A/N: I have very little to say before this chapter except...more angst! I love it, hopefully I'm not driving anyone too insane... :/ haha And after my last update I managed to get out a bunch more chapters soooooo updates will be once a week now, every Saturday or Sunday! Woot! This is a special update since you've all been so great and patient and I've been so crappy! Lots of love 3
As Erza's words sunk in, I frowned slightly. She was right, in a way. I shouldn't be lying to everyone in the guild, but it wasn't like I wanted to. I was trying to protect Natsu because I wanted him to be happy with Lisanna. In theory I could tell everyone but him, but then Lisanna would be forced to lie to him and that wouldn't be fair, especially since they were mates. If I limited my lie to those two, then Mira and Elfman would be lying to their sister and that was also wrong. Realistically, lying to the guild was the best option because, aside from Levy, no one was lying to the each other. I was the only one who really had to deal with the guilt of it, but that didn't make it any better either.
Besides, if Erza wasn't falling for the lie, then I doubted she was the only one. Suddenly uneasy, I glanced around the guild, wondering who else suspected something was amiss with the story Jason and I had spun.
"It's complicated." I finally spoke and the requip mage let out a puff of air.
"Everything always seems to be complicated around you two, but the rest of us don't see it as such." That bit at least made some sense. Levy had told me weeks ago that the whole guild suspected something was between Natsu and I. That'd been at least half right, but that was one rumor that needed to be put to rest.
Forcing a laugh, I corrected her, "Nothing is complicated when it comes to Natsu. He wears his heart on his sleeve."
She nodded, one eye brow raised slightly. "That he does Lucy."
"But that doesn't mean people don't read too much into things either."
Again she nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Usually, it is those closest to him that are oblivious to the truth."
"I doubt Lisanna is as clueless as you think Erza." I pointed out, and the smile disappeared.
"Lisanna?"
Now it was my turn to nod. "Isn't it obvious? He spends all his time with her and even took her out on a mission with the three of you. She seems pretty special to him." Each word stung my chest, but I knew it was the truth.
"I'll admit he's spent a lot of time with her, but so have the rest of us." Her brow furrowed as she thought over my response. "And the mission was something all of was wanted to do. Not something Natsu specifically requested. We figured you would need the jewels for your rent and had expected you to be joining us. Given the circumstances its understandable why you did not."
"Wait, you'd wanted me to come along?" It was my turn to be confused.
At my words, Erza seemed to freeze. Her eyes latched onto mine and studied me carefully as her entire face grew impassive. "Was there any doubt of that?"
"Well when Natsu told me the four of you…" I trailed off as everything seemed to click into place. Erza and Gray had been planning on it being the five of us, even Lisanna had been planning on it being the five of us. Which meant that it was Natsu who hadn't wanted me to go with them. A new wave of betrayal passed over me, and I felt my eyes begin to sting. I'd been upset about our recent fight whereas Natsu had clearly been planning to end it ages ago. Team Natsu had wanted me to go along; Natsu was the one who no longer wanted me. He'd lied when he said it wasn't about my strength or that we were still partners. Lied because I was nothing more than a hinderance and it was easier to lie than tell the truth. Less damage was left in the wake. "I'm an idiot." I murmured as the new revelation sunk in.
A loud bang disrupted my thoughts and I glanced towards the noise. The doors had been flung open harshly and I could see Natsu clearly outlined in the bright light. From behind me, I heard Jason mutter a quick "shit" before he was at my side, gripping my arm. But I was still staring at the man at the front of the guild. He was like a stranger now. Everything I'd thought I knew about his character had been a lie. I'd never expected Natsu to be so…cruel. No that wasn't the right word, no matter what happened I could never connected that word to the Dragon Slayer. Cold was better.
For a moment, the two of us stayed still staring at each other, but I quickly tore my eyes away and saw him do the same, shortly after, from the corner of my eye.
"Lucy," Jason was whispering in my ear and I tried to focus my thoughts on him instead of the numb feeling that was spreading through my veins. "Let's go, we can come back another day…" He began but I shook my head. The numbness was driving away the pain and grief and hurt. For the first time in days I felt…nothing. It wasn't a good feeling, but it was better than constantly being close to tears. If Natsu no longer cared, than neither would I.
