Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.
I really need more readers, writing is boring when nobody is reading it :(
Ah well, here it is!
Chapter Twelve
~ Scars ~
JJ looked at the man next to her, trying to stop herself from crying as she tried to distance herself from the manic depressive Jasper and the Jasper she loved. She watched, not moving, as he traced the fading scars on her hands, looking at them intently.
"Do you remember how you got these?" He looked up at her, his eyes full of nothing but love, and JJ wondered if he even had any idea what he had done to her, where they were and why. She shook her head, trying to focus on him, pretending that what had just happened was someone else and not the amazing big brother who had protected her so many times when she was younger.
"How could I forget?" She smiled at him, looking down at the scars herself, wondering what was worse – how she got them, or what Jasper had done to her?
"I heard you scream, I was too late that time and when I saw your hands I knew that I would have to protect you from then on. You were so ill afterwards, I phoned Grandma Jareau and told her what had happened, she came to pick you up and you were gone for a few months, do you remember?" He sounded so childlike, JJ just watched his every move, surprised by the sudden change in mood despite having seen it in many unsubs she had interviewed.
"It wasn't your fault though, you know that right?" He shook his head, tears falling down his face as he looked up into his sisters eyes,
"I love you so much, that shouldn't have happened to you. If I had known, I would have found a way to protect you."
"This was all mums fault, not yours Jasper. She would have done something to you, and I would have still been hurt either way."
"You screamed so loud, I thought the neighbours would come running, but they never did.. why didn't they ever help us Jenny? Why didn't anyone care?" She sighed,
"I don't know, but we're free from her now. Thanks to you, we don't have to worry about it any more." JJ tried to stop her hands from shaking as held them in his own, looking into her eyes and smiling,
"I will protect you from him as well, I will make sure he goes away soon." She nodded, knowing he was talking about the 'other' Jasper, biting her lip as he pulled away and walked over to the other side of the room leaving her to look down at her hands, almost feeling the burning pain she had felt that day so long ago.
"I didn't do it mummy, I wouldn't steal from you!" A thirteen JJ looked up at the red faced mother in front of her, shaking her head as tears threatened to spill over.
"Do you know what the bible does to thieves and liars?" She shook her head, harder this time causing the tears to fall down her face, biting her lip as her mother walked off towards the cooker. Her heart stopped when her hand moved towards the switch, turning the oven on.
"I will teach you a lesson little girl, you will never lie to me or steal from me or anyone else again, you hear me?" JJ nodded, knowing she hadn't taken the 10p from her mums purse, wondering where Jasper was and why he didn't get accused.
She looked at the cooker, as the stove turned red signalling the heat and later the colour of her hands. She screamed loudly when her mum roughly grabbed her, pushing her towards the now boiling hot cooker.
"No
mummy, please, please, I didn't do it. You have to believe me, I will
give you the money out of my savings, don't do this mummy." She
shouted, her cries falling on deaf ears as her hands were suddenly
slammed down onto the cooker, she felt nothing for a second, the
shock suddenly setting in as she screamed loudly in pain, looking at
her already blistered hands, she wrinkled her nose at the smell of
meat cooking on a barbecue as she skin turned bright red, she just
stood there, her whole body shaking not even noticing Jasper run into
the kitchen.
"What happened? Are you okay Jenny Bear?" She felt him next to her but she couldn't speak, hot, large tears ran down her pale cheeks as she continued to stare at her hands,
"Nothing happened you stupid, little boy, get your sister to bed now!" Jasper nodded, scared of the woman in front of him as he grabbed JJ, pulling her towards the door by her waist. More tears fell down as she felt the pulsating throbs of pain run through her whole body, her face paled impossibly more as she began to feel sick and faint, the reality of the situation setting in.
"Come on bear, climb in." Jasper whispered to her, lifting up the covers to her bed and watching as she slipped in, trying to make sure nothing touched her hands. He watched as she closed her eyes, her whole body still shaking from pain and fear, he shook his head as he realized that his mother had gone too far this time.
Jasper was soon by her side after a few hours, his hand on her head, looking down at her concerned,
"She told me you put your hands on the cooker, but she put them on there didn't she?" She nodded slowly, wondering where her voice had gone.
"They look terrible, I am going to phone nan." She looked at her hands, hot tears running down her face,
"It really hurts Jazz." She whispered weakly, he sat on her bed as she carried on slipping in and out of a deep sleep, wondering if this was going to be it, wondering if it was over yet.
"I'm going to get help, I don't know what to do bear.." He whispered finally, sneaking out of her bedroom and creeping down the stairs to phone the only person he could think of that would believe them and help them.
It wasn't long until there was a knock in the door, arguing could be heard before two people stomped up the stairs.
"Oh no! My baby girl, my sweet angel." JJ opened her eyes slowly as she heard her nan, her granddad not far behind her – the only grandparents she could actually love, the only ones who had never hurt her or Jasper and had only shown love for them.
"Mummy hurt me." She managed to croak out, tears falling from her eyes as she looked at her grandparents. She cried out in pain as she felt her grandma's hand on top of hers, looking at her as she took a closer look at her tiny hand,
"Put your shoes on baby girl, it's all going to be okay from now on." JJ nodded, hoping that this would be the end. She snuggled into her granddad as he picked her up, for a moment holding back the thoughts that he was going to do the same as her other granddad, knowing that Grandpa Jareau would never hurt her.
"Where do you think you're going?" They all turned around as they got to the bottom of the stairs, facing her mother,
"I
am going to call a doctor, unless you want me to call one from here
and let them know exactly what happened?"
"Oh, you're all overreacting, she is going to be fine in the morning. Stupid, little girl only wants all this attention, why are you all giving her what she wants?"
"Mummy, you too it too far this time." Jasper shook his head, looking as his sister was taken out of the house.
JJ sighed loudly, attracting Jasper's attention and before she knew it she was screaming out in pain as a sharp object made contact with her head.
"Do you remember when you stabbed her?" He laughed at her,
"It was the last time she attacked you, the last time you stepped foot in that house. Was the mental hospital fun?" JJ shook her head,
"You cracked, do you remember? You finally cracked after fifteen years, and you stabbed her. Shame you didn't kill her though, I finished that for you." JJ looked up at him, anger evident in her eyes, hating it when that was brought up, the voices had told her to do it, they were telling her to do it now,
"Leave me alone." She glared at him, all the fear gone as she thought about that time when she had stabbed her own mother, how good it had felt. She knew she could kill Jasper, he was never a big man, one kick would do it and then she could grab the knife...
"You could have killed her.. why didn't you?" He grinned at her,
"Because I didn't know if I could cry in front of the police or not." She remained in her position, looking up at him and glaring, she hated him so much, she hated everyone for hurting her so much, she couldn't take much more.
~ .. ~
"We found a small barn about half an hour away from the house, do you think it's worth the shot?" Morgan looked up from the map at the team, all of them nodding, it had been four hours already, the local map being hard to find.
"Come on then." They all nodded, walking out of the room, hoping that they would be able to find the agent they missed so much before it was too late.
"Right, Emily and Morgan take the back, we will go in the front way." They all nodded, running off to their positions, slowly opening the door to listen to the conversation going on between the siblings,
"You could have killed her.. why didn't you?" Emily looked at Morgan, suddenly confused, noticing the same looks on the men's faces across from her, she noticed the unusual look on JJ's face, wondering what the hell was going on,
"Because I didn't know if I could cry in front of the police or not." Her voice didn't even show any signs of remorse,
"That's why they wouldn't talk to us about her being admitted to the mental hospital, everyone kept her nearly killing her mum a big secret..." Reid whispered to Hotch, shocked at how much JJ had changed in the few hours since they had all seen her last.
"I would have taken the wrap for you..." Jasper looked down at her, almost crying,
"What? And let you have all the glory for my work? Just because I had the guts to kill her, just because I finally snapped."
"You didn't do anything, that's why they locked you up in that place. Those little voices in your head finally came out.." Emily noticed then how different JJ's voice sounded,
"She is having some sort of episode, JJ is in there somewhere Morgan, I am sure she will come back to us when we get her out of here... she is going to be okay." He nodded, both unsure of what to do, following Hotch as he ran into the clearing with his gun held high. Emily kept her eye on JJ, shocked at the darkness of her eyes. She started to walk towards her carefully once Jasper was on the floor, smiling as she saw the familiar blue return to the blondes eyes.
"I am so sorry." She whispered, grabbing her head with her hands, trying to block out the voices,
"I never meant to hurt her, they made me do it... please you have to believe me." Emily nodded, looking up at everyone as she wrapped her arms around the shaking woman,
"Make them go away, I want them to go away." JJ whispered, tears falling down her face,
"They will, I promise that you will be okay soon. We will make sure of that." JJ nodded,
"Hotch?" She suddenly felt the need to have the man beside her, surprising even herself, he nodded, understanding as Emily stood up and walked away a little to let Hotch talk to JJ. They all watched as he wrapped his arms around her, her shaking body immediately stopping as she felt the comfort she so obviously craved from the older man.
