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Chapter 11 Not fond of asking

Not much later Dr. Neill made his entree and introduced himself to Alex. 'So Mr. Ryan, good to see you awake. How are you feeling?' Lucas checked his eyes, looked at the displays and asked Alex a few questions to see if everything was making sense to him and his memory was good. That last thing was surely no problem for Alex. Though he felt it as a problem cause flashbacks were running through his mind since Stevie had left the room. 'We gonna do some quick tests. For so far it looks good!', Lucas said pleased.

The video was still running and nurse Carter came in to help Lucas. She introduced herself quickly. 'There are a lot of people outside waiting for you', she smiled at him, noticing his beautiful blue eyes. But the expression on Alex' face didn't change. There was no happiness at all. Dr. Neill left the room shortly to have a talk with the medical staff and Carly looked at the television, wanting to turn it off and get it out of the room. 'Can it stay?' Carly smiled at him. 'If you want to.' He nodded.

'Can I get you anything else?' She already gave him a bit of water, to wet his dry lips. He shook in denial. 'You can have some visit if you like. I can call your wife in?' Carly immediately saw his reaction and knew that wasn't a good idea. 'Okay, you don't have to see her right now. I can call some one else if you like or do you wanna take some rest?' Alex thought for a moment. He wasn't sure what to do. He knew he would have to face someone in the end.

'Stevie.' Carly smiled. 'Ah the red head. You know, when I first met her I thought she was your wife. Silly me', she smirked. Alex didn't really know how to respond to that, so he hardly changed his expression. 'I shall get her.'

Lucas had quickly spoken to Alex' friends and family about the first results, when Carly showed up. 'He wants to see you', she said right away, looking at Stevie. Immediately Fiona got all upset. 'Can I see him first. I'm his wife.' Carly looked at Lucas for a moment. 'I'm sorry, he asked for Miss Hall. You can see him later. There's no need to upset him.' She didn't really know why she said the last line, probably cause she had seen Alex' face when she mentioned her.

Stevie was shaking, waiting for what to come, when she finally got permission to see him, added with an envious stare of Fiona.

She noticed the television was on and he was watching the screen, not signaling her stepping into the room. Stevie slowly moved closer, still thinking of that last look he gave her. 'Alex', she softly said. It made him look at her, but she didn't dare to come closer. Alex grabbed the remote control, which Carly had laid next to him and turned off the TV.

The fact he didn't say a thing made her even feel more uncomfortable. Stevie tried to say something but felt lost. 'How are you feeling?', she figured that would be a safe question for now. 'Crap', he said it covered in negativity and stared straight into her eyes. Not a safe question. 'You can sit down', he added. Hardly looking at him she took her place. 'I guess I have to thank you for this'. He moved his head, pointing to the television. Not daring to look at him she responded; 'she is the one you need', her voice trembled and tears welled up.

Alex was silent for a moment. He didn't want to talk about Claire and maybe he would be too hard on Stevie anyway. 'So thanks.' 'Alex ...', she stopped, feeling a tear run over her cheek, '... I'm glad you're okay... I'm sorry for everything'. He saw how upset she was and felt for her. She bitted her lip, looking at him, hoping for a good response.

I'm not saying it was your fault
Although you could have done more
Oh you're so naive yet so
How could this be done
You're such a smiling sweetheart
Something so beautiful
That every time I look inside
I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking

'We'll talk about that later.' It was not the words, but the way he said it that gave Stevie a sign there was hope. Hope for forgiveness, hope for their friendship. All of a sudden she could see his eyes fill with tears. 'Alex', she uttered again. The girl so wanted to comfort him, make it all better. 'You remember it all, do you?' He nodded. She felt helpless, so helpless. 'I promise it will get better.' He looked away, not really excepting her words and she realized it was something he didn't really believe in.

Hold on to your kite
Just don't let me down

Alex broke the silence again. 'Who else are there?' 'Dave, Regan ... Fiona, Trudy, Howard, maybe Liz.' 'She visited me?' Stevie nodded. 'Bryce too.'

'Can you call Dave in?' 'Yes of course'. They looked at each other intense; like it was the last gaze they would share for a long time.

It took some time before his mate got permission to get in. The doctor was still doing some tests and it seemed good to give Alex some time in between. Dave stepped in the room and tried hard to block all the sadness and worry. He wanted to be there for his friend, just like in good days. Probably the last thing Alex needed were crying people along his bed. 'Oy, the big man himself. Welcome back mate!', he said with a grin. It had the right effect on Alex. 'Thanks Brewer.' He smiled softly. 'You look like crap, mate', he concluded looking at Dave. 'Yeah well, hanged a bit too much around this hospital lately. Next time you want to visit me just call. I'll pick you up.' Alex smirked and was pleased to have Dave around. 'Heard you have a pretty bad concussion?' 'Yeah, well it feels like it'. Alex touched his head for a moment, looking a bit in pain. 'I bet it's not the only thing on your mind now.' 'I wish it was'.

The conversation got to a more serious level, and Dave tried to find out for how far Alex wanted to talk. 'You're intending to speak to Fiona?' Alex sighed. 'I know I have to but ... I dunno, what's there to talk about?' 'Well, I guess you better talk to her before she storms in. She's not pleased with the fact Stevie already visited you.' Alex gave him an annoyed look. 'I've got my reasons for that.' 'I know', Dave said comforting.

Alex figured it would be indeed the best to have her pay a quick visit, with the accent on quick. 'Righto, I will keep an eye on her', Dave smirked.

Although Fiona wanted to see her husband more than anything in the world, when she finally got the possibility the fright took over. What would she gonna say to him? It made her cry again. Dave gave nurse Carter a quick look to show he would be there with them. He got an approved nod back.

Step by step Fiona walked into the room and Alex was determined to just stare in front of him. She stood still, breathing through her mouth, tears left her eyes. 'Alex', her face turned red. 'You're okay?' Wrong question, Alex thought. 'I ...', she gazed at Dave, who stood near the bed ending. 'I didn't mean to lie; you really have to believe me. I panicked ... too many times.' It was like Alex felt a sting through his heart with every word she said. The pain in his head was nothing compared to that.

He looked at her, and immediately could see the fear in her eyes. 'It seemed like you thought everything through pretty well. If it wasn't for Sandra, I probably would still be living a lie.' She shook her head. 'No, it's not a lie.' It made Alex smirk cynically for a moment. 'What did you wanna call it, true love, hey?' He got angry know. It boiled up in him, and if he hadn't lay here it would have gone wrong, but Dave cleared his throat. It made Alex look at him and the two mates shared their own conversation with the eyes.

Alex took a deep breath again. 'I did everything for you. I felt so sorry for you when you lost the baby ... when you told me you couldn't care a child to full term. I was thinking about you, only about you!' Fiona's breathing got heavier, the sobbing filled the room. There was no possibility she could get words out of her mouth. Dave gave Alex a final stare, before leading Fiona away.

How could this be done
By such a smiling sweetheart
Oh and your sweet and pretty face
In such an ugly way something so beautiful
Every time I look inside
I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

Someone so beautiful
Such an ugly thing

The Kooks - naive