I don't own I Love Lucy, but I love Lucille Ball with all my heart. And yay, Columbia learns the Time Warp!
X.x.x.x.X
"Vhat?"
The domestic greeted her like she was a bug she wished to squash; the groupie had to force herself to make eye contact.
"Hey…"
"Vhat do you vant?"
Magenta wouldn't even open the door completely; Columbia could just see a sliver of pale skin and negligee, and feel the heat from their skin. Time was still moving, at an unusually awkward pace, and she could read the Transylvanian, slightly. The eyes were kohl-rimmed, and the lashes didn't want to end, but despite the dark makeup, there was a softness, a loneliness. It was just a matter of Columbia swallowing her pride, and apologizing for the fight.
"Genta…Magenta, I'm sorry. I'm so stup-"
"Vhy didn't you tell me you vere fucking ze fat one?"
Columbia's could feel her jaw drop, and was too shocked to even defend Eddie's body. Magenta wasn't stupid, but how could she possibly know about her situation with the specimen? Even more, the earthling could hear more than a hint of hurt and jealousy coming from the maid. Her mouth gaped lamely, and she blinked profusely, unable to comprehend.
"Yeah," she managed finally, the eye contact locked in a manner of uncertainty. "Yeah, and calling out his name during…" she decided it was best to cut the last part out, Magenta's eyes sharpened. "I wasn't than-it just. I dunno. That was stupid. So stupid!"
"Very much so."
Columbia let her make the remark, let it roll off painlessly. "But me and Eddie…it's not stupid. And me and you isn't stupid either! It's…"
"So dreamy?"
"Yeah! It's like Lucy and Ethel-"
"Who?"
Columbia explained briefly who they were, and how they were like that, only more sexual with each other. And others.
"And we will be, as long as we're here, but at the end of the day, I think I want to be with Eddie."
"Not ze Master?"
There was surprise in the maid's voice. Surprise, but also relief, as though glad the groupie finally realized that Frank wasn't right for her. Columbia didn't respond immediately, biting her lip. "No…I want a man who's not prettier than me!"
X.x.x.x.X
"Okey-dokey, next foot."
The frizzy haired domestic pulled a sheer black stocking off her right foot, and set it in front of the raspberry haired groupie, so the toenails could be painted. Purple, because they had just found the bottle while searching for their clothes. It was fair to say that things were patched up between the two, but Columbia was being cautious about what to say, and was abundant with the gestures of kindness. Leaning over slightly to pinch the earthling's nipple-just for the thrill-Magenta came as close to a giggle as the groupie had ever seen, before returning to the cigarette and pinup magazines.
"Hey Genta?"
"Mmhmm?"
"When are you and Riff gonna go dig up bodies?"
"Vhen he's finished vorking on ze little details," Magenta replied as though asked when she was going to make dinner.
"And when would that be?"
"Vhen my brother finishes telling ze Master vhat to do."
"…Your brother really is the brains of the operation, isn't he?"
The domestic nodded, a gleam of apparent pride in her eyes. Columbia saw the faraway look, and the pensive smile on her friend's face, making her mind cloud, and stomach flip.
"He's the only one in this castle I haven't slept with. Y'know, 'cept for that one time I was pretty drunk, and thought-"
"I remember it vell, than you very much."
Columbia giggled, but stopped as soon as the maid looked irritated, and envious. The chatter drifted to slight Frank bashing; Magenta being a secret expert, and Columbia trying timidly to voice the little things she never before allow to bother her.
"He can't speak French too well. It's…amazing when he does, but I took four years of French, and that's not how you say 'Will you go to bed with me, tonight?'"
She felt guilty, but also released, although she still cringed whenever her friend would shoot scathing remarks at her once-sweet transvestite. However, they found other things to amuse themselves with, Columbia telling a fascinated Magenta about the phenomenon "I Love Lucy," and other television shows.
X.x.x.x.X
"Okay, and than what?"
"You bring your knees in tight!"
The Time Warp was one of the more amusing dances Columbia had come across. She was used to just finding a rhythm, and shimmying, but a dance with steps (especially with the steps the Time Warp specified) was new, and addicting, especially in pajamas, and with her best friend.
"Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!"
Following Magenta's lead, they fell to the floor, falling onto makeup, clothes and magazines. Columbia's mouse ears fell off, and she landed partially on the domestic; resulting in a playful roll, with shrieks of laughing, and squeaks of "But it's the pelvic thrust!"
The door opened, and there stood Riff Raff, his hair stringier and more unkempt than usual.
"Magenta…"
They stopped bashfully, and stood up, straightening, and suppressing giggles. The handyman seemed to tired, and distracted to care, or was perhaps stifling his envy.
"Vhat is it my dearest brother?"
Columbia's stomach did the flip-flop again when she saw how they looked at each other. Hunger, so much hunger. They were feeding off of each other's presence.
"I've done it. I've discovered the secret…to life."
"Itself?" Columbia heard herself comment in a whisper. Magenta seemed too taken by her brother's achievement to do more than elbow her in the ribs lightly.
"Itself!" The handyman said, his hollow cheeks flushed with color. The domestic let out a strangled gasp of pleasure, and rushed forward, their hands meeting, their forearms, than their elbows.
"So…um…when'll you be getting the…anatomy?"
For the first time, the handyman looked at her, an unnatural smile playing at his lips.
"Tomorrow. Tomorrow, we continue the mission…at midnight."
Columbia's pulse raced, and she mumbled a "Excuse me," before leaving the room. The nerves, the adrenaline, it was all coming much too fast, and she felt feint. Looking up, she found herself at a door. Eddie was being tested, Magenta was doing the unimaginable with her brother, and she was wound up like an E or first string.
X.x.x.x.X
"Yeeow!"
This was her kind of dance. A tap dance. Her feet sprinted across the floor, the thick and satisfying click, over and over again, shuffling and rolling…she was a swimmer, she was a tapper, she was a groupie, she was a mess, and needed to relax. The ballroom was never used, and so she tapped there, alone, but not friendless for once. The shoes were better than Dorothy's, in her opinion. Dozens of little rhinestones, and glitter, they hit the light every time and she felt like a star. She was always the groupie to the star, but alone, dancing in those shoes, she felt like she was the one everyone wanted.
"And hey," she figuring, jabbing her toe out swiftly, "half of the household wouldn't mind taking me for a ride!"
Down the hall, she heard Eddie being returned to his room. She knew she had to go visit him, and talk about the next day, and what it was all leading up to. They could feel good because he had his heroin, and she had her nerves and adrenaline, but sometimes all the good in the world didn't block out the bad. But in thirteen hours, it didn't really matter, because happy or sad, she was their only hope.
X.x.x.x.X
I typed this up in like an hour. How sweet is that?
