Chapter 12
Alec let the music drown on his thought his way to the apartment. He made a conscious effort to keep from stepping on the accelerator coz of his… whatever he was feeling. The fact that the rain had calmed down helped. It seemed to empathise with him, dripping on the windshield maybe offering condolences. He reached his home and couldn't help the exhaustion that washed over. He sighed. His phone automatically working at calling Jace. He was shivering, he'd gotten wet while getting in so, his free hand was rubbing his arm to try to regain some warmth.
"Hello? Alec? Is everything okay?" Jace was probably sleeping. Of course, he was sleeping. It was barely 5 am.
"Jace, um- I- uh- you know what, go back to sleep, I'll- uh- I'll call you later," He stuttered.
"Nope, I'm awake now," He replied probably moving away from where Clary was sleeping too. Was he even thinking? "Yeah, what's up Alec?"
"I'm so sorry, it's- its 5 in the morning and I-"
"Hey, I know you wouldn't call if it wasn't important. So, tell me what's going on."
Alec huffed a laugh, "Well, it's not that important, just needed some… advice? Clarity? I just needed someone to talk to. And Izzy would be too in her own head to even listen more than the first sentence."
"Okay, what did you do? I'm so surprised to be on the giving end of this conversation for once, might I add. I get why you love it. It's got this very subtle edge." Count on Jace to joke at 5 am. "Right, so what did you do?"
Alec snorted. "Right, I kissed Magnus. And I don't-"
"You what?" He heard Jace catching his scream, probably realising the time. "You what?" he repeated, softer this time.
"I kissed Magnus," Alec sighed.
"About damn time."
"He didn't kiss me back. And I just bolted from his place."
"Oh. Okay…"
"And I was so stupid I didn't think about the fact that I work for him, or that he's a freaking tv sensation, or that I work for him."
"Why did you bolt?"
"Because I didn't want to see how he reacted. I mean, he didn't kiss back, that sends a clear enough message, right? I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness, or the looks, or- or-"
"You do realize that you work for him, right?"
"Yeah Jace, I know. Why do you think I'm freaked out?"
"No, I mean you're going to have to deal with the awkwardness anyway. You work for him. You literally spend your entire day trailing the guy. I mean that in the most non-stalkery way possible. Ish. But you're eventually going to talk about it sometime, and that means awkwardness. Unless of course, he has STML or something, or hit his head real hard and got amnesia. My point being, wouldn't clearing it up before you bolted have caused a little less trouble?"
"Jace! You're supposed to make me feel better. You're not doing a very good job," Alec complained. Mostly because Jace had a point. That would have made things less hard to deal with. "But in my defence, I wasn't thinking, okay! I did something stupid and… yeah. Now, help."
"Help how? Do you want me to go over and knock him over so he gets amnesia? I can totally do that. Ooh. What about I hire someone to hypnotise him to forget the kiss."
"Jace!"
"Sorry, but I can totally do that if that's what you want. I've got your back!"
This caused Alec to laugh. He relaxed ever so slightly. "You know that would put us on opposite sides though, right? With my job and all."
"If you have one tomorrow," Jace mumbled, and Alec tensed again. Shoot! Why didn't he think about that! It was a very fair possibility. Why oh, why in god's name did he think this was a good idea.
"Jace!?"
"Kidding. Magnus wouldn't do that. I think. Nope, he definitely won't."
"I should have just called Izzy."
"And given her a detailed description of the kiss without ever stumbling to the point?"
"I'll give you that. But you're seriously no good at this."
"Um, of course, I am. But now, coming back to the real point of this conversation. Why did you kiss Magnus? I thought you were 'just doing your job trailing him'." The sarcasm slipped effortlessly.
"Really, Jace? Really?!"
"What? We all called you out on it. And you denied it every single time. And you kissed him! I want to know!"
"I don't know. I just got caught up in the moment I guess."
"Ooooooh. What were you doing?"
"Playing blinks."
"You got caught up in the moment playing blinks?" he snorted in disbelief.
"It was a very intense game, okay?"
"I bet it was." They both laughed. "But Alec, I'm sure it's all going to be fine. I mean mostly. Except for the maybe getting fired and the not stopping to think about the kiss and-"
"Okay. Byee." He cut the call to a laughing Jace on the other end. He went to sleep a little more off his chest. Despite all of Jace's jokes, he believed things would be fine. He knew that though left unsaid, Jace wouldn't tell anyone else about this. The next morning, he got a text from Catarina.
Catarina: So, the shooting doesn't start again until Wednesday. I told Magnus, and he asked me to let you know about the schedule, so I'll just send you a pic.
The picture of the new schedule was attached to the message. No message from Magnus. But on the bright side, he still had his job. And he got more time to think about how exactly to deal with the mess he'd created. Yeah. That was good. For now.
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Magnus had kept to himself these past few days. But today, he had to talk to Alec today, and he still had to figure out exactly how this was possibly going to go. He'd thought of various scenarios, most of them ending with Alec deciding it was a stupid mistake that needed to be ignored. There were somewhere they'd probably decide that it was nothing they needed to talk about. But they needed to, that was the only thing Magnus was sure about. And he wanted to try. He really wanted to try to make this work if Alec wanted to. But the chances of that verged on slim to none, so Magnus tried his best not to get his hopes up. But hope is a weird thing. Even if you know that something is never going to happen, a small part of you keeps telling you that maybe, just maybe, you are that one in a million. That you might get a chance. And you keep hoping even when doors keep shutting till that last one slams on your face locking you in whatever fantasy you had built for yourself. Hope is a dreadful thing to have, and no one bothers enough to tell you that, but it is a part of what makes humans. But Magnus was trying to keep that tiny spark from burning too bright.
He got a message on his phone from Alec saying that he was down, waiting for him. Okay, he could get this done within the car drive, and then things can go back to however they were before, or change to whatever it was supposed to when they were back at the studio. Yeah. That was going to happen. Or not. Whatever. Okay, he can do this! He's an actor, so, if nothing else he could at least act his way out of it.
He took a deep breath in before opening the door with a "Hey Alexander, we- Oh, Hey biscuit! What's- uh how are you doing?"
"Oh, great Magnus! Sorry, Jace and I just crashed at Alec's last night and asked him to take me along the last minute. I hope that's alright."
"Of course, darling, the more the merrier," he responded with a bright smile.
"Okay, cool. Seems like I have a lot of work to get done. Apparently, the rains destroyed a lot of the props and stuff, we finished most of the work yesterday and the day before, but we still have some left. But yeah. How was your extended weekend?"
"Oh. Nothing worth noting really. Mostly just binging. I got a lot of time to read something that was not the script. And that's about it."
"Really? Well, I expected more from the 'Magnificent Bane'. But hey, you got your downtime, right?"
Magnus laughed. "That I did. What about you?"
"Nothing, I was just chilling at home with Jace, but then they called us to work as soon as the rain stopped." She rolled her eyes. "Work! But I love it, so."
"Still with the blond, I see."
Clary laughed. "Unfortunately." Magnus had noticed that Alec was quiet. He wasn't sure if he wanted to disturb that. But he attempted at it anyway.
"So, what about you Alec? Something interesting happen."
Alec cleared his throat before speaking. "Nah, the same old," he cleared his throat again, "the same old boring stuff."
"Really?" Magnus persuaded before realising maybe now wasn't the best time. He saw Clary narrow her eyes in confusion. Probably sensing something off.
"Yeah, nothing interesting." Clary's eyebrows raised at Magnus who simply shrugged it off.
"Okay…" Clary spoke acknowledging the awkwardness and trying to move away from it. At least that's what Magnus hoped it was. "Anyways, I forgot to ask! Emma told me about you helping Christina with some of the stunt work. That's pretty cool."
"I didn't do much," Alec answered with a fake cool.
"Okay." She repeated, looking between the two of them. A silent I'll get to the bottom of this eventually look passed over her. Magnus really hoped she didn't before him and Alec had a chance to talk.
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Alec had a proper speech prepared. Well, not an exact speech but he'd planned out exactly what to say to Magnus when he saw him again. But over the past few days, he'd got some of the other things figured out too. Despite what happened at Magnus's, what Magnus said was probably right. Alec knew more than anyone about not expressing his thoughts through means understandable by everyone. Maybe he got that from his father. And despite how much ever he wanted to protect his family, the fact remained that Jace, Izzy, and even Max for that matter were their own people who had the right to make their own decisions. So, he'd decided to tell them what he could. It was harder than he'd hoped it to be. He couldn't tell it to them over the phone, and he didn't want to get Max involved till he was sure his hopes and expectations of Robert were not just another dream he hoped was reality. This was why he'd called them all over for dinner the previous night. Simon and Clary included because, by extension, it affected their lives too.
"So, he wants to meet us?" Izzy was calmer than he'd expected her to be. Furious on the inside probably. But if she was, it didn't show. Alec turned to his brother seated opposite to him.
"And he wants to do this after all this time? Why?" Jace had his fists clenched on his spoon, gripping it tighter by the second.
"He asked me about it before, when Max and mom had come over," Alec confessed. "I didn't want him to, so I told him off. But then I saw him again, and," he sighed, "I realized that you are capable of making your own decisions and I didn't want to- uh, I don't know, force my opinions on you. I shouldn't have done it in the first place, but- yeah. I just shouldn't have."
"Alec, you did what you thought was right! Like any good brother would have." Clary spoke, "But why are you considering meeting him now?"
"I don't know. I mean, if someone kept me away from Izzy, Jace or Max because of one mistake I did, I would be pissed too. And I wouldn't know how to get you back either." He was still poking at his food, he didn't have an appetite that night, to begin with, but it had somehow gotten worse (if that was even possible). "And we don't have to meet him if you don't want to, but I just wanted to let you know." He added.
"Disowning your child because he's gay is not a mistake," Jace hissed banging his fist on the table. "Making him pay for the life every parent is supposed to offer their son is not a mistake." Alec squirmed a little at the sound. He almost considered telling them the whole truth but decided against it.
"I know Jace, but-"
"There is no 'but's. He did what he did, and didn't even bother to apologise. I can't fu-" Clary placed a comforting hand on Jace's shoulder. He visibly relaxed taking in a deep breath.
"I think you should meet him." This was Simon, who had remained uncharacteristically quiet through the entire dinner so far. All eyes turned to him as if asking for an explanation. So he continued, "You guys know I have had loads of issues with my mom. And I am really glad that things got fixed, but I really wish it hadn't taken me this long. I know your issues are more serious than mine ever were, and parents don't necessarily understand everything we are going through, but-" he paused taking a sip of water. "But you should just try and listen to him. You don't have to do anything other than listen. Maybe he has an explanation." He shrugged "You owe it to yourselves to listen to him." He finished. All eyes were still on him just a little wider, not having expected to hear something that wasn't a poor attempt at a joke. "And if you decide that you are going to meet him over food, you can pick the most expensive restaurant and make him pay." Simon laughed nervously, stopping when no one else joined him.
"Okay," Izzy finally announced breaking the silence. "I agree with Simon, but we all do this, or we don't do it at all." Clary, Simon and Alec nodded. Izzy's eyes fixed on Jace. He looked around the table once before looking back at Izzy with a curt nod.
But yeah, Simon's little speech convinced all of them to at least talk to Robert one more time. They had all agreed on the Max front. He was currently hanging out with Emma and Julian who were bantering about something. He wasn't sure. He was too caught up in his own thoughts, which were disturbed when someone placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Alec?" he recoiled a little at Magnus's voice. "Can I borrow you for a second?"
He gulped the water placed in front of him before getting up and wittering a quick "yes". A small part of him had hoped they wouldn't need to talk about it, but hey, better to clear things up, right? Well, he prayed to the angel above it was. They walked silently to wherever Magnus was taking him.
"Okay," Magnus began. "So?" He looked at Alec. Okay, he knew what to say to Magnus. He knew what to do to put this entire thing behind them. Admit it was a mistake and that it was just something that happened in the heat of the moment and it shouldn't have. That he wasn't thinking straight. He should have. He had this figured out. He took a deep breath.
"Listen, Magnus-"
"Oh, there you are! Finally!" Alec turned around. "Diego wanted some help with this sword fighting scene. Do you think you can help him? I'm kinda busy, and you said you do fencing, right?" Christina muttered breathlessly, she did a lot of running around. Alec looked back at Magnus looking for permission.
"It's alright. Go, we can talk some other time," he confirmed. Alec smiled weakly and looked back at Christina.
"I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something? I'll find someone else if that's the case, I mean it's not really that urgent if you have something important going on here. I can always come back later or-"
"No. I'll come, tell me where he is."
"Oh, I'll take you. I'm going that way. And Magnus, they need you on the set."
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Magnus was tired of being interrupted. This was the sixth time their conversation got cut off before it even started. This time it was Ragnor with the comic con stuff. Alec just stood in the corner listening, but soon walked out when he got a phone call. Magnus was half listening to Ragnor, his mind constantly finding its way back to the anxiety of not getting this done yet.
"Okay. So, you obviously aren't listening." Ragnor pointed out.
"Huh?"
"Exactly. I'll text you the details later, and I'll ask Catarina to call you up to tell you the whole thing again just in case your lazy to read it, which you usually are. Now go deal with whatever is distracting you."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Ragnor narrowed his eyes.
"Okay. Just deal with whatever is not distracting you. After finishing the final scene for the day. You can go home after. Reel in your problems."
"I'm an actor. I'm supposed to reek fake feelings. I'm just getting into character."
"Uhuh. I'm sure you are." Ragnor patted him before walking away. "Are you coming."
"Yes," Magnus sighed.
The scene took him another three hours. It was a good distraction while it lasted. He quickly walked to costumes changing back to his regular clothes before he started walking to his trailer hoping to find Alec there. He didn't have to walk long before Alec stopped in front of him. He'd changed from what he was wearing in the morning to something more semi-formal. Magnus took a second to look at him.
"Okay, are you ready to leave?" The nervousness in Alec's voice kept him from talking, so Magnus simply took to nodding. "Cool." He took the car keys out of his blazer pocket playing with it on the way to the car. Magnus didn't know why he didn't break the silence during the drive back to the loft, but he didn't. When they reached the loft though, he couldn't keep it in anymore. This had been eating him all day, and the more the delayed it, the more the chances of Magnus's fantasies to knot itself tightly in his mind. He was not letting that happen.
"Alexander. Get out of the car." Alec looked worried throughout the drive, and even before. He didn't want to make Alec feel uncomfortable, but getting things cleared would help him too, irrespective of what the outcome was. "Alexander." He tried again. He shifted his head to indicate him to get out. He did.
"Yeah?"
"You know that we really need to talk about what happened that day right? Because I know it can be uncomfortable, but we just need to get it out of the way and talk."
"Yeah, I know," he said rubbing the back of his neck, "And I promise we will. I just-" he paused to look at Magnus who was staring back hoping Alec would just tell him what was going on, what he was thinking! He looked back to his shoes before continuing, "I'm meeting my father today. I mean we are. I decided that maybe what you said was right- about him just wanting to be in our lives again and I spoke to my siblings about it and they agreed to meet him. I just didn't know they would plan it today. And I don't think I can deal with more than that today. So."
"Oh… Oh okay. Just tell me this," Magnus's throat suddenly felt dry. He licked his lips trying to form words again, "Did you- um- did you regret it?" This was it. He was handing a piece of his heart to Alec hoping for the best outcome, but it probably wasn't going to be, was it? He hoped Alec wouldn't throw it down and stomp all over it. He was praying that the slim to none chances were somehow taking pity on him and maybe would decide to work in his favour. The little spark of hope was starting to burn brighter. He looked expectantly at Alec, waiting for an answer to relieve him of this torture.
"Yes." Magnus felt like someone poured freezing water over the spark. This is why he had never been a serious relationship since Etta. It was too painful, it was too fragile, and people always told you about the good parts never the bad ones. The fall just nearly killed the person on the inside. "But not- I mean- It's not for the reason you think-" Alec added quickly.
Magnus took a step back, and another. "Right, Of course, you were drunk and maybe slightly emotional. I understand-" He hoped his eyes didn't betray the hurt, but he wasn't really trying very hard to hide it. Even he was, it didn't seem to be working. He could feel it not working.
"No!" Alec cut in, the urgency evident in his tone, "I regret it because I wish it had happened in different circumstances. Because you didn't want to, and I didn't want to ruin this- if I can even use the word, which I really hope I can- I didn't want to ruin our friendship. And I knew exactly what to say when we talked. This was not it. Can we just forget I ever said all of this? I mean you didn't kiss me back, that sent a clear enough message. I knew exactly what to-"
Magnus's eyes widened taking the information in. Did Alec just? He didn't let himself think before stepping forward again placing a hand on Alec's cheek. The action made Alec stop his rambling, and gape at Magnus. He smiled before raising on his toes to place his lips on Alec's. He placed his other hand on Alec's chest pushing him back to the car kissing him a little harder before pulling back. But before he could Alec grabbed his head clashing their lips together again. The world fell away as they kissed. Alec shifted a little, probably for some air and Magnus closed the distance between them. They finally parted after what seemed like forever and no time at all, both panting, their foreheads still touching.
Magnus recovered first, "I would have kissed you back if you had not run." Alec glanced up to meet his eyes. The smile the found itself onto Alec's face made Magnus kiss him again.
"Yeah, we definitely need to talk now. I mean later. I still have to go to the-"
Magnus straightened his shirt, "Of course. Later." Alec turned to get back in the car. Magnus looked down at before a hand reached his chin tilting his head up as Alec's lips grazed on his.
"For good luck," Alec mumbled. Magnus smiled a little brighter. "I'll talk to you tonight?" Magnus nodded not really bothered that he was smiling like an idiot, because Alec was too, and that was enough.
A/N: Okay so obviously I'm not that regular with updating, and I'm really sorry about that. But turns out college demands a lot of your time. Who knew (Except every human being on the planet)? I promise though that I will finish this story! I was really excited when I started this and actually share something in my head with people to ever leave it half done. So just hang in there. I'll find times in the weekend to work on the story. If you liked the chapter (And I really hope you did) leave me reviews to tell me how much, and Fav and Follow. Check me out on Tumblr ( everythingelseisspokenfor) for updates and random banter about all my fandoms. And have a great rest of the day!
