"Fuck off, sunlight..." The tiny statuette begged, coiling tighter up into a ball atop of her pillow.

She liked sleeping this way. Despite her plea, the rays persisted. She sat up and took off the tiny night gown she had made herself from a white glove. Growing back to human size, she walked to the wardrobe and pulled it open, looking for her original blue dress.

"Where'd it go?" She asked herself, sorting through the plentiful articles of clothing Marzia had gifted to her.

Finding it to be missing, she tilted her head to the side. She shrugged, pulling out a light green strapless chiffon dress that brushed her knees and pulling it on. Alice's long brunette hair had tangled in her sleep and deciding she didn't want to fool with it, she brushed it and pulled it back into a low ponytail.

"Piggeh said to be the library at 11, right?" She asked herself, looking at the note he had left on her door last night before she went to bed.

Heading out the door, she rushed to Stephano's room. By the time she got there, her breathing was uneven and her side hurt a little. The door proved to be locked as she turned the knob. She sighed, her plan falling apart. She'd have to knock and wake him. As she lifted her hand to knock, she got an idea. Alice smirked, the doorknob clicking after a few minutes of digging around in the lock with a bobby pin.

Golden locks of hair was visible splayed out on one of the pillows, the rest of him covered by his sheets. Alice smirked, backing up till her back touched the wall. She dashed forward, leaping onto the bed and pouncing on the sleeping statue.

"Agh! Putain!" Stephano growled, sitting up so fast he could feel his head spin.

Alice blinked at the sword at her throat. He rubbed his eyes, his mouth gaped as he realized who was sitting on his lap.

"Oh mon dieu... desole." He fell back against his pillow. "Ma petit chou, don't do that!"

Alice giggled, leaning forward to place a kiss on both cheeks and then to his lips. "Sorry, mon cher. Do you always sleep with this beside you?" She asked, tapping her finger against the blade of his sword.

He nodded. "Yes, I do..." Sitting back up, he held her at the waist.

"Get up and get dressed. We're going out with people."

"Tell me Gonzales won't be there." Stephano muttered, his eyes narrowed.

"Are you being serious?" Alice asked, rolling hers.

"He was there last night, right? I think he was. And there was wine. I know that there was wine..." He asked jokingly, a goofy grin on his face.

"Oh, so you were sober enough to notice that?" She asked back in reply, standing up and grabbing his hands.

"It's not my fault that I need alcohol to deal with my idiotic brother."

Alice huffed, yanking him up. "Get dressed before I shank you."

Stephano turned around, looking at her with a look of slight annoyance. "What has you in a mood?"

"Take a joke!" Alice returned, sitting down on the side of the bed and grabbing his sword. "But I am a little pissed."

"Why, Al?" Stephano asked over his shoulder, shrugging on a shirt.

"'Cause my favorite dress is missing! I really wanted to wear it today!" She complained, her shoulders slumped.

"First world problems? Or is that just a lady problem?"

"Shut up." She laughed, letting out a yawn.

"Well, I think you look beautiful in the dress you're wearing. Let's go." He picked her up bridal style, shifting her a bit so he could open, close, and then lock the door.

"Merci, but... my legs work perfectly fine." Alice mumbled, trying to squirm from his hold.

"I know. You have no choice. So, where are we going?"

"Library." She sighed, giving up and locking her fingers behind his neck.

They walked silently- well, he walked. Stephano yawned, still sleepy and rather sluggish. Alice yawned in response, giggling for no real reason.

"Chaise and Piggeh?" Stephano asked.

"Oui, them." Alice confirmed, helping him push open the door.

"Yeyuh! You guys came! I'm pumped!" Piggeh shouted, throwing his arms around both statues. "You guys are just in time!"

"Time for what?" Stephano asked, already suspicious of his pink-haired bro.

"My victory! You guys can bask in the glory with me since without you guys I couldn't of won, you lovely shiny freaks!" He exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I'm so pumped! So pumped! So fuckin' pumped I might die!"

"Please do... whenever you get the chance." Stephano remarked, sitting down in an brown leather armchair against the wall with Alice in his lap.

She climbed up and sat on the back rest about half a foot over his head, her legs dangling off beside his left shoulder. Leaning over a bit, she began to mess with his hair. He reached a hand up, feeling around for his trademark headdress and looking up at her when it was gone. She sat above him with a proud grin, the golden fabric resting on top of her head. Rolling his eyes, he relaxed and allowed her to mess with his golden hair as she pleased. Piggeh sat on the loveseat opposite to them with his magenta eyes trained on the door.

"What are you all wound up about, Piggeh?" Alice asked, working Stephano's hair into little braids that soon fell out on their own.

"You'll see. Just wait." Piggeh answered, stretching out and kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

He grabbed a book off of the table and began to leaf through it, giving up and tossing it back in boredom after only a few minutes had passed. The statuette perched atop of the armchair hummed softly as Stephano began drifting off. She smirked at the small smile played on his lips. Giving his hair a swift, mischievous tug, he let out a surprised yelp. He narrowed his eyes, looking up at her in annoyance. She kissed him on the forehead to apologize.

The door creaked open. Piggeh's furry ears stood up, tilting slightly towards the noise. He smirked, sitting up strait on one side of the loveseat. Alice continued playing, blissfully unaware. Stephano watched Piggeh for a minute, turning to the door just in time to see someone scurry in.

"Alice, sweetheart?" Stephano whispered.

She leaned forward to tried and listen, only to tumble forward and land back into his lap. With an 'oof' she sat up, ignoring his amused smirk.

"Oui?"

"I think I know who took your dress." He whispered, pointing to the figure sitting cross-legged beside Piggeh.

Alice's eyes widened in shock. There sat a familiar bro with chocolate brown hair and green eyes. His hair looked so much longer without his hat and his glasses were absent from his face. The knee-length light blue dress had been pinned up so it was more... revealing. His smooth, pale legs were clad in lace up stockings and a pair of shiny black heels to match the ribbons on the dress.

"Mr. Chair?" She asked, leaving Stephano's lap again to go sit on the coffee table.

"I'm really sorry, Alice." He muttered, looking down. "Please don't be mad at me for wearing this..."

"Mad? No. The only thing that bothers me is that you look better in it than me." She commented. "All that chairmoding really paid off for you, huh? You have really amazing legs..."

Mr. Chair grabbed the edge of his dress, trying to pull it down enough to hide his legs. Looking up, Alice noticed the light makeup accentuating his features. He wore a bit of dark eyeliner and a little mascara, with just a touch of clear lip gloss on his already pinkish lips. He was flushed enough that he didn't need to apply any powdered blush. Stephano got up and sat on the table too, taking a closer look.

"Oh la vache... You look like a lady." He said, tilting his head to the side. "Chaise... How could you let him do this to you?"

"Because he lost the bet and he wouldn't do the other thing. Since I win and he lost, he's gonna do whatever I say for three whole days." Piggeh said with a smirk. "And the first thing I wanted was an adorable pin-up."

"Within reason." Mr. Chair butted in, looking down shamefully.

"So you made poor Mr. Chair crossdress?" Alice asked, looking over the androgynous young man in her dress. "How is that within reason?"

"Yeh." Piggeh answered, totally satisfied with himself. "It's within reason because he wouldn't do the other thing."

Stephano made a cross between a scoff and a growl. "You need professional help."

"You're just jelly because you don't have a cute pin-up to do whatever you want." Piggeh answered, crossing his arms.

"Jealous? No. Sane? At least a little more level-headed than you."

Mr. Chair looked up. "Don't worry about me, Stephano. I was the one silly enough to make this bet. We have boundaries, so three days shouldn't be too bad." He said it like he was trying to re-assure himself.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Alice asked, poking and prodding at the poor chair-human.

"Yes. Making bets on relationships is mean and wrong."

"Non, the real lesson here is that if you make a bet with Piggeh, you're gonna get fucking screwed." Stephano laughed, standing up and walking over to the fireplace beside the sitting-area. "Youuuuu... are an idiot, Mr. Chair." He finished in a low chuckle, picking up some paper to get the fire going.

Mr. Chair sighed, nodding slowly. Alice leaned forward and hugged him, glaring at Piggeh menacingly as she did so. Piggeh shrugged, clapping his hands together. Mr. Chair looked up, a defeated look on his face.

"Yes, master?"

Stephano fell to the floor in front of the crackling fire. He made a sort of choking noise before erupting in manic laughter. Curling up into a ball, he clutched his stomach.

"Master? What kind of sicko shit is this? I feel like I'm witnessing the beginning of a really bad porno. I'm about to blow fucking chunks!" He snickered, trying to catch his breath.

Piggeh glared at him, unamused. "No. If this were a porno, it would be the best damned porno ever made."

Alice and Mr. Chair both facepalmed.

"Tell me what it is that you want before I decide on a way to get out of this." Mr. Chair grumbled.

"Tea and a back massage." Piggeh answered cheekily. "And there's no way out of this, hun. You did the crime, now you do the time."

"Fine, fine." The cross dresser huffed, puffing out his cheeks as he stood up and walked out of the room.

Alice watched him go, turning back to Piggeh after a minute. "You truly are a disgusting pervert."

Piggeh smirked. "A good looking disgusting pervert with a really sexy butler. I wonder if he'd get mad if I called him Sebastion..."

Stephano scrunched up his nose, sitting back down in the armchair. "I really don't know why I hang out with you."

Alice sprawled out on the table, squirming a bit to try and shift some books out of her way. "I need a drink. Bad."

"Alcoholic? Isn't it a little too early for that?" Mr. Chair asked, returning with a tray of teacups and a pot.

"Nah. I'd actually really like to make this tea Irish anyway. Be a lamb and go get that for us?" Piggeh answered for her, grabbing a cup and taking a sip.

Mr. Chair made a low growl. "You couldn't have asked before I left to get the tea? Do you realize how hard it is to walk in these stilettos? My feet are bent inhumanly-"

"Don't get snippy." The roset reminded him, kicking his feet up on Alice's stomach.

"Fine! What would you guys like?"

"Whiskey."

"Gin."

"Vodka."

"Gosh, you all are alcoholics. You're gonna damage your livers. And then where will you be? I swear I'm the only one with sense around here sometimes." Mr. Chair hissed under his breath, angrily stomping away.

"I guess someone has his stockings on too tight." Stephano muttered, leaning a bit towards the warmth of the fire.

Alice and Piggeh both snickered at that comment.

"I don't know... He actually looks kind of adorable if you ask me." She sighed.

"Should I be worried?" Stephano asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes. Be worried. Very worried." She returned, getting up to lay across his lap.

"Wait... Can you like... make Stephano wear a dress?" Piggeh asked, his pig ears standing up.

"Non. Go fuck yourself." The golden statue answered, petting her hair.

"C'mon! Now I'm curious! What if she showed you her tits or something?"

"Fuck off, sir!" Alice shouted. "You creepy-ass pig weirdo."

Piggeh shrugged. "I'd do it."

The pig-human flinched at a sharp slap to the back of his head. Mr. Chair gracefully turned around the coffee table, handing Stephano and Alice both a glass and then returning to the couch. He placed the tray onto the table, handing a flask to Piggeh before sitting down with his legs crossed.

"Hey! What did I say about slapping?" Piggeh asked in a scolding tone.

"No. You aren't getting one, so don't even ask." The brunet sighed, sliding off the black stilettos.
"Ugh, fine. But I still want a massage."

Mr. Chair nodded, getting on his knees behind the pink haired bro and beginning to knead his shoulders. Piggeh sighed in content, pouring some liquor into his tea

"This is how life is done. Take notes, kiddos."

Stephano made yet another noise of disgust. "I'm beginning to think that prolonged exposure to you is a hazard to my health."

Alice nodded in agreement. Mr. Chair suppressed a small giggle. Piggeh smirked.

"Prolonged exposure to me without proper protection may lead to sexual frustration and spontaneous orgasms." He stated, turning up his drink.

"Or maybe just mental scarring." Alice remarked, tipping up her glass.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_A bird? A plane? No! It's a pagebreak!_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

After a few bottles of alcohol shared between them, everyone was feeling a tad bit warm and fuzzy on the inside. They had each had a little too much. Giggling about things that weren't really funny and reminiscing about things that never happened, the only sober one of the group smirked.

"Y'know, Steph? Don't tell anyone... but I think that smirk of yours is really sexy."

He chuckled softly, combing through her no-longer-pulled-back brown hair. "Is that so?"

She hadn't been the first, but she was the second one of the group to get a little buzzed. Piggeh was tipsy only about half a drink after Alice. They had all been amused by the low alcohol tolerance of the first one to get completely lit; Mr. Chair.

"Oui... just don't tell anyone, 'kay?"

Stephano nodded at the statuette sprawled across his lap, beginning to feel that small giggly feeling that would soon evolve into what the others were experiencing. He leaned back, feeling the warmth of the fire and listening to the quiet crackling. Alice smiled, cuddling up closer to him. She watched the other two bros, an amused gleam in her crystal blue eyes.

Piggeh had stretched out on the small sofa, his pink converse kicked off to the side. He had somehow managed to get Mr. Chair to lay on top of him. Mr. Chair's head rested on the pink-sweater clad shoulder, his arms loosely looped around the roset's neck. Piggeh's hands had wandered for a bit before they finally found their places- one resting on the place between where the light blue dress ended and the lace stockings began. The other was pressed firmly on his stomach, Piggeh's cheek pressed to the top of his head. They could almost hear the small brunet purring in delight, soaking up all of the cuddling and attention like a lazy house cat.

"Piiiigehh?" Alice called, sitting up just enough to look him in the eye.

"Yeh?"

She held up two thumbs in reply, bursting into a fit of slightly-drunken laughter. Piggeh smirked back, sliding his hand up Mr. Chair's thigh just a bit more. He never noticed. The green-eyed man had drifted off, the alcohol proving to be a bit too much for him. Sitting in silence, the bros all began to drift off. As the time passed and they all slept, the fire burning out into darkness. A few minutes quickly became hours. When Stephano's eyes opened again, he looked around in confusion.

"How long have we been sleeping?" He asked, looking for some indication of the time.

The grandfather clock across the small sitting area read 11:57. He groaned, rubbing his eyes and trying to sit up. Alice mumbled softly, mewling when he shifted her. He tapped her on the shoulder, smiling when she nuzzled him with her cheek.

"Al... Wake up..." He muttered into her ear, gently shaking her awake.

The little diamond statue stirred, rolling over. She clumsily rolled over the side of the armchair, landing on the hardwood floor with a thud.

"Ah! Merde. Merde. Merde. Merde!" She muttered, holding her head in her hands.

Stephano smirked, chuckling softly. "Y'alright, mon petit ange?"

She glared up at him from the floor, fixing her dress back over her legs. Standing up, the brunette sighed. "Just peachy." Her mind was still a little cloudy. She looked over at the two bros laying snuggled up on the couch. "Should we... uhm..."

"Wake them? Idunno." Stephano replied, his golden eyes closing as he let out a yawn. "I always knew this would happen."

Alice tipitoed over to the sofa, sitting down on the coffee table in front of them. She tugged at the skirt part of her (or Mr. Chair's?) dress. He snored softly, making the statuette giggle. Instead, she lifted one of the furry pink pig ears atop of Piggeh's head and began to sing in a soft whisper.

"Frere Percy, frere Percy,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les minuit! Sonnez le minuit!
Din, dain, don. Din, dain, don."

His magenta eyes opened lazily, and he yawned. "Idunno what the fuck that means, but... what happened?" Looking around and feeling the heat on his chest, he smirked. "Oh, fuck yes..."

"It's almost midnight. so get 'chour ass up and get to bed."

"Ugh, really? Can't you see this incredibly sexy brunet on top of me? I'm good right where I am."

Stephano stood, walking over to the couch and hoisting a still-sleeping Mr. Chair over his shoulder. "About that... I think it's best that we don't leave him alone with you."

"I can take him home! It's not like I'm gonna rape him or anything! Who do you take me for? Do you guys not trust me?"

The statues both stared at him blankly.

"Oh come on!" Piggeh whined, standing up. "That stings."

"Stephano and I can take him." Alice sighed, re-adjusting the tail of the dress so it covered him properly.

Piggeh rolled the petite chair-human off of Stephano's shoulder, cradling him close to his own chest. "You bros don't understand... I don't want to hurt him. I really just wanna hold him and snuggle him."

Alice smiled, giggling softly. Stephano looked down at her, shaking his head. "I still don't trust him."

Alice narrowed her eyes, barely punching his shoulder. "Shut up. He's sincere."

Piggeh smiled at her, rocking Mr. Chair back and forth happily. "Yay! Nighty-night, bros." He shifted the cross dresser, kissing the top of Alice's head. "Love you, Allie." Turning to Stephano, he smirked. "Fuck you, Stephano."

Stephano smiled back, holding up a middle finger. "Right back at you, you stupid pig bastard."

With that, Piggeh happily scampered away.

Stephano turned to Alice. "If Mr. Chair gets defiled, it's all on you."

"Shut up and take me home." She replied, linking her arm with one of his.

"Right this way, milady." He cooed, half-sarcastically.

She laughed, walking along his side. As she walked down the corridor with him, she watched the moonlight coming through the windows glint of of his metallic form. Her fingers roamed, trailing over the golden fabric covering his muscled arm. He barely paid notice, watching her closely examine him; her eyes scrutinizing every detail.

"Al... Is something wrong?" Stephano asked, turning a corner to a different branch of the long hallway.

She barely heard him; her mind a million miles away. She could hear him speak, but she failed to register what he had said. The little diamond statuette's grip on his arm tightened. He could see very clearly that she was on edge.

"Alice. Are you listening?"

She seemed to ignore him. Her eyes darted from place to place, looking for anything to confirm her suspicions. She could feel another pair of eyes on them; watching their every move. He began to gently nudge her, trying to get her attention. She continued disregarding him.

"Alice, ange..."

Nothing.

"Alice!" He barked, stopping dead in his tracks and roughly grabbing her by the shoulders.

Snapping out of the trance, Alice flinched away. "I'm fine."

He sighed, relaxing a bit. "Don't scare me like that." Stephano held her close in a tight hug, gently running his fingers through her hair. "Now, don't lie to me. What's bothering you all of the sudden?"

The petite girl shook her head. "I'm not bothered. Why do you ask?"

Stephano made a low growl in the back of his throat. "You're lying."

"Look, I just don't feel- Well... Do you ever feel like you're going a little mad, but-"

Interrupted by a battle cry of sorts, she nearly jumped right out of her skin. Stephano let go of her, drawing his sword and standing protectively in front of her. She pulled out the basilard hanging from a leather cord around her neck, trying to peek at whatever- or whoever- had made the sound from around his side.

The sound of smashing wood and pieces of metal clattering to the stone floor made her jump yet again. Stephano stepped forward, looking around the corner and seeming to relax again. Alice raised an eyebrow in question, going around him to see what all the noise was. She gasped, her eyes widening at who stood there.

"SVEN!" She squealed, running down and glomping the unsuspecting Viking.

Sven stumbled, taking a moment to regain his footing. The large raven-haired viking blinked in confusion. Once he realized who was hanging on to him, he bellowed a deep, raspy chuckle.

"Hello, little one."

She hugged the burly man tighter, giving him a kiss on the cheek in greeting. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed your companionship as well." He looked over her shoulder, noticing the golden man standing there; examining the pile of barrels (or what used to be barrels) and the battle axe sticking out of them. "Oi, Stephano!" He boomed, beckoning the statue over.

Stephano turned, smiling at Sven. "Bonjour. Comment vas-tu?"

"Stephano... You know I can't understand you." Sven sighed, rolling his eyes and setting the petite statue-girl down.

"Right, right. Sorry. How have you been?" Stephano repeated; in English this time.

"I've been well. And you?" The man replied, combing through his curly raven-black beard.

"Can't complain." Stephano sighed, wrapping an arm around Alice's waist as she returned to his side.

Sven narrowed his eyes. Alice stood on her toes, trying to stand tall enough to kiss Stephano on the forehead. The golden statue smirked, stooping down a little so she could. Sven cleared his throat.

"Oh, right... Sven. Stephano and I are together." She explained, turning back to look at the Viking.

"Ah! Well, that's wonderful, little one. Do you think I could... have a word with him for just a minute?"

Alice looked puzzled. "Sure... I suppose so."

Stephano nodded, walking over to Sven and around the corner. Alice huffed, plopping down on a nearby crate. Once around the corner, Sven clapped a heavy hand on Stephano's shoulder. Stephano looked up at him (even if Stephano is tall, Sven is pretty much a tower. A tower made of cinder blocks.) with a look of slight confusion. The Viking sighed.

"I never thought I'd get to do this because I never had a daughter... but Alison is like my daughter, so I'll go ahead and say it."

Stephano nodded, not quite understanding.

"That girl is precious. You best treat her like a princess, because she deserves it. I love her like she's my very own, and I want her to be happy, ya hear? If I find out that you've mistreated her, laid a hand on her, or made her shed even a single tear..." He pointed to the large battle axe stuck in the pile of scrap-wood that used to be barrels. "I'll be sure to lodge that there axe in your skull. Understood?"

The golden statue's face was as stoic as ever. He nodded in confirmation. "Understood."

Sven smiled, patting Stephano on the back so hard it could have left rugby-ball sized bruises. "Great. Now, we all have some catching up to do, don't we?" He asked, turning back around the corner. "After all, I've truly missed my little gem."

A/N

Hai, hai! It's me again! So... I have a few things to tell you all, but first... translations.

ma petit chou- my little cabbage (a very popular term of endearment in French, believe it or not.)

mon/ma chere/cherie- my dear (You all should know that.)

mon ange- my angel

'frere Percy' (Actually Phillip, Jaques, etc...)-

Brother Percy, Brother Percy
Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Midnight bells are ringing! Midnight bells are ringing!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.
(I tried my best to change it from 'morning bells' to 'midnight bells'... So don't hate me for screwing up a traditional song if that isn't accurate.

Anyway! New chapter after my computer mishap! Woohoo! I see the end of this story coming in only a few more chapters! (Aweh!) One of my good friends has requested a sequel. Will I write it? Yes. For her. Will I be posting it? That is up to you bros. You want it? TELL MEH!

My new story should be up REALLY soon. I'm still trying to fit all of the wonderful OCs you bros sent me in, so please be patient. ALSO! If you want an OC in, it has to be in by the time I post the second chapter. Kay?

Piggeh: *hands me a mop*

Me: *takes it* What's this for?

Piggeh: *points to the readers* For all of the fangirls that nosebled over Chaise in a dress. *blows kisses and walks away*

Me: Oh... *smirks* Yeah... Didja enjoy that? (I did.) Leave a review to let me know!

Mr. Chair: Can I take it off now? * tugs down skirt*

Piggeh: *smirks evilly* I'll help. *chases MC*

Me: Okay then... *waves* Bye for now!

~Pocky