CHAPTER 6 - GIRLS IN THE BATTLEFIELD


"Onee-chan… Wake up, onee-chan!" I felt the small arms grab my face and kiss me on the lips, before the small blonde girl was dragged away by a group of black wearing people. "Onee-chan, wake up and save mee!"

"What the!?" I shouted as I woke up, completely forgetting just where I fell asleep.

Onii-chan jumped awake as if he was never asleep, his curved swords appearing in his hands so fast that I never saw the menu appear.

"What? When?" He looked around and then seeing no danger settled his eyes on me.

"Ah, it was a dream?" I offered lamely. He just sighed and sat again on the pillow bed.

… Only to shot back immediately. "Erm, What are you doing here?"

"Sleeping with you onii-chan!" I replied. Really, he was an idiot if I need to answer such things!

"Not you." So he is ok- "And that doesn't mean I accept it either." Dammit.

I followed his eyes until I settled in the face of Argo the Rat. I was about to speak but onii-chan raised a hand for me to stop.

"It looked comfortable so I decided to join." She shrugged his hard stare off like it was the most natural thing in the world. "What's the matter, you sleep with, like a dozen girls…"

"Haven't we discussed this before? They're NPCs, and they refuse to go away."

"Of course we won't leave, Shirou-sama is just too handsome!" One of them just latched on Onii-chan again.

"Yuki is not." Argo shot back.

"She is my sister!" He sighed.

"She asked you to make her a woman!" Pity I don't know how to convince him into turning his ethic codes off…

"Like I'd let her!" I giggle. You don't have a say in this, I just have to push you far enough.

I got back to bed and snuggled to one of the girls who didn't got up, trying to sleep again. Maybe these nightmares will simply stop on its own…

"Why couldn't I have dreamed of the cute boy on the park again?"


… A few hours later, 36th floor Main Dungeon

"Come on! …more Monkeys?" Yuki looked at the group of opponents that ambushed us.

I jumped in front of the nearest, activating the -Diving Crash- at the nearest head. Shirou slid low by my left, drawing his one handed sword and activating a -Rage Spike- on another one, while Asuna was forced to evade a heavy mace strike from one of them. Seizing the opening, I bashed my recently acquired shield in the attacker, and stood back to back with Shirou, both of us launching sweeping skills to the sides, destroying the second one who jumped at the opening.

The one further away from us threw his weapon away, as we finished destroying the other ones. "It's going berserk! Watch out!"

We brought our shields in formation, stooping the first charge at the cost of a few slivers of HP, and four skill strikes again it was dead too.


I heard the sounds of a battle, and then the cheering of victory, but what really drew my attention was that the voices were feminine. I mean what were the odds…

Operating the menu quickly, I peeked through the corner, and only my well trained reflexes saved me from a strike on the eyes. My trusted spear met a blade, and I forced both weapons down to the floor.

"Ow, ow, ow! Don't kill me please." I suppressed the urge to blush when my eyes confirmed who it was and how close the defensive movement made him to me.

"Sorry." Shirou scratched the back of his neck. "Is just that these monkeys…"

"Make ambushes every corner…" I blushed a bit more. "Yeah, sorry-"

"Hey, aren't you that spear master from the last boss fights?" Yuki was near me in a flash. "That was kinda cool." I smiled warmly at the compliment, "What are you doing here?" but frowned at the following question.

"Exploring, Leveling, the usual…" I trailed off.

I didn't want to part ways, but there wasn't a reason for us to party together. Unless…"Wanna see something cool?" I called them to follow.

Two turns later, we found ourselves facing the characteristic door of a boss room. "I found the boss room when I was exploring earlier. I was afraid to try and see it by myself, but since you guys are here, don't you want to help me scout?" Shirou nodded almost immediately making my heart leap in hope, and Asuna seemed to agree with him. The other girl also agreed, and we took a few moments to rest before Yuki pushed the doors open by herself. Just how high her STR attribute is?!

The room was wider and higher than the usual, but not completely clean as it was the norm. Some ruins marked the place, in the same oriental style the rest of the floor, while a giant, but clearly more limber monkey jumped in one of the taller pillars, making a show of drumming his chest like a gorilla would.

- The Monkey Monk King - It read in its cursor. It had a staff as long as he was tall, and some sort of armored robe, clearly inspired in Buddhist culture, some twisted parody of Sun Wukong from the journey to the west romances… But I better pay attention now it finished showing off.


The attack pattern was simple, but highly efficient. A sweeping attack that hit everything in a 180 degrees semicircle in front of it, then a series of precise strikes aimed at the nearest players. A sound-based debuff, and a charge to the most static player. If it was being pressed, it used a staff skill that stunned the target for a second and jumped back, and if detected a skill being charged it responded with a skill stopping skill. If given too much time, he unleashed a combo on the lowest HP in the room.

We retreated just one or two strikes short of putting it into his last HP bar, Asuna and Lizbeth on the yellow zone. "Damn, he was though."

"But it was a good workout. And we even got some data to a future scouting group…" Our impromptu ally sighed in satisfaction stretching her arms up. I nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't really help, you know?" Asuna noted dully. "A bath do wonders though."

"Yeah, but is difficult to find comfortable baths with privacy." She shrugged.

"I know, right!" Yuki took the girl's hand in her own. "The really big ones are public and that mean a lot of boys devouring you with their eyes…"

Sensing the way this conversation was going, I sighed and walked away. "I'm clearing the path." Why do I have to be the only boy in the guild? Kirito, why did you left me behind?


I punched the pillow enough that instead of a flashing message I could use it as a purple lamp for a while...

"Why does he have to be so handsome and nice!? He didn't even look at me like I was a woman! And I was wearing my best dress!" I dished another flurry of attacks, the purple stream of light keeping for half a minute after I finished. "What would it take for him to notice me!? Stripping up in front of him!? Se-sleeping with him?!" My face warmed up at the thought of his chiseled body cuddling mine in a loving fashion...

Wait! That last idea might have some merit, if I tone it down somewhat...


We opened the door and scattered in the boss room. Our numbers were even greater than the last fights, with two parties from that ninja guild, and we were stocked to the brim with potions and crystals. We had the advantage. We had a plan.

But everyone knows about how that saying goes…

I was partnered with Yuki, our duo a strange dissonance of a tanker with two blades and a Shield-bearing DPS. We made a few hit-and-run strikes, with me acting as a decoy, while Yuki activated her most powerful skills, other groups doing the same in rapid succession.

Every time the boss dashed, a tanker parried the strike to keep one of the more fragile players from being hit, and with that strategy, we had lowered the Monkey King's health to a half.

Then someone made a slip.

It was a small thing, really ridiculous in the grand scheme. The 'nail of the horse's shoe' so to speak.

A player tripped on the scenery debris when backing down, his life on the yellow. The boss responded as predicted, unleashing his stun skill on the guy, and his partner, a heavily-armored tanker named Klaus, if I remember correctly, parried the hit. Heathcliff dashed at the same time as Chihiro, the former bashing the boss weapon with his shield, the latter unleashing a blindingly fast combo that took a quarter of the current HP bar from the boss.

Either we or the other scouting party never dared to cause that much damage at once during the scouting battles, so the retaliatory strike took all of us by surprise.

Chihiro was kicked to the floor, under stun, and Heathcliff and others were hit by the area strike and pushed back.

I was moving before the second strike came, a downward smash skill type, and taking note of my options, I choose the path with the most chance of survival for the girl:

I threw myself in the way. Not blindly, of course (that would be stupid). My two scimitars were thrown, both taking sizable chips of the monster's health but still failing to cancel the strike, and my shield was used to try and parry the ominous black cloaked weapon.

In this game, the heavier the weapon, the greater the chance it had to push through defenses, and I had already felt the weight of those strikes before. I had no chance to stay unscathed begin with.

The first strike smashed me to the ground, the second pushed my health into the yellow.

The third took half of my remaining life, but it was also the last one: a black clad form holding of the boss' staff and stopping the remaining attacks.

Let it be said that my sister was a person that could be quite hard headed, and she decided since the beginning of the game to make 'a beautiful, strong knight clad in black' in her own words. She succeeded in both strength and color of choice I can say for sure. At the cost of all her attribute points, I must note.

Every single one allocated under strength.


Takami held her breath as if it would make things better. Not only her son jumped at the chance of defending yet another girl (he should be satisfied by now, shouldn't he?) but her daughter actually pushed herself beyond the limits of the Nervegear, risking her life for her brother.

And she was stuck outside, seeing her daughter holding a staff as thick as she was with her bare hands, and many other players launching their more powerful attacks on the boss.

The creature stumbled back under the fierce assault, and Yukari smashed its head with its own weapon, stumbling and falling at Minato's side in the process.

It was over.


I looked at the face of my savior, scant centimeters of my own, that fire back in his eyes.

I kissed him.

It didn't occur to me at the time, that it would trigger harassment alerts, or that we were in public. I didn't hear the surprised gasps, and it took a while to even notice the loud catcalls.

Then hell broke loose.

We stood up, I could barely look at his face, and turned to run away. As I was pushing my way through the crowd, some sort of commotion started, and someone threw a blade at me, that I barely evaded, thanks to Shirou tackling me to the floor.

Who was attacking me, and more importantly: Why?

There were people panicking around, which made even more difficult to locate the mysterious attacker, and another spear traced the air and took a chunk of my life.

Yet another commotion was surging at my left, and I could hear that Yuki's voice shouting at some guy in the ninja outfit. Heathcliff banged his shield calling for attention, but the attacks made the panic too intense.

Then I heard a scream of terror, and looking at the source, I saw the splash of polygons of a player dying.

"She killed another one!" One player teleported away in panic, and two of the ninja characters advanced on me, Shirou standing by my side with his two weapons at ready.

"Quiet Everyone! She can't be the killer!" Another voice shouted.

"But she is the only Orange!" Someone barked back, flinching when I looked at him.

"Who is it then?!"

"If you want her, you'll have to fight me!" Asuna-san was by Shirou's side, and the other Avalon Knights soon followed her. The black swordsman also took our side, standing in front of my savior, his sword raised.

"How low would you cheaters fall?! Are you defending orange players now!?" Someone called from the mob.

"She is only orange because she kissed Shirou!" The pink haired mace wielder, Lizbeth, shouted in my defense.

One of the players attacked Yuki, who was still unarmed from her earlier stunt. I tried to push her out of the way, but she simply took the hit.

Then she struck back. She delivered low level -Dragon Punch- skill, throwing the stunned player in a nearby wall, and then she shouted: "What, aren't you attacking him? He is orange now! Look! Oh, maybe you only attack helpless damsels because you think them weak? No wonder onii-chan gets all the girls!" She stood defiantly, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Apparently the shock gave them enough pause that Heathcliff managed to assume the situation. "I believe this is quite enough! Two players, no two people died here today, from unknown causes, and this girl was almost lynched because she failed to control her passion. There was no way she could have killed them, for the simple reason her weapon is still there in the floor since the moment she was struck. So let's calm down and try to figure this out, shall we?"


Argo looked at me in complete disbelief once more. "You're saying someone killed two people and put the blame on her" She pointed at the distressed Chihiro, "Because she had forcefully kissed you and her cursor turned orange?"

"I didn't say forcefully."

"The point still stands, if you had kissed back or simply pushed the button 'No' under the ten second timer, she would have avoided this." Good to know. If simply kissing back could avoid these situations, I might want to return future advances. ...For completely practical reasons.

"I think that's the least of our concerns here." Heathcliff interrupted Argo's response. "This incident just proved that there is a killer among the clearers. And a very astute one."

"The Inquisitors."

"Huh?" The inquisitive noise escaped my throat.

"Two days ago, a guild by this name was registered, but no icon was selected." Argo started. "I can't say for sure, but I believe it's formed by the recent deserters from the ALF, and some of the runaways from the jailbreak months ago. In any case, it's our best lead."

"Wait! You think Kibaou was there!?" I nearly shouted. "We would recognize him if we saw his face!"

"How many people were wearing full armor?" She pressed forward. "Besides, it's possible to change hair details in game. A helmet and a new hairstyle and you'd miss him in the crowd, unless you were paying attention. Or it could have been someone else, a subordinate or accomplice."

Heathcliff nodded. "Why Chihiro though? I believe Shirou or the other knights were the most probable targets, right?"

I sighed. I knew the reason. "She gave them an opening. They were probably going to try and kill me in the middle of the chaos, and she would be blamed for it."

"Actually, according to Asuna, someone did try to kill you." The informant noted. "You took two hits when you tackled Chihiro to the ground, only your battle continuation prevented the worse. Don't you ever look at your health bar?" She gave me an annoyed look. Come on, I'm not that bad.

"That's it." Heathcliff shook his head. "I believe you guys shouldn't go out there alone, and you are not going to participate in any boss raids until this situation gets straightened back." He frowned. "I'm assigning a team of my own guild members to try and find these 'Inquisitors' and we're going to clean this mess."

"Heathcliff-san?" He looked at me. "I think I might have a better idea…"


"So you're going to be bait?" The supreme commander of the Knights of Blood just raised an eyebrow at my idea.

"Not exactly, I'm just going to train by myself for the next days, and see if they try and attack me…"

"You're not going in there alone!" Asuna crossed her arms in defiance.

"Of course not. I'm not stupid. I was going to ask Argo to track me and I'd open a gate crystal to get reinforcements once they attack."

"Sounds like a good plan." The Knight agreed.

"I'm going with you." Another voice called from my back.

"Chihiro-san? Are you sure this is a good Idea? I'll have to force myself to open holes in my style on purpose, and I already throw my weapons away-"

"I can throw my spear too, if that makes you happy. And is not fair you assume all responsibility for the mess I put you into." The frustrated look in her face told me this wasn't up to discussion.

"Yeah, why would you kiss onii-chan out of the blue?" Yuki, on the other hand seemed to be taking sadistic glee in twisting the knife further.

"Uhm, that's…" The look of hurt on her face made me glare at my sister, who seemed to take the hint and shut up.

"You like him too." It wasn't a question. Asuna then turned from the girl to me, looking quite cross. "What kind of magic you do that makes every girl who so much as look at you gets hopeless infatuated." I'd like to know, hoping I could reverse it. In any case, I'm sure is Zelrech's fault, somehow…

Lizbeth giggled. "Have you changed genders and forgot to tell us?" Apparently she took the chance to find amusement in teasing her friend. At least it lightened the mood.

"No, I actually had a crush on him when we first met. I got better though." I just shrugged, I had noticed a few looks, but she was discrete and I wasn't very sure.

"You can't get anyone better than Onii-chan!"

"Not even Kirito?" Argo sniped from her traditional spot and teacup.

"I'll get them both! And then we will-"

I shot Heathcliff a long suffering look at my sister's rant, and he winced in sympathy. Yes, I have to deal with this every day. Then he cleared his throat and spoke with all the authority of a real-life commander below his calm and collected tone: "Girls, let's focus on the situation at hand, please. Well Chihiro-san, what makes you think you're qualified to this assignment?" Was this guy part of a realarmy by any chance?

I choose that time to add my two cents: "And while your spear skills are formidable, suppose you throw it to fake an opening and they capitalize on it? What you would do unarmed?"

She smiled unfazed. "I have over 900 in -Martial Arts-, so I think I can manage."


I looked at the girl at my right and she smiled at me. I tried my best to smile back reassuringly, afterall we are in the best training areas of 38th floor by ourselves, amidst the jungle that literally dominated this floor. The predominant monster types here seem to be reptilian, and while the oversized lizards and snakes didn't seem to scare my companion, girls aren't supposed to like them much.

I decapitated another Python-like monster with some caution while my companion seemed to be a little irritated by the fact that she was dragged into one of the muddy pools that peppered this place. Despite the little HP loss, she seemed to be fine, if a little dirty. I took on the small twigs and leaves on her hair and clothes, and the way said clothes seemed to shrink on her person and I looked away.

She didn't seem mad, but I'm not risking getting on her bad side while we're trying to be ambushed.


"You know, this is boring!" Yuki shouted from a pile of pillows, throwing her hands up for effect. I covered my smile with tea, and Argo flashed me a smirk as if I was doing something inappropriate.

"Well, is not like every task is a battle where you gain fame under the risk of death." Heathcliff waited calmly. Other KoB members passed the time walking back and forth and enjoying the comforts of the Oasis.

"It's Shirou. He have been under the risk of death since floor One." Lizbeth snorted.

"I've have heard pretty disturbing stories, but weren't they all exaggerations? Surely he isn't that reckless. I mean, except from that stunt on the Monkey King and the 28th's boss, I only remember the fight against the dragon." The KoB leader raised one sensitive issue without knowing.

"The Kobold boss on floor one, the four armed golem, and that giant wasp on floor five. That I remember from the top of my head." Asuna listed unrelenting.

"You forgot that red Minotaur, if he had been a second slower I ducking, he wouldn't be here today." I added my two cents. Really, Shirou seems to chase death. "But in every case, he saved someone or provided a vital opening to defeat the boss. I guess even if we don't approve we have to admit he kind of know what he is doing." Really, if wasn't for him, I don't know where I'd be today, and surely I would be alone, wherever that would be.


I shook the dirt of my clothes as I got up. At least I don't feel pain. I remember mom's warnings about messing with dad's pets and what happened to that rat. I shiver. Well, if rolling around in the mud and getting wet is what makes him pay attention to me, I'm more than happy to dive in this one.

"So, you think there might be monster's in there?" He asked without looking my way.

"I don't know, but I sure need a dip, especially my hair." I stuck my spear on the ground and untie my ponytail. "Can you look out for me?"

His face seems to light up for a moment, and he nods seriously. "Sure thing. Enjoy your bath." I'll never know what he is thinking sometimes, while others he is almost… transparent.


She is more serious about this I had imagined. And this is quite a devious plan, all things considered. Who wouldn't think she is defenseless while bathing.

Still, doing it in underwear is quite a bit too much.

"Come here Shirou! The water is great!" She called me. Scanning the lake once more with my tracking, and finding nothing of note I decided to relax a bit. Maybe her idea has some merit. They could be waiting for me to drop my guard too, or they are simply not here. Either way, covered in grime and dirt as I am, it seems I'm also in dire need of some cleaning. I shrugged.

"Sure thing."


Argo chuckled again from her meditation position. "What the heck is so funny. Okay, can you hear me?" Yuki started to hound the spy master again, occasionally poking her from odd angles. Then the smaller girl tripped her to the floor, and resumed her concentration, a simple "Yes, I can." Being her only answer.

Then the -Black Valkyrie of Aincrad- sat by my side, and glared at my chuckling. "Not you too." She wined.

"Well, it is funny. Besides, you were asking for it."

Then Argo made a sour face, and I tensed. "It's time?"

"No." Came the short reply. "Nothing serious."

Lizbeth resumed her equipment repairing, Asuna was back to playing Chess against Heathcliff, and loosing soundly, and I was without anyone to talk except Yuki.

What wouldn't I give for some distraction right now…

And why can't Murphy work when we want him too?


I'm starting to think her appreciation of the bath have nothing to do with our trap. "Chihiro-san?"

"Just Chihiro is fine Shirou." She gave me another sweet smile, and my memory tingled as if trying to remember something.

"Aren't you a bit too comfortable wearing so little?"

"Not really, if is only you and me." She still blushed a bit.

I have to keep her from falling for me, but gently… "Look, I…" She chooses that moment to swim closer and embrace me, her cheeks even more red, and even mine reddening.

"I… Love you." She spoke and kissed me gain. I remembered to reciprocate this time, and she took her sweet time. As we parted she spoke, before I could. "Would you marry me?"

My mouth shut, and my mind locked up trying to formulate an answer. My senses weren't also helping, too focused on the closeness of our bodies and her very nice figure. Still, I was jolted from my reverie by a sound of something sharp cutting the air from above, and I pushed the lovestruck girl underwater.

An honest to god falcon almost pierced the water surface not a second later.

She made a show of throwing her hair back while surfacing and I had to appreciate the beauty of the scene as I swam to the shore.

Then the annoying bird dived again, clawing at her hair in unexplained rage, and she dived again, dragging the smaller creature with her. I sighed and kept lookout for both enemies and her health bar.


Argo twitched and squeezed her palms closed in rage, then she opened her eyes burning in rage.

"Is time?" I couldn't help but ask a bit faster than I should. Yuki is nice and cute, but she makes me too embarrassed with her disregard of personal space.

"No Ki-bou, but I'll have to go there personally. Lizbeth, come with me."


"Before you start breaking things, remember you're in a lab and this is the life support that keepsyour Chiho alive, not to mention my son." Takami warned from her desk, and Uzume froze.

"You're not actually considering it, are you?"

"Marrying them?" She stared at the distraught Linen Sekirei, who just nodded.

"If it works in there, I don't see why not. Chiho is a sweet girl, and Minato needs someone who care, not two mysterious girlfriends who don't seem to give a damn."

"But I love Chiho!" Uzume cried loudly.

"I'm sure Minato-kun wouldn't have a problem with that." Number 10 froze.

"So, you're saying… you're… OK with a threesome?"

"Foursome." I took my glasses off. Takami's surprised eyes met mine for a moment and she shrugged.

Then Uzume looked at me, then at the screen, then at me again. "Foursome then." I put my glasses back.

We giggled together, and Takami sighed. "I need a drink."

As Matsu's soon-to-be mother-in-law left, my future co-wife spoke again: "What if Argo or Lizbeth make a move?"

Matsu's thought about it for a moment than grinned. "Well, I'm sure between Matsu-tan, Uzume-chan, and Chiho-chan, Shirou-kun will see the joys of having a harem…"