Chapter Eleven: "She Don't"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I am so friggin' ANGRY! Who is this 'Mujan' character! Whoever she is, I DON'T LIKE HER! ONE BIT! I mean, that's poopie, who names their kid 'lover' anyway? Obviously her parents were hippies! EW! And the clothes she was wearin', man, not even someone as tacky as WAKKA would wear 'em! Her clothes were so raggedy they looked like they were salvaged from the Sin attacks! I AM GONNA KILL SOMEONE I SWEAR!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
OoO
I stormed back ta Yunie's place, a frown burned into my face and my fists clenched so tightly they were basically stapled together. When I got back there I saw that Paine was already back with that trashy tree-hugging ruulrea Mujan. (Shouldn't you have a license for bein' that ugly?) They were sitting down talking to Yunie and Tidus, laughin' like they were all old buddies. Grrr. To hold back from screamin' at the top of my lungs I bit down on my lip and clenched my fists even tighter. My gloves ripped. I was about to walk into the house, but I stopped myself and stood outside the doorway, listenin' to the good people and the ruulrea talk.
"It is so nice to finally meet you, Yuna! I just think you are the best singer ever…your voice is to die for! You can dance like a pro too! And to top all that talent off, you even saved Spira! You're so amazing!"
Yunie giggled like a little schoolgirl. (I thought ta myself, 'No Yunie! Don't let her stupidly rehearsed compliments get ta ya!') "You're very sweet! I'm guessing you're Paine's date for tonight's dinner then?"
Was it just me, or did Paine choke on something when Yunie said that?
"Um…yes I am!"
SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A DINNER GOIN' ON! My face turned bright red as my anger meter went off the charts. I walked inside and grinned widely. "Why rammu everyone! I was wonderin' where ya all went!" I turned to face Mujan. (Ew. I couldn't look at her face! I wanted ta vomit wit' RAGE when I saw her face!) She was smiling innocently while sittin' way too close ta Paine. "I don't think that I properly introduced myself ta ya back there at the beach," I approached her and stuck out my hand. I noticed there was a gigantic tear in it. (Oopsie.) "I'm Rikku, Yunie's cousin, and a very close friend to Ms. Painey right here. And you are?" (Man, there was more poison in my voice then Brother's cookin')
Mujan flipped her nappy black hair back and firmly shook my hand. "I'm Mujan! I just met Paine a little while ago…I think she was trying to hit on me!"
My eye twitched.
She laughed and affectionately tugged on Painey's spike. (After knowin' her, what, 10 minutes? I was scared ta think how affectionate she would be afta an hour.) "I'm just playing. I was just singing and Paine must have overheard me, because the next thing I know she was complimenting me on my voice. Personally I don't think it compares to Yuna's, but Paine says it's at that level. She is a very sweet person! I personally cannot wait to go on this date with her!"
I just wanted ta smash a chocobo on her head!
While the two of them looked stupidly at each other, and Tidus just sat there lookin' uncomfortable, Yunie took this opportunity to ask me a question. "Who is your date tonight then, Rikku?" I froze up. Uh-oh. I had never went ta a dinner with Yunie without a date. And I couldn't say Mujan had stole my date, 'cause then I would give a bad impression ta Paine! (I would just bring the pain to Mujan when Paine wasn't lookin'!) "Do you not have a date?"
I had ta think fast, so I said the first name that popped into my mouth.
"Of course I have a date! I'm bringin' Gippal!"
The room went silent. I had broken off things with Gippal a long time ago. Everyone thought that I was tired of that poopie-head. (Which I was!) But it was too late for that, now I had ta go on a date with that loser.
DANG IT!
OoO
When we got back on the ship I knew I had ta call Gippal. I really didn't want to, 'cause once I asked him to go on a date with me, he wouldn't shut up or leave me alone. But I had got myself into the mess, so I was gonna hafta deal with it. Not that I wanted ta. So I went to the bridge and sat down at Shinra's computer and contacted the Commsphere in Gippal's room. I was prayin' on Auron's dead soul that Gippal wasn't there, but he was. With Baralai and Nooj.
Sigh…
Gippal looked into the commsphere and his face lit up so much it coulda blinded me. He licked his hand and slicked his hair back nervously. Ew! (And you wonder why I broke up with him!) I tried ta put on my best fake smile but I ended up looking like I was watchin' a really well made scary movie. Gippal coughed nervously and tried ta look nonchalant, but I could tell he was ready to faint. "Hello Rikku! Er…how have you been? Been doing anyone good lately?" My mouth dropped open. "I m-mean, been doing anything good lately?"
I sighed. "I've been doin' good, and how about ya?"
"I-I've been…uh…doing great! Ever since we broke up I've just been living my life! Not having a broken heart or crying every night, no sir, not me!"
"Oh that's good!"
"Yeah…"
"Anyway," I took a deep breath. "Ya know, Yunie invited me to dinner tonight, and I don't have someone ta go with me tonight, so I was wonderin' if you would like to come with me." I saw Gippal grin stupidly. "As friends." His grin dropped.
"Just…as friends?"
"Yeah, is that bad?"
"No. But you gave me false hope. I'll go though."
"Good! Pick me up at eight! And don't try ta hold my hand, 'cause you will get a 5-inch stiletto to your shin! See you tonight!"
I turned off the connection before Nooj and Baralai could start whooping. Poopie! Obviously I really liked Paine if I was goin' to put up with a poopie head like Gippal! Could it be that I'm…?
OoO
As the dinner came closer and closer, I took a shower (I'm so fresh, so clean). After wrappin' my hair in a towel and puttin' on my towel, I pulled out all my makeup. Hm. "Should I go for the sexy; every guy wants to take me home look? Nah. Paine doesn't go for that look." I pouted and looked at myself in the mirror. Suddenly, the vision came to me! In a flurry, I put on the best friggin' makeup in my collection (Which cost me a lot of Gil…almost all of Paine's stash) and when I was done I admired my work. Blue eye shadow, red lipstick, perfect blush…MMM! I was, ya know, PERFECT!
But then I realized I was stuck, 'cause I didn't have a dress to wear. All of my outfits were old and used one too many times; there was at least one hole in each of them. As I frantically searched through my closet, I felt panicked. What the heck was I supposed to do! Then it came across my mind…Yunie had left her slinky black dress in one of the storage rooms!
I hurried down to the storage rooms, trippin' on my bathrobe several times along the way. When I got there, the towel on my head had fallen off of my head and I knew that there was gonna be a buncha bruises all over my arms from fallin' so much. I thought that it was gonna be snatch-and-leave, but no, it wasn't because Brother was sitting on the ground with all of Yunie's belongings scattered across the floor. He was clutchin' the slinky black dress that I wanted like it was an expensive designer purse. (Hey, I would clutch one of those, anyway.) He noticed me and growled like a watch dog or somethin'. "Tuh'd ajah DREHG ypuid ed. Ed'c seha, ymm SEHA! Huf kad yfyo pavuna E peda ouin rayt uvv!"
UGH. I didn't have time to play stupid games with Brother! I approached him and he hissed. I ignored that and grabbed one of Yunie's boots off the ground. Before Brother realized what I was doin', I swung the boot across his face.
"Cu DRYD'C fro fusah muja druca cruac cu silr…"
Brother fell to the ground with his eye twitchin' and a huge red mark on his right cheek. I grinned and blew a kiss to Brother before I grabbed the dress out of his arms and tripped back to my room.
OoO
After I had put on the dress (No back, pure black, and tied at the neck to hold the dress up.) and tied my hair into a bun I walked over to Paine's room. Without botherin' to knock, I slammed open the door and strutted as sexily as possible over to Paine's bed. She was in the shower or somethin'. So I sat down and crossed my legs, admirin' how my legs looked with those stilettos. But I was so busy admirin' myself that I didn't realize that I was sittin' on the very edge of the bed. As soon as Paine walked out of the bathroom rubbing her broken nose, I fell off the bed in a heap. POOPIE!
"Rikku! Are you okay?" Paine rushed over to my side and picked me up, placin' me gently on the bed. (Ooh!) She grabbed an ice pack from the bathroom and put it on my forehead. The cold brought me outta the little daze that came over me when I fell off the bed. I blinked a few times to bring my eyes back into focus…and there was Paine, lookin' so…wow. Her hair was gelled or somethin', so it covered her right eye. She was wearin' a suit, but it wasn't baggy, it fit perfectly. She looked AMAZING. Even with a gauze pad over her nose!
"I-I'm fine now. Just a little messed up, ya know? But thanks for the ice pack anyway." Was it just me, or was there concern in those red eyes of hers? My heart melted just by seein' that.
"That's good. But anyway, why exactly are you in my room?"
"Uh…"
I blushed without meanin' to. Paine waited expectantly for an answer, getting off the bed and grabbing a glass of water off of her dresser. She took a long swig from it.
"Well, I did have a reason to come here, but I kinda forgot it when I saw how good you looked tonight."
Paine choked on her water and it spilled all over her face and shirt. She turned around with cheeks the color of an apple. "W-W-W-W-What did you just say? Did I hear correctly, or is my injury really getting to my head?" I had to resist grinnin' at how cute her reaction was. I hopped off of the bed and came up to Paine with a small smirk on my face. She turned even redder as I stopped a couple inches from her face.
"I said that you looked really good tonight!"
She gasped a bit. "Why…uh…thank you! You look amazing tonight too."
I giggled. "Thanks mucho, Painey." I inched a little bit closer to her until our lips were this close to touchin'. I had never done somethin' this brave, and it felt really great! "I mean, it's really great how good you look tonight…even with your broken nose! I wouldn't mind seein' this all up close and personal…"
Paine wiped sweat off of her brow. "This is really up close, and very personal, don't you think?"
My eyes were almost closed. "Not close enough."
I closed my eyes and I knew Paine closed her eyes too. We moved closer together, and I felt her torso press into mine (Oh my goodness) and our lips almost touched…
…until Brother burst into the room with Mujan, who smiled and ran into Paine's arms as we quickly separated from each other.
POOPIE!
OoO
After we picked up a sloppy lookin' Gippal from his place, (He didn't even comb his hair, and he was sweatin' so much you could pour it into buckets) Buddy dropped us all off at Luca. As we walked towards the restaurant, Gippal tried to make simple conversation, like I wanted to talk to him! Ew! I glared at Mujan and Paine the entire walk to The Luca Emporium. They were standin' so close together, and Mujan kept touchin' Paine like she was someone who actually had the right to touch her…like ME!
We got to the restaurant and saw Yunie and Tidus standin' at the front, holdin' hands and waiting for us. When Yunie spotted us she waved us over with a sweet smile on her face. Mujan and Paine raced over there, with Mujan grabbin' Paine's hand and dragging her over there. GR! Gippal tried to hold my hand too, but I just dug my nails into his hand and power-walked over Yunie alone.
"Hi guys! I'm glad that you all could make it tonight! You all look stunning!" We all laughed lightheartedly and walked inside. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! Chandeliers, a dance floor, people wearin' suits and dresses, it was so gorgeous. Mujan gasped as Yunie and Tidus went to get our reserved table.
"Oh Paine, isn't this place just wonderful? So nice for a first date." Paine half smiled, like she didn't even know that this was considered a first date. I breathed a sigh of relief and elbowed Gippal as he tried ta put his arm around my shoulders.
After the waiter seated us at our table, we were handed our menus. And ya know that I am always hungry, but this was the first time in my lifetime that I was not up for eating. I stood the menu up in front of my face and eyed Mujan and Paine over the top of the menu. As everyone laughed about somethin' about Seymour's hair, I glared across the table. Now that I had the chance to look closely, I saw what a fake Mujan was! Her hair was really tangled, like she hadn't even bothered to comb it! EW! Even that poopie head Brother combed his little bit of hair! And her lipstick was slightly out of the lines of her lips…and…ONE OF HER FAKE EYELASHES WAS COMIN' OFF!
I just couldn't resist.
"I'm real sorry Yunie, but I hafta freshen up, ya know? I think Gippal ruined my makeup when he tried ta place a sloppy one on my lips." Gippal backed off of me as I stood up and Tidus snorted at my joke. "I'll be right back."
I quickly ran over to the only teenage waiter I saw in the place. "Hey big boy!" I grinned his way as his mouth dropped open when he saw me. "Come over here real quick!" He rushed over to the Women's Bathroom door I was standin' in front of. "Do you want to do me a big favor?" I winked and he nodded his acne covered face 'yes' dumbly. (He he…stupid hormones) "If you go accidentally knock into that girl over there - see? - I'll let you see my chest!"
His eyes grew wide as he rushed over to my table. I snickered and burst out laughin' obnoxiously when he bumped into Mujan's chair and even dropped a glass of tea on top of her head. Mujan shrieked while Tidus and Gippal both jumped out of the chair and pointed with their mouths in 'O' shapes. Tidus, bein' Tidus, yelled "Her eyelashes fell into the water!" loudly. The music stopped playin' and everyone looked at Mujan. I ran into the bathroom and almost died laughing.
I had ta compose myself quickly though, as Mujan burst into the bathroom with her makeup ruined and her black and white dress havin' a HUGE brown stain on the chest area. It was simply be-yoo-ti-ful. I put on a sincere face and gasped. "Oh my goodness Mujan, what happened?" She rushed over to the mirror and pulled out a wet wipe, and some eyeliner.
"Nothing, except an idiot waiter bumped into me and spilled tea all over my brand new dress. I wanted to impress Yuna with it. But I guess I really can't do that now that it's got this stain on it!" She huffed as she dabbed at the runnin' makeup. I grinned but put on a frown when she turned to face me. "I have never been more embarrassed in my life. I mean, having that happen in front of my idol…"
She woulda continued rantin' on if I hadn't stopped her. "Yes, I would be really embarrassed if my fake eyelashes came off in front of my idol."
Mujan stopped applyin' makeup. "OH MY YEVON! I FORGOT THAT MY FAKE EYELASHES FELL IN YUNA'S WATER!" She quickly applied the rest of her makeup and ran back out like she was runnin' a marathon. I had ta see this!
I quickly followed her, only to be stopped by that gross waiter. He had apparently been waitin' for me. "Can I see it now?" He stretched out his arm and I kicked him…uh…where the sun doesn't shine!
"Sicko!" I said as I ran back to the table.
I arrived at the table just in time to see Mujan tryin' ta fish her fake eyelashes out of Yunie's water. Paine had her face buried in her hands, Tidus was tryin' not to gag, Gippal was gaggin', and Yunie was tryin' to appear sympathetic and understandin', but instead looked like she wanted to crawl under the table. Mujan looked the worst. (YAY!) There was a long streak of makeup on her right cheek, and she was gritting her teeth as she failed at pickin' out the eyelashes over and over again. I sat down in my seat and chomped on one of the appetizers while watchin' the 'show'. I didn't know bein' evil could be this much fun!
Yunie's eyes grew big as the water started ta change colors from the eyelashes. "Um…Mujan…it's okay, we don't need to get the eyelashes out. Why don't you just sit down and we'll enjoy the rest of the night as if none of this never happened?"
Paine looked up with tears streamin' down her face. She had been…laughin'? Whoa! "Yes, let's do that!"
Mujan sat down in her chair. "I guess I can do that," she smiled softly. "Dra ajahehk luimt hud buccepmo kad yho funca."
Oh yes, there was a way.
I wasn't goin' ta lose my Painey to Mujan without a fight.
OoO
Well, after nearly 5 months, I have finally updated the story. How was the chapter? So many of you anticipated what Rikku would do to Mujan, and as you can see, she is completely evil; reminiscent of anyone's evil ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends? Also, in case you do not know what the Al Bhed in this story means, go to Google and look up 'Al Bhed translator' and copy plus paste the Al Bhed text into the translator. That should solve the mystery of what it says. Anyway, sorry for making you all wait so long! Can I still ask you all to review? THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!
Also, this chapter was based off of the chorus of Letoya Luckett's song "She Don't".
