Chapter 61: Peter's Got Woods
Narrator
Fresh out the net box
Stop, look, and watch
Ready yet, get set
It's Family Guy!
We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.
Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh
This is All That
This is All That!
First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.
Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.
Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.
Chorus:
Check it, check it, check it
Now this is just an introduction
Before I blow your mind
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time
Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.
Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.
Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.
Chorus:
So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair
Ground or in the air
Just don't go nowhere
Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.
Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.
Chorus:
Cause everything we do
It's all of that!
When entertaining you
We all of that!
Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.
Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.
Chorus:
My posse and my crew
It's all of that!
So sit still cause we're coming right back
Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.
As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.
Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh
This is All That
This is All That!
Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.
Now we join Frank, John, Tyler, Peter and Brian are watching television show called Old People Agree With Arnold Palmer.
"And now back to Old People Agree with Arnold Palmer." The announcer said as we see Arnold Palmer saying thing to old people that they agree with.
"Tomato soup, grilled cheese, and a weak cup of tea is the best lunch in my book." Arnold Palmer said the things he like for lunch.
"He's right." The older guy said
"I enjoy things I remember." His friend said.
"Peter, Frank, me and Meg off to my book club. Don't forget you two have to go to the PTA meeting." Lois asks Peter and Frank to go the PTA meeting
"Me and Pop? Go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high?" Frank asked her on why him and Peter going to PTA meeting also asking her if she is high on weed.
"Not anymore. I crashed hours ago. By the way, we're out of chips, cookies, and Funny Bones. Now, I'm going to my book club and you are going to the meeting." Lois said as she and Meg leave for book club.
"Hey, Brian, how about you and the boys go to that meeting for us, huh?" Peter asks Brian to go to the PTA meeting with John and Tyler.
"Yeah. I don't think so." Brian said as John and Tyler agree with him.
"Oh, come on, buddy. You owe us." Peter said as Brian owes a favor.
"You remember what I did for you last week?" Frank said as he set up a cutaway about they were assists Brian in this performance.
Cutaway
We see Brian sing "Sighing Softly To The River" from the comic opera "The Pirates of Penzance" right outside.
Brian
Sighing softly to the river comes the loving breeze.
Setting nature all a-quiver, rustling through the trees.
As Peter, Frank Jr are both dancing and sing their part of the performance.
Peter and Frank Jr
Through the trees.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back to the living room with Frank and the y gang as Brian caves in.
"All right. We'll go." Brian said as he agrees to go to the PTA Meeting.
Now we join the trio of John, Tyler and Brian at James woods high school for the PTA Meeting as they spot quagmire in the meeting.
"Quagmire, what are you doing here? You don't have kids." John asked him.
"Don't be so sure, Guys. I've slept with chicks all over the world. Who knows, I could have kids in their 20s." Quagmire said as he sets up a cutaway about one of kids from around the world.
Cutaway
The scene shifts to Spain, where a woman was waiting for her child she had with Quagmire. The son who lives in Madrid, He looks like Quagmire but, with a Spanish mustache, a striped shirt and a ponytail and he speaks Spanish and puts "Giggity" in between words.
"¿Dónde demonios has estado? ¡Es la una y media de la mañana! (Where the hell have you been? It's one-thirty in the morning!)" The woman shouted.
"¡No tomes ese tono conmigo! ¡Estaba fuera bebiendo con los chicos! (Don't take that tone with me! I was out drinking with the guys!)" The Spanish Quagmire explained.
"¡Me pones absolutamente furioso a veces! (You make me absolutely furious sometimes!)" The woman shouted.
"¡Ah, no puedo hablar contigo cuando estás así! ¡Voy a ver la corrida de toros! (Ah, I can't talk to you when you're like this! I'm going to watch the bullfight!)" The Spanish Quagmire left the house.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back at the gym with Brian and quagmire.
"What are you doing here?" Quagmire asked them on why they here.
"We got roped into this by Peter and Frank." Tyler said as he explains why they are here.
As Brian notice a beautiful black woman sitting alone and he took this chance to talk to her.
"Wow, that's a lovely color. Your –Your-Your dress is…. the color of your dress is …I like… You're very pretty." Brian asked her about the color of her dress is nice but he is loosing it.
"Oh, thank you. I'm the 11th grade history teacher, Miss Parks." Miss Parks said as she thank Brian for his commenting about her dress.
"Oh! Like Rosa Parks. Or, you know, or someone white named Parks." Brian said as he said something racist until miss parkers just laugh's.
"Nothing cuter than a nervous white dog." Miss Parks said as she thinks he is cute while as John and Tyler were started singing in the background.
"Well, I'm Brian and gosh, if I'm not being too forward, it's lovely to meet you, Miss Parks." Brian said as he introduce himself to her.
John and Tyler
OoOh
"Oh, please. Call me Shauna." Shauna said as When She introduces herself, there was John and Tyler's heavenly singing of the name "Shauna" in the background.
John and Tyler
OoOh Shauna! Shauna!
No we join everyone at the dinner table in the dining room.
"So, Brian, you ready to go play some darts at The Clam?" Peter asked brian if he is join the gang tonight to go play some darts at The Clam.
"Sorry, Peter. I can't make it tonight. I have a date." Brian said as Peter does a spit take on the twins.
"Dad!" Meg and Persephone shouted as it piss off both Frank and John from him doing that to them. They both plan to get payback on peter later on when he hears something shocking again.
"You were supposed to drive tonight. What am I supposed to do? If I drive, I'll have to have a bunch of drinks first because I am very self-conscious about my driving." Peter said as he complain about him driving the car instead of Brian.
"Oh, you've got a date! What's his name?" Frank Jr asked him about his date being a man which caused both Tyler and stewie to laught their pants off.
"HaHaHaHaHa! Do you see that? Do you see what he just did? He made it seem as though you were a homosexuaI, Brian." Tyler said as he laughs at Frank Jr joke including Stewie.
"Ha! That's funny to me too." Stewie said as he squirts milk out his nose.
"How exciting, Brian." Emily said as she cheer on Brian for finding someone.
"So who's the lucky lady?" Lois asked Brian on who he asked on that day.
"Well, actually, her name is Shauna Parks." Brian said his response which shocked everyone that knew that person.
"Meg and Persephone's teacher?" Lois and Emily said out loud.
As Frank and John did the spit take on Peter from learning that brian is dating the twins teacher and they heard Peter scream.
"Aaaaaaaaha!" Peter screamed from the milk was spilt on his body.
"Yeah, we really hit it off. She's great." Brian said as he is really happy that
"Brian on a date. That'll be more pathetic than that game of Marco Polo I played with Helen Keller." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about him playing game of Marco Polo with Helen Keller.
Cutaway
We see Stewie and Helen Keller in a swimming pool with Stewie swimming around with his eyes closed but Helen is just standing there doing nothing.
"Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco" Stewie repeated.
But Helen would never say Polo, since she couldn't hear him. She also didn't move, as she couldn't see anything.
Cutaway Ends
Now we join Brian and Shauna at Ristorante as they go out on a date.
I don't know. I mean, I think I want to have kids someday. Shauna answers Brain question of having kids someday.
"Oh, I love kids. I just love them. I can't get enough of those little buggers, let me tell you. You know, it's like I tell the other volunteers down at the adoption center: My God, you know, if I could just take all the orphans in the world and just, you know, buy a farm somewhere and let them all run free, you know. Just let them do little macaroni-art pictures of their dead parents." Brian said as he brag about what he do when he has kids someday.
Now the conversation was quite so Brian asked Shauna something.
"So what's it like to work at a high schooI?" Brian asked her about working at the school.
"Oh, Brian, I just love it. Working at James Woods High is great." Shauna said as she enjoys working at the school.
"You know, I've always wondered why they named if after James Woods, you know? I mean, there's got to be somebody more deserving. Like, just, you know, off the top of my head, I don't know Sidney Poitier, Reggie Jackson, Martin Luther King You know, those are just three names that come to mind." Brian said as he suggests changing the name of James Woods Regional High School.
"Brian, that's a great idea. We should get them to rename the school after Dr. King." Shauna said as she being black, likes Brian's idea of honoring Martin Luther King Jr.
"You like Dr. King? Because I love Dr. King. I love M. L. K! Man, he's my guy. He's I mean, I love all black people, you know. I mean, if I could take all the black people in the world and just, you know, just buy a farm somewhere and let them all Whoa, you know what, that actually didn't really come out right." Brian said as he tries to impress her but he made what he said worse.
"Brian, relax. I'm having a great time. You don't have to try so hard." Shauna tells brian that she is having a good tiome.
"Great. Great. 'Cause, you know, I'm not okay with slavery. Just so we're clear. I mean, if I was offered a slave, I'd say no." Brian said as he tells her that he not into slavery.
Now we join Lois tucking in Frank Jr and Stewie to bed in their room.
"By the way, Bonnie we just finished reading The Da Vinci Code at my book club. You were right. It's terrific." Lois said as she was talking to bonnie on the phone about the book she and Meg read at book club.
"Let me guess. Some flowery, 300-page, menopausaI masturbatory aid." Stewie asked as lois put the babies into their cribs while Frank Jr grabs the book to read it.
"I loved it. And the chapters are only about two pages long. So you feeI really smart when you read it." Lois said it out loud which piss off the babies.
"Take it outside, Grandma Lois." Frank Jr said as he tells her to go outside the room if she wants to talk to bonnie on the phone.
As Lois leave the room she turn to the babies in their cribs.
"Good night, my sweeties." Lois said as she turn off the lights and closed the door until Frank Jr turn on the light so he and Stewie can read The Da Vinci Code.
"Oh, yes. Just as I thought: France, art murder?" Frank Jr said until he saw the book had murder in its pages and Stewie was amazed by that.
"Well, this is a bigger surprise than that time Peter vanished into thin air." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about him and peter.
Cutaway
We see Stewie eating cereal while Peter sits next to him playing peekaboo.
"Hey, Stewie. Peekaboo!" Peter said.
"Yes, I see you, fat man" Stewie answered.
"Where's Daddy?" Peter asked.
"Where did you go? Oh, this is impossible. I can hear you, but I can't see... Well, he must really be gone!" Stewie said as he picked his nose.
"Peekaboo!" Peter shouted.
"How the hell did you do that? I thought you'd disappeared, otherwise I wouldn't have picked my... Great, leave when I'm in the middle of a sentence" Stewie said as Peter closed his eyes.
Cutaway Ends
Now we return to the Mallque/Griffin house4 at night as we see peter watching TV with the boys at the living room until Brian walks in.
"Hey, there you are, Brian. We're all set for tonight, right?" Peter asked him if he ready for hang out tonight.
"Oh, tonight's no good, Peter. I have another date with Shauna." Brian said his response of no since he has a date with Shauna.
"Oh, come on. Again? Well, fine, Brian. If that girI is more important to you than me then I guess I'll have to find a new best paI." Peter said as he complain about Brian never having time for him so he decides to find a new best paI.
Now we join Peter and the boys at bedrock inside the house of Barney Rubble
"Boy, Barney, it's sure been great hanging out with you." Peter said as he waits for Barney behind the bathroom door.
"I've enjoyed it, too, Peter." Barney said in agreement.
"Hey, you almost done in the john? 'Cause we're late for darts." Peter asked him if he is done with his business.
"All done, Peter." Barney said as he leave the bathroom as he used a pelican serves as Barney's toilet.
"You think you have a crap job." The pelican serves as Barney's toilet, sarcastically remarking.
Now we are in the living room with Peter watching TV with Meg and Frank plus John and Persephone.
"I don't need Brian to watch TV with. I got you two, Meg and Persephone." Peter said as he has the twins to hang out with today.
Until Peter does something stupid which piss off Frank and John.
"Hey, what's that? What's that? Is that a dog? Is that another dog on the TV, huh? You see that? Go get it. Go get it." Peter said as he treats them like Brian.
This also piss off their boyfriend even more as peter continues to treat the girls as his replacement dogs.
"What's that? Who's that? Who's that? Oh! Who's that? Who's there? Is there somebody at the door? Somebody at the door? Huh? Somebody at the door? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you-." Peter said until the twins couldn't take it anymore.
We're not dogs, you fat bastard! Meg and Persephone screaming at Peter.
Now we join everyone in the kitchen eating breakfast as Stewie and Frank Jr are still reading the book.
"Wow, Stewie, Frank Jr, you're both up early." Emily said as she takes a seat next to her baby brother.
"I'm up still. I've been reading all night." Stewie said as Lois came to talk to them until Frank Jr stops her.
"Hang on, Grandma. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on." Frank Jr said as he continues reading the book.
"Well, we loved this book. Nothing like a good story to recharge your batteries." Stewie said until both Frank Jr and Stewie fell asleep on their oatmeal.
That's when Brian came in threw the kitchen door.
"Hey, everybody, check this out." Brian said as he give Lois today's newspaper.
"This is wonderful. Look at this, Peter." Lois said as she passes the newspaper to peter and he reads it.
"Two hundred die in train derailment." Oh, God, Lois. That is just morbidly obese. Peter said as he read the wrong thing.
"No, no, Peter. Right here. I mentioned to Shauna that they ought to change the name of James Woods High to Martin Luther King Jr, and she really ran with it. The schooI board is voting on it tomorrow." Brian said as he suggests changing the name of James Woods Regional High School during his date. Shauna, who is black, likes Brian's idea of honoring Martin Luther King Jr., and the board holds a meeting to consider the name change.
"Congratulations, Brian." Lois said as he and the family congratulate him for doing that.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait. You and your girlfriend are taking the name James Woods off the high school?" Peter said as he question on why change the name of the school.
"Well, yes. For Martin Luther King." Brian said his answer
"That's crazy. You're gonna name the school after the star of Space 1999?" Peter said that MLK was from the star of Space 1999.
"No, that's Martin Landau. "Brian said his answer.
"Oh." Peter said until Frank Jr question Brian.
"The guy who played Sheneneh?" Frank Jr asked Brian about MLK.
"That's Martin Lawrence." Brian said his answer to that response
"The drunk crooner?" John asked Brian about MLK was a drunk crooner.
"That's Dean Martin." Brian said his answer to that response
"The drink that's best served on the rocks?" Tyler asked Brian about the name of the school
"Martini & Rossi." Brian said his answer to that response
"The guy on The West Wing?" Frank asked Brian about the name of the school
"Martin Sheen." Brian said his answer to that response
"The guy from Platoon?" Peter asked again if MLK was from platoon.
"Charlie Sheen." Brian said his answer to that response
"No, no, the other guy from Platoon." Frank Jr asked for another person.
"It's.?" Brian said as he tries to answer that response
"Come on." Peter, John, Tyler, Frank and Frank Jr said all together.
"Willem Dafoe." Brian said his answer to that response.
"No, it's Tom Berenger." Peter said as Brian got it wrong.
"We were looking for Tom Berenger." Frank said as they were look for this answer for their pretend game show.
"Well, thanks for playing. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Frank Jr said as he thanks Brian for play the game.
"Oh, that's okay. I had a lot of fun. I'm a big fan of the show. Wait a minute!" Brian said as he enjoyed the game until he realized they got off topic.
"Peter, Martin Luther King was an inspiration to an entire generation. He was a driving force behind the civil rights movement. Lois explain to peter about who Martin Luther King is but peter didn't listen.
"Lois, we're talking about Rhode Island's own James Woods here. He's a hero in these parts, huh? Use your head. Peter said as he explains that James Woods is Rhode Island's hero.
"Peter, you're acting like an idiot." Brian said as he insults peter for being an idiot.
"Oh, yeah? I don't like the way you've been acting lately. I think it has a lot to do with that woman you've been spending so much time with." Peter said as he insults Brian for hang out Shauna.
"Why don't you just mind your own damn business, Peter?" Brian said as he tells him off.
"Will you guys stop fighting, please?" Meg shouted at them as she and Persephone are piss off.
"What's wrong with Meg and Persephone?" Chris asked his mother on what is wrong with the griffin twins.
"Oh, nothing. It's just her time of the month." Lois said as she tells her son that the twins are having their periods.
"Not again." The sheep saying as he apparently groans about his "job" as Meg and Persephone's tampon.
Now we going Brian and Shauna at James woods high school as they meet up with the board holds a meeting to consider the name change.
"Well, Mr. Griffin, your arguments for the school's name change are quite compelling." The Boardman said
"Brian, I think you did it." Shauna said as she hug Brian for a job well done.
Oh, amen. By the way, I just want to remind everybody to put their e-mall address on the list in the back there so we can send you our quarterly newsletter. It's chock-full of goings-on around the schooI. It's got a word jumble. A little hint: all the answers have to do with something here at the schooI. Bruce said in agreement.
"Yes, I'm sure we're all looking forward to that. Now, unless there is any objection, I move that the board pass this measure." The Boardman said as he making his final judgement until peter came in threw the gym door.
"I've got an objection, and so does this man." Peter said as he opens the door to James wood himself.
"James Woods!" The Boardman said out loud.
"Oh, my God." Shauna said in shocked.
"I don't believe it." Brian said also in shocked for what has peter done.
"Hi. How are you? Hello, everyone." James woods said hi to everyone in the gym.
"He brought James Woods here? What the hell is he doing?" Shauna asked in question on how peter did this.
"Believe me, Peter does stupid things all the time. That's why he got fired from that airline." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter time working at the airline.
Cutaway
We see Peter as a pilot. A stewardess arrived.
"Coffee for you, Capt. Griffin?" the stewardess asked.
"Thank you, stewardess. Hey, where are we right now?" Peter asked in a joking way.
"On an airplane?" the stewardess asked.
"No. This room. What is this room called?" Peter asked in a joking way.
"The flight deck?" the stewardess asked.
"No." Peter asked in a joking way.
"Control room?" the stewardess asked.
"No." Peter asked in a joking way.
"Cockpit?" the stewardess asked.
"Oh, God! I told you I'd get her to say it. Oh, God! All right. Go on. Get out of here" Peter laughed out loud.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back to the podium with James woods.
Look, I came as soon as Peter contacted my website. Let me just say, I'm all in favor of renaming the school after Dr. King. James woods said as he who says it's OK to change the name of the school.
"What?" Peter said in shocked
"Wow! A big star and yet so humble. James Woods High School it remains." The Boardman said as he is impressed by Woods' humility, the board decides not to change the school's name.
"What?" Shauna said in shocked
"You can't be serious." Brian said in complaint as he is furious with Peter's interference with his and Shauna's idea.
"Yes! This is more exciting than that time Frank Jr and I got to ride the washing machine." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about himself and his grandson playing with the washing machine.
Cutaway
We see Peter and Frank Jr having fun while being inside the washing machine as Lois does the laundry.
Cutaway Ends
Now we join the Mallque/Griffin house at daytime as the family at Kitchen eating lunch with James woods.
"Man, what a great lunch, Lois. Thank you so much for having me over." James woods said as he thanks Lois for having him over.
"Well, it's not often we get to meet celebrities." Lois said as she enjoys having a famous person in their house.
"Yeah, except when I was Christina Aguilera's manager." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about himself being Christina Aguilera's manager.
Cutaway
We see Christina Aguilera singing at a recording studio. Frank Jr arrived.
"Okay, let me just go ahead and stop you right there. You sound terrible, all right? You're doing this thing, which is just, you know... What the hell is that? And you look like if I touched you, you'd be sticky... and frankly, you smell bad. You're pretty much offensive to all five senses" Frank Jr said.
"That's only four" Christina argued.
"Well, actually, you know when you smell something and it gets stuck in there... and you can sort of taste it? Yeah. Well, I'm tasting you right now and it tastes awful. Truly disgusting, like salty garbage" Frank Jr said as Christina licked her armpit.
"Yeah, I totally taste it" Christina agreed.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back at the kitchen as Brian comes in threw the door.
"Oh, Brian, there you are. Look who's here for lunch." Lois said
"Hello, Mr. Woods. Peter tells me you're in films. Peter, can I talk to you in the living room?" Brian asked peter to talk at the living room.
As they enter the living room with John and Tyler hiding behind the stairs.
"I can't believe you went to that much effort just to sabotage me. You're a jerk, you know that?" Brian said as he is furious with Peter for his interference with his and Shauna's idea.
"Listen, at least I wasn't trying to change the name of the school to impress my girlfriend." Peter said as he stick to Brian and his accuse.
"Now that is not true." Brian said in responses.
"Oh, yeah? Then why did you pick Martin Luther King? Why not Ronald Reagan? He was always fun, especially in his later years." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Ronald Reagan later years.
Cutaway
We see Ronald Reagan outside of a building.
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall. Tear it down. Reagan smash. Reagan smash" Ronald kept punching the walls of a building. Inside, it was a fast food restaurant.
"What's that?" employee 1 asked.
"Oh, it's just Reagan. Just leave him alone. He'll tire himself out" employee 2 answered.
"Reagan sleepy" Ronald slept on the ground.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back to the living room.
"You're an ass, you know that? You're just jealous because I'm hanging around with someone else." Brian said as he is still furious with Peter's interference with his and Shauna's idea.
"Hey, I don't care, man. Girls are stupid anyway." Peter said as he doesn't care about Brian life.
"Well, fine. Then maybe I'll go see her right now." Brian said as he leave towards the door.
"Fine! I'll just hang out with James Woods." Peter said as he decides to hang out with James wood as James enter the living room.
"Well, Peter, thanks for lunch. Guess I'll be heading back to old L. A. now." James woods said as he has to leave to L.A. real soon.
"You're leaving? Oh, man, I thought maybe you could stick around and, you know, maybe you and me could be pals." Peter said as he asked him to be friends and hang out.
"You mean just hang around like regular people." James woods said as he asked they will hang like regular people.
"Regular people, sure, yeah." Peter said his response.
"That does sound appealing. You know what? I'm gonna check back into my hotel." James woods said
"Oh, screw that. You'll stay with me right here. Come on, we'll have a campout in the yard." Peter said as he leads him to the yard for a campout.
"Wicked cooI." James woods said his response.
Now we join Frank Jr, Peter and James woods camping outside the Mallque/Griffin house.
"His sweater was neatly folded on the grave so we went back to the car and the severed hook was hanging from the door handle because the calls were coming from inside the house." Frank Jr said as he scared the duo with is story.
"Ooh! Ooh!" Both James woods and Peter said as they chuckle
"That's a scary story, Peter. It's almost as scary as boo!" James woods said as he scared peter.
"Ahh!" Peter said as he was frighten by that scared but they all laugh for having fun.
"Boy, James Woods, you're the best friend a guy could ever have." Peter said as he an James woods are become very good friends.
"I feeI the same way about you, Peter." James woods said as they performed "I've Got James Woods" song. The song is sung in the tune of "You Two" from the 1968 musical film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Peter:
Someone to care for, to be there for. I have James Woods.
As peter dance around the kitchen then destroy his family photo to make a picture with James woods.
James:
Someone to do for, muddle through for. You have James Woods.
As we see James woods get a present for peter from under the bed and peter opens it to reveal a t-shirt that said I'm with James woods with a red arrow pointing towards him.
Peter:
Someone to share joy or despair with, whichever betides you.
As the scene show them on a boat ride at a lake, then riding a two sited bike and they on a type rope.
James:
Life becomes a chore...
Then it show Peter and James doing the hedges together like buddies.
Both:
Unless you're living for…
Then the scene show the hedges look like themselves.
Peter:
Someone to tend to, be a friend to. I have James Woods.
Then the scene shows peter making pancakes for James woods and gives them to him in bed. Then the scene shows peter holding toilet paper for him as they were inside a bathroom.
James:
Someone to strive for, do or die for. You have James Woods.
Now they are at a hospital as James is giving blood to peter for a blood transfusion, then he writes his name with his blood on Peter's shirt.
Both:
It's true, we two, have a likewise point of view.
As they scene show them playing golf, then they were eating hotdogs at haven brothers and final they were posing nude for an art class.
James:
Because James Woods has you.
Then they were doing a ventriloquist routine as peter was the dummy and James woods does his voice.
Peter:
And I have James Woods, too!
As they scene ends with them hugging each other.
Now we join Brian going to meet Shauna at the movie theater to watch, "I'm sleeping with someone at paramount starring Ashley Judd.
"Shauna? Shauna?" Brian said as he tries to spot Shauna in the theater?
"Brian, over here." Shauna said as she is eating next to mayor west.
"I couldn't save your seat." Shauna said as her apologies to Brian for not saving a seat.
"I know I'm late, I apologize." Brian said as he tells her that he was the one who is late.
"Hello, fellow moviegoer." Adam west said to the couple.
"Sorry, I couldn't get him to move." Shauna said as she apologies to Brian for not get rid of Adam west off his seat.
"Where have you been?" Shauna asked Brian on where he has been.
"I just had it out with Peter." Brian said as he explain s that he and peter had a fight.
"Would you like some corn? I brought it from home." Adam west asked them if they would like some corn.
"Peter? You're still not friends with that idiot after what he did?" Shauna said in anger.
"Well, I mean, that may be a little harsh. I'm not going to avoid Peter like the drunk chick at a party." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about a drunk chick at a party.
Cutaway
The scene shifts to a party.
"I just smoked the wrong side of a cigarette! Who wants to go swimming? This song is about me!" a drunk girl partied so hard that she crashed on top of the stereo.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back to theater with our couple still talk in-between Adam west
Look, Brian, Peter is a jerk. And as far as I'm concerned, it's either him or me. Shauna said as She is upset that he still talks to Peter and makes Brian choose between her and Peter.
Shauna, come on, why you want to play a brother like that? Brian said
"I think I have my answer." Shauna said as she leaves Brian in the theater alone with the mayor. This caused them eventually call off their relationship.
You know what? I will have some of that. Brian said as he takes some popcorn from Adam's bucket until he notice that it was cream corn.
"What the hell is this?" Brian asked the mayor about the corn that Adam ate.
"Creamed corn. I brought it from home, because I don't like the creamed corn they have here. It's too crunchy." Adam west said his response.
Now we are back to the Mallque/Griffin house in the hallway with Brian as he comes from down stairs.
"Peter, I'm sorry, I was a jerk. Let's be friends again. Okay." Brian said as he makes it to his friend room.
"Peter, can I talk to you for a second?" Brian asked peter from behind the door.
"What is it, Brian?" Peter answer him.
"Listen, I'm sorry for everything that's happened between us and I figure, I don't know, I thought maybe we could be friends again, huh? What do you say? I kind of miss sleeping at the foot of your bed." Brian said as he apologies to peter and he wants to be friends again.
"I don't think so." Peter said his response
"Come on, can't we just go…" Brian said as he opens the door to see James woods on his spot on the bed.
"I tried to tell you." Peter said as he tries to tell him.
"This is my spot now, Brian." James woods said as he tells Brian this is his spot now.
"Oh. I see." Brian said as he close the door.
As they went to sleep, Frank Jr was also in the bed sleeping and he kick out James woods off the bed since he doesn't like him taking spot from people while he is sleeping.
This caused peter to look in awe on how cute his grandson is.
"Look, Lois. Lois, look, look, look. Frank Jr's dreaming he's running." Peter said as he wakes up Lois to make her see her grandson sleep and he is making running movement.
Now we see James enter the bathroom in the hall to see Emily brush her teeth in a nightgown.
"Hi Emily." James said as he gets a boner.
"Oh hi Mr. Woods, what are you doing here?" Emily asked as h she feels uncomfortable by the way he is looking at her.
As he try to make out with her and touch her boobs and also her pelvis.
She would have lots of reasons for to be uncomfortable with that so she kicks him in the nuts.
Now we join peter and James at the park playing Frisbee at the park.
"Okay, James, you ready? Now catch it in your mouth like Brian." Peter said as he throw the Frisbee to James woods hoping he catch it in his mouth like Brian but it falls off his mouth.
"James, you got to bite down." Peter said as he tells him to bite down on the Frisbee.
"I got a question, Peter. Motivation. What is my motivation?" James asked him what his motivation in this game is.
"Just throw it back to me." Peter asking him to throw it back.
"You know what? This is boring. I got a better idea." James said as he got a better idea instead of this game.
Now we join peter, Frank Jr and James in the living room.
"James, do we really have to watch Videodrome?" Peter asked him if he has to watch this.
"Yeah, I think you're really going to appreciate all the subtle nuances in my performance." James woods said as he star his program on the tv.
"Shh, See? For example, see how even though this other guy is talking your eye is drawn to me. James said as he explain about himself being in the program.
"Oh, Yeah, that's, uh, that's neat." Peter said in bored tone.
"Um, is there going to be any nudity?" Frank Jr asked James if his show has nudity in it.
"Yes, uh, I get naked." James said as Emily comes in and grabs Frank Jr.
"Let's go out to eat, my baby nephew" Emily said as they reach the door to leave.
"Awe, I was about to see James woods naked and kick his butt for it!" Frank Jr said as he is being drag out of the front door and it is close by Emily.
Now we join John and Tyler with Stewie and Brian at a the diner
"You know, it's bad enough that Peter and I were fighting, but ever since he met James Woods, it's like I don't even exist." Brian said as he complains that he miss his friend and he is jealous of James wood excluding him out of everything.
"Wow, you and Mr. Griffin must be close than we thought!" John said in shocked.
"Now that's a true man bond, Brian!" Tyler said in awe of such friendship.
"You really care about a man who used to try and pick up girls at the Miss U.S.A. Pageant?" Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about peter being at the Miss U.S.A. Pageant.
Cutaway
We see Peter at a fashion model.
"Hey, how's it going? I'm Peter. You want to go out sometime? Maybe you got a Saturday night free... You know what? To hell with you, then. Yeah, go to hell" Peter cursed as model 1 posed and left.
"I'm Peter. What do you say you and me go get a couple of beers, maybe we could... Fine. You know what? You got mosquito-bite bitch anyway. I don't care. I don't care. I don't need you" Peter told model 2.
"Hey, how are you? I'm Peter. I got a coupon for Sizzler with your name on it. Maybe the two of us could... You know what? I don't care. You're a bitch" Peter snapped at model 3 as she left.
Cutaway Ends
Now we are back to the diner
"Well, Brian, I know you're upset now, but if there's anything I've learned in this life, it's that you can't let the little things, Hey!" Stewie said as he tries to make Brian feel better until he spots somebody.
As Stewie sees two hookers enter the diner.
"Hey! Hey! Where's my money?!" Stewie shout at the hooker on where is his money.
As The hookers exit by running which piss off stewie.
"Don't you walk out on me?" Stewie said as he leaves the diner to chase the hookers.
"Well we got to go Brian since its Stewie, let's go Tyler!" John said as he and Tyler get off their seats.
"Right behind you, J-man!" Tyler said as they leaves the diner to chase the hookers and Stewie.
Now we join Peter and Frank at the Drunken Clam. That's when Brian came inside to get a drink and he sit right next to them.
"Hey." Brian said hi to the duo.
"Hey." Frank and Peter said hi back to Brian.
"So where's your good buddy, James Woods?" Brian asked Peter on where is James woods.
"Eh, Turns out he wasn't very good at catching stuff with his mouth." Peter answer him as he tells him that James wood.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Peter asked Brian on where Shauna,
"Same problem." Brian said as they made a joke.
"Whoa!" Brian said
"Ooh!" Peter said
"Hehehehehe/hahahahaha!" Peter and Brian laugh together by their joke. While their laughter dies down it caused Frank to realized that Brian and Peter patch their differences at the Drunken Clam.
Now the trio is returning home, they find James Woods is still there.
"James, what are you doing here?" Peter asked James wood why is he on the dinner room with diner.
"What's going on?" Brian asked peter on what going on?
"Yeah and why is there cold roast beef?" Frank asked on why is the food is cold.
"Hello, Peter. Would you like some cold roast beef?" James asked peter if he would like some cold roast beef.
"What do you mean?" Peter asked him while being scared out of his pants.
"I don't know, Peter, I had this crazy idea that you and I were supposed to have dinner tonight. But I guess you had other plans, huh?" James said as he is piss off by peter not hang out with him.
"Brian and I were just at The Clam." Peter said as he tells him that he was hanging out with Brain.
"Oh, that's fun. That sounds like you had a fun time. And where would I fit in with the fun time? Where does James Woods fit into the fun, you?" James said as as he becomes jealous and becomes very crabby towards Peter and Brian.
"Look, James, you're acting kind of weird." Frank said as he is freaky out
"I'll act however I want to act, you son of a bitch! I'm sorry, Peter, I didn't mean that to you son." James said as he freaks out Frank, Peter and Brian
"Boy, I haven't been this creeped out since I saw that episode of Star Trek." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about an episode of Star Trek.
Cutaway
The scene shifts to a scene of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
"Number One?" Patrick Stewart asked Johnathan Frakes.
"Yes, Captain?" Jonathan Frakes response to his captain.
"Let me ask you something. If I whispered in your ear that Commander Worf's head... looks like a fanny, would you join me in a laugh?" Patrick Stewart said.
"Yeah, I could get in on that." Jonathan Frakes said his response.
"All right! Here it comes! Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny!" Patrick Stewart said as the crew of the Enterprise-D laughing at Picard's remark that "Worf's head looks like a fanny."
"You can both suck my ridges." Michael Dorn said in anger.
"Get a sense of humor, Rocky Dennis." Patrick Stewart said.
Cutaway Ends
"Boy, I tell you, Brian, James Woods has been getting kind of obsessive ever since you and me started hanging out again." Peter
"How are you going to handle that?" Brian
"We got to come up with some crazy scheme like the kids on That '70s Show." Peter said as he tries to set up a cutaway.
And I think I got it. Emily said as she appears behind the seat of the car, as it sets up a cutaway with them being in That '70s Show.
Cutaway
Emily, Frank, Peter and Brian jump just like a scene from That 70s Show.
Cutaway Ends
Now back to the house as Emily, Frank Jr, Frank, Brain and Peter plan to get rid of James woods by trapping him in a box with a trail of candy.
"All right, that's the last of the Reese's Pieces." Brian said as he finish the trail of candy.
"Good. Now we wait." Emily said as they wait for James wood to fall for their trap.
"Peter? Where are ya? Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy."James Woods said as he spots candy on the floor and he follows a trail of candy.
The next piece of candy leads into a wooden crate; when James picks up the piece of candy. Both Frank Jr and Frank pull the string down, trapping James Woods, as Emily, Peter and Brian hold the trap down.
"Boy, I hope it's James Woods." Peter said as he hopes that inside the crate is James Woods
"Me too, Cause if its Grandpa again, I'm gonna get really pissed off!" Frank Jr said as he set on the crate.
Now we join Peter and Brian in the bed watch something.
"It's good to have you back in that spot, Brian." Peter said as he is happy to see Brain back on his spot on the bed.
"It's good to be back, Peter." Brian said as he feels good to be back on the bed.
Now we join ourselves at John and Tyler rooms in the basement with Emily, Frank Jr, John and Tyler having a sleepover.
"I'm glad that James woods is gone and I got even with him!" Emily said as she got even with him.
"By the way, what did you end up doing with James Woods?" John asked Emily and Frank Jr on what did they end up doing with James Woods.
"Don't worry, John. He's being examined by top men." Emily said
"Who? Tyler asked as well on what they ended up doing with James Woods.
"Top men." Frank Jr said as he tells them that Woods is then sent to be studied by "Top Men".
As the scene change to a box containing James Woods being shipped by top men a la Raiders of the Ark.
The end of the episode is a reference to both the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark and E.T.
Chapter Ended
I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.
