A/N: I am pleased to say that the urge to write as returned. Big thank you to my reviewers for pointing out come inconsistencies in their reviews; it really helps me make this story as "realistic" as a "Girl Falls into Middle Earth" story can be. There will be a few page breaks during this chapter leading up to the Battle, since a lot will happen before hand. Big thanks for reading, all! Enjoy this next chapter!
Disclaimer:I own nothing except Kayla Harris. All rights for Lord of the Rings belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and his family. I also do not own any other references made throughout this story.
Journey to a Curious Place
Chapter Twelve:
Waiting for the Ball to Drop
I stood in the empty stone room, listening to the sound of the wind as it gently whistled through the rocks, and the water dripping all throughout Helm's Deep. It made a soft tap, tap noise as it fell, and I thought I felt a few hit my face and neck. My mind was still reeling from the conversation I had just had with Boromir. The poor man had looked so broken, but he had, surprisingly, kept it all inside, something that was odd even for him. I was so used to him exploding, or at the very least, snapping or being condescending. But this… Almost just shutting down as he had – it pained me more than I expected. Had I gone too far by hugging him? Isn't that what normal people do in situations where a loved one (that "loved one" being Aragorn in this case) died unexpectedly, or something bad happened to them? Maybe it was a common thing to do in my world, but here I couldn't say. All I knew was that it was probably best to let him be, and let him work with Théoden while they still could. The battle was incoming, and we were running out of time.
My breath was shaky, probably from the fact that I had just vomited. I sat moved back to the ledge I had been standing at when Boromir had found me, and rested my hands on it. From up here, I could almost see over the walls of Helm's Deep. To my right, there were mountains, and I knew on the other side was Isengard. Farther still southward, Edoras lay, and beyond that, the ridges that led to Gondor. Being here, in this place, facing what could be the end to it all, I wondered if I would ever make it to Gondor, and if I would ever be able to find out how I came here and, more importantly, how I would get home.
"This isn't funny anymore." The strength of my own voice surprised me, and I felt new tears sting my eyes. I looked up at the greying sky above me, knowing that, in the next day or so, the armies or Isengard would arrive, and a lot of innocent people were going to die. "This isn't funny anymore!" I said it more loudly this time, feeling frustration and anger start to bubble up inside me, much as I had seen happening in Boromir's eyes only minutes before.
"I don't know who you are, and I don't know why you sent me here, but it isn't funny anymore! This is real, and painful, and scary, and dangerous! Real people are dying; real lives are being destroyed!" Anger filled me to the brim, and I had to grip the stone ledge to keep from getting any more upset. I squeezed my eyes shut. There's no place like home, there's no place like home. I chanted those words in my head for what felt like an age, and when I opened my eyes again, I found myself still looking at the stone ledge, and still being able to hear the drip, drip of the water in Helm's Deep. I let out a sigh, and felt a few more tears fall.
I just wanted to go home.
"Kayla! What happened to you?"
Bera was staring at me, her eyes wide, and she hurried over to examine me thoroughly. She was probably worried because my dress was covered in dirt, dust, and water, and my face was streaked with tears. I probably looked pale having vomited, and my face most likely held confusion from my recent encounter with a certain Gondorian Captain; not to mention my wondering on what would happen next.
We were standing in a small room near the area of Helm's Deep that the Healers had set up in. Outside I could hear the sounds of pain and death, and the semi-soothing voices of the healers as they reassured the injured and dying. It was both commendable, and depressing. I had returned from my little episode and encounter with Boromir only moments before, and I knew I didn't look any close to normal.
"I'm fine, Bera," I managed, gently pushing her off of me, and striding across the small, unsurprisingly stone, room to grab a cloth to clean off my face. I had given up on basic hygiene until this was all over. I would bathe myself properly again after we won – if we won.
"But you look as though you have been through something terrible," the girl pressed on, regarding me with concern. "Has something happened?"
I turned, trying very hard not to look at her with too much incredulity. "Aragorn fell in the ambush." It hurt even saying it out loud, much as it did to think that he was gone for good, and I had fucked up so badly that he wasn't coming back.
Bera's eyes widened. "Oh," she suddenly looked very sad, if not a little guilty. "I am so sorry, Kayla." She mumbled, coming towards me again. She gripped my hands, and this time I didn't pull away. "Lady Éowyn told me what had happened. I had forgotten that he was your friend, as well; that you had travelled with him and his group to Edoras." She squeezed my hands once, before letting them drop. "I am truly sorry, Kayla; I am."
I nodded, feeling a lump start to form in my throat. I turned away, "Thank you, Bera, I appreciate it." I wetted the cloth I was still holding from a pitcher on a nearby table, and pressed it to my eyes. My head was throbbing, and I knew that I would be getting another migraine in the next few hours, if I was lucky. If it came now, I doubted I would be able to do any job I was given properly. Powering through the pain was an option, but not an ideal one. Christ, I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was sleep.
"I saw Lord Boromir come by before you came back," Bera said, her voice was soft – that of someone treading on broken glass around a sensitive topic. "Has he heard the news of Lord Aragorn?"
I nodded once, "He has; I told him before I came back here." I patted down my cheeks, and the back of my neck with the cool cloth, relishing in the feeling of it on my burning skin.
"How did he handle the news?" Bera asked, moving away across the room to gather up more bandages. We would probably have to return to tending to the wounded from the ambush now.
I shrugged, trying to brush off the conversation as best I could. "Well enough, I suppose. I think he wants to distract himself by throwing himself into the plans for the next few days if we get attacked again."
"He and Lord Aragorn always appeared to be close – my heart aches for him." Bera let out a small, sad sigh as she picked up the same wicker basket we had used for laundry back in Edoras. "He is a strong man, however, and I am sure his grief will be channeled well into battle plans."
I felt a stab of something, but ignored it. Instead, I forced a smile on my face, and nodded again. "You're right. One of the last things he said to me before we parted ways was that we have to endure now; it's all we can do." Bera gave me a small smile, squeezed my arm once more, before turning away and leaving me alone once again. I decided now would be a good time to get changed into a somewhat cleaner outfit before going back out to help with tending to the refugees.
I went to my pack, which was slightly soaked with water from the constant dripping in Helm's Deep, and found the other dress I had, which looked exactly like the one I was already wearing, minus the dust, water, and what suspiciously looked like dried vomit from when I had puked up a lung earlier. I pulled my old dress off, hissing at the cold air as it stung my semi bare skin, and yanked the new-ish one over my head. I folded up the old one, and threw it back in my pack, before running my brush through my hair, as well.
My hair was definitely getting longer. I knew because my bangs now tickled just under my eye, which was why I had kept wearing them in a braid along my hairline, in order to keep them out of the way. I hadn't had long hair in a number of years and, unless I could find some sort of barber in the next little while, I would have longer hair again in no time. It would only be a matter of time before it tickled by collar bones again, and then who only knew what I would do with it then. Unruly mess is what it was becoming.
I exited the room, and was greeted with the stench of the dying, and the sounds of it. I steeled myself, trying to think of anything but what was going on at present. I figured I would go find Éowyn, and see if she needed any help with anything while I bided my time, waiting for the inevitable to happen.
I passed the steps that led up to the Keep where Théoden had taken up refuge, and spotted Boromir speaking with Legolas and Gimli, no doubt waiting for the King to reappear. As I was looking up at them while I walked by, Boromir spotted me, and our gazes caught for a moment. I gave him a small, sad smile, which he returned, though his looked much more strained than mine.
Even as our eye contact broke, and the three headed inside the Keep, I found that my eyes didn't leave him until he was out of sight.
It had been nearly three days since our arrival at Helm's Deep, and there was still no sign of Aragorn. I was beginning to get more and more panicked as each day went by. Shouldn't he have been back by now? Why wasn't he back yet? I think the others were starting to sense the impending doom that lurked just beyond the mountains in which Helm's Deep was nestled.
I had kept myself as busy as I could for those three days, and let me say it had not been easy. My mind kept coming back to Aragorn, and if he was going to return any time soon. Hell, I had no idea when the armies of Isengard were going to be upon us, either. These people had no idea what was coming, and it pained me, knowing that so many more would be lost in such a short period of time.
I was walking back to my quarters near the steps that led up to the Keep, when I spotted Boromir descending from what I assumed was an audience with Théoden. I was just passing the steps as he came to the bottom, and he stopped short upon spotting me.
"Kayla," he inclined his head once upon seeing me. "How are you?" He was asking out of politeness, not out of really wanting to know. We were all in a bad way right now, and I knew he knew that.
I played along, for his sake, and the sake of the others. "I'm fine; how are you?" I shifted the basket carrying dirty and bloody bandages in my arms. I had been taking them back to be cleaned.
The smile he gave me was, once again, heavily strained, and did not reach anywhere near his eyes. "I am well; I have just taken leave of King Théoden to find myself some food and drink, while he discusses more with Captain Hàma."
I could've let the conversation end there. I could've nodded, said it was nice chatting, and let him be on his way. I could've gone back to my quarters, and washed another load of dirty, grimy, and blood covered bandages. I could've done a lot of things.
But I didn't.
Instead, I fixed him with a look. "No, Boromir, I mean it: how are you?" When his eyebrows raised in confusion, I put the basket I was holding down, and looked at him again. "I'm serious – how have you been holding up? You know, since…" My voice trailed off at this, and I think he knew what I was going to say.
Realization dawned on his face. "Ah, I see you are asking for the truth." When I nodded, the look he gave me was filled with pain. He gestured slightly to the side, and I took it to mean he wanted us to move. I picked up the basket again, and we drifted off and away from the base of the steps, so that we weren't in the way.
When we came to a stop, he looked away for a second, before looking back at me. He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. "I will not lie to you, Kayla, this has not been easy." His sounded so tired. "I will admit, I do not know where to begin."
I put the basket down, moving forward. "I know; and I know this is hard for you to talk about, so I'm not going to pressure you, but –" I paused, trying to find the right words myself. After a second, I spoke again. "Look, I know that in the past, you and I haven't exactly gotten along; we've had our fair share of disagreements." I saw a small smirk pass along his face. Finally, a real smile, even if it was slightly mocking. I pressed on, "But, Boromir, I know from experience that not talking about the things that cause us pain, only makes that pain worse."
There was a brief paused, in which Boromir opened his mouth to speak. "Kayla –"
"I know you're busy," I added quickly, "So I won't keep you any longer." I looked up at him, hoping to look as earnest as possible, "But I want you to know that if, for whatever reason, you do need to talk about all of this, I'm willing to listen."
Boromir stared down at me, his grey eyes filled with confusion, and perhaps the slightest bit of compassion. "I – thank you." He looked like he wanted to say more, but didn't. I took this opportunity to add my one, final comment, before returning to my duties, and stop keeping him from his.
"This hasn't been easy for any of us. If we don't all stick together, we'll never make it out of this alive." I gave him my best "I'm trying to be a good friend" smile, which he returned, albeit with a little more confusion. I tried to make light of what I think I had made into an unnecessarily awkward situation. "Now go, and get something to eat. I've wasted enough of your time for one day." I picked up the basket again, and rested it against my hip, and gave Boromir a small nod as a goodbye. As I was walking out, I turned back to say one last thing.
"Oh, and tell Legolas and Gimli that the same thing goes for them, as well." When his eyebrow rose, I added. "I probably wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for all of you. The least I can do is listen if any of you need to vent about what happened." I left on that, since I knew he really was probably very busy, and I had my own things to get done.
I hurried back down to my quarters, without so much as a backwards glance. I hoped what I said had helped. I had meant it: I would most likely be very dead right now, had I not run into the Fellowship. I was grateful that they had allowed me to travel for as long as they did, and even more so how I now had a semi stable living situation, and enough food to survive. (The latter being debateable at this point, seeing as we were slowly running low on provisions as a collective.)
Despite only knowing these people for over a month, I really had come to care about their well-beings. They had been kind to me, and they were going through so much. I couldn't use a weapon to save my own, or anyone else's, lives, and I couldn't track missing Hobbits, or even see distances without my glasses. I knew a little about being a Healer, but that was only from what Aedre and Bera had taught me. Right now, the best thing I could do was be kind to them in these dark times, and I would use my powers for good, dammit.
It was around midday when I heard the footsteps. My head shot up from my work of cleaning those damned cloths to bring back to the healers when the sound filled my ears. My chest constricted, and my heart began to pound. What had happened? Was the army here now? Were we in danger? I could see people running by the room I was in, and there was loud chatter, sounding somewhat excited, mixed with fear. What was going on? I leapt up, tossing the cloths aside and into the basket, before racing out of the room. I wanted to get a good view of what was going on, so I raced up the steps towards the Keep, in order to look out over Helm's Deep.
I made it to the top of the stairs, and was about to whip around and look to see what was going on, when I froze.
Just ahead of me, perhaps fifty paces or so, stood Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir. But I wasn't looking at them. I was looking at the fourth with them, in all his bloody, drenched, and very much alive glory.
It was Aragorn.
Legolas glanced passed the Ranger, having spotted me come racing up the stairs, and a small smile passed across his face. The other turned or glanced in my direction upon noticing Legolas looking at me. When Aragorn turned around and saw me there, a small, half smile crossed his face. At that, I broke into a sprint, racing up to him, and coming to a stop directly before the future King of Gondor. I stood there, staring at him for a second, before throwing my arms around him in a back breaking hug.
"Oh, thank God!" I cried happily, as I pulled away to get a good look at the man. "Are you alright; do you have any severe injuries? I'm so happy you're alive!" I couldn't even get the last words out before I hugged him again. Aragorn let out a snort laugh, gently patting my back as I hugged him. I took that as my queue to let go, and did so quickly, my face red from embarrassment.
Aragorn turned his gaze away from me to address us as a group. "I have news; but I must speak with the King first." He nodded to us all once, before heading for the entrance to the Keep. I watched him go until he was out of sight, and the huge wooden doors had slammed behind him. When they had closed, I exhaled in relief, shaking my head while trying to supress a grin. I glanced to my right, and saw Boromir was fixing me with a stare. He looked almost amused. Almost.
"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "Like you're not happy he's alive!" When I said this, Boromir actually chuckled. The sound sounded so unfamiliar, given how negative and bleak things had been lately.
"I am glad, of course, Kayla." When I gave him the "but what else?" look, he simply said. "I will follow Aragorn into the Keep. No doubt he must be updated on the plans King Théoden and I have discussed. He nodded once, bid us all farewell, and entered the Keep after Aragorn.
I sighed, throwing a look at Legolas and Gimli, who had remained outside with me. "He'll never admit it, but he's just as happy as I am about this."
When I was given only a slight smile from the elf, and a deep chuckle from the dwarf, I gave up, rolling my eyes, and descended the steps back into my quarters where I kept working away on cleaning the cloths.
I was ecstatic. Aragorn was alive, and I couldn't be more thrilled. My royal fuckery hadn't costed an innocent man his life, and Gondor still had hope of having a King to rule them. All we had to do now was try to survive the Battle of Helm's Deep, and things would move along smoothly. At least, I hope they would. I had no idea what was going to happen when the battle actually happened. Where would I go? What would I do? What if they were all killed during the battle? What if Aragorn died – what if…?
"Stop it," I told myself. "Just stop it, Kayla." I busied myself with cleaning. "You can't start freaking out until you know exactly what's going on. Yes, your anxiety wants you to start having a panic attack and hyperventilating because you have no idea what's going to happen, but you need to get a goddamn grip."
I worked for the next hour cleaning the cloths, until I had gotten most of the blood and dirt off of them. I figured it would be enough to use them again on the wounded, and was about to exit the room with them, when I saw a troupe of men march by the door. It looked like guards but…
Oh crap.
It wasn't just guards that were marching by. There were men, and even younger looking boys, maybe twelve at the youngest. They were all equipping themselves with weapons and… Was that armor one of the boy's was wearing?
Uh oh.
I put down the basket, and ran out of my quarters. I had only run a few paces, before almost accidentally tacking Bera. The girl let out a shriek when we nearly collided. I leapt back, quickly, apologizing profusely.
"Bera," I managed once we had both caught our breaths. "What's going on? I saw men in armor – and not just guards. Why are there young boys holding weapons?"
Bera's eyes were wide with fear. "I have just spoken with Lady Éowyn, Kayla. It is not good news I bring."
I felt fear begin to seep into my veins. "Bera – what's happened?"
The girl looked like a terrified child. "Lord Aragorn returned not long ago," when I nodded, indicating I already knew, she continued hurriedly. "My Lady said he brought word of an army approaching Helm's Deep."
I paled, "An army?"
She nodded, and I could see the sheer terror in her eyes, and hear it in her voice when she spoke. "An army of ten thousand. They will be here by nightfall."
The women, children, and elderly were being herded like cattle into the caves that Helm's Deep sat upon. Every able-bodied man, elder, and even young boy was being instructed by the King to take up arms against the oncoming assault that would surely be upon us in no time. Everyone was running around the Keep, trying to gather as their belongings together, before either hurrying to the caves, or being put in armor.
I had spent the last two hours moving food, supplies, weapons, and the injured into the caves. Now, as the sun had set and darkness was creeping into Helm's Deep, I was standing outside of the quarters I had been working in earlier, staring at the impending chaos unfolding around me. I saw men, women, children, and guards rushing up and down the stairs, securing doors, and bidding tearful goodbyes to each other. It was heart breaking, and also somewhat humbling. These people had nothing but each other. Their love for one another was so pure and untainted. I envied them a little.
It was when I saw Boromir, clad in armor and wielding a sword and shield, coming down the steps with Aragorn and Théoden that I realized, despite his injuries, he would still be fighting. I leapt to my feet as they walked by, and caught Aragorn's arm
"Aragorn, I'm sorry, could I ask you something?" The ranger fixed me with a look; he was very busy, and I knew this was probably a bad time, but I had to ask. "The injured… Are they fighting as well? I mean, not the severely injured. But, say, if they only had partially healed ribs, for example? Would they still be fighting?"
It only took Aragorn a brief moment to realize what I was referring to. "All able bodied men must fight tonight, Kayla, as King Théoden has ordered. If they can hold a sword, they must fight."
My eyebrows knitted together in worry. "But what if they aren't fully healed yet? Is this not more like a suicide mission for them?"
Aragorn began to turn away to follow after Théoden, "We face what could be an impossible feat, Kayla. If you have concerns…" I could see the regret, sadness, and contempt in his eyes towards this whole thing. "My only suggestion would be to say your goodbyes now." He didn't need to continue for me to get the gist.
I moved forward and gripped his arms gently for a moment. "Good luck, Aragorn; and be careful."
He smiled once, briefly. "You should go to the caves now, Kayla, and remain in safety as best you can."
I nodded, "I know; I will. I just have a few things to do before, but I will soon."
He nodded, "See to it that it is soon – they will be upon us before too long." He inclined his head once, and departed to join Théoden and Boromir, who were standing at the edge of the stairs that led up to the battlements. I could smell rain, and I knew it wasn't far off. As I watched them, Boromir noticed me, excused himself, and approached me.
"It is a grave evening we face," he began. He looked grim, and I knew he was probably assuming the same as everyone else: we were all going to die.
I looked down, trying to hide the fear in my face. "It is." We were both silent for a moment, before he spoke again.
"You should return to the caves, Kayla. You will be safer there." He meant it to be kind, I'm sure, but it only sounded like "It'll take them longer to get to you and kill you, that way".
I felt my lower lip begin to tremble. I had never been so scared in my life. I blinked back tears, and looked back up at him. "I'm about to; I just wanted to wish you luck before…" My voice trailed away, and Boromir nodded once.
"Thank you, Kayla, truly. We will need all our luck on this evening."
I nodded in return, and he began to turn away to ascend to the battlements. As he was walking away, I felt a word vomit start to bubble up inside my stomach. I tried to fight it, but it came out anyway.
"Promise me you'll come back."
Upon saying this, I felt really stupid. No one could guarantee their safety in war like this, not even a seasoned warrior like Boromir, or a skilled Ranger like Aragorn. Boromir turned back to face me, his expression unreadable.
"I'm sorry?"
I took a breath, and forced a smile on my face. "You heard me. I didn't spend a week of my life looking after you to have you go dying on me tonight." He was staring at me with a mixture of surprise, amusement, and slight exasperation. I tried to sound light and calm. "Don't make me regret saving you, now." He let out an only slightly mirthless chuckle, and I tried to keep my own smile on my face, but it felt like my skin was threatening to shatter. "Good luck, by the way." I added.
He had his own, pained smile fixed on his face. "And you as well; remain in safety with the others, and do not be afraid to take up arms should the time come." He turned away again, and as he was walking up to the steps for the second time, he looked back, his face still grim, but a slight smile on his lips. "I will do all I can to not cause you any regret for all you have done, Kayla." And then he was gone, and I was left standing alone in the slowly emptying Helm's Deep.
Behind me, I heard someone call my name. "Kayla! We must hurry to the caves!" I turned, and saw Bera waiting for me, her young face set, but also fearful. I nodded, and hurried after her, all the while blinking away the sting of tears that threatened to fall.
A/N: I decided to cut this chapter short here. I realized after beginning it that I bit off a little more than I could chew with this one, so feel free to consider this a filler chapter. The actual battle chapter will most likely be very long, so I wanted to avoid a 40 page chapter, and instead split it into two chapters (mostly to waste more time, ha!) I hope you all enjoyed this! R&R, please!
