A/N: Wow, you guys are so amazing. You sure know how to make a girl feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

If you like it, let me know by reviewing!! I didn't hit my goal for the last chapter so maybe, just maybe you guys can make it happen for this one. The more you review, the faster I write. :)

Again, a big thanks goes to Artee of Artee and Sporky for being an awesome Beta who gives up homework to read my stuff.

Longish A/N at the end.

EPOV

"I used her, Alice. I used her in the worst possible way. She had feelings for me, and I just… ugh…" I tried to explain the whole situation to Alice in the short ride from the diner to the house she shared with Bella. She just listened intently, nodding every so often to show that she wanted me to continue whenever I would find myself at a loss for words.

"Let me make sure I've got everything straight. You met this Kayla girl and she was just kind of like your hookup for a while. She wanted more from you but you weren't interested, right?"

"Yes," I said, feeling ashamed. "I threw her away like she was trash, without even a second thought. I've wanted to tell Bella, I've tried to tell her… what happened and that I'm not that guy anymore. But I wouldn't be able to stand it if she knew what I did, how I treated Kayla, and hated me for it."

"Okay Edward, you feel really bad about your past, I get all that. What exactly does that have to do with what just happened back there?" Alice's face was drawn and I was certain she was reserving her judgment until I was completely finished spilling my guts.

"I broke it off with her months ago but she wouldn't hear any of it. She wouldn't leave me alone, and went all stalker on me! No matter how many times I told her it was over, she never gave up. Shit, I moved here just to get away from her! But then one day it just stopped; the phone calls, the emails, the texts. Just as if they'd never happened at all. I thought she'd finally gotten the message but this morning…."

"Was this before or after you and Bella slept together?" she broke in.

I groaned. Of course she already knows about that.

"After. I asked Bella to check my phone for me, and Kayla texted me just… out of the blue. Saying some shit about her bed feeling empty without me or something! I knew she thought something was up, and then she must have overheard me on the phone with my mother; telling her that I loved her, and how much I wanted her to come visit. I guess she must have thought I was talking to Kayla." I couldn't keep the anger from rising in my voice at this point. I was angry and I think I had every right to be. Everybody makes mistakes, right? Why was I doomed to be punished for mine for the rest of my life? As if having to deal with Kayla's fanatical behavior wasn't enough castigation, now I was going to loose Bella too? I slammed my hands into the steering wheel with all the force I could muster and let every profane word I knew fly out of my mouth in rapid succession.

"Are you done?" Alice asked, gently with a slight air of amusement.

"Why aren't you screaming at me for being a jerk to your best friend?" I snarled, but quickly recomposed myself. Alice didn't deserve to be the object of my fury.

"Because you haven't been a jerk to Bella. We all have pasts, Edward, including you. You can't go back and change what you did, but you can man up and deal with it. This chick is crazy, we've established that. So what? There isn't much you can do about it from here, so for right now you need to focus on the things that you can do something about -- particularly Bella. I've known her for a really long time and I can tell you for a fact that she's not one to easily change her mind once it's been made up. That doesn't mean that it's impossible though," she added quickly, noticing the look of defeat on my face.

"Of all the people I've known in my life Bella is the most cautious, the most rational. She's always the one who thinks things through, considers every option before making a decision. That's just who she is. But ever since she met you, all that just went out the window. I've never seen her jump head first like this into anything, ever! She took a chance on you, Edward and now she thinks that that decision has come back to bite her. You're going to have to show her that what you did, who you were, isn't who you are now. You have to show her that everything she thinks she knows about what's going on between you and Kayla is wrong. You have to make her understand that you, or rather that the two of you, are worth taking a chance on. You do want that, don't you?" She cocked an eyebrow and stared fixedly into my eyes.

"Yes," I said meekly.

"What?" she pressed, goading me on.

"Yes!" I almost shouted back. "Yes, Alice I want her to take a chance on me! I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life!" My chest rose and fell with my ragged breathing. My hands trembled and my voice cracked uncomfortably.

Finally I let out a sigh, "I don't know why, but I just… I need her, Alice. I need to be with her. It's like all this time, I thought I was whole but then I met her and I realized that there was always a part of me that was missing." I pulled the car to a stop in front of Alice's house and stared unseeing up at Bella's second floor bedroom window.

"The solution is simple. Tell her everything, Edward. Spare no details. She needs to fully understand the situation and the person you were before you met her. She won't be able to fully appreciate where you're going until she knows where you've been. Andif you love her, and I think that you do; make her believe it because right now… right now I'm sure she thinks that you just said it to get into her pants. If I know Bella, and I'm pretty sure that I know her better than anyone else, I'd say she's probably more upset with herself than she is with you." She took my hand between her tiny ones and squeezed.

"Its going to be okay, I promise. You just have to be willing to work at it a little." She gave me a reassuring smile. "Besides, you've got the master here to help." She made a gesture like a curtsy from the passenger seat.

"You're going to help me? Why? Aren't you going to take Bella's side?" I asked with an air of skepticism.

She let out a loud, bell like laugh. "Honey, I am on Bella's side. She wants you just as much as you want her, she just needs a little nudge, is all." She patted my knee and bounced out of the car. I heard the back door open and slam shut and was startled; I'd completely forgotten Jasper had been in the car listening the entire time.

I slid the car into reverse and then heard a loud knocking on my window. I rolled it down to see Alice bent down with her face close to the glass, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"We're still going to the beach tomorrow, by the way." Her wicked grin grew an extra few inches.

"I'm not so sure I'm going to be up for celebrating after all this," I practically whined.

"Just be here by 9, okay. Trust me." She kissed me quickly on the cheek and dragged Jasper up the front steps and into the house.

BPOV

I couldn't stop the tears from coming. They fell incessantly during the ride back to my house. Thankfully, Rose knew me well enough not to ask what was wrong while I was still so upset and frankly, crying girls scared the crap out of Emmett so he stayed quiet as well.

Thankfully again, we arrived back at the house before Edward, Alice, and Jasper did and I practically vaulted myself out of the backseat and up the front steps. Once I wrenched the door open, I took the stairs up to my room two at a time and flung myself down onto my bed. Normally the cozy comforter and soft pillows would have been consoling but as I buried my face deeper into the bedding to muffle my sobs I could smell him on everything. His delicious masculine scent had permeated every inch of my bed and I found absolutely no comfort in the little piece of himself that he'd left behind.

In a sudden burst of anger and sadness I hauled myself up to my feet and violently ripped the sheets and blankets from where they lay on the bed and threw them carelessly to the floor. Strangled screams and broken sobs ripped through my chest and reverberated through out my small bedroom as I pounded my fists feebly into the lifeless mattress. When I felt like I had nothing left, I sank to the floor with my back resting against my bedside table. My eyes stung after having run dry of tears and stared unseeing at a mass of white on the carpet in front of me. Slowly, the room came back into focus first the clean white walls and the soft beige carpet and then the mass of white laying in a clump just a few feet out of my reach. I recognized it as soon as I was able to see it clearly; it was the t-shirt,his shirt that I'd worn home from his apartment after our first night together.

I crawled to the crumpled fabric, clutched it in my trembling hands and pressed it to my face. It smelled like him, but it was different than the way my sheets had smelled. The sheets smelled like us, they smelled like what we'd experienced together, the passion between us. But the shirt just smelled like him, completely separate from me.

I needed the separation. It was the only way to wean myself off of what my subconscious craved so badly. If I could have this one thing,him, and keep it completely disconnected from the idea ofus then maybe, just maybe I could keep him in my life. I don't know why the idea of cutting him out completely hurt so much, but every time I thought about saying goodbye and telling him to take his gorgeous green eyes and go to hell it felt like someone had plunged a knife in my heart and was twisting mercilessly.

I held it to my nose for a long time just breathing him in, taking him into me one last time. I clumsily made my way to my now stripped bed and curled into a ball in the center, the shirt gently tucked into the crook of my neck. Silent tears flowed now, gliding effortlessly down my already flushed cheeks until they came to rest in the shirt that was rapidly soaking through. I closed my eyes to soothe their raw ache and quickly fell into a restless, and unneeded sleep.

\&\

Edward's strong arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, my cheek resting on his shoulder. He gently curled and uncurled strands of my hair around his long fingers, sending tingling sensations along my scalp and down my spine.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered softly, drawing his lips along the shell of my ear.
I ran my hands up the length of his arms and could feel every muscle of his defined appendages ripple and tighten under my touch. I continued my assent until my fingers met the impossibly soft hairs at the nape of his neck. I turned my face to look up into his sparkling emerald pools and smiled wistfully.

"I love you too, Edward," I sighed. He dipped his head lower and captured my lips in a kiss so passionate it was surely hot enough to melt steel. I felt my knees go weak and my body sagged against his but he didn't let me fall. He held me closer to his chest and deepened the kiss until my lungs were screaming for me to let them breathe. It was heaven, pure bliss to be able to feel every line and cut of his torso against me, to taste his warm, sweet tongue in my mouth, to hear the soft murmurs of pleasure that escaped his throat. I lost myself in the moment, falling head first into a dark unknown when I vaguely heard someone clear their throat from somewhere nearby.

My eyes fluttered open and I could see and feel Edward chuckling softly against my lips.
"Can I cut in?" a trilling soprano voice questioned. The voice was high, piercing, annoying.

"I've missed you so much, Kayla," Edward purred and shifted his gaze from me to the origination of the voice. I turned my head to see a faceless redhead standing to our left, her arms extended toward him. Without warning he withdrew his arms from around me and wrapped them around her.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear and she let out a piercing, child like laugh that made me grit my teeth.

I squeezed my eyes shut as her laughter continued and willed the image in front of me away. I could hear him whispering softly to her as her unremitting laugh grew louder and more like a shriek with every passing second.

"What is she doing?" he shrill voice asked.

"Hell if I know. I hardly know her," his velvety voice stated matter-of-factly.

I opened my mouth to cry out in pain, anger, and frustration but nothing came out. I opened my eyes to find myself lying in the fetal position on my bed with a sweat dampened brow.

"Just a dream…Just a dream…Just a dream…" I chanted under my breath as I concentrated on regaining control my racing heartbeat.

I rolled off of the bed and trudged downstairs. Alice and Rose were sitting at the kitchen table talking in hushed voices. They ceased their conversation and turned to look at me with concern filled eyes.

"Bella honey, are you alright?" Rose asked hesitantly.

I merely grunted my recognition and flung open the cabinet and began rummaging for my junk food of choice. All I wanted to do was veg out in front of the TV in my room and gorge myself on Doritos until I couldn't move and my fingers were permanently stained the color of nacho cheese; it was all I knew to do to try to forget the ache in my chest. I grabbed the bag of chips from the shelf and trumped back upstairs and into my room.

A few minutes later, my two best friends appeared at my door, Alice holding an arm full of sodas and Rose with several other bags of chips.

"Mind if we join you?" Alice asked quietly.

I half smiled and patted the bed beside me. The two of them smiled back and snuggled up next to me on my bare bed.

"Let's watch Lifetime, there's always something ridiculously girly on there," Rose suggested.

Alice used the remote to click on the TV and we started watching a made for TV movie already in progress while mindlessly munching on empty calories. The movie opened with a scene of a loving couple, a husband a wife with two small children going about their daily routine in their picture perfect lives; he, a renowned college professor and she a dutiful stay at home mom. On the surface their lives were all yacht clubs, cocktail parties, and declarations of love but, as the story unfolded it was revealed that the husband was leading a double life fraught with drugs, prostitutes, and under aged female students.

Hmpf…Double life.

I groaned and turned the TV off.

Rose took the remote from my hand and cast me a worryed look. "Bella, you have to tell us what's going on. We can't help if we don't know what the problem is."

"Can you make me not want Edward anymore?" I asked as fresh tears started to well up in my eyes. My friends exchanged knowing glances. "I didn't think so."

"Okay, spill it. Everything. You'll feel better if you get it all out. Start from the beginning." Alice instructed as she pulled me until I was sitting up.

"Fine," I huffed, and pulled my knees to my chest before launching into my story. "Last night, after we left the bar, we came back here and we just slept, nothing happened. But then this morning he…he told me that he cared about me and something just clicked in my brain; I wasn't afraid anymore and Iwanted him. So… one thing led to another and well, yeah…" I trailed off. I really didn't feel like rehashing all of the sordid details of our romp.

"But as he finished he told me he loved me."

"Hewhat?!" They both exclaimed.

"You heard me," I grumbled.

"Wow- I guess I was right about the 'L' word," Alice mumbled under her breath with a smirk.

I was mildly intrigued by her expression, but decided to continue on with the story while I still had the strength to do so.

"But he didn't realize he said it, at first. But we talked and he said that he really did mean it. Andof course I fell for it, and we… again…" I sighed at the memory of my own stupidity.

"Then while he was in the shower I went to check facebook, and I saw that he had all these messages from some girl named Kayla on his wall talking about how she was thinking about him while she was in the shower, and how things just weren't the same without him or some shit." I let the bitterness seep into my voice as I continued on. "I tried to let it go, but then he asked me to check his phone for him this morning when he got a text message and it was from her! I told him and he freaked out- snatched the phone from me and everything! And then after breakfast I heard him on the phone…" my voice cracked as a new wave of sobs bubbled in my chest. "He was planning on her coming to visit him here, and he told her he loved her." I buried my face in my hands.

"I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought he might actually be the one. God! And that's what makes this all so hard! If he were just any ol' guy, then it would be no big deal. But I…"

"You love him," Alice finished for me.

"Yes," I croaked. "I put myself out there, for the first time in my life just to have everything thrown back in my face!" I wanted to pull my hair out in aggravation and anger, but instead I just clamped my eyes shut and rubbed my balled up fists against my closed lids.

"Bella, have you talked to him about any of this?" Rose asked calmly.

"No. What's there to talk about?" I spat.

"Don't you think you might be jumping to conclusions, just a little bit?" Alice gave me a small, reassuring smile.

"What is there to jump to conclusions about? He obviously has something going on with this Kayla girl and now he wants her to visit. I think it's all pretty much in black and white, guys. I'm not going to just sit here and be lied to when he tells me he loves me!"

"Just to play devil's advocate a little bit here, but do you know if he ever responded to any of her messages or texts?" she questioned.

"No, but-"

"And do you think that it's at all possible that maybe he could have talking to someone else on the phone, like maybe his mom, or an aunt or something. And that's who might be coming to visit?"

"Well, I guess it's possible but-"

"I'm not taking any sides here, but don't you think that if there's even the tiniest chance that you could be wrong, don't you think you owe it to yourself to find out before you go accusing people of things like two-timing? You love him, Bella, and if you throw that away over some stupid miscommunication then you'll always be left wondering 'what if'."

I didn't say anything for a while and just thought. Was it possible that I could have misunderstood everything? Was it possible that I had gotten everything wrong? Maybe I didn't have it exactly right but the messages were definitely there, I hadn't imagined those, and the text message was something he didn't want me to see. If I had nothing to worry about, then why was he hiding it from me?

Alice ran her hand soothingly down my back. "Honey, you just need to talk to him. If you come to find out that you were right, fine. We'll all just accept that he's an asshole and be done with it. But until then, he's our friend too and we're not going to just abandon him; especially when he has no one else. You know how Jazz and Em don't like be outnumbered by us girls and Edward's addition has finally evened things up. They are not going to want to give him up unless it's for a really good reason."

I sighed again because I could understand her point. It wasn't fair of me to just kick Edward out of our group now that everyone seemed to be so fond of him.

"I think after a nice relaxing day at the beach, you'll have your head on straight and you two can get through this mess," she went on.

"No Al, I amnot going to the beach tomorrow. I can't spend the whole day with him, not after this!" I practically shouted, suddenly frantic.

"Yes you are. And nobody is saying that you have to spend every second with him. We can do our thing and the boys can do theirs. Please, Bella." She pushed out her bottom lip into a ridiculously exaggerated pout that resembled a cartoon puppy.

Just then my phone rang from where it lay on my desk.

"Answer it, will you? I don't want to talk to anybody right now."

Alice snatched up the phone and flipped it open.

"Hello?" she asked in her sunniest voice. "No, this is Alice, her roommate. I can give her a message for you. Uh huh… Great! I'll tell her. Thanks a lot." She snapped the phone shut and grinned at me.

"That was the body shop. They said your car's finally ready. See? Now you have to come to the beach! A road trip is exactly what you need."

I sighed. My car, my baby that I loved just as much, if not more than, my motorcycle, was finally going to be mine again. Honestly, the thought of driving down the winding coastal roads with the top down and the music blaring did sound rather appealing.

"Fine," I said quietly.

"That's our girl," Rose laughed.

That's so Alice, playing both sides.

Musical inspiration for this chapter is If You Could Only See by Tonic

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how brown her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

(Just curious, does anyone actually listen to the playlist?)

Review Review Review. I'll love you forever!

I posted an incomplete story called Just the Way I'd Imagined it which is my version of Breaking Dawn, check that out!

I'm currently working on a lemony one shot for Jayeliwood's sexy Edward contest, so be on the look out for that too.