Chapter 12

Mal gently laid Inara's body on the ground and hurried over to his wife. She was still curled into a ball with her knees pulled up against her chest. Her hands were curled into balls so tightly that Mal could see small trickles of blood leaking out between her fingers.

"River? You here bao-bei?" Mal asked as he approached her slowly.

River nodded but didn't raise her head to look at him.

Mal lowered himself to the floor next to her, wincing at the various injuries she'd given him in the last few minutes. He put an arm around River's shoulders and pulled her to him. She collapsed against his side and cried silently against him.

"Weren't yer fault love." He whispered.

She nodded again but still refused to look at him or speak.

"I gotta go check on yer brother. You gonna be ok if I leave you here?" He asked.

She nodded again and pulled herself away so that he could stand up.

To Mal's relief Simon was breathing and he had a strong steady pulse. When Mal turned him onto his back he saw a large lump rising on Simon's head and a huge bruise beginning to darken his cheek and temple.

"Hey Doc? Can ya hear me?" Mal asked and tapped the side of Simon's face lightly.

Simon groaned and moved away from Mal's hand. His eyes snapped open suddenly and he sat up.

"River is she…" He asked frantically.

"She's alright." Mal interrupted.

Simon let out a sigh of relief and slumped back to the ground.

"What happened? How did you stop the trigger?" Simon asked after he had seen River sitting a few feet away, unhurt.

"I didn't stop it. She fired the gun and then hit the ground." He informed the doctor. "Simon, she shot Inara." He added.

Simon looked around in confusion and his eyes widened when he saw Inara's body on the ground. He sat up again and began to stand up.

"Ain't no use Doc. She's gone." Mal explained.

Simon's face displayed a strange mixture of relief and sadness combined, which Mal guessed was evident on his own face as well.

"We need to get you to the infirmary and stitch that up." Simon said and pointed to the nasty cut Mal had received when he'd gone through the window.

"No you should check on River first. The way she was fightin the trigger couldn't a done her or the babies any good." Mal objected.

Simon nodded and pulled himself painfully to his feet. Mal picked up River and carried her to the infirmary. Simon followed after checking Inara's body to see for himself that she was truly gone.

"I don't think there's any permanent damage, but your blood pressure is elevated. You're going to need to take it easy for the next few days, just to give your body a chance to recuperate." Simon instructed after giving River a quick exam.

"I'm sorry Simon." River apologized and reached up to gently touch the large bruise forming along the side of his face.

"Not your fault mei-mei. None of this is your fault." Simon returned.

"Yer brother's right. This ain't yer fault." Mal added.

They were interrupted by a shriek coming from the cargo bay.

Kaylee ran into the infirmary only a second later and looked at the three of them in shock.

"What happened? Inara's hurt." Kaylee blurted.

"We know bao-bei." Simon told her and pulled her into an embrace.

"You gotta get down there and help her Simon." Kaylee protested and pulled away from her husband.

"Bao-bei there isn't anything I can do for her. She's gone."

Kaylee swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "Are you sure?"

"She's gone mei-mei. I'm sorry I know she was yer friend." Mal comforted sadly and placed a kiss on top of Kaylee's head.

"Cap'n yer hurt." She said suddenly.

"Ain't nothin but a scratch."

"What happened? Who did this?" Kaylee asked. She looked around in confusion for the person who had hurt her family.

"It was me." River whispered without looking up at her friend.

"You? But River you wouldn't do this." Kaylee protested.

"Inara triggered her. Something they must have put in her head when we were at the Academy." Mal added.

"Oh River. This ain't yer fault." Kaylee said immediately and climbed up on the table to gather her friend into her arms.

River nodded and buried her face into Kaylee's shoulder. Mal was relieved to see that Kaylee could offer River a measure of comfort and didn't judge her for what she had done.

"Kaylee can you take River ta our bunk and then track down Jayne and Zoe for me?" Mal asked.

Kaylee nodded and pulled River up from the exam table and threw an arm around her shoulders to lead her out of the room. Once the women had left the room Mal sank onto the exam table and allowed all of the aches and pains he had to show. While Simon cleaned and stitched the cut in his arm Jayne and Zoe returned. After Mal had explained what had happened they set about moving Inara's body from the cargo bay and cleaning up the blood stains.

"Sir do we have any plans for the body? Should we take her back to the training house?" Zoe asked after she and Jayne had finished in the cargo bay.

"No we'll bury her here. She was in that place for quite awhile so I'm guessin the Alliance made somethin up to tell the training house. Best they keep believing whatever tale the Alliance spun and leave it at that. Ain't no reason they need to know we were involved with her death." Mal replied.

Zoe nodded having expected him to make this decision. Once Simon finished treating Mal he left to find Kaylee and meet Jayne's family. Mal wandered the ship trying hard to absorb the events that had happened in the last hour. Eventually he found himself outside his bunk and climbed down to check on his wife. River lay facing the wall and didn't move when Mal climbed onto the bed beside her. When Mal reached out a hand and ran it down her arm River stiffened and moved even closer to the wall.

"Hey bao-bei what's the matter? You still beaten yerself up bout what happened." Mal asked with concern.

"No I realized what occurred was not my fault." River answered.

"Then what is it?" He asked confused.

"You said you loved her. Were you in love with her still? After all this time?" River asked, her voice quavering with fear and unshed tears.

Mal grabbed her shoulder and forced her to turn over so that he could look into her face.

"No bao-bei I wasn't in love with her. Not even close. But she was dyin and she sacrificed herself for me. I learned a long time ago that when someone's about to leave this life you say whatever you have to to give em some comfort. Don't matter if it's the biggest gorram lie in the Verse, if it makes it easier for them to let go then ya say it." Mal explained.

River nodded but still looked unconvinced.

"Look Inara did terrible things to us, to you especially. But she also did alotta good for us too. She was the one who gave me the courage to be with you in the first place and she stood by us after Miranda. I wasn't comforting her because a who she turned out to be, I was honoring the person she once was." Mal continued.

"I understand, just hurt to hear you say that to another woman, especially her." River whispered.

"I'm sorry it hurt ya. That's the last thing in the Verse I ever want to do." Mal said and leaned down to kiss River.

River pulled away and looked intently into Mal's eyes.

"I'm glad you were able to make her last moments easier. You are a good man Malcolm Reynolds." She whispered and gazed at him lovingly.

"You ain't so bad yerself River Reynolds. Now you need ta get some sleep, Doctor's orders remember?" Mal instructed and pulled the blanket over River.

River pouted for a second but complied and shut her eyes.

"Night bao-bei. Just so ya know you're the only woman I love in this Verse or any other. And you're the only one I ever wanna love." Mal whispered into her ear, making her smile brightly as she drifted off to sleep.

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"Hey ai-ren. You meet Jayne's folks yet?" Kaylee asked as she wrapped an arm around Simon's waist and nestled her head between his shoulder blades.

"Yes I just did. It's strange. They're so… normal. Just a regular family. I thought they'd be more… Jayne like." Simon muttered.

Kaylee laughed lightly and Simon's heart sped up like it always did when she laughed.

"They are really nice. Jayne's ma is so warm and carin. She makes me think a my ma. I like em." Kaylee added.

"I like them too." Simon agreed and turned so that he could hold Kaylee tightly. He could feel her worry for him strongly.

"I'm alright Kaylee. You don't have to worry." He assured her.

"I know you're alright, but still ain't gonna stop me from worryin about ya. You're my husband it's my job to fret over ya." She insisted. "You hungry ai-ren? Whatever Jayne's ma cooked for lunch smells awful good."

Simon smiled at the idea of real food and pulled Kaylee into the house quickly. After they had eaten more than their fill of actual food Kaylee kindly made up two plates and brought them to Serenity for Mal and River. Mal gratefully accepted the food and reassured Kaylee that River was doing alright.

"Bao-bei you wanna wake up and eat? Real food. Not a protein pack in sight." Mal whispered happily.

River's eyes opened slowly and she gave Mal a sleepy smile. She sat up suddenly, the smile dropping from her face in an instant. Mal thought that perhaps she was going to cry again, but she instead jumped from the bed and ran to the toilet and began to heave into it. For a second Mal was panicked as to what might be wrong with his wife, it then occurred to him that throwing up was part of the whole pregnancy thing. He hurriedly put the two plates of food into the hall and moved to hold River's hair back as she continued to wretch. Once she had finished she leaned back against the wall, her face wan and sweaty. Mal handed her a glass of water and a cool cloth, she accepted both gladly.

"See its stuff like this makes me glad it's the women folk who gotta have the babies." Mal joked.

River gave him a seething glare that told him his joke was not in the least bit funny.

"You think you wanna try eating or should I leave that food out for Jayne?" Mal asked trying to change the subject away from anything else that might get him in trouble.

"I'm starving now. Real food sounds wonderful." River replied eagerly.

They ate in comfortable silence, both lost in thoughts of the events of the day.

"It was my mother." River said abruptly.

"Huh?"

"My mother was the one who imbedded the trigger in me and in Inara." River said quietly.

"Inara was triggered too?" Mal asked confused.

"Yes it was my mother's revenge. You triggered Inara." River answered making Mal even more confused.

"I triggered her? How in the ruttin Verse did I do that?"

"You said 'I love you River' that was the trigger."

"How do you know me sayin I love ya triggered Inara?" He asked.

"Because I know Reagan Tam and it was the perfect revenge. If your programming had remained and you'd continued to hate me, you never would have said I love you. She set us up so that if your programming was ever broken and we were together once again I would be triggered to kill you." River explained.

"That seems awfully damn complicated. Are you sure that's what happened?" Mal asked.

"Yes I'm sure. I know because of what Inara said to trigger me."

"What'd she say. I ain't never heard that language before." Mal replied.

"It was Italian. A dead language from Earth that was. It meant star crossed lovers. A line from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet."

Mal gave her a confused look of frustration.

"Romeo and Juliet is often said to be the most tragic love story of all time. Two lovers who defy their families to be together. They both commit suicide in the end. My mother read it to me when I was six."

"Your ma read ya somethin like that when you was six?" Mal asked amazed and slightly horrified.

"Yes, we were only allowed classic literature."

"So your ma put it in Inara's head to be triggered if she heard me tell you I loved you. And then she triggered you with that Shakespeare stuff to kill me?" Mal asked hoping he understood.

"Correct, unnecessarily complicated, but it is exactly the kind of thing my mother would enjoy." River confirmed sadly.

Mal rubbed his temples and tried to ignore the headache that was building at the base of his skull.

"Will we bury her today?" River asked suddenly changing the subject.

"Yes. Jayne and Simon are digging the grave now. How you doing with all this?" Mal asked.

River tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes. Mal wasn't sure who she was reading but he allowed her the time to do what she needed to do.

"No one on the ship blames me. I thought they would." She said after a minute.

"They know it ain't your fault, love. Every one of em saw just how bad that place could be. Hell I tried to kill ya'll for two weeks and they didn't hate me." Mal pointed out.

"Good point." River agreed.

"So you wanna get off this boat for a bit? Get some fresh air and meet Jayne's folks?" Mal asked and held out a hand to help River up from the bed.

They spent the rest of the day with Jayne's family. Mal and River were as surprised as the rest of the crew to find that Jayne's family was warm and inviting, so very unlike how Jayne had been for most of the time they'd known him. Being on planet and with such kind people was the antidote they'd all needed from the events of the past month.

They buried Inara at sunset under a large oak tree that stood at the end of the Cobb property. Jayne's father said a few prayers over the grave, but no one on the crew said much of anything. All of them felt the same mixture of relief and regret that Simon and Mal had both felt after she'd been killed. No one was quite sure if they should grieve for her or how to do it.

Mal was surprised when River chose to stay behind when everyone returned to the house. He stood on the porch and watched as River sat at the foot of the grave for nearly an hour. It seemed that she talked some of the time, but mostly she sat in silence and stared off into the wilderness.

When she returned to the house she was smiling, although Mal could tell she'd also been crying.

"What were you doin out there for so long bao-bei?" He asked unable to quell is curiosity.

River looked once more towards the grave and smiled sadly.

"I was forgiving her. And asking her for forgiveness too." She whispered.

"What would you ever need her forgiveness for?" He asked.

"She loved you very much. I stole that away from her and I hope wherever she is she can forgive me for that." River answered.

Mal was once again amazed by the understanding and love his wife could show for people. Even for those that didn't deserve it. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her so that they could stare out at the last light of the sunset together.

"You're amazing River, ya know that?" He whispered into her ear.

"So I've been told." River replied with a smirk. "But I like to hear it from you." She added with a smile.

"I think its time Mal." She told him suddenly.

"Time for what bao-bei?" He asked.

"Time to shut down the Academy and stop my mother. Forever." River answered with determination.