Blue Eyed Bandit
By: LockedSoulsAM
A/n: It's been a really rough week for me and it just keeps getting worse. Hopefully anxiety/depression won't rear its ugly head anymore for a while so that I can get back to my writing. I would have updated many times last week but nothing felt right.
Please excuse any mistakes (i'll reedit tomorrow) and thanks for always being patient with me.
Hope you enjoy =)
Chapter 12
Regina couldn't sleep the night after August called her with the news about Emma's birth mother. She'd tossed and turned the whole night as her mind went through every single scenario it could come up with. She finally settled on her back and stared up at the ceiling; a very bland ceiling compared to the walls around her. She almost forgot that she was in Emma's bed until a tiny hand found its way under her shirt to land her on stomach. She smiled at Emma trying to seek out her warmth and comfort even in a deep sleep. The slight tug in her chest becoming stronger as Emma whimpered and rubbed her face into her pillow.
She brushed a few strands from Emma's face and observed the little girl sleeping. Emma's chubby little cheeks were red from sleeping on her hand while her messy bed-head signified her wild sleeping. Her mouth formed into a pout as she tried to get comfortable while subconsciously scooting closer to Regina. Regina had given up on any sort of comfort that could come with sleeping in a twin bed. Both Regina and Emma were pretty tiny people but Emma slept at weird angles. Which Regina's ribs protested many times before.
Regina tried to clear her head and count sheep. She only got to 10 before she could close her eyes. It always worked when she was younger. This time it only seemed to frustrate her more. Regina sighed and opened her eyes to once again stare at the ceiling. This wasn't going to work at all. She quickly slipped out of bed and made sure to put Mr. Waffle in her place. Emma didn't move an inch and Regina internally celebrated her victory on not waking her child.
Bare feet padded along hardwood floors. They were a little cold and she stepped down into the foyer to turn off the air conditioning. It had been a little high throughout the day because of the summer heat. She must have forgotten to turn it off . Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned on a few lights to lead her path into the kitchen. She set about making herself a cup of chamomile tea to try and ease her mind. She needed it right about now.
Regina waited until the kettle was hot and turned it off just before it started to make any form of a squeal. Her eyes zeroed in on the clock hanging on her wall. It was almost 3 am. She rolled her eyes and groaned. Tomorrow would definitely be a rough day. Nothing was planned but the doom of knowing Emma would wake her up as early as possible troubled her.
Finally her tea was done and she carried her mug into the living room. Before she could flop down onto the couch she pulled a cover over her shoulders and tucked her legs under her. Essentially she was in the dark except for one little lamp in the corner she'd forgotten to turn off after putting Emma to bed.
Her gaze lifted to a few items left on the coffee table. There were a few stickers on the items and she chuckled. Emma seemed to love almost everything in this house. It made her happy how happy Emma was here. Her stomach had been in knots since earlier at the idea of Emma being taken away. She always knew there was a possibility of them finding Emma's birth mother before she could finalize the adoption. She knew they were looking for her. But this all seemed so sudden.
August hadn't given her much information but this woman, Emma's birth mother, wanted to weigh her options. Was it even really that hard to think about whether you wanted your child or not? Shaking her head, Regina decided long ago not to be judgmental of this woman. Whomever she was, this woman gave her Emma. Not directly but they'd found their way to each other.
Regina felt selfish in a way. Emma had the right to know who her mother was. Emma had the right to live with someone with her best interests at heart. Regina felt that she had Emma's best interests at heart and so much more. Emma had become her child in these past few months and with how good she was getting along this didn't need to change. Emma was a welcomed stranger in a time where she was alone.
That could all change in the blink of an eye. It physically hurt her heart to think about not waking up to Emma practically bouncing on her bed, or the little girl asking for grilled cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Her life would go back to being the dull life it had always been. Despite her job, Emma gave her a purpose.
"Momma?" Regina startled and turned to see Emma in her green footie pajamas with Mr. Waffle in one hand standing in the door way. She was using her other hand to rub the sleep from her eyes and it made her look so much younger. Regina's heart soared at the name and she beckoned Emma over.
Emma tiredly walked over to Regina where she spent no time thinking about crawling into Regina's lap. Once she was comfortable in Regina's arms she looked up at her sleepily. She snuggled under the cover and opened her mouth to speak.
"Momma, why are you down here?" Emma's raspy sleep filled voice filled her ears. She set her cup of tea down onto the coffee table but Emma held up a hand to stop her. "Can I try some?"
Regina didn't know if she should be letting Emma drink so late in the night but she tipped the mug to Emma's lips with instructions for the little girl to drink it slowly. Emma took a few sips before she found her spot against Regina's chest.
"Warm." Emma whispered and Regina couldn't decipher whether she meant the tea or her. It didn't need to be questioned at this point as Emma was probably half asleep anyways.
"I'm down here because I couldn't sleep." Regina set her mug onto the coffee table. She cradled Emma in one arm and made them both more comfortable against the couch cushions. "Why are you awake Missy? Did you have a nightmare?"
Regina was amazed at how soft she was with emma. Her whole demeanor seemed to change around her. Regina had been around children before and while they were cute none of them were Emma. Regina figured all parent's had this bias when it came to their kids. It was like a second nature to be so motherly and Emma seemed to love it. She craved comfort and Regina was always willing to give it to her.
"I just wanna be with you." Emma mumbled tiredly. Regina didn't like how this sounded and she knew they would be awake for a little while longer. "I'm scared."
"Of what?" Regina frowned. She rubbed Emma's back soothingly.
"I had a bad dream." Emma muttered. Little eyebrows furrowed as Emma tried to recount what she dreamt about. "I was in the hospital again. I woke up all alone and nobody was there. They gave me more medicine and I had to sleep. I don't want anymore. I couldn't find you, Momma."
"I know honey." Regina whispered rocking Emma in her arms. "No one is going to give you anymore medicine and no one is going to take you away. I'm right here and you're safe."
"You promise?"Emma's blue eyes shifted to meet hers. Regina wanted to promise and ease all of her fears but she couldn't. She couldn't promise and it hurt her to no end. So she deflected and began to tell Emma a story of when she was a little girl.
"You know when I was a little girl my daddy used to sing to me when I couldn't sleep?"
This seemed to do the trick and Emma was satisfied for the time being.
"Because your mommy couldn't do it?" Emma questioned.
"That's right." Regina's thoughts flashed to Cora and she shuddered. The few times she'd spoken with that woman she didn't seem to have a motherly bone in her body. "My daddy used to sing to me. He couldn't sing to save his life but it always made me feel better to hear his voice."
"Can you sing to me? Since I'm your baby? Right?" Emma so badly needed the confirmation that she was Regina's child for good. She needed to know that no one was going to take her away from a home she'd finally settled into.
"You are my baby and I can sing to you." Regina smiled. If her council members could see her now they would probably be stuck in between shock and some other emotion that wasn't equivalent to her behavior. Regina's mind drew a blank and while she wasn't a singer she had to think fast. So the first song that came to mind she found herself softly singing the melody.
"It must have been cold there in my shadow,"
Regina cringed as she began to sing Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler. Lord only knows why she chose that song but one look down at Emma and she continued. Blue eyes looked up expectantly and Regina cleared her throat before she began again.
"To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long,
A beautiful smile to hide the pain."
Thick lashes fluttered and Emma's eyes grew heavier as she let Regina's singing lull her into dreamland. Her singing wasn't as bad as she thought it was. At least not to Emma, but then again everything she did was great to Emma. It felt good to be looked up to in such a way.
It felt great to be a mother when she herself had grown up without one.
"Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings."
Regina pulled the cover over them even more and laid Emma on her side. Emma quickly pulled back into her and she sighed. Such a precious little girl that changed her life for the better. Regina was forever thankful for that.
A few more song lyrics played inside of Regina's head as she let herself succumb to her own exhaustion.
"It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth,
of course I know it
I would be nothing without you."
"Can I get two colors?" Emma pressed her face into the glass of the spa. Regina woke up with an idea of Emma's last day out of school to spend it at the spa.
It would be just the two of them on the last day of the summer getting ready for the upcoming school year. Emma didn't really need new clothes but later in the day they would have to do the dreaded school shopping. Emma was always excited about getting new things and Regina spoiled her rotten.
"Yes, you can." Regina put a few quarters into the parking meter. She hoped it was enough but didn't really know a person that would dare give the mayor a parking ticket. Turning to Emma, she winced as Emma's face touched the glass. "Emma, don't put your face on the glass."
"But why?" Emma pulled away to look up at her mother. "I need to see inside."
"There are germs and if you need to see inside your face does not have to touch the glass."Regina gestured that Emma could step inside.
"Will I get sick with germs?" Emma asked. She really didn't even know what germs were.
"You can." Regina replied while stepping up to the counter. Emma looked around at the entire spa. This was just the lobby and she was pretty sure there was more stuff to be seen in the back of the store. "Hi reservations for Mills."
"Hi, Miss Mills, I'm Connie." The girl at the counter smiled up at her. "I just need your ID and credit card."
Emma stood on the tip of her toes but she still couldn't see the person behind the counter. She was going to jump but one look from Regina and she decided not to. Emma was a little girl that didn't get into much trouble but there were still times where Regina found her being mischievous and a little rambunctious.
"Mandy will take you both into the back where you can change into your robes." Connie pointed to her friend that was waiting by a door in the corner. There were many doors but this one must have lead to the locker room.
"Hi, Ms. Mills, and little Miss Mills." Mandy greeted. "I hope you enjoy your visit here today and I'll show you to the locker room where you both can change."
Regina held onto Emma's hand as they were lead through the building and into the locker room. There weren't many other women there on a Sunday and Regina was grateful.
"Mommy, we have to change in front of all these people?"Emma tugged on Regina's hands. She wasn't shy but it was a little weird.
"We have bathrooms where you can change if it makes you more comfortable." Mandy mentioned as she grabbed a few towels and robes. "Since you're doing the mother daughter special I think it would be just fine for you."
"Yes, thank you." Regina rubbed her thumb on the back of Emma's hand. Once they were dressed in their robes(opting to keep their clothes on under) Regina and Emma took their places in a massage chair. Their feet were set in water while their hands were attended.
"Are you excited for school?" Regina felt now was a good time to talk to Emma about the upcoming school year. She didn't know when it would be appropriate to bring up the topic of Emma's birth mother. She didn't want the child to panic especially when she was herself.
"Yep." Emma nodded kicking her feet in the water. She was so tiny that if she sat back her feet wouldn't even touch the water or anything at all. "I'm going to see Roland and Lily there."
"Your friends from the park?"Regina remembered that Lily was Mal's daughter.
Emma nodded her head but never took her eyes away from her nails. She decided on red and green. She said they were Christmas colors and that even though it wasn't Christmas they would make her happy. Regina couldn't deny her after that.
"Mommy, I think Ingrid likes you." Emma commented out of nowhere. This made Regina choke on her own saliva. She looked down at the nail techs that shared looks of amusement and then back to Emma.
"What makes you think that?"
"I heard Elsa and Anna talking." Emma answered matter of factually. "They were teasing Ms. Ingrid and they said how she wanted to kiss you. Then Anna said she wanted to do more than kiss but what do you do that's more than kissing? Hugging?"
Regina's cheeks blushed and she shook her head. Anna was certainly how she imagined herself to be at that age. No filter and she said whatever came to mind. Despite being through trauma of her own, Emma's knowledge of sex seemed to be minor and she was relieved. Regina didn't think this was the appropriate place to answer Emma's questions.
"Hugging, yes." Regina thought this would satisfy Emma until she was really able to have a conversation with Emma. At her age she was becoming more curious about her body and she needed to know about good touch and bad touch. They'd briefly talked about the subject all those weeks ago but now was the time to go more in depth. Emma truly needed to understand.
"Okay." Emma nodded.
Regina sighed and let herself relax while she got a pedicure. Emma carried on a conversation with the staff and she was a joy to be around.
Today was a pretty relaxing day.
A/n: So next chapter we will have a little bit of Cora and a bunch more Mommy/daughter time. Also drama of course.
See you soon,
-LSAM
