A/N: Here it tis folks, the end of our night at the Cullen's. Once this little event is finally behind us we can begin to move forward a bit more, however I do count this chapter as progress ;)
And I'd love to say hi to all of the new readers that have discovered this story recently, and a big thank you to everyone for all those wonderful reviews.

Chapter 12

The remainder of the evening was relatively uneventful, aside from the usual goodbyes and of course everyone gathering out on the porch to see Edward and Bella off.

"Just keep your eyes forward and pretend they aren't there. We'll be out of here in just a minute." Bella whispered in response to Edward's uncomfortable moan of annoyance when he realized that his family was still standing outside watching.

They were walking out to the car, a respectable distance between them so when she spoke Edward had to lean in so that he'd be able to hear her; in doing so he placed his hand unthinkingly on Bella's lower back. It was just a simple case of having to accommodate their significant height difference and a need to keep their discussion quiet in front of such an audience, but the motion caused Alice to make some sort of noise that sounded like a cross between a giggle and a shriek. It was either in response to seeing such a gesture of familiarity or she was pretending to be a cockatoo on crack. It was such a funny moment that Bella couldn't even hold back the bark of laughter that escaped her as Edward opened the passenger door before quickly retreating to the other side.

She had been taken of guard by just how different her friend's family had seemed tonight. It wasn't as if their behavior was a bad thing exactly—it just wasn't what she was use to, and she knew that it had everything to do with Edward. Carlisle was a bit more quiet than usual and Esme was far more talkative; Alice though always prone to the most random behavior suddenly seemed capable of actually outdoing herself. Fortunately, before the night had ended, Bella had been able to get a few reviling answers out of her friend following the incident in the kitchen.

While Alice helped Bella clean up the remnants of glass scattered around the kitchen before anyone was made aware of her clumsy little moment they'd talked a bit more; Alice explaining that she didn't mean to embarrass her and that she wasn't trying to turn whatever this connection that she and Edward had managed into something that it wasn't. Her teasing comment had only been a side affect of her happiness.

"You of all people cannot blame me for saying what's on my mind." Alice had laughed.

And maybe that's all it had been. She was learning something new all the time and she was well aware by now that most people, even the most outgoing and confident types had their moments of nervousness.
So perhaps it was indeed just their overwhelming desire to make Edward feel comfortable and welcome had in turn made them feel a bit jittery and out of sorts. It didn't really seem to matter the reason, their being out of sorts had certainly thrown Bella for a loop, but at least she now understood.

"Glad that's over with." She finally sighed once Edward had them headed back down the vacant highway.

"I thought you were looking forward to tonight." He teased.
He'd kept his facial expression neutral as if speaking in all seriousness but Bella could hear the humor in his voice.

"I was." She grumbled, "but then somebody had to go and loud me out for touching their leg."

He could hear the sarcasm and he knew that his awkward reaction had to have seemed funny, but he still felt terrible for bringing that type of attention to her. It was only because they hadn't had any time alone since dinner that he had yet to offer her any sort of explanation for his behavior.

"I don't suppose I'm allowed to apologize for that?" he pleaded a little.

Bella shook her head, "You already made up for that, not that you ever had to in the first place."

"It was just a surprise you know," he promised.

He could tell that she wasn't looking for an apology or even an explanation per se, but he'd already decided that she should know what had brought on his reaction in the first place. It was something they might have already discussed after all, had he been more confident. And it was something that he would need to explain eventually should their relationship progress in a manner that he was now hoping it might.

Bella watched his hold the steering wheel tighten, his fingers digging into the leather as he stared off at the road ahead of them. When his grip relaxed he removed his right hand from the wheel altogether and let his arm rest on the console between them.

"Quite a pleasant surprise actually." He grinned, turning his hand palm up, offering it too her.

Bella looked back and forth between his outstretched hand and his relaxed expression. Before enough time could pass that he might begin to second-guess himself she reached out and let her hand settle safely inside of his.

"When we get back to the house I'll show you why your touch startled me so" he promised closing his hand around hers, "aside from the most obvious reason of course."

She couldn't contain her smile suddenly. She had this intense urge to call Alice and see if she might be able to imitate that fucked up bird impression herself for a few minutes, because the feel of his strong hand holding on to hers and this calm, casual demeanor he'd managed to adopt over the past few minutes was making her body hum with energy.

"I've noticed that your hands are always sort of cold." Bella mentioned after a moment, realizing the truth of that statement when she noticed that most of his hand, though he'd been holding on to hers for a few minutes by now had yet to warm up at all.

"Uhh yeah," he looked a bit uncomfortable for the first time since they'd left his parent's house.

She felt him try to release her hand but she tightened her grip, unwilling to let him go.

"I didn't mean it was a bad thing, I was just wondering if they were always like that." She corrected her meaning.

Edward smiled gently and moved their hands so that hers could rest upon his leg, much as he had done earlier in the evening at the dinner table.

"Two seconds." He requested patting the top of her hand before he let go and reached for the heater controls on the dash. He made a slight adjustment for her comfort and then placed his hand back on top of hers, leaving them resting against his leg.

"I do have cold hands, but that's all part of the explanation I wanted to share once we get back to the house."

"Okay." Bella agreed without making a fuss or feeling any need to ask further questions. The fact that Edward had willingly taken her hand, repeatedly now was enough to keep her content for quite some time.

"May I?" he asked a bit later, moving his hand from its position atop hers once again, reaching for the radio this time.

The subtle nod of her head was rewarded by the gentle sound of piano music flooding the car's interior.

Edward was trying his best to stay focused on Bella while he drove them home but his mind was threatening to take off on another journey entirely. Using some music to provide enough distraction so that he wouldn't need to be quite as available, he began to relax a little and give in to his need for some time alone with his thoughts.
The weight of her tiny little hand resting against his leg felt wonderful and he selfishly wanted to find any excuse that he could to keep her comfortable with such contact, but he needed a moment to wrap his mind around what he would need to tell her later.

It had been a bit earlier, before they had left his parent's tonight that Edward had been able to make a few solid decisions.

He'd realized during the brief perusal of his father's garage that over the past day and a half he'd shared more information about himself with Bella than he'd ever communicated to anyone in pretty much his entire life and that knowledge was suddenly invaluable to him. It made him think about things that he usually took for granted—made him realize that he could do more.

Talking with his father or sister was easy; his mother however was usually a different story. Esme was always so well meaning and kind with her words, but Edward generally felt like he was being interrogated. He knew that he wasn't very forthcoming with information and that his mother was just interested in what was going on in his life, but he never felt much need to talk about himself. That is until he'd met Bella.
He had to wonder, if he could talk so openly with a girl he hardly knew then why was it so hard to share that side of himself with a woman that he knew loved him more than anyone else on the planet?

He had told Bella just a little over an hour before that when he traveled away from his home he usually did so because he was looking to learn something new and tonight he felt as though he'd already accomplished that many times over. Bella was teaching him to discover a whole new way to communicate—a way that could comfort and encourage; something that would show affection and acceptance; a way to speak without words.

After he'd emerged from the garage he spent a few moments out on the porch with his mother and father, before going inside to collect Bella. He wanted his mother to see that he was okay, that he could be normal, just like Bella had assured him he was earlier in the day. Emboldened by her confidence he'd actually pursued this conversation with his parents.

"Thanks for having everyone over tonight, I really enjoyed it." He'd told his mother when she'd said how good had been to see him this evening.

"We should really do it a bit more often in that case." Esme smiled.

"Yeah." He agreed easily. "In fact, Bella and I will probably get over here sometime just after noon tomorrow, if that's okay."

"That would be perfect. It will give me some time to run out to the store in the morning and get everything we'll be needing for the cake." The excitement in his mother's eyes at the prospect of spending sometime with Bella tomorrow made him grin. "Did you find everything out in the garage you'll be needing?"

His father's self-assured snort, having overheard the question, made him chuckle but he nodded his head anyway.

"If it's just a skip in the engine it shouldn't be anything more complicated than a few minor adjustments, maybe having to clean some stuff up." He shrugged.

"Are we still discussing how awful my truck is?" Bella had questioned, coming out to find them huddled together chatting.

Edward just smiled while Esme went on to defend his position, agreeing that they all cared too much about her to have her riding around in a vehicle that could potentially leave her stranded some place at any moment. Having a sudden need to prove himself further, Edward took a step closer to his mother and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." He nodded, giving Bella a little wink, much like she tended to when she wanted him to know that she understood.

His mother was maybe an inch or so taller than Bella but not much different in overall size. Standing next to her with his arm draped around her, the top of her head just reached his shoulder. When she got over the initial shock of his unprovoked contact he felt her arm come around his waist and her head settle against his chest. The feeling of satisfaction that Edward experienced was almost too much to take. He tightened his hold a bit, giving his mother a little one-armed hug and bent to place a kiss against her temple.
They had started their goodbyes then, Bella insisting that she needed some rest, since she wanted to be up early in order to get some work done before coming back tomorrow.

Edward had been quite pleased with himself as they walked through the house to collect Bella's coat—that is until his family had felt the need to follow them out.
She didn't know then that his little moan of annoyance had been because he had wanted to do a lot more than walk her to the car and be on their way. He was suddenly craving some type of contact. She had touched his leg, and he had held her hand, but now he wanted something more. Seeing her smile as she'd said goodnight to his family made him realize just how special she really was. It was obvious to him throughout the night that she was uncomfortable at times, but she did a pretty good job of hiding it from everyone else. He knew that he hadn't made things any easier for her by reacting to his own insecurities, but he appreciated her presence and wanted to show her suddenly just how much she was beginning to mean to him. A simple hug had done wonders for bridging the gap between he and his mother, what he wanted with Bella however, could prove to be so much more.

"Do you still play?" Bella asked, bringing him back from his thoughts. He realized then that the music had faded to silence. "Alice use to tell me all the time about how talented you are."

"Yeah, I play almost everyday still, when I'm home. It's always been sort of relaxing for me."

Edward wondered for a moment if he hadn't maybe been driving a little too fast, seeing that they were already back in Port Angeles and approaching the turn off to the neighborhood. He was a little panicked thinking that perhaps he'd not been as careful as he should have been to keep himself conscious of the present. How long had they been riding along in silence with him still contemplating the past?

"Would you be comfortable playing for me some time?" she wondered making him glance in her direction.

"I uhh…" he hesitated briefly.

He didn't play in front of anyone any more. The only reason he had ever was because his schooling in Chicago had deemed it necessary, a fact that had threatened to drive him slowly insane at the time. He'd never even cared to play in front of his family—only ever playing the piano at his parent's house if everyone had agreed to be elsewhere while he did. They could still hear him and enjoy it, but he wouldn't feel the uncomfortable sensation of having their eyes focused on him.

Her face had started to fall and he knew she was starting to doubt herself.

"I don't…usually have an audience." He explained before he had to hear her dismiss the idea. "I'm sort of afraid to do anything that might make me feel nervous in front of you at this point. I like being comfortable a little too much I guess."

Bella smiled shyly as she turned her hand so that she could give his a little squeeze of understanding.

"It's okay. Maybe one day we'll get there." She conceded.

"I hope so." He nodded with a smile of relief.

They were now parked in the driveway allowing Edward to face her fully. Bella felt a sense of longing in his gaze and she was dumbfounded by the feelings that it created somewhere deep inside.

Every bit of confidence she'd managed to conjure up before they'd gone off to his parent's house tonight had come and gone multiple times over the course of the evening. Now sitting here alone with Edward confidence was no longer necessary. She could be herself with him, ask whatever she wanted—a point that had just been proven; she didn't need to fear that her words would be taken the wrong way, because he would understand that it was never her intention to offend. They were not allowed to apologize in any case, so what would be the point in becoming insecure or embarrassed by something the other would not wish to hold against you.

"Come on." Edward smiled as he opened her door. She was unaware that he'd even gotten out of the car, much less around to the other side already, but she did notice with great pleasure how he'd held his hand out once again, offering it as a way to assist her.
She slipped her hand into his grasp as she carefully stepped from the car.

"I don't want to keep you up so late tonight, I know you must be tired," Edward said softly as he escorted Bella to the house and through the front door. He kept hold of her hand as he made his way to the living room and turned on the lamp sitting beside her chair, "so why don't we both change for bed then meet back here for a cup of tea, that way we can talk for just a few minute before we crash for the night."

Bella just nodded mutely as she attempted to force herself to let go of him and head downstairs as he'd suggested. Before she could however, he carefully adjusted his hold on the hand he still held and very slowly, very tentatively raised it to his lips. He held her gaze until her hand was only an inch away, then he closed his eyes letting his mouth reverently caress her fingers for a brief moment.

"I should thank you for coming with me tonight." His voice sounded husky and a bit strained all of a sudden. "I should thank you for a lot of things actually."

"Edward?" her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

"I'll be right back." He promised, lightly brushing his thumb over the back of her hand before finally releasing it.

She stood rooted to that very spot watching him ascend the stairs to their right on what appeared to be rather shaky legs. She sympathized completely, hence her own lack of movement. She had to go down the stairs to her bedroom in order to change as he'd requested, but she didn't trust herself to take that first step just yet. Besides if she were to enter the safety of her room, she worried that she'd never be able to find the courage to come back right now. As an alternative she went into the kitchen to put on the kettle for their tea.

Gathering up the mugs and other paraphernalia they would be needing, she wondered about what in the world he could want to tell her about tonight. And what would it have to do with his cold hands or his jumpy reaction to her touch upon his leg?

She stood leaning against the counter rubbing her fingers gently against the spot that he'd kissed on the back of her other hand, while waiting on the water to heat. She'd never experienced such a wonderful sensation. The closest feeling she'd ever had to such was the feel of her hand being held within his, or perhaps the feel of his eyes looking at her with such wonder as he'd done just before, but the feel of his surprisingly soft lips upon her skin was by far the best.

She heard a slight change in the sound coming from the teakettle that indicated it would soon be ready so she turned finally and opened the cupboard to retrieve the box of chamomile.
Moments later she felt his presence before she ever heard him clear his throat to let her know that he was back. When she turned she saw that he was indeed changed back into the set of nightclothes she'd seen him in this morning.

"I can finish up here if you want to go ahead and change." He offered kindly.

"It's alright. I was thinking of taking a quick shower before bed tonight and I didn't want to make you wait." She made an excuse.

"Okay." He nodded. "In that case how about I go ahead and show you what I was talking about earlier."

She nodded her approval, not really sure what else to say.

He was rubbing his fingers back and forth along the hem of the t-shirt that he wore and his face was reflecting some sort of uncertainty, but surprisingly it wasn't to the same degree that she'd come to expect.

"Alice jokes a lot about my little habit of umm…exploring nature. I think that she does it because its easier to make fun of me for it, than it is to worry over what might happen to me when I'm out there all alone." He started to explain, but the teakettle whistling its readiness interrupted.

He walked over and assisted Bella with making the tea, when they were finished they took their cups to the table and sat down next to one another. Bella placed her hand on the table top as an offer if he should want some encouragement, and she was pleased to see that he'd taken hold of it without hesitation.

"I went to Wyoming that time because I had started reading about mountain lions one summer. When the weather started to change I was feeling the need to get out and do something different so I figured I might go see if I could locate a few out in the wild and do a little research—see if what I had been reading was really all that accurate."

It was hard to contain her excitement hearing that he was going to finally explain whatever this big secret was about the mountain lions, but she was too intrigued to risk interrupting his train of thought with questions. She was however terribly confused about what this had to do with why her touch had startled him so.

"You see mountain lions are just like most of the big cats in the wild, they are very solitary animals, almost always living alone.
They tend to be quite intelligent and they use this to their advantage in a lot of ways for hunting and finding shelter, since most usually wander great distances and never really take to the company of others…except of course to mate." He rubbed the back of his head a little with his free hand before continuing.

"They are extremely protective of those they do decide to mate with, and they're actually thought to be monogamous, despite not necessarily staying with the mate long term. They might go their separate ways when the mood strikes, but they always seem to come back to each other somehow when in heat, which is pretty uncommon in the animal world, especially for such nomadic creatures."

He looked away finally, unable to keep eye contact as he confessed the embarrassing reality of his fascination with the animal.

"They just reminded me so much of myself, the way that I am, the way that I think; I would be…I'm not sure why…but," he glanced up briefly needing to see her reaction. "I wanted to see for myself how they lived, how they made such a lifestyle work for them. I thought that it might help me understand myself, maybe make me see that I'm not the only creature that feels the way I do."

Bella let go of where she'd been holding onto her mug of tea and reached for their clasped hands with her free one, giving Edward the reassurance that she understood.

He smiled gently and tightened his hold on hers a bit before taking his hand away.
She watched as he pushed back from the table and bent forward lifting his right pant leg up above his knee. There on the front of his shin, just below the knee and coming around halfway to the back of his leg were three pale pink scars running parallel to each other that covered some six inches or more of his skin.

"I wasn't paying enough attention one morning when I was out observing this one cat while they hunted. I didn't realize that this particular lion was out with his mate and apparently I'd gotten too close to where she was."

Bella tentatively reached out to touch the scars. Edward reached out as well, to cover her hand as she came in contact with his bare knee.

"I don't have much feeling right along here anymore, he said guiding her hand the length of his wound. "I can only really begin to feel you starting here." He explained moving her hand a bit higher—to the same place he'd been strategically placing her hand when he could tonight. "Because I lack any sensation if you touch me here, it's a bit more sensitive where I can feel."

"And your hands?" Bella asked tears pooling in her eyes. She couldn't see any obvious damaged to his hands or his arms that would account for an injury that would cause something to be wrong in that area, but she instinctually knew that her question about his hands and the story he was telling her about the incident with this protective mountain lion and his mate, where somehow connected.

Edward took a deep breath and stood up from the table. He closed his eyes and reached for the collar of his t-shirt, pulling up and over his head. He discarded the t-shirt onto the table and stood, his eyes still closed, his brow deeply furrowed before Bella.

She had been unprepared for his action, but more so for the sight of him being shirtless in front of her.
She had seen evidence of the light dusting of hair on his chest earlier and repeatedly throughout the evening, his shirt being unbuttoned as it was, but that had not prepared her for just how wonderful it suited him, tapering down over the taught lines of his stomach, darkening with its abundance the further down his torso she allowed her gaze to wander. And she'd felt some indication as to just how firm and well muscled his upper body was earlier in the day when she'd talked herself into giving him a friendly hug, but seeing it was truly a sight to behold.

Her eyes changed direction and traveled up the length of his equally impressive arms, coming to a halt at the curve of his right shoulder when she felt her breath suddenly leave her. A scar almost identical in size and color was there, interrupting the beauty of his perfectly pale skin.

He felt her moving towards him but he dared not move or open his eyes. He felt vulnerable and exposed standing before he as he was, but when he felt her light touch upon his shoulder he felt as though he'd likely begin melting at any moment.

"I shouldn't have been so close, but fortunately I wasn't without my truck near by, and I've always been a pretty fast runner." His voice trembled as she made her way behind him, her hand following the path of the scar over his shoulder and around to the middle of his back.

"I couldn't tend to this wound as well as I could to the one on my leg, so there was a bit of nerve damage and I have some problems with circulation in my arms now, hence the coldness of my hands. The right is worse than the left." He told her, just before he felt her place a soft kiss against his back, right where he knew the scar would end.

"Does it hurt?" she mumbled almost inaudibly.

"Only because I know what my stupid obsession was able to do to my family—how badly my being hurt affected them."

Edward raised his arm and turned until Bella was again standing in front of him. He then settled his hand on her lower back and brought her marginally closer to him.

"When you're ready Bella, I want you to feel comfortable with me like this." He told her, while settling her hands atop his shoulders. "I want to be comfortable with you like this."

"Edward," she looked up becoming lost in his eyes, "I have scars too you know, mine aren't as easy to see, but they affect the way that I feel as well." There was apology in her voice and he knew exactly what she was talking about.

God bless Alice and her foresight. He didn't take her words as any sort of rejection, he instead knew that this was her way of opening up to him.

"We're learning Bella and I understand that this will take time, for both of us, but I'm here for you. As long as you want me to be." He assured her reaching a hand up to gently brush her tears aside.