A/N - OMG I am soooo behind on responding to reviews. I am so sorry, but believe me, every single one of them mean so much to me. I'm going to lock myself in a dungeon tomorrow and respond. Yes. I will.

Thanks to alittlebitwicked/Samantha for being awesome and patient and helpful, and thanks to Wikipedia for the Pandora's Box info.

I enjoy feedback. Please let me know if you love it or hate it. Bring it on.

Thanks for reading!


PANDO′RA. i.e. the giver of all, or endowed with everything, is the name of the first woman on earth. When Prometheus had stolen the fire from heaven, Zeus in revenge caused Hephaestus to make a woman out of earth, who by her charms and beauty should bring misery upon the human race. Aphrodite adorned her with beauty, Hermes gave her boldness and cunning, and the gods called her Pandora, as each of the Olympians had given her some power by which she was to work the ruin of man. Hermes took her to Epimetheus, who forgot the advice of his brother Prometheus, not to accept any gift from Zeus, and from that moment all miseries came down upon men.

"Doing some light reading there, Penny?" Elena sat down next to Penny in the hair and make-up room. Penny just finished taking the rollers out of her hair and they were both waiting patiently for their next scene. Embarrassed, Penny turned off her Kindle and sighed.

"I was just reading about Pandora. Since, you know, I opened the box and everything. I figured I might as well learn about her since, you know, I resemble her so closely."

Elena rolled her eyes. "Penny, you are not the reason why all men are miserable. Nor were you created to bring the downfall of man, okay? And guess what, I have good news-you weren't the only one to open that box. You had a little help. This wasn't a one-way street, you know what I mean? He is just as guilty as you are."

Penny nodded. "I know. I know that, I really do. I'm over it. I'm happy to be single. I also know I've got to get my shit together before I start dating again. I need to focus on my career. Maybe audition for a few more part-time gigs. You know, people who probably wouldn't so much as give me a second glance before I was on this wonderful, thought-provoking show of ours."

Elena nodded. They both stared ahead vacantly for a few minutes. Then Elena said, "How are things at home?"

Penny sighed. "Lonely. Leonard isn't ready to be friends yet. We try-I've gone over there for dinner a few times, but it's uncomfortable for everyone. So I just stopped going."

"Do you miss him?"

"Leonard? Well, I guess I miss his friendship. But I don't miss-"

"Not him! The freakishly tall guy? You know, the one you claim to be over."

"Come on, Elena. It's been over for a while. I'm an independent woman. I get over things quickly."

Elena chuckled. "Penny, you may have an amazing capability to make people think you're strong, fierce and made of stone, but this is me. I'm an actress, too. I know what it's like to get away with hiding your true feelings from every single person in your life. But if nothing else, I'm going to be the girl to call you out on your crap. So, Penny, answer the question, do you miss him?"

Penny didn't want to miss Sheldon. She actually spent a lot of her time trying not to think about him at all. But she did miss him, all the time. She missed his weird laugh, his kissable lips, his sweetness, his innocence, and his vulnerability. He and Amy were coming back from Switzerland in mere days and she would see him soon, but nothing would ever be the way it was before Penny and Sheldon "opened the box". Too much had been said and done. It was ironic; now that her career was taking off, her social life was going down the crapper.

"Yes, all the time. It hasn't gotten any easier."

"Let me ask you...does it irritate you that your supposed 'bestie' gets to be the winner of this little game? That she gets to be the one who falls in love and ends up with him just because she got there first?"

"She didn't even get there first, I did! I knew him for almost four years before Amy met him! It's a bunch of shit-"

Penny stopped and took a breath. It wasn't like her anger towards Amy was a new thing. Yes, she had grown to care about the quirky girl and her wide range of social awkwardness and ignorance towards common sense, but she never would have chosen her for the role of best friend. Amy just showed up one day and made that particular decision. What loyalty did Penny really have to her? What did she owe her, if anything? Why should Amy get what she wants while Penny loses everything?

It always started like this. Whenever she closed her eyes and let herself think about the situation, the anger was her default and soon she was floating down a shame spiral. Really, her thoughts about the affair with Sheldon were so easily jumbled. Too many relationships and friendships and chemistries and politics were involved; it wasn't just black and white. When it came down to it, though, Penny and Sheldon were the ones who let it happen, and Amy and Leonard were just collateral damage.

"It doesn't matter who got there first, I guess. He made his choice. It wasn't me."

"Penny, look, you don't have to stay here and punish yourself. There are other jobs. Other cities. Other apartments where you don't live across the hall from the vortex of dorky men you've had intercourse with."

"What do you mean? I finally have this job that I love. My apartment may be uncomfortably located right now, but it's my first place that's all mine, you know? I pay for it, I don't have to share the bathroom with anyone, it's mine. Plus I know everything about this town, and I still have a few friends left..." She thought about Raj and Howard and Bernadette. They were all important to her in their own ways. They all made an impact on her life. She couldn't sever those relationships so easily.

"I mean, you don't have to stay here. We don't have to stay here. We're young and attractive and we have options. Look...I've been offered a role in a play in New York City. Not Broadway, but close enough. It's a twin role, Penny. We don't have contracts here. They could kill our characters off in a horrific accident and we could just leave. It's that simple."

It was amazing how this girl who Penny used to hate with the power of a thousand suns was now offering her a lifejacket. She had become the only person Penny could confide in. The only person who cared.

"I'm...not going to say no to that."

"But you're not going to say yes."

"No. Not yet."

"Because you'd miss him too much."

Penny just nodded. There was no use denying it-she'd miss Sheldon too much. She already missed him so much it hurt, and it had just been a few months. The thought of going years without seeing him, or the possibility of never seeing him again, made everything in her body ache.

"I'm just saying this as your friend who's looking out for you, so don't shoot the messenger. Do you think he's going to come home a changed man? Tell you he dumped Amy and he's ready for an adult relationship with you?"

Penny sighed, feeling pathetic. "Why can't that happen? Why is that so beyond the realm of possibility?"

Elena didn't reply. She just gave Penny a look. Penny understood...it wasn't going to happen. Because life wasn't a romantic comedy and people didn't always get what they wanted. Obviously she'd already learned that lesson many times. But maybe just this once...

"Penny and Elena, come to the set," The PA boomed. It was time to put her worries aside and get to work.

Just before the director called action, Elena said, "Just think about New York. It might be amazing."

Penny wanted to believe that. But after all this time, she didn't know how a place without Sheldon could possibly be amazing.


A few days later

He watched from the shadows behind the cast and crew, desperate to stay hidden from Penny.

He really shouldn't have come. There wasn't a single good reason why he was there. But as soon as he and Amy landed last night, all he could think about was seeing Penny. He was drawn to her. And he couldn't wait any longer.

Penny looked gorgeous up there in her element. She and her onscreen twin sister were eating at a fake restaurant and having a loud argument that was disturbing the rest of the patrons. He found this genre of acting to be complete nonsense, but it made Penny happy. So he watched. And yearned. And wished.

Finally, the director shouted, "Cut! Great, ladies. Just perfect. Thank you." Penny gave her co-star a high-five and they walked off the set together. It was that point when Sheldon definitely should have walked away. And when a production assistant saw him lurking and asked what he wanted, Sheldon should have walked away instead of saying, "I'm here to see Penny. She's expecting me."

To Sheldon's surprise, the assistant nodded and said, "Follow me." She took Sheldon through the long maze of hallways and then he found himself staring at a door with Penny's name on a star.

The PA knocked on the door and said, "Penny, there's something here to see you. He said you were expecting him."

A few moments passed while Sheldon's heart started beating way more rapidly than he was used to.

"What? I'm not expecting anybody-" The door opened and Penny froze. Her emerald eyes searched him in hopes of an answer as to why he was standing there before her. The PA looked back and forth between the two of them until Penny said, "Thank you, Margaret. Sheldon, come in, please."

Sheldon nodded nervously and came into Penny's dressing room, closing the door behind him. The room looked how one would have expected Penny's dressing room to look-all pink. Pink everywhere. Candles lit and clothes strewn on every available (pink) surface.

"Well, this is certainly a surprise. When did you get back?"

"Last night. Very late. You know, you should have much stricter safety protocols put in place here. I could have been a serial killer and that woman led me directly to your door."

"Sheldon, did you come here to lecture me on safety violations?"

"No, of course not."

"Then why did you come here? I'm sure I would have seen you later. I was going to come over for dinner tonight with Raj, Bernadette and Howard." And Amy.

"I wanted...to see you alone first."

Penny's face softened the tiniest bit. She was trying so hard to stay strong but Sheldon had come to know her well over the years. When it got right down to it, Penny let her emotions guide her completely. If she was anything like him at the moment, Penny was just as sad and vulnerable as he was.

"And I'm glad you're here. But that still doesn't answer my question. Why are you here, Sheldon?"

Sheldon Lee Cooper was a genius. He'd accomplished many important things in his 32 years on the planet, including finally discovering the existence of the Higgs boson particle in Switzerland. He was going to be famous. He was going to win the Nobel Prize. And yet he had no idea why he was standing in the obnoxiously pink dressing room of his next door neighbor.

"I...I don't know."

Penny threw a few shirts and underwear off her couch and sat down. She looked at him closely and he felt like he was being evaluated They hadn't been in the same room for nearly three months. Even if they did miss each other; even if they were both consumed with the feeling of desire, love, anger and frustration, there was nothing more to say or do. Or so they tried to tell themselves.

"Are you and Amy still together?"

"Yes."

"I broke up with Leonard."

"I know."

"And you still don't know why you're here?"

It didn't make any sense and it shouldn't have happened and too much time had passed. They were done! They were over. But clearly there was lingering feelings and desires, because they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. It started with a hug that may have been considered innocent at one time, but there was nothing innocent about it. They kind of met in the middle of the room and clung to one another, eventually finding the couch to clumsily come to a landing.

It was inevitable, really. They needed to settle a primal debt. It doesn't matter who kissed who first—they both wanted it. He put his hands in her hair and bit her lip and sucked her tongue just as she taught him at the beginning of this whole mess. They consumed each other. They kissed until they had to fight to breathe, and then they kissed some more.

"I want you," Penny whispered in his ear, and then bit his earlobe. He shivered with pleasure, which Penny anticipated and enjoyed.

"Show me," he whispered back, not recognizing himself, not caring.

She straddled him with great efficiency. Sheldon quickly tossed aside the robe she'd been wearing. He ran his hands along her perfect, milky, naked thighs, missing them more than he'd ever missed anything in his life. They kissed like horny teenagers, not able to keep their hands to themselves. She took his shirt off; he snapped her bra off and had a nipple in his mouth in seconds. It was already hard. It got harder as he sucked and bit and licked until she was practically begging for mercy.

When Penny had enough of the teasing, she took his pants off, ran her hand down his hardness, smiled mischievously.

"Sheldon..."

He didn't say anything. Couldn't say anything. So she said, "I need you inside of me. You don't know how much I've thought about this since you've been gone. If you don't fuck me right this second, I'll just go crazy."

"Okay. Yes. Now." He lost the ability to speak in complete sentences.

She said, "One second, please," and rooted through a drawer and found a condom. She watched with interest as he now expertly applied it.

"Wow, you must have gotten a lot of practice with-" Her snarky comment was cut off by Sheldon pushing her down on the couch, getting on top of her, parting her legs and sliding inside of her. There was nothing gentle about it. Penny let out a sharp breath and just held on for dear life while they found a familiar rhythm together.

Sheldon lasted a long time with her. Sex with Penny was so different from sex with Amy. Penny moved with him so flawlessly. So effortlessly. Penny touched him everywhere, as if she was exploring his body for the first time. She closed her eyes in pleasure, grabbed his ass and pushed him deeper into her. Amy had developed her own routine during sex and it was fine, but it was nothing like this. And for the millionth time, Sheldon wondered if he made the wrong decision. This time, he was pretty sure he did.

There wasn't a lot of room for cuddling on the small couch, especially with Sheldon's six foot-ness, but they made it work. Penny knew Sheldon wasn't a cuddler and really, neither was she. But they missed each other so much, and they just wanted to be together for a few minutes. They held hands and quietly contemplated what just happened. Penny knew the regret would sink in soon, but this was their moment to enjoy. Maybe their last moment. Perhaps acknowledging this in his head also, Sheldon squeezed her hand. They didn't talk. They didn't need to talk.

Eventually Sheldon extracted himself from her and took a quick shower in Penny's tiny bathroom. She sat at her make-up table and stared into the mirror. She waited for the regret to envelope her as usual, but there was definitely less guilt this time. She didn't owe Leonard anything anymore, and part of her decided she was never that good of a friend to Amy, anyway. But she was still disappointed in her weakness for Sheldon's kiss and his touch. She usually liked to feel in control and with him, she wasn't. It was so unsettling.

When Sheldon reappeared, he looked flustered. He probably felt just as disappointed as she did.

He sat on the sofa and she turned in her chair to face him. "We can't do that again. You made a decision and I have to respect that."

Sheldon nodded, but didn't apologize. "It was ill-advised, for sure."

What the hell did that mean? Did it mean that he wasn't sorry? That he didn't regret cheating on Amy? That he did what he needed to do and he reacted to his instincts for once and he wasn't going to apologize for it? Penny didn't recognize this side of Sheldon. But she liked it..

They were quiet for a moment. Penny actually started to get bored. She started picking at a loose thread in her robe. Someone was going to have to talk eventually.

"I'm with Amy because it's easy," Sheldon blurted out, and then instantly looked embarrassed.

"Excuse me?" Penny did not seem to appreciate where he was going with that.

"I feel like…I need to tell you this. Please, just listen."

"Sheldon, seriously, you don't owe me an explanation."

Sheldon ignored her protest. "Everything else in my life is a challenge-my work, relating to others, making friends, maintaining relationships, my mother-it's all a challenge. But Amy is easy. She understands the academic life. She lives it herself. We did have a bumpy start but now we know how to deal with each other's moods. It's like being with a female version of me, and it's easy."

"Well, that's fascinating, Sheldon. Although I don't remember requesting a biography on your relationship."

He sighed. She wasn't going to make this easy for him. How could he explain it? How could he find the words to tell her that everything in his life up to this point had been so difficult to achieve? Leaving his parents so early to go to college, working his ass off to achieve his goals before a certain age, being so much smarter than 95% of the people he interacted with on a daily basis...after all that, he needed something easy. And although Amy was a bit more touchy-feely than he'd prefer, being with her was simple. They'd probably get married and maybe have a few genius babies and publish papers together and it was what was expected of him. With Penny, she'd want adventure. She'd constantly challenge him and consume him and seduce him. There would be no way to focus on the work he needed to do if she was a permanent fixture in his life. He just couldn't do it.

Maybe someday he'd have the courage to explain this to her. If he ever had the chance. If he ever had the balls. But for now, he just said. "I just..I have reasons for my decision, Penny. Sometimes those reasons elude me, like today. But I do plan to devote my romantic emotions solely to Amy. I just…I needed this today."

Penny was quiet for a moment. Sheldon suddenly felt very nervous.

"I know it's easy, Sheldon. I know you and Amy make so much more sense than you and me. But tell me this-can you honestly say that after spending two and a half months with Amy, that you are better off with her than with me?"

Ah, finally, the million dollar question. And Sheldon had no idea how to answer it.

Sheldon swallowed. "Honestly, Penny…would the answer even make a difference right now? What if I said yes? What if I said I'm ready to dump her and make a commitment to you? Is that what you want?"

Penny smiled sadly. "No. It's too late. You made your choice and it's too late. You had your chance. A few months ago I would have taken you up on that. But at the time, you were just doing the right thing and I admire that. But now? Maybe in some other universe we can be together. But in this one? Friends."

Maybe Penny said that because she wanted him to fight for her. Maybe she wanted him to prove that he would step up; do the right thing and break up with Amy. But she wasn't going to lead him there. He had to figure it out on his own, and right now, he was blowing it. So she added insult to injury.

"Just for the record...if things were different, I would never get in the way of your studies and projects. I love watching you work, actually. Your mind is so different from mine. From anyone I've ever met. I don't think I'd ever get tired of watching you figure out something impossible for most people on the planet to even contemplate. I know that's what worries you about a future with me. Yes, I'd make sure we had fun together. But not at the expense of your work. I respect your work ethic and your desire to conquer the competition. So...yeah."

"Good to know," he murmured. As usual, he had underestimated Penny. Now he was going to spend a long time paying for that mistake. Ugh, he was so damn stupid sometimes.

"Well, anyway. I'll walk you out. Hey, how'd you get here, anyway?"

"I borrowed Raj's car. Let's just say he's sensitive to our plight."

"You drove here?" Penny's mind was blown. Sheldon only drove when there was an emergency, and even then, did so hesitantly and with many complaints.

"Well...yes. I needed to see you. It was important."

Penny grinned. Sheldon loved when she grinned.

"That means a lot to me, sweetie. Thank you for taking that risk for me. Oh, my god! I totally forgot, Leonard said you discovered the Higgs boson! That is so freakin' amazing! I can't believe I didn't bring it up until now; it's such a huge, awesome thing that's going to change your life!"

"Yes, I did. I'm writing several papers and my name is on the list for the Nobel Prize."

"I'm so proud of you, sweetie. This is it. You've accomplished your goal and that is so, so cool. We're all incredibly proud of you."

"Thank you. It's been a long time in the making and I had to compete with some of the world's best scientists to win. I hope you'll come to the ceremony next year?"

"Nothing could stop me," she said, and squeezed his hand.

In the parking lot, a nice-looking young man in his twenties stopped Penny and said, "Ohmygod! Can I please get your autograph?"

Penny smiled. "Of course! Who do I make it out to?"

"Dave. Thank you so much! I can't believe this!" She posed for a quick picture she knew was going directly to Twitter and Facebook, and Dave bounded off.

When he was gone, Sheldon said, "Looks like I'm not the only one realizing my dreams."

"Yeah, that's been happening a lot more lately. Like, it's a daily thing now. It's so much fun!"

They finally found Raj's car and Sheldon unlocked it and stood there awkwardly. He had so much more to say, but there was really no point in saying it.

But Penny surprised him. She pinned him against the car, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. He wanted time to stop so he could live inside this moment. But at some point it would surely have to end.

And it did. Penny finally managed to pry herself off him and said, "A good-bye kiss. It'll give you something to remember me by."

"Well, that was...enlightening. Thank you."

She nodded. "I guess I'll see you tonight, then."

Sheldon gave her a little smile and opened the door to the car. Penny swung it closed. He looked at her in confusion.

"Sheldon? I asked her to."

"Pardon?"

"I asked her to. The production assistant brought you to my room because I asked her to. A few months ago I told her that if a handsome and confused tall guy came looking for me, go ahead and bring him to my room. Because I never gave up on us, Sheldon. I always wanted you to come find me. You did, even if it is too late."

And then she walked away, and Sheldon watched her until he couldn't see her anymore, and then he shook his head and drove back home to Amy.


Penny had no inclination whatsoever to walk her ass across the hall for dinner and keep up the pretense that her heart wasn't completely broken. But Amy had already texted her three times to make sure she was still coming and plus it was time to be in a room with all these people again. Since the last time they all had dinner together, Howard and Bernadette had gotten married, Sheldon and Amy had been gone for two and a half months and consummated their relationship multiple times, and Leonard and Penny broke up. There was a new dynamic now and it was time they all got used to it.

As soon as she walked in the door, she was tackled by Amy. "Bestie! I have so much to tell you! Can I spend the night tonight?"

Oh, no. No, no, no. She could not endure an entire night of Amy talking about Sheldon. Being with Sheldon. Sex with Sheldon. Loving Sheldon. No.

"Oh, Amy, I can't. I have to be on the set so early tomorrow. Maybe another time." Maybe never.

Amy looked disappointed. "Who will I tell about my escapades with Sheldon? I'm a woman now! I want everyone to know!"

"I don't know, maybe write about it on your blog or something," Penny replied sarcastically. She was beginning to get really annoyed with Amy. She just wanted her to shut up, and she'd barely been in her presence for 20 seconds.

Amy frowned. "Are you...mad at me or something?"

Ugh. Penny was going to have to get better at this. She had to keep reminding herself that this whole situation was never Amy's fault. Maybe she should let Amy come over for a sleepover. Maybe she should hear about Amy's experiences in Switzerland with Sheldon. It would help her mourn and get over the situation so she could move on with her life.

"Sorry, it's just been a long day. And I have PMS."

"Oh, I have a way to treat that, actually. It involves orgasms."

Penny grimaced. "I don't...I'm good. Thank you, though."

"Come on, Penny! Let's have a sleepover. We'll have fun, I promise."

"Ooh, a sleepover? Can I come, too?" Bernadette asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"Okay, yes. We can totally do the sleepover tonight. I have ice cream." And lots of wine.

"Yay! Oh, we have so much to gossip about. I can't wait!" Amy bounded over to Sheldon in the kitchen and kissed him on the cheek. The way he smiled at Amy broke Penny's heart all over again.

"Hey, Penny, good to see you," Leonard said, and gave her a hug. She kissed his cheek for no apparent reason and he beamed. She could do this. She could be his friend. It was better than the alternative, which was not having any of these people in her life anymore. Maybe she would consider New York City. But for now, she had good friends. A good life. Not too much to complain about. Yes, she was heartbroken, but so what? Lots of people were. She'd get over it eventually.

It was pizza night, and there was plenty of it. Everyone stuffed their faces happily and chatted about how their summer was going. They all wanted to know about Sheldon's discovery of the Higgs boson and he was more than happy to oblige.

While Howard, Raj and Leonard got into a discussion about the newest laser project they were working on at the lab, Sheldon caught Penny's eye. She smiled; he smiled back. It was going to be okay. Penny couldn't help but think they'd gotten away with something. No, it never should have happened. She was sad, he was sad. It would probably take a long time to forget about the way his lips felt on hers and the way she felt so...full when they had sex. But it was going to be okay. It was something the two of them would share until their last breath. Their secret.

In retrospect, Penny should have known that was just too easy. Nothing was ever that simple, and she had tempted fate just by thinking it could be.

Leonard was now at his computer, looking up the statistics for the new laser. She watched him check his email. She watched the whole scene unfold. She would never forget it, because that exact moment is when everything changed. And not for the better.

"Oh, look, Penny...there's a Google alert for your name."

"You get Google alerts for my name? Dork," Penny said it jokingly, but she was nervous for some reason. She hoped with all her heart that it was just the guy who took a picture of her earlier in the day and not something else.

"It's from TMZ. Ooh, you're in trouble!"

"I'm on TMZ? What the hell? Come on, Leonard, don't read it. Please. Just let me...look at it first."

There, on Leonard's computer screen, was a picture of her on the TMZ website. It was from earlier in the day. And she was in a full lip lock with someone very tall and very smart.

"Looks like this young starlet, who is on the hit soap opera Fire Lake, was caught having a little soap opera of her own in the parking lot today. I guess this hot new actress is taken, boys."

And then the shit hit the fan.