A/N: The song coming from Kurt's alarm clock is "Falling Slowly" from Once. I own nothing.
Kurt half expected Blaine to get out of the car and run after him. Hoped he'd look behind him only to find Blaine a few feet away running to catch up with his lead. It would be like in a movie when the couple fights: the girl starts to leave and the guy is so heartbroken that he runs to her and takes her in his arms and holds her tight, refusing to let go, and kisses her so deeply she forgets completely why they were fighting to begin with. Then she winds up gushing about how much she loves him and he chants a couple of rounds of "I'm so sorry, baby"s and all is right with their world again.
But Blaine didn't get out of the car to run after him. And when Kurt looked behind him, hoping to see Blaine trying to catch up to him so that he could wrap him in his arms, kiss him and fix them, all he saw was Blaine reversing his car out of the driveway and driving off into the night, leaving him behind without a single word. A choked sob rang loudly through the empty night air around him before Kurt finally turned the doorknob and walked into the house.
Carole immediately sat up straight in her chair and made to move toward Kurt when she saw the state he was in. She wasn't blind, after all, and when Kurt came stumbling into the house (quite literally) with tears pouring steadily down his face she obviously knew something bad had happened and/or something was severely wrong. She walked to him, put her arm around his shoulder gently, and asked if he'd wanted to talk about it. She had offered to pop in a romantic comedy and grab some ice cream from the freezer while he poured his heart out for as long as he needed. When he turned down a lady chat for the first time he could ever remember, she looked guilty and disappointed but had let it go, knowing he probably just needed some time to himself. He felt badly for not sharing with her, under any other circumstance he would welcome their chats and pour his heart out without a second thought, but right now all he wanted was to curl up into a ball and die.
Kurt removed his coat and put it in the closet. Then he went down to bed, got into it fully clothed, and sobbed so violently that every muscle in his body burned, crying out in protest and a silent plea to stop and sleep. He was sure Carole could hear him downstairs and felt even more guilty for putting her through hearing him sob without having told her what was happening, but he couldn't find it in him to stop. Even though it was physically hurting him to continue, now his throat was dry, scratchy and was beginning to ache as well, he felt like it would hurt even more to stop.
After a while he heard the door creak silently open and a slight burst of light shone through the crack. He looked up, expecting to see Carole at the door (almost hoping she would be there to sit beside him on the bed and run her fingers through his hair as he cried, like his mother used to, until he fell asleep), but instead saw Finn. Ugh. Not now, Finn. But then he spoke, and he sounded unsure and nervous, and Kurt could tell how much he really cared about him, how worried he was about the obvious hurt he was experiencing. He felt a slight tug on his heart for the taller boy.
"So, um. I know this p-probably isn't the best time or anything, and I don't really know what happened, but um, your phone is going off like crazy and I finally went and got it out of your coat. And i-it's Blaine. I figured if you were this upset about something you'd probably want to talk to him about it, even if you won't wanna talk to me o-or Mom," Finn said, handing Kurt his phone. When he got close enough to see Kurt's face, how puffy and pink it had become, how red and swollen his eyes were, how tear stains ran down his face, he visibly cringed and Kurt knew he must definitely look as horrible as he felt. If Finn of all people thought he looked bad, he definitely looked horrible.
After taking the phone from Finn the other boy looked extremely awkward, unsure what to do next. Kurt could tell he was torn between leaving him alone so that he could call Blaine and talk to him about whatever was bothering him, or staying with him and trying to make him feel better somehow. When the silence became too awkward and Finn realized that Kurt wasn't looking down at his phone or trying to call Blaine, he spoke, his voice barely a whisper. Kurt wasn't sure if he was whispering because he didn't want to make Kurt feel worse physically, or if he was purely embarrassed by his words. When he asked "Well, um, if, um, you're not gonna call Blaine. Do you want me to stay with you, maybe? I don't mind bringing my computer in here. We could watch a m-movie or something." Kurt simply stared at him, trying to figure out when Finn had actually begun to care this much about him. Finn took the silence to mean Kurt wasn't interested and started speaking nervously again. "Or, yaknow, if you don't want me around I could just bring you some tea, or some extra blankets, or soup. Wh-whatever you want," he finished awkwardly, sliding his right hand behind his neck and scratching through his hair as he stared around the room awkwardly. Kurt could tell he was practically crawling out of his skin with discomfort and that he probably wished he hadn't even bothered to come into the room in the first place. He could tell that Finn really wanted to make him feel better but just genuinely wasn't sure how. He felt another little tug at his heart at the thought.
When Kurt finally spoke his voice was raspy and deep from all of the sobbing. "Um, y-yeah, sure. A tea would b-be nice." Finn started to turn and leave the room when Kurt said, "And you c-can also bring a movie back with you if you want. I pr-probably won't watch any of it, but it would okay to have some c-company, I guess. Your mom c-can come in too, i-i-if she's still awake." He cursed himself for not being able to stop crying (it was so embarrassing, not to mention really awkward, to be this way around Finn), but was feeling better at his change of heart. He shouldn't have turned Carole down to begin with. He was definitely not in any state to be alone right now, and some company to distract him could make him feel better. He also really did hope that Carole would sit with him, curl him up into her arms and run her fingers through his hair while he cried himself to sleep.
Another rather large tug pulled at his heart at the thought that, although he'd normally go to Burt with these things and cry on his dad's shoulder and talk until he felt better, he still had people around him that would love him, care for him, and not leave no matter how terrible he felt. Or looked, he added to himself as an afterthought. Then he thought of Blaine, and how he'd thought over the past few months that he had become one of those few people who loved him. Maybe he was wrong. Another sob escaped past his lips before he looked down at his phone and saw it light up in his hand. He saw that he had 12 missed calls, all from Blaine, and now 4 new text messages. He couldn't bring himself to listen to the voicemails or read the texts. If they were good or bad they would hurt all the same. He turned his phone off, put it on his bedside table next to his alarm clock, and turned over to face the opposite wall.
He was still crying silently to himself when he heard the teapot screaming in the kitchen above his room, heard Finn's loud, thunderous footsteps on the stairs (this time he wasn't sneaking down to check on Kurt so there was no need to be quiet on the stairs) and heard Carole's gentle ones follow. When the two came into the room Kurt smiled a genuine smile through his tears. Finn placed the tea on the bedside table where his lamp stood, the table he was facing, and went to sit on the floor at the foot of the bed after popping a DVD into the player. Just as Kurt had hoped, Carole curled up right next to him in bed, disregarding his usual demands for plenty of personal space, held him in her arms, and ran her fingers through his hair as he cried silently into her shoulder. I guess all moms just know these things.
"I re-really l-love you both," he said quietly, taking Carole and especially Finn, who turned around to face him on the bed, by surprise. "I know I mi-might not say it all that much, and s-sometimes I don't even sh-show it. B-B-But without you guys, I'd… I'd…" Kurt couldn't even get the sentence out, his heart physically aching at the idea of being completely alone, or with foster parents who wouldn't care for him and sit with him while he cried. "W-Well, I wouldn't be here. And to b-be honest, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. I miss my dad every single minute of everyday," he said, a small sob escaped his lips as Carole squeezed him tighter, "but I know th-that if he could have h-handpicked people for me to wind up with when he h-had to leave, he'd have picked you guys, especially you, Carole." He looked up at her to find tears spilling from her own eyes.
"We love you too, honey," she replied, glassy eyes gazing directly into his red, swollen ones. "We'll always be here for you. We're a family now. Always know that. Okay?"
"Yeah. I mean, I may not say it all that much either, but I love this little family we've got here, dude. You're like my little brother and I always wanna protect you and be there for you and stuff," Finn voiced awkwardly from the floor. He smiled a small, shy smile at Kurt and Kurt returned one through his tears. Even though I'm the older one, Finn, he thought to himself as he smiled.
"Now just try and relax. Even if you don't want to talk about it, we're both here and everything will be alright," Carole assured him, lying back on the bed and allowing him to remain curled up against her. Kurt tried to do as he was told, closed his eyes and thought to himself I really miss you dad, but I'm so glad they're here with me if you can't be.
With the thought of his father's smiling face swirling through his memory, and Carole's strong, protective, motherly arms wrapped tightly around him and stroking through his hair, and the notion that Finn loved him like a little brother, Kurt repressed his thoughts about Blaine and his heartbreak for the time being, calmed down his sobs, and drifted to sleep.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Kurt tossed and turned in his bed. He heard the alarm clock, heard the familiar song coming from it, he just didn't want to acknowledge it just yet. He figured Carole and Finn must have left after he had fallen asleep last night.
Falling slowly eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Kurt couldn't take much more of the encouraging words pouring out at him. Time that I won. Yeah. I bet it is. He finally reached over and pressed the off button. It was definitely going to be a long day. He thanked whatever power existed for having been able to sleep through the night without nightmares or bad dreams or dreams of Blaine. It would be bad enough to have to face him today at school, he'd rather have his dreams undisturbed for one night.
He lifted his aching body from his bed and went to the bathroom to shower, brush his teeth and start his morning skin care routine. He didn't even bother worrying too much about his hair. After dressing in loose jeans and a comfortable grey sweater (they were still great clothes but Kurt deemed them his less fashionable nice clothes, his 'comfortable fashionable') he grabbed his bag and made his way upstairs, skipping breakfast and heading straight for the car with Finn to head towards what he knew would be one of the worst days in a while. He knew Blaine would either try to talk to him or completely avoid him, and neither option pleased him very much. When they arrived at McKinley and Finn had practically pulled Kurt out of the passenger seat, he knew it was time to face the music. Taking deep breaths as he walked, he finally entered the building and walked straight to his locker, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone he passed. He wasn't even standing there a minute when a familiar voice spoke quietly beside him.
"Baby," Blaine said, practically whispering. And when Kurt looked up at him there were tears spilling out out of his red-rimmed, hazel-green eyes.
