcore on Mario Kart when out of the blue, he appears. He sits next to you with a silly little smile, and you spare him a quick glance before going back to your game. There you are as Yoshi, gaining speed against an online Donkey Kong, just managing to cut a corner off Rainbow Road, when he taps your shoulder.

" 'Sup, Hiccup?"

"Hey, Jack. Do you mind if I try a few jokes on you?"

"Not really. As long as I can keep–YEAH! Haha, in your FACE, Kong!–but uh, if I can keep playing Mario Kart, then yeah, go ahead."

"Alright! Now let me just...think of...something…"

You shrug, and focus on using your faux-telekinetic abilities to get the game to give you a rocket for a super ability. It decides to negate your will, and instead gives you a puny little banana peel. You click your tongue in annoyance, manage to navigate around in front of Luigi, and drop the peel right in front of his cart. You chuckle darkly as he skids around the road. Serves him right, the little twerp, you still remember the pain of losing first place when he used that blue shell–

"Knock knock."

Oh wow, you almost forgot Hiccup was there. "Who's there?"

"Pennies."

You hiss in anticipation as Browser manages to knock you close to the edge, but you just barely manage to use your last mushroom and get the hell out of there before he can push you off. Breathing in relief, you answer, "Pennies who?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Hiccup grin. "Can I see your pennies?"

Yoshi swerves and falls off Rainbow Road before entering the tunnel. The controller falls out of your hands, but all you can do is stare at him, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. He flushes suddenly and looks away, grumbling under his breath. "Damn it, it wasn't supposed to be like that, it was supposed to be funnier." He suddenly jumps up and runs out of the room. "Wait a minute, I'm going to search up a better joke, hold on!"

You stare after him, barely blinking, before slowly picking up your controller and signing out of the game. What in all of Antarctica just happ–

"Okay okay, I'm back, and I've got a good one!"

Oh no. You look back to him, a little bit afraid, because really that was one of the worst jokes you've ever heard in your entire life; but you're also a little amused to, because it really is funny to see him trying so hard. "Uh, okay. Shoot."

He looks positively giddy. "Alright. Check this out." He clears his throat. "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Do you want two CD's?"

You give him a suspicious look, but go along with it anyway. "Um… Do you want two CD's who?"

He smirks victoriously. "Do you want two CD's nuts?"

You slap your forehead and groan. "Oh god no…"

He's giggling like a mad man, almost falling over, and you struggle to keep a straight face. "Hiccup, holy–Stop. No. Just stop."

He gasps in mock-horror. "No! No wait, I've got a better one, come on."

"NO! Jeez, that was… That was terrible–"

"Oh come on, please? Just one more?"

You look up to the ceiling, pretending you have x-ray vision and can see all the way past the roof and into the Heavens, where you ask for some godly guidance. You sigh and give Hiccup a timid smile. "Alright, fine. Hit me with your best shot."

His grin is nearing astronomical proportions. "Knock, knock."

You groan and cover your face with your hands. "Not another knock knock joke, please."

He laughs and nudges you playfully. "Knock, knock!"

Sigh… why me? What did I do to deserve this kind of torture, you think to yourself. "Who's there?"

"Anita."

You spring up and point a finger right at his big, poke-able nose. "I've heard that one way too many times before!"

He puts his hands up in an innocent facade, laughing and scooting backwards. "Alright, alright! Okay fine, I'll skip it then."

You collapse onto the floor with a moan of annoyance. "You have MORE?!"

"Only one more, really. I couldn't remember any others."

You turn your head to give him a blank stare. "Fine. But make sure it's a good one."

He grins, pretends to seriously attempt to get into character, and then gives you a look that could maybe be called flirtatious. You know, if you really stretched the definition of flirtatious to cover maybe over 100,000 miles or so. Maybe. "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

He waggles his eyebrows and tries to get his husky voice on. "Who do you want it to be?"

You can't help it. Everything is just so damn ridiculous. You're pretty sure you died that day–twice!–just from laughing.