This chapter has more overlap than normal dialogue wise, but I love his thought process during this, and it was as important in his POV as it was in hers. The dialogue will probably continue to mimic each other more, but there will be plenty of original content in each.
Mizzdee keeps my words looking pretty, tropical sorbet, twilly, and ACullenWannabe keep me company during the day when I'm trying to write in between checking the job listings. And all of you make me smile at the constant pings on my phone after I post...it's a great feeling to know people are enjoying your words.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 12
Bella looked completely shocked as she finished climbing the stairs, turning quickly to check who was around, which bothered me a little. I had made her so concerned with keeping our secret that it was her first reaction to seeing me.
I held out the flowers, which she took immediately before kissing her. "You look stunning, Bella."
"Edward, what are you doing here? Aren't you worried that someone might see?" she asked, confirming my fear.
"No, I'm not. Because I'm through hiding you away like I'm ashamed of us. We're going to go public with this when we're ready to face those that will give us the most opposition, but we are going to enjoy each other until then," I said, taking her bags and leading her to the stairs that would take us to 34th Street and 7th Avenue.
"Where are we going?" she questioned me, looking back in the opposite direction.
"I'm walking home with my girlfriend," I said plainly, unable to hide my smile. "Esme knows that I have a date tomorrow, and I asked her if she could keep the kids tonight so I wouldn't have to fight to get them up in time for me to make it. She was so happy that I was possibly seeing someone that she said that I could pick them up whenever I wanted tomorrow."
"I know, she texted me asking if I wanted to meet her in the park when I got back into the city tomorrow. I told her that I'd let her know when I was coming in to see where they were," she told me.
"Good, we can plan our arrivals tomorrow after our date," I said as we reached the escalator.
"What date?" she asked and I smiled again as I explained tomorrow to her.
"I'm taking you out for a brunch date that I have a feeling you'll appreciate. It's in Brooklyn, which I think is best for us. If we keep our outings to the outer boroughs then we have a lower chance of running into someone we know. But I also wanted to tell you that one of my co-workers knows about us. Garrett's a good man and he's all for us without having met you yet, so it will only get better once he does."
"Angela and her cousin know, and they're both being supportive for the most part, but I wanted to tell you that Ben has been giving me a lot of shit for dating a guy who refuses to meet my friends. He's acting like I made you up, and I know he works for you, but is there any way we could tell him? Angela shouldn't have to lie for us, but I kind of forced her to when I told her and then said she couldn't tell her husband. And if I show up to dinner next weekend without you-"
Hearing that she had plans for next weekend confused me, since we were going out East, but when she explained that she hadn't planned on going I felt a little sad. I'd been hoping to recreate our last visit there next weekend, without the uncertainty this time. I told her that I'd go to lunch with Ben and Angela if they could meet us earlier and then drive out East, cooking up a story about a work lunch. The shock on her face as I told her that we could tell Ben and reveal to another person in both of our lives that we were together was a little difficult to deal with. I wasn't sure if she was shocked that we were doing it this soon, or if she hadn't thought this day would come at all, but I was planning on showing her just how far I wanted to take this.
"I would do anything for you, Bella. And I'm going to prove that as soon as we get home."
When we arrived, I let her bring her bags to her room and take care of her flowers, asking that she meet me in my room when she was done. I hadn't heard her approach, so the surprised gasp that was supposed to be my name caught me off guard. Now was the time to tell my story.
"When I was little, I had the worst memory. I got so excited about everything and was going in a hundred different directions so I would leave things behind, or forget places I was supposed to be, or things I was supposed to do. Finally, my dad grew tired of having to drive halfway back home from somewhere or track me down when I'd forget that I had a doctor's appointment after school, so he told my mom to do something about it.
"My mom took a piece of ribbon and tied it around my wrist and told me that before I went somewhere I was supposed to look at it and think if I had all my things, or to look at it when they told me about something I was supposed to do so I would remember it when I looked at it.
"I hated wearing that ribbon, but it worked. I stopped forgetting and was able to focus more on what I was supposed to be doing. Some might say that I just grew a little older and more responsible, but I think the physical reminder helped.
"So when I went shopping this week after talking with my idiot of a friend, Garrett, and tried to find something to help illustrate how I feel to go along with the actions I'm taking, I saw this ring and it all clicked." I took the ring from the box and watched how she stared at it. "Every time you look down and see this ring, I want you to remember how much I love you, and my promise that our secretive ways are only temporary. When we've both had some time to grow more confident in our relationship, and we're ready to demonstrate that this isn't a fling, I will be out there shouting it from the rooftops."
The ring found its home on her right pointer finger as her eyes filled with tears and a trembling smile graced her beautiful face. We told each other how much we loved the other before clothing became optional and I finally got to have her in my bed.
"That's it, Bella, no holding back tonight," I whispered, taking her with more force than normal, driven not only by tonight, but the fact that we could be loud for once. I thrust into her, loving every sound she made. There was an intensity tonight that was breathtaking and I couldn't wait until a time when we didn't have to hide away who we were from the world, especially what we meant to each other.
When Bella came it was primal and so fucking beautiful that it didn't take long for me to cum inside her. I removed the condom, reminding myself to get more, before I looked over at Bella. She was lying in bed, that same unsure look on her face from earlier. It was then that I realized she'd never stayed the night with me. On our trip to the island I'd moved her back to her room, and all the times here had been up in her room and I had returned to mine after. I rejoined her in bed and pulled her close and laid a kiss at her hairline. "I know what you're thinking, but you're not going anywhere tonight. We won't get a lot of chances for this in the near future so I want to enjoy it."
She nestled herself even closer and fell asleep, giving me the chance to just hold her and watch her sleep until my eyes closed.
I woke up around nine-thirty the next morning with my sexy as sin girlfriend pressed into my morning wood. This was another fantasy on the long list of one's she'd inspired since I met her. Hoping to wake her up slowly, I dragged my fingers across her body, tracing her sides and as much of her legs as I could reach before sliding back up. I grew adventurous as my fingers traced her stomach and up to her breasts, kissing her neck.
"Someone's up early." She laughed as I rubbed against her to show just how 'up' I was.
"When I've got you in my bed it's a wonder we got any sleep last night," I joked back, moving my hand down her body. Everything changed though when she threw her leg over mine and pushed back. "Bella," I warned.
"I get a birth control shot, Edward, and I'm clean," she told me, but I still pulled away.
"That's never one-hundred percent sure, Bella," I told her and watched as she rolled over and met my eyes, seeing the pain there.
"I'm going to take a shower," was all she said as she made her escape.
"Bella, wait," I yelled after her but she was already at the stairs. "Fuck."
I pulled on a pair of boxers and ran up to her room, hearing the shower turn on as soon as I'd entered her room. I plopped down on her bed, tugging at my hair in frustration. Our first morning waking up together and it had been ruined by a conversation that I was sure was overdue, but everything about this was backwards so I didn't know what I was doing at this point.
Bella was in the shower for a while, but I didn't move until she came out, something that startled her as she jumped when she caught sight of me. "Can we talk about what just happened down there?" I asked.
"What, you already have your family, and it was foolish of me to assume anything," she muttered dismissively as she started to pick out her clothes.
"Bella, we've never talked much about my age and the things that changes, but I think that's something we need to discuss," I started and she cringed, looking to the floor. "You're right, I do come with a pre-started family, but that doesn't mean that I'm done building a life with you. If I didn't want any more kids I would have had a vasectomy, but I knew there was a chance that I could meet someone who I would fall in love with and want to add to my family with. But I want it to happen at the right time, when we're ready."
She just kept getting dressed, not even responding to let me know that she was listening to what I was saying.
"Bella, please talk to me," I begged.
"I've always wanted to be a mom, Edward, and that's an important decision to make without me. Even if it's you not wanting it yet, I'm not Tanya. I'm here with you in this relationship, not living a separate life from you, so my feelings should matter. Our relationship means a lot of compromise for me, more than you probably realize and I don't put any of that on you. It's what I have to deal with because I love you enough to. So don't take away my choice." Her voice cut off like she was fighting back tears, but her statement just made me more confused.
"What compromises are you talking about?" I asked.
She started to tell me about becoming a stepmom and having to be one of three parents in the situation which would include Tanya once she realized we were together, which I had known would be an adjustment. The fact that she was even thinking that far though, it made me secretly happy. But then she continued and when I asked her to elaborate on the comment about missing out on her dream wedding things became clearer.
She was Catholic, like my family was, but where we were casual church-goers, she was far more religious, in fact, with the kids doing their religious education classes, we'd likely be tagging along with her a little more often as we were required to. But that meant that my previous marriage would rob her of her dream of a church wedding, one that probably featured St. Patrick's since it was the church she attended. And I would have given it to her if I was able, but it wasn't an option. So now I had to endeavor to fix the things I could.
"Your faith is important to you, Bella and I respect it too. The fact that you're as active in the church as you are…you go more often than we do, that's for sure. We'll find a way to find a balance. But there has to be something else."
She finally met my eyes as the tears began to fall. "I just wish you didn't feel the need to hide us. The people who will have problems will have them if we're together a month, or a year, or ten years. We have to be okay with us and be strong enough to stand up for our relationship. And you're not there yet."
"You're not giving up on us, are you?" I questioned her, terrified that after finally stepping up, she was walking away.
"No," she whispered. "Now, you promised me brunch, so why don't you get dressed and I'll finish getting ready and we can head over to this restaurant."
I reached out so I could pull her to me, kissing her with everything I had. I was showing her every ounce of devotion. I would show her that I was sure of us and that we were working towards the day when we could tell the world. "Our reservation is at noon, so we have ninety minutes to get there," I said when I pulled away.
I went down to shower quickly and get dressed. I made it downstairs to see her already waiting for me. "Are you ready to go?"
She surprised me a little by kissing me. "Yes, and we better stop off to get more condoms, because we're almost out." The little vixen actually winked at me before tugging me out of the house. Her change in demeanor threw me a little, but the fact that we had partially resolved some of the things that we needed to talk about made me more optimistic about our date.
