As she was walking out the door, Skyler took one last glance at me before finally walking out for who knows how long. As Aizen-sama was about to continue speaking, Halibell jumped up and pardoned herself for a short moment. As she ran past me, I swore I saw her carrying my…no it was impossible.

I slumped back in my chair and sighed to myself. Looking around the table at everyone's faces, I noticed that a certain light air had been lifted once Skyler had left. Grimmjow's face was actually serious for once, and Sayzel looked like he wanted to shrivel up and die. As much as I didn't want to admit it, Skyler brought a certain light to this place that no one else ever did…at least until I crushed the light bulb. I didn't want to be like that, but when Sayzel pushed her off of me that one day and had her- I felt a pang within my heart. In fact, the first night we spent in Halibell's room and she sat next to me on the couch- I felt something stirring within my heart…and it was so unsettling.

Halibell came running back into the room and took her seat between Nel and Stark- who proceeded to grab her hand. I wish that I could feel the way she does when she's with Stark, but no one could ever love someone as cold as me- nor could I love anyone.

"Ulquiorra are you listening?" Aizen-sama asked. I looked up at him and nodded once.

"Yes, I was just caught up in my thoughts- I apologize, Aizen-sama." I replied. The meeting ended shortly after that and Aizen-sama beckoned me over to him.

"I have a very important mission for you, Ulquiorra." He said.

"What can I do to be of service?" I replied. He leaned back in his seat and put a hand to his chin.

"I need you to go to the real world and collect a special woman. She has a power I've never seen before and she needs to be on our side." He replied while smiling.

"I will see what I can do." I said before bowing and walking out. While I shuffled to my room, I took a detour down another hall. I walked right up to the door with the black symbol on it, and to my surprise it wasn't locked. I pushed it open and walked into the darkened room. It looked so empty without anything decorating the walls like they used to. When she left, I guess she tried to make the room look horrifyingly empty.

I sat down on her bed and looked at the floor. Halibell wasn't kidding when she said Sky had the best room. I lay back and stared at the ceiling. Feeling slightly nosey, I rolled onto my right side and leaned off of the bed and opened the drawer next to it. After browsing through and not finding anything of interest, I moved to the bottom drawer. I was about to give up and close that one too when an odd looking tan book caught my eye. I lifted it out of the drawer and the front cover had the word 'Journal' on the cover.

"I really shouldn't…but it's just so tempting." I said to myself as I opened up to the front page.

It's only been a day here in this hell hole and I'm ready to end it now. If I could find my real salvation in death, I would be willing right now. I would rather die right here than serve under Aizen and fight my friends. There was a peculiar looking character who answered the door for me when I first arrived here, though. I later found out his name was Ulquiorra- he seemed so misunderstood. I just wanted to reach out and touch his face, to let him know there was someone there. He caught my interest immediately and I needed to know more about him.

I closed the book and my eyes widened. I had no idea she felt that way about me right after meeting me. I was so tempted to meet more, but I didn't feel right. What if a secret was laying in there that no one was supposed to see? I would have a guilty conscience…even though I don't care about her. I decided I would skip more toward the middle of the book.

I'm happy to have made friends here; they make me feel like I belong. I'm glad to see that Ulquiorra stuck around too; maybe I could get to know him better now. We usually speak to each other when I go to Hally's room and it's the best time to listen to his stories. I just wish I understood why he was so sad…

I skipped ahead further to a more recent date.

Why does he have to be so cruel? He was the first person I had ever met here and now he's treating me like vermin! I deserve something better than this that's for sure, if Aizen wants me so bad things will have to change or I'll leave…one way or another. Feeling so terrible from the way Ulquiorra treats me…it's just so weird. I don't understand why it impacts me so. My heart feels like it's been torn into a thousand pieces and will never be put together. It hurts so much, if I could stand on top of Las Noches and scream my heart out without anyone noticing- it would be perfect. Just being in this place and feeling so empty makes me long for Soul Society again. I miss Hisagi more than anything right now. I can never forget what I shared with him because I'm still in love with him.

I shut the book and threw it back in the drawer. I closed it and walked out of the room. Hisagi, a Soul Reaper from Soul Society. I knew who he was; he served under Tousen while he was still a captain. Now that I thought about it, I really knew nothing about Skyler before she came here. I know that she was involved with Gin at one point and she was made captain of their squad when he left- but what was her life like? What was she like? What happened to her after he left? She must have been devastated. It didn't matter anyway; I had to keep myself isolated from her at all costs. I didn't recognize the way she made me feel- and that made me vulnerable.

I headed back to my own room while contemplating my thoughts. I never knew she had a log, Aizen-sama had them in our drawers waiting for us when we first got recruited, but her room wasn't even ready yet when she got here. The color of her book was tan, while ours were black. Did she already carry one with her? That must be something we shared in common- writing is what keeps us sane.

I entered through my door after keying in, and decided I would write something in my own log book. I needed to express the way she made me feel- it was unreal, like souls. Souls do not exist though they are spoken of like they are an object you can hold in your hand. It was the same with the heart, though I could feel my own faintly beating.

The drawer opened smoothly and silently as I dug to the bottom in search of my book. I vicariously placed it on the very bottom under a plank of wood that looked as if it was the bottom- a clever plan, if I may say so myself. I pulled up the piece of wood and the bottom of the drawer was…empty?

"What the hell?" I yelled to myself. I tore the drawer out and started digging through it almost destroying it. I moved onto any other drawers in the room and had no luck. I moved to the bed, the dresser, the small closet, and even the small bathroom I had. It was nowhere to be found! The last place I actually took it with me was out of the room and into the dining hall. It had to be there!

I sprinted out of the room and down to the hall. I burst through the doors and started searching frantically. After ten minutes of no luck, I started flipping tables and chairs in a desperate frenzy.

"Uh what are you doing?" I heard a voice behind me. I whirled around to see Halibell sitting on one of the overturned tables with her eyebrow raised.

"I'm searching for something." I said while getting on my hands and knees to look on the ground at a lower level.

"What'ya searchin' for?" she asked while getting down to my level.

"A book." I replied while crawling.

"A black book?" she asked. I shot up and looked at her.

"Yes, have you seen it?" I asked her. She looked in different directions as if looking for escape, then replied.

"I saw it yesterday. It was sitting on one of these tables; I thought nothing of it so I left it there. Is it important? If it was I'm really sorry!" she said while clapping her hands together.

"It's fine." I replied icily while turning my back to her. I shuffled out of the room and back to my own. This was not good- all of my personal thoughts and feelings were bound to that book…some which should never be read. It could personally damage me…forever.