Thread 11: PLAYA IN A LANDRAIDA
The landraider makes for quite a bumpy ride as it rumbles along the rocky terrain. Though admittedly this is not what's on your mind. You are, after all, sitting inside with almost a dozen of some of the most deadly zealots in the universe.
And they are pampering you.
When the sisters find out that you've been pretty hungry for a while, they bust out a plethora of food. The table fare ranges from local stuff they've picked up, smoked fish and whatnot, to some of their own rations. You are a bit annoyed at how much better their rations are then what the guard supplied you. While you were chewing on protein pucks they were indulging in preserved fruit and vegetables. Not that you are going to voice your complaints.
After about half an hour of riding, and stuffing your face perhaps more than you ever have, the tank finally sighs to a stop.
The sister's have claimed some administratum building as their base, or so you surmise. The area outside of the place is littered in papers and various office supplies. Whoever left here, they did so in a rush. Inside the building is heavily fortified, two automated heavy bolter turrets guarding the front door alone, and several bored looking sororitas cleaning their weapons.
Everything seems to be going, as much as it surprises you, fairly smooth. This only puts you on edge, life on Yagis V has not been easy on you, and you don't trust that to change.
Your rampant paranoia is acknowledged, when a more mature and particularly fierce looking sister steps into your path.
"And pray tell, what are you girls doing with HIM?" She points at you, and the sisters look sheepish under her fiery gaze.
"Oh, it's no problem, sister…" You gesture with a thumb toward a few of the Sororitas behind you, who are carrying the armor they stripped off of you.
"As you can see, I'm with the Blood Ravens." The canoness raises a skeptical eyebrow.
"You? With the Blood Ravens? Surely you jest…" You do your best to act natural under a gaze which could probably out melt a melta.
"I'm from a different world, and they claimed me as a relic. Something about a link to their chapters past or something, I've been trying to find out ever since. These sisters are simply going to help me with a bit of maintenance, as I don't possess the required materials at the moment."
She smiles at your words, like a cat at a mouse. "Do tell then, what exactly have you been doing with your… Brothers?"
"Steal artifacts, mostly, kind of our shindig." You reply with shrug. A drawn out moment of very uncomfortable silence passes, you are trying not to sweat as you wait.
The canoness finally nods, and turns to go back to her business. "Sounds about right." She murmurs before heading off.
Holy shit, you didn't really think that would work. Your heart is drumming in your ears, you don't know what would have happened to you had she found out you were lying. You are fairly sure, however, that you are glad not to know.
The sisters break out into giddy but muffled laughter as they smuggle you deeper and deeper into the structure. They seem to be happy to not have been discovered as well. Finally they push through two heavy wooden doors and you follow them into their makeshift bunk.
There is one thing you notice right off the bat.
They have beds. Not those terrible canvas-on-sticks "cots" that you were supplied with, generally less preferable than the ground they sat on.
Real, clean, plush beds. "I can't hold it in any longer, you are so damn lucky and I'm jealous as all hell…"
The sisters giggle furiously as they close the door and bolt it behind them. It seems they either didn't hear you, or don't really care to respond. "I can't believe that worked!"
"I know! I thought she was going to roast him alive!"
"…We would have gotten punished as well…"
Well, good to know they were so confident...
Smiling, giddy, and beautiful faces lead you hand-in-hand through the room. As cranky as you are at the obvious preferential treatment, you can't really be mad at the moment.
You follow them as they lead you right into…
A large multi-head shower. "Why the fuck is there a shower in an office building?"
The girls ignore you as they start stripping down and washing off. Your own body and most of your brain starts ignoring that part of you as well.
Not wanting to reek of sweat and battle, you start cleaning yourself up a bit as well. The hot water is amazing, and you recall you haven't had many opportunities to clean yourself up since the turn of events that followed the annihilation of the guard here. You even take the opportunity to get a nice close shave with a razor supplied by a chesty sororita.
Several others get jealous of her as she applies the shaving gel for you. They close in and before you know it, you are being attacked from all sides as they each try to fix you up in some way. It isn't efficient, but you certainly aren't about to stop them. After you finally can't take any more of the heat, you walk back into the other room as you towel off.
It appears that the girls who left the shower before you have been busy. They've arranged the beds together to form one giant one. It's like they did the impossible and somehow combined them.
You collapse face first into the pile of starched white sheets and fluffy pillows. After everything you've been through, it feels like heresy to be this comfortable.
So comfortable, in fact, that you start falling asleep. Or would, if there weren't ten dripping wet sororitas wrapped in nothing but short towels standing around you. "No rest for the wicked, eh?"
The girls laugh. "Not until we're through with you."
They jump you before you can react, and you find your limbs being held down, each sat on by a sister. Well, it would seem sororitas prefer to shave, might be more comfortable in their armor.
Your musings are confirmed as Lycheria jumps up and straddles you. "I hope your body is ready." She coos.
"I'm not going to lie, so do I." She gently maneuvers your phallic object into position, and he stretches in preparation for her exercise.
You have to admit, watching that cute silver haired sororita riding you. You could easily get used to this.
And it appears you are going to have to, as nine others wait for their respective turns. One by one, they take the bull by the horns and finish themselves off. By number 7, you are really having a hard time holding on.
The ones who have taken their turn already lay down near you, with satisfied sighs.
Finally, the last one bucks her hips and trembles as she collapses on top of you. Leaving you with a fully primed melta gun and no one to man it.
"Uhh…" Lycheria looks up from her position snuggling your right side.
"Oh, how rude of me." She leaps back on top of you, and before you can reach for your protection, she snatches you up with her mega milks.
Lycheria grins as she watches you squirm, grinding you between her Emperor's gifts. It may not be heretical, but damn does it feel good. It doesn't take more than a minute for her to finish you off, and when it finally happens you feel as though all your energy is completely expended.
You fall asleep before she can even quip wittily about you making a mess. When you finally come out of your hibernation, you notice you are the only one in the room.
A hastily scrawled note informs you that they had to leave early for some important mission, though it doesn't say what. Meh, you'll sleep another hour or so while you think of what to do next. Wait… What's this package on your chest…?
You rip open the brown paper, and gawk openly at what you see. "HAT-CHAN!" You grab him and hold him up to the light.
He sparkles back at you, once again quite cleaned up. "Dude I thought I'd lost you forever! I was going to rip this planet asunder in my search for you!"
"Yeah well, it ain't easy being a hat while pimping this hard."
You unfold and read a small red stationary. "Dear Max, thought you might like this back. Get me something nice, you owe me 3. – Kaleshi"
You quickly get dressed, and in a last final motion, place your beloved hat back upon your head. You feel instantly complete. "Oh yeah, now I'm ready."
You are going to need a chance to pick up something really nice for Kaleshi, you owe her more than some sloppy thrown together gift. As such, you decide against giving her a ring right off the bat. You don't have to instantly barrage her with thanks, you have a feeling she already knows.
You are a bit on edge as you start to sneak out of the building. It would be a lot to explain if the canoness caught you now with a commissar hat. You would probably be explaining it to a flamer.
You would probably be on fire…
Quickly, however, you discover your ninja skills are quite unnecessary. You seem to be the only one here. Whatever called out all the Sororitas must have been fairly important, you make a mental note to ask Lycheria about it next time you talk to her.
It's probably time to let Mika get freaky on your arm again, you know she wasn't quite finished when you left. You are quite glad you remember how to get there, your arm has started having some errors. As in, every few hours or so at random, it attempts to strangle you and you almost feel like cutting off the hand and attaching a chainsword to it. But it's probably a better plan to just let Mika fix it.
So you set off to procure a vehicle to ferry you to the bunker. You don't think the sisters won't mind, you just have to return it like you found it. Surely that's possible…
As tempting as some of the other options are, you feel the bike is probably your best bet. You have driven one before after all, it's completely inconceivable that you will somehow wreck this one.
You hop on the large, intimidating bike. The first thing you notice is the two bolter rifles sticking out of the front. That is pretty cool, and you have to really restrain yourself from testing them out.
The bike starts easily, and chortles happily as you get settled in. Hmm, what's this?
An engraved plate reading "Canoness" on the fuel tank? Ah, well, what could go wrong?
You rev up the engine, and squeal the tires a bit as you tear out across the pavement. The wind feels good in your face, and you find yourself having a bit of fun. You might just have to pick yourself up a bike. If you ever make it off this planet alive, anyway.
The bike rumbles harder as you turn your wrist, pushing the speedometer as high as you can get it to go. Unable to help yourself any longer, you slow down and take aim at an abandoned civilian transport.
With a squeeze of a trigger, the bolter rifles open up. The hail of fire tears into the vehicle, ripping off a door and punching holes larger than your fist through its thin metal. Finally a bolter round catches the fuel tank and the whole thing ignites in a fireball, blowing the glass outward. That was pretty satisfying…
You whip your head suddenly to your left, something having caught your eye. Through the alleyways separating buildings, you think you make out a glimpse of fire.
Your suspicions are confirmed as Doomrider catches some sort of ramp and flies overtop the low buildings, before crashing down on the opposite side of you. "SUP!"
"Hey! What's going on man?" You shout back.
He faceplants a bowl of cocaine before pulling his head back out and shaking it off.
"EH, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL! GAVE YOUR KHORNE GIRL A RIDE TO GRAB YOUR HAT TOO!"
"Hey, thanks for that man! I owe you one!"
Doomrider laughs heartily.
"YOU CAN REPAY ME BY DOING SOME BEAR LEAVES WITH ME SOMETIME!"
This might be a good opportunity to get some info. "Will do! In the meantime, do you know anything I can get her as a thanks!?"
Doomrider scratches his chin inquisitively while at the same time tossing back a bottle of some black liquid that you don't think you would try.
"WELL…" He finally says. "SHE DOES LIKE BLOODBOWL!"
You think that over for a few seconds. It's not surprising, but you don't know how you would take her to a bloodbowl game, you doubt there are any here. "IF YOU CAN BEAT ME, I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU TICKETS! FIRST ONE ACROSS THAT BRIDGE IN THE DISTANCE!"
Doomrider's cackling voice shatters your thinking. Can you beat Doomrider in a race?
"I'm not going to take it easy on you!" You grin and shout at him. Doomrider revs his engine in response.
You grip your own controls hard, and get your mind ready. You don't know the top speed of this thing, but you know his bike is really fast. Beating him on speed alone might not work, you may have to get tricky. The two of you thunder down the road, picking up more and more speed as you go. You notice his bike definitely has an edge as far as speed is concerned, not that yours is by any means a slouch.
Your hand is twisting the handle as hard as you can manage, holding the throttle all the way open. This is the fastest you've ever gone on land, you are fairly certain of that. A river looms ahead of you, and it looks like you have several options to get across.
It's a split second decision, but you point your front tire right at the arm of a crane. It's a bit of a drop onto it, but if you can get enough speed, you should be able to fly to the far side of the river. You give it everything you've got, pressing the bike as hard as it can go, trying to coax out all of its speed.
The road drops out and you fall for a few moments, the engine revving madly against no resistance. The tires crash down onto the arm of the crane, and squeak as they catch traction. It's too late to turn back now, you gun it. Despite the steep angle, the bike quickly regains lost speed and tears up the crane arm. You hold on for dear life.
You realize, only too late, that this is going to be a really, really hard landing. The bike roars furiously as it soars into the bright sky. You have to squint against the sun in your eyes, you can't do this blind, that's for sure.
You pick out a mound of dirt on the far side of the river, that seems like the best place to aim for. Though the ride seems agonizingly long…
Doomrider is beneath you now, having decided to jump to the barge. He had to turn around to line up his second jump though, meaning you are slightly ahead!
Your stomach plummets as the bike begins its decent. You try to angle yourself right, the only thing you have to go on is those clips of astartes on bikes jumping titans. You hope your calculations are right. Clenching your teeth hard, you brace for impact.
The bike lands hard, but you managed to catch the back side of the dirt. Surprisingly, you lost very little speed on the landing. Maybe too little.
You have to pull the handles hard to avoid hitting a light post, but you've made it across.
Turning the bike, you skid to a halt.
A few seconds later, a laughing Doomrider does as well.
"YOU RIDE THAT LIKE A NATURAL, KID!" He slaps you on the back, his flaming skull a giant grin.
"I got lucky, you'll get me next time." You laugh as you feel your heart finally slowing down.
"AS PROMISED! I'VE GOT TO RUN NOW THOUGH, SLAANESH THINKS HE CAN BEAT ME IN AN ORGY COMPETITION!"
Doomrider hands over an envelope, bro fists you, and wheelies his bike into a fresh warp hole.
You sigh in relief, very glad he didn't invite you along, you aren't sure what a slaanesh orgy competition involves, and you might be better of not knowing. For now, at least. Curious, you open up the white envelope. Being sure to avoid touching the slime green glob throbbing on one side of it, whatever that is, you don't really care to know.
Inside, two tickets. "Dastardly Daemons Vs. Da Stompiest"
Worth it, though you groan as you feel the pain pulsing in your groin. Well, you are getting fairly close to the Admech stronghold, you shouldn't stick around here long. The thought occurs to pick something nice up for Mika too.
Well, the Voxshack is closest, and it sounds like some place she might enjoy shopping at. The door is locked, but seeing no one around, you don't think anyone will care if you break in.
You pick up a nearby bench and chuck it through the shop window. "Ah! You're breaking my glass?!"
you use your metal arm to create a hole large enough for you to slip into. "N-no! There's no way you can fit! Ahhhh!"
Though it's still a tight squeeze, you manage to pull yourself inside of the dark store. "Hah! Yo-your inside me?!"
You start to browse around, snatching up a couple bags. You aren't really sure what she would want, so you simply start pulling things off shelves at random. 6 pack of promethium cell batteries, sure why not. Servo cleaning kit, void-dragon brand diodes, AOL version 7654 disk, servo skull hat, baneblade treats…
When you finally have several bags full, you figure it's enough. It takes you a few minutes to get it all to fit inside the saddlebags. You don't want to leave the canoness's stuff behind. Digging around to make room, you find a clean pair of her underwear. White with a pink bow, she might not be so evil after all. Though you probably shouldn't bring that up…
You hop back on the bike, now laden with gifts, and set out toward the stronghold. It's still a bit of a ride, so you enjoy yourself by taking potshots at random objects with the two front mounted bolters.
You hear the mechanical bark of the baneblade "Rex" as he rushes out to greet you. What a weird tank he is, but at least he's friendly. You admit you wouldn't want to tango with his bristling weaponry.
Reaching into the saddlebag, you grab out a treat and chuck it to him. You aren't exactly sure what the treats are, but it said "NOW WITH 55% MORE OIL!" on the side, so you assumed they were good.
Rex runs the treat over, his antenna wagging happily. You reach out and scratch his side armor, his antenna increases speed. Well, whatever. You drive the bike down the ramp and into the large open space, slowing to a stop and resting the bike on its kick stand. You climb off the bike and fix your clothes up a bit, not wanting to look too windblown.
SLaDOS lowers itself from the ceiling slightly to meet you. "~Welcome back, if you are looking for Mika, she is helping me with something at the moment and is quite unreachable.~"
You look up at the robotic eye skeptically. "Helping you with what, exactly?"
"~…Science…~" The robot chimes back after contemplating your question.
Well, you decide to wait. It's not like you have much going on. SLaDOS offers you coffee, which you decline.
It than asks if you want an orange jump suit, which you also decline. Instead, you lay down on a bench and reach around to grab a magazine out of a box.
"Admechgirl! Inside: The dirtiest servitors you can even imagine! Servos vs Gears, hear the professional opinions! Is that a basilisk barrel in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Find out the REAL low-down on increasing your size! Featuring: Nikki "six arms", read her tips on a proper claw job!"
You flip through the pages, becoming less and less interested as you do. This magazine isn't nearly as cool as you though it would be…
Meanwhile
"Aww sweet!" Frederick hisses as he sees the latest Admechgirl. He looks around, making sure no one is looking, before opening it up.
"Oh omnissiah, those parts…" His eyes are glued to the magazine.
He sticks it inside his robes, as interested as he is, he's way more excited/terrified at his movie date with Helena, which its almost time
After several bored minutes of reading, you look back up at SLaDOS, which hasn't taken its eye off of you.
"Hey, can't I just go find Mika?"
The robot's eye whizzes softly as it zooms in at you. You realize now how creepy this thing is. Though judging by what you just read, it's probably ridiculously sexy to a tech-priest. You try to get into the mindset, but brushed metal and slightly exposed wires just don't do it for you.
"~Well, Commissar, if you are that impatient…~" A mechanical arm reaches out, clutching a white orb-looking gun. At least you think it's a gun. "Is this uhh… The only way to find her?"
"~Indeed so!~" SLaDOS responds cheerfully.
"Well… I guess I'll give it a try…" You reach out wearily and take the gun, which is surprisingly heavier than it looks.
"~Well then Commissar, let's begin the SCIENCE!~"
"Wait, I thought I was going to find M…" A trap door opens from beneath you, and you plummet downward before you can finish your sentence.
Faster and faster you slide, for what feels like a very long time until the passage starts leveling out. You slide out of a wall and fall hard onto your ass on a cold tile floor. The passage behind you seals itself shut.
Looking out, you see a high glass wall in front of you, which stops about ten feet below the high ceiling. Through the glass you can see a large pad close to the glass wall.
"~Now then~" You hear the voice of SLaDOS chime. "~Let's get started!~" She sings cheerfully.
You don't know if you like where this is going… It doesn't appear that you have much of a choice, you finger the white gun nervously.
Holding it as far away from your face as you can, and turning your head, you depress the trigger. A small noise and no explosion, thank the Emprah.
You slowly turn to see what it did, and you notice a large orange rimmed black void on the wall in front of you.
"…SLaDOS, have I ever told you how sexy I think you are? Those wires and that multi-zoom lens? That seriously gets me hot."
"~Oh Commissar, you are amusing. Perhaps you require some… Motivation?~"
A door hisses open to your left, and a white orb like thing turns toward you with its red eye. "Beep boop, purge the heretic." It chimes happily, before panels open and you see two gun barrels sticking at you.
You barely manage to jump out of the way as the autocannon fire rips past where you just stood. Holy shit.
This isn't a motherfucking game.
"Yeah, no, this isn't fun." You switch out your plasma cannon and shoot the turret.
"I've always loved you…" It says before exploding. You whip out your communicator and dial Mika's number.
Fuck, she didn't answer. After you wait a few seconds, you dial it again.
"Hey, sorry!" You hear Mika exclaim as she answers.
"Oh thank the Emprah…" You sigh in relief.
"…M-max? What's up?" She asks, surprised at you giving her a call. Its the first time a boy has called her, after all.
"Mika, listen to me very carefully. SLaDOS has dropped me through some kind of trap door and I don't know where I'm at." You talk slowly, making sure she hears everything.
After stumbling through a particularly large and pitch dark section, you manage to trip and fall face first through a doorway. "Ah!" Mika yells in surprise, leaping back to avoid you. You pick yourself up and dust off your clothes a bit. The tech priestess is facing you, but looking around as if she doesn't know what to say.
"Well, that was weird." You finally comment. You can see a bit of relief on Mika's face, since you were the one to break the silence instead of her having to.
"Y-yes, SLaDOS is acting very strangely…" She fidgets with the sleeve of her robe.
"Yeah, strange in a homicidal mad heretek way."
Mika giggles quietly. "I don't think she meant it, like I said, I think she's just bored."
You grab her hand suddenly, and give it a squeeze with a smile. "Come on, I brought you some stuff."
Mika starts walking after you, but her cheeks are completely red and she doesn't look like she knows what to do. "You have really soft hands…" You comment as the two of you walk, you rub her hand with a finger, causing hers to shiver slightly.
"T-t-they aren't great, they aren't even mechanical…" She trails off, looking away.
You raise her hand to your own face, looking it over. Mika has really soft skin, a bit pale, but really its pretty much perfect. "I don't know why you would want to replace these, I think they are perfect as is." You press your lips against her hand, giving it a soft kiss. "W-wha!"
Mika jolts in surprise, her face turning back to you, beet red and eyes spinning. "Well… Give me a second here…" You hear her set down the device and start typing.
A door to your right hisses open. "That's a secondary access tunnel, follow that and I'll find you. As for SLaDOS, she's just bored… I think…"
You take Mika's advice and walk as quickly as you can through the tunnel. There are several more automated turrets, and though they seem inactive, you blast them with your finger lasgun to make sure they don't shoot you in the back.
You grin as you give it another smooch. "Ahh!" She pulls away and hides inside her hood.
"Aww come on, don't be like that…" You put your hands on her shoulders.
"You are really cute, you know." You pull her hood off, revealing her very embarrassed face and currently untidy hair which is pulled into a hasty ponytail.
"I-I'm not… I'm not cute…" She tries to put her hood back up, but you take both of her hands in your own.
"I'll be the judge of that. Now come on, I want you to see what I got you!" You start pulling her along lightly, but you notice she's lagging a bit.
"Something wrong?" You stop and ask.
"It's n-nothing… I've just been on my feet all day…" She says quietly, toying with a strand of her hair with one of her mechanical arms.
"Oh, I can help with that!"
In one swift movement you crouch down, grab her by the thighs, and lift her onto your back.
Mika lets out a startled cry as you stand up, and she wraps her arms around you tightly. All four of them. "W-ww-what are you d-d-doing?!" She stammers.
"Relax, I'm not going to let you fall." You assure her. Mika's face is pressed against your back.
"I-isn't this hard on you? You should let me down so you don't strain yourself…"
"I used to do this for my little sister if she was tired out, so It's no problem." You turn your neck and smile at her.
"…Y-you have a lit-little sister?" She asks, and it feels like she relaxes a bit.
"Yeah, a little brat of one. She likes getting me into trouble, but she's actually pretty nice to me." You talk about Helena a bit as you continue to carry her back to the main room. Finally, after several winding hallways, you've arrived. "~Commissar, so good to see you again!~" SLaDOS sings.
"Please don't do that again…" You groan back. You set Mika down lightly on a bench, and despite looking very nervous she doesn't scoot away after you grab the gifts and sit next to her. "Here!" You smile as you set a bag in her lap.
She stays frozen for several seconds, before nervously looking to you. "F-for me? Are… Are you sure…?"
"Come on, I want you to have them, open them up!" You smile reassuringly as you take her hand and lower it down to the bag.
Slowly and quietly she reaches in and pulls something out. "A…Admechgirl…?"
FUCK, how did that get in there? "Haha, must have grabbed it along with that copy of Gearskull…" You pluck the magazine out of her hands and toss it aside.
She doesn't look angry though. Instead, Mika is looking at you out of the top of her eyes, her face angled toward the floor. You can barely see her pupils underneath her hair, but you can tell she's wearing a faint smile.
"…Anyways, grab out something else." She obliges and pulls out the pack of diodes.
"Ahhh~" She stares at them, open mouthed.
"Err… Do you like them…?" She doesn't look like she knows what to say.
"I mean, it's cool if you don't… Plenty o' other stuff in there…"
But you stop when you realize she's grabbed your hand, and you notice her eyes look a little watery. "Are they a bad thing to gift a tech-priestess? I'm sorry if I've offended you or something."
Mika shakes her head slightly. "I-I'm not mad. It-it's just that…"
Her lip is quivering a bit and she's trembling again. "N-no one's ever given me diodes before… I… I don't know what to s-say…"
Out of nowhere she erupts into sobs. "Whoa! Hey there, no need to cry!" You put an arm around her shoulders to comfort her and she hides her face in her sleeves.
"Sorry, I must have screwed up." Mika shakes her head more violently this time. "I-it-its not that… I like them… I-I really like them…"
She lowers her sleeves, and despite the tears she's wearing the biggest smile you've ever seen on her. "It's the nicest… The nicest thing anyone's ever given me…"
"B-but… I don't have anything for you…" Her smile fades a bit. You laugh, lowering your arm to her back and giving her side a little squeeze.
"Spending some time with me is way better than me giving you some little gifts. And the mechanical arm is pretty awesome." She gasps and then beams.
"The arm! I almost forgot, I need to finalize it!" You don't protest as she grabs your arm and pulls you to your feet. She looks so happy she's practically glowing.
She giggles and informs you of some of the technical aspects as she walks you to the workshop. You don't understand any of it, but you nod and smile. You just like hearing her voice. Mika pushes open the doors, leading you back into the little shop she's set up for herself. Rows of assorted gears, strands of wire, a metric fuck-ton (actual imperial standard measurement) of tools.
"Um… You'll need to take your shirt off…" She bites her finger and looks away, embarrassed. You comply, pulling it off and setting it aside.
She reaches out slowly, her delicate fingers drawing nearer and nearer, finally placing themselves on your chest. She pulls back slightly at the touch, and looks you in the eyes. You smile. She does too.
Gently she pushes you down onto a table, and you lay flat on your back. She takes your mechanical arm in her own hand and pulls it away from you slightly so she can work on it. Despite the arm being metal, you can still feel the soft caress of her fingers as she places them in different spots along it.
You watch as she works diligently, her eyes matching your content smile. It feels a little strange when she starts adjusting things, despite that, you find yourself enjoying the moment. Mika hums quietly to herself as she makes minor adjustments, turning a screw here, calibrating a servo there… You can tell she's enjoying herself too.
"…There…" She closes a panel and secures it. "It's finished." She smiles sweetly at you.
You start to get up, but her hand stops you. Mika is looking away, biting her bottom lip. "Actually, there's one last adjustment I need to make… Can you… Can you close your eyes for just a second?"
You lay back down and shut your eyes. Soft hair tickles your nose, and it takes everything you've got to not open your eyes right the hell now.
You feel soft lips plant a tender kiss on you cheek. "Eeeek!" Mika jumps back, covering her face.
"I-I-I can't b-believe I just did that!" You stand back up, grabbing her hands and gently moving them aside.
There isn't anything you need to say, as you lean in and kiss her. She jumps as your lips touch, but you don't let her retreat, and after a second she stops trying and one of her mechanical claws softly wraps around you, followed slowly by her hands.
Meanwhile
"Master Abbadon, we've arrived…"
Abbadon nods, than has to blow the hair out of his eyes, which are seething in fury. "Show it to me."
One of his followers runs his gauntleted hand across the object, wiping away countless millennia of dust. "…Are you certain this will work master?" Another follower, a sorcerer, asks tentatively.
Abbadon smiles, a mirthless, cold endeavor. "Certain? Nothing is certain. However if the fools of the chaos gods think they can simply whisk me aside into obscurity, than perhaps it is time I find new gods."
Abbadon's heartless laugh echoes throughout the chamber as he peers down at the symbol. The white and black two-tone skull sneers its toothy grin up at him…
You awaken from your deep hibernation, your roar petering off into a yaaawwwnnnnn. Fucking bear leaves, you sleep like a ROCK on bear leaves. Scratching at your flaming head, you awaken a few daemonettes in the process, who smirk up at you and poke you in the belly.
"Right, probably time for breakfast then, is it?" You wake the other thirty or so daemonettes up, as you stand up and stretch out.
"Yeah, definitely time for breakfast." You sluggishly wander over to a cupboard and pull out a big box labeled "instant cocaine!"
Pouring yourself a generous portion, you grab the cup and sit down. You inhale the contents quickly, and it perks you up.
"AHHH, NOTHING LIKE THE FIRST CUP OF COCAINE IN THE MORNING!" Just as you reach for a second helping, a daemonette slaps your hand away. "OI, WHAT GIVES!?"
She wags her finger at you. "Don't give me that, you know the doctor said you need to start monitoring your cocaine intake."
She sets down a plate with a crepe on it. "...REALLY?"
"Naww, I was just fucking with you." You and the daemonettes consume no less than fifteen boxes in an hour or so.
Thread 12: ORKS IZ MADE FOR ROKKIN!
Mika slowly pulls away from you. "That was…" She's looking away, one of her mechanical arms twiddling madly with a piece of her hair.
"Good?" You inquire.
"Better than good…" You enjoy several more hours with her, in which she is kind enough to make you quite a delicious sandwich. You wish she would ditch her robe so you can see what's under it.
"*ARF ARF*" Barks Rex from the entry room.
"Ah!" Mika exclaims suddenly, looking back.
"I forgot, today I need to run some maintenance on Rex!" She hurries out with you in tow.
Rex is sitting there in all his banebladenss, busying himself trying to get into the bag with his treats. "You should go get some stuff done." Mika smiles, before looking at the tank.
"This is going to take… Quite a while." She adds, noticing several issues including oil leaking from one of the forward guns.
"Err… You sure you don't want me to stick around?" You ask, eyeing SLaDOS nervously.
Mika laughs. "Well, I would, if Rex here wasn't VERY concerned with how you are around vehicles."
"Wait, you speak baneblade?"
"I DO speak baneblade…" Mika plants a quick kiss before whipping around to grab a toolbox and sprinting off to Rex, her face noticeably red even from where you stand.
You grin, you won't let her get away so easy next time, but you shouldn't press the issue today. The cannoness's bike is all ready set to go, now you just have to figure out where to ride...
Orks…
From the moment you first saw one, you developed a distaste for Orks. It could be due to the fact the first Ork you ever saw nearly chopped you to pieces, but you digress… Never in all your time though, have you seen the Orks acting so damn bizarre. For fucks sake, the skull showed you footage of Orks BATHING.
Now watching from a relatively safe distance through your binoculars, you swear they have put on their Sunday best… The sight of an Ork in a peacoat, albeit one several sizes too small, severely unnerves you.
"Something just ain't fuckin right…" You mumble to yourself. Two boys are helping a nob with a tie, they themselves already crammed into hideous mustard yellow suits.
You watch in abject horror as a gretchin walks out of a nearby trukk, wearing a no-shit frilly white dress. Even more terrifying, the Orks gathered around begin to bow politely to the gretchin… Who courtesies back at them… What the fuck? "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to spy?" A quiet, dignified voice inquires.
"Ahh! Fucking ghost voices get out of my head!" You roll to your right, clawing at your temples, before you realize the voice wasn't in your mind. Too much warp shit might have you a bit paranoid.
Turning slowly, you swallow hard at the sight. A lone figure, staring you in the face from but feet away. …The white frilly dress accentuating her exquisite full breasts. Green breasts. "Oh Emprah if you are going to breast I MEAN, eat me, please kill me first."
The Ork girl gives you a quizzical look and tilts her head slightly.
"Also why don't you speak…Orky?"
She smiles, blue eyes gleaming in the sun. "WOT? CHU MEAN MOOAR LIKE DIS DEN EH? DIS 'OW CHU WANT ME TA SPEAK TA YA HUMIE?"
You reel back quickly. "No! NO. Please go back to the first way."
She snorts with laughter before giving you a more scrutinizing look. "You don't look like a beakie, but you are very brave to be out here alone and so lightly… Armed." She toys with your mechanical bits absent mindedly with her left foot.
"Yeah well, didn't have much choice about that. I don't need a lot of weaponry anyways." You aren't sure why you are telling her this, but you don't think she is going to kill you… Probably.
"Also I picked the hat over a bigger gun." You add as you stand up. You are fairly tall, but she has you beat by a few inches. Though it could just be her heels.
She looks thoughtfully at your Commisar hat and after a few moments turns away.
You can't help but notice, in stark contrast to the other Orks, this particular one is quite beautiful. And Female. Her full pink lips flaunt a light playful smile that makes your heart flutter. Her skin looks incredibly soft despite a more athletic frame. She definitely works out, but from what you can see it must just mean she is lean and sexy underneath that dress. Even through the frills you can make out her hourglass figure.
"So what is your name? I'll admit this is the longest conversation I've had with an Ork." The girl laughs, her brown hair blowing in the wind.
"Dakkaren, my dad isn't exactly original when it comes to stuff like that."
"Alright, well… How should I put this…" You put on your best thinking pose.
"Why are the Orkz acting like a buncha gits?" She finishes for you.
"Yes, that."
The Ork girl smiles. "Well, you are about to find out."
You don't know how you missed the heavy footfalls, but the loud breathing behind you makes you groan as you turn around.
A massive Ork is grinning at you, two immense tusks jutting out of his lower jaw. "Hahaha, wotz dis den? Find ya a 'umie playfing did ya Dakkaren?"
Before you can move, he's grabbed you around the torso with his gigantic power klaw. He brings you up to his face, looking you over.
"Oh daddy, he's just curious is all…" The Ork girl laughs.
The warboss squeezes you even harder. "You isn't tryin ta hurt mah wittle pwincess is ya? Imma krump ya good fer dat." You can't even breath as his klaw tightens further.
"No… Sir…" You gasp. His grip loosens a bit, but only enough for you to barely breath.
"As a matta ah principal, I usually jus get stompy wif 'umies…" The power klaw loosens enough for you to fall to the ground, clutching at your sides as you gasp for air. You aren't going to be able to avoid that massive foot coming down on you.
"Hold on, don't kill him yet." Dakkaren puts out a hand and stops the warboss despite the fact that it looks like he could crush her with a nasty look.
"Iz you sure 'bout dat?" The warboss looks a bit disappointed. It is at that moment that you realize something.
The warboss is wearing a black suit, or at least a very Orkish attempt at one, over his armor. The Ork girl nods. "Well, youz da prettiest you iz…" The warboss beams, and lowers his leg.
"T-thanks for the save?" You ask the Ork girl.
"Well, we'll see if it was worth it. I may be the princess but I'm not really the boss." She giggles.
"Also, please call me Karen. It sounds a bit more civilized." Before you can answer, the warboss grabs you again and holds you above his head.
"C'mon humie, wez got fings we need ta git dun."
The two start down toward the other Orkz, with you unable to escape the clutches of the warboss. "While I'm up here, mind explaining to me how you guys made a girl? …Did you loot her…?"
"Hah!" The warboss snaps.
"I lost me arm in a roight good fight wif some beakies dat got into me ship. Grots left it and soon nuff dis one here popped up." He smiles down lovingly at Karen. You didn't think an Ork face was capable of such a thing.
"Err… I didn't think orks could pop up as anything but… Well… orks?" The warboss snorts at your comment.
"I told da grots ta jus git rid a da lot of em, didn't need ah buncha new boyz poppin up on mah ship. Dis one 'ere got roight krumpy wif dem, stole a choppa, an cut off mah toe." He holds up his foot and smiles down at it.
"It wuz den dat I knew, dis one 'ere was roight killy."
"Oh daddy, you're embarrassing me." Karen punches his shoulder and the warboss laughs.
"So let me get this straight, she grew out of your arm, killed a few grots, and became the princess…?"
"Roight."
"Well, fair enough I guess. Anyways, mind letting me go now?" The warboss laughs and sneers up at you.
"Let ya go? Ya isn't da boss if ya let 'umies go." He chuckles, waving you around a little bit.
"Err… Karen. Mind if you tell me what's going to happen?" The work girl shrugs.
"Well, if you can best daddy here in one on one combat you might be released, maybe." …That isn't very reassuring.
There are now Orks looking curiously at you as the warboss carries you through the crowd. One tries to take a swing at you but the warboss knocks him aside with the power klaw carrying you. "OI! YOU GITZ BACK OFF, DIS ONE IS MINE!" He roars, swinging you around in front of him, which is very painful.
He holds you back in front of his face, looking at you hungrily. "Now den 'umie, you an I is gon 'ave sum fun…"
As he sets you down, you notice a wall of weaponry.
Slowly you reach out and pick up a weapon. Well, not exactly a weapon.
The guitar in your hands is heavy, and looks to be made almost entirely out of metal looted from guitars, various tanks, and you even recognize a bit of Imperial coffee maker. The warboss chuckles from behind you.
"Now dats an intraesting choice dat iz." He reaches out with his power klaw and grabs a massive guitar in the shape of an axe with what looks like flamers poking out the side of it and a chainsword for a neck.
"Get me mah rockin arm ya grots!" He fires several rounds from his triple linked autocannon right arm, mostly at the feet of a few nearby boyz but a few rounds hit them in the legs.
A few seconds later, a Mekboy is busying himself attaching something else that you can't see. You finger the guitar strings nervously. This isn't the first time you've played one, Helena made you learn so you could play while she sang. But that was a long time ago.
The warboss leaves into the crowd, and you didn't get a chance to see what they attached in replacement of his autocannons. That is, until a massive stage is illuminated to your right, to the roar of the Orkz.
The warboss lumbers out, absolutely shredding on the guitar. "DIS 'UMIE 'ERE FINKS EH CAN OUTROKK DA WARBOSS, WAT CHU BOYZ TINK A DAT?!"
The crowd roars furiously at his words. Grinning, the warboss increase his speed. Those are some fucking tasty riffs. You feel a knot in your stomach.
You can see what's replaced his arm now, it looks almost like an ogryn arm really. From here, you can barely read the tattoo on the side of it. "V. Halen"
The warboss raises his arm high above his head, clutching the guitar in his power klaw. His song begins.
What follows is likely the Orkiest thing you've ever witnessed. The warboss is absolutely tearing up the guitar, his power klaw somehow incredibly dexterious as it flies over the neck. You can't really understand the vocals though, most of which consists of varying lengths of "Waaaggh!"
However the crowd seems to be absolutely eating it up, driving them into some kind of frenzy of swinging choppas and flashing shootas. The warboss seems spurred on by this, and is swinging the guitar around like an axe even as he continues to play. The crowd tosses an unlucky grot onto the stage and the boss dives into an even harder solo even as the teeth of the guitar neck sever the grots head.
After what seems like ten minutes, and the final eardrum shattering guitar tapping solo, the warboss's song ends in a blaze of flamers. The boyz around you immediately start cheering for an encore, but the warboss holds up his hand. "I'll give ya gits moar afta dis 'umie."
Very suddenly you are snatched up by the crowd, who drag you forward and onto the stage, tossing you up onto the riveted metal surface. You turn around, squinting against the massive floodlights. The biggest crowd you and Helena ever played was maybe two, four hundred people.
There are at least five or so thousand Orks screaming in this crowd.
You start off slow as your hands get used to the massive guitar. You've got a song in mind, one of the few you ever did any vocals for. An ancient Terra relic, but a damn fine tune. Too bad you are going to have to make this damn Orky if you have any chance of pulling it off.
As you become more used to the feeling, you are ready. The Orks hang on the silence between bursts of guitar. One final gasp of air…
"Bosses gathered in their massesssss!"
"Just like Wyches at black masses!"
"Orky minds that plot destruction!"
"Weirdboys of Mork's construction!"
"In the fields da boyz is looting!"
"As the waaagh squig keeps turning!"
"Death and hatred to mankind!"
"Poisoning their brainwashed minds…"
"Oh Gork yeah!"
The Orks go nuts. Gunfire erupts through the crowd as they scream, slamming their choppers into the ground or at each other and screaming their warcry. You aren't sure how to interpret this, but you don't stop, your fingers loosening up and starting to feel good. A burst of warp energy near you, and Doomrider steps forth even as he picks up the song and continues with the rhythm portions.
"Politicians hide themselves away!"
"They only started the waaggh!"
"Why should they go out to fight?"
"They leave that all to the boyz!"
Doomrider is shredding right alongside you, and you are really going to owe him one after this.
"Time will tell on their power klaws."
"Making waagh just for fun."
"Treating boyz just like pawns in chess."
"Wait 'til their big stompah comes."
"Yeah!"
You can feel the rock flowing through you now as you and Doomrider synch together perfectly. You didn't know he played guitar, but he does so exceptionally. In reality he's probably way better than you are.
"Now in darkness 'ctan stops turning!"
"Ashes where the bodies burning."
"No more war squigs have the power."
"Hand of Fork has struck the hour."
"Day of judgment New York is calling!"
"On their knees the grots are crawling."
"Begging knobs for their sins."
"Tzeentch laughing spreads her wings."
"Oh Spork yeah!"
Holy shit, relief washes through you as you and Doomrider start into the final guitar portions. Your heart is racing, and despite the fear, you somehow enjoyed that. You notice the warboss yelling along with the rest of the Orks, though whether or not it's a "I'm going to kill you for beating me" yell, you can't yet be sure.
As the song finishes, Doomrider tosses you a quick salute before stepping back into a warp hole and vanishing.
After the last blast of guitar reverberates across the makeshift stadium, the crowd falls silent.
The crowd parts, and the warboss hops back on stage, eyeing you.
"Dat wuz…" He snatches you up in his klaw yet again.
"DA ORKIEST FING I'VE EVAH HEARD!" He yells, raising you over his head.
The Orks in the crowd lose it. "Waaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" They scream up at him.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He returns. With that he drops you and leaps down into the Orks below the stage and starts crowdsurfing.
They scream their warcry even louder as they rush in one massive mob out of the area, waving choppas and firing everything they've got. Several split off and hop into various vehicles, including a stompa, and follow the rest of the Orks. This leaves you almost alone inside the massive stadium.
Karen claps and cheers up at you. "Err… Where did they all go?"
"To go fight something, where else?" Karen says as she shoots her thong up at you like a rubberband.
The thong hits you in the face, and you grab it before it falls. Pink with frills. On an Ork… Really? Karen laughs and jumps excitedly.
"Encore! Encore!" She yells.
"Eh, do you really want one? I'm pretty beat…"
"Boo!" She cups her hands.
"That thong is worth at least ONE song!" She hounds you.
"Really?" You heckle, holding it up and giving it a comically curious look.
"If you don't play me a song, I'm taking it back…" Well, what should you play the Ork princess for an encore?
You dive right into a song from your youth. It's an old one that you once witnessed playing on an ancient Terra computer system that the Admech had been working on.
They were busy with their litanies of "work you piece of shit, fucking machine spirits ugh…" while doing the rhythmic dick slapping massage, when the computer fired to life. It's quite an intricate song, and pretty tiring. You only manage to play half of it before Karen looks a bit bored.
"Well, let's try this!" You shout, breaking immediately into "Cliffs of Cadia". Only your fingers completely flub it and both of you wince as the amps whine in protest.
"Well, that didn't go as planned…"
"Maybe you're tired after those songs?" Karen asks.
You've been holding back your secret weapon, but it might be time. It's never failed you before after all, you are just going to have to change up some lyrics…
"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the Ork girls are pretty."
"Take me home~" You repeat the chorus.
"Just an urchin liven under the streets"
"It's a hive world that's tough to beat."
"I'm your Commissar so buy me something to eat."
"Creed'll pay you at another time."
"Now get your ass back in line!"
"Rags to thrones or so they say"
"Ya gotta keep pushing for emprah and fame"
"It's all a gamble when it's just a game"
"Ya treat it like a heretical crime"
"Everybody's doin' the time!"
"Strapped in the chair of the city's purge chamber"
"Why I'm here I can't quite remember"
"The Apothecary general says its hazardous to breathe"
"I'd have another cigar but I can't see"
"Tell me who you're gonna believe!" Karen is dancing along, well, you think it's a dance anyways. Do Orks dance?
Just before you can continue into the next set of lyrics, something flies into your mouth and you grab your throat. Coughing hard, you pound on your chest as you realize you are choking on whatever it was. Karen jumps up on stage, raises a choppa over her head, and smacks your back with the flat of it.
The blow knocks whatever it was loose and it goes flying out of your mouth. "Let's play again sometime onii-chan!" The twenty legged hairy flying centipede calls out to you as it flies away.
"Nice end to the song..." Karen trolls you as you gasp for air and look around for something to drink to get the feeling of small hairs out of your throat. She hands you a bottle of something dark red, and you quickly take a drink. It's warm…
"Wut is that?" You ask without swallowing.
"Squiggoth blood."
"PPPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" It sprays out of your mouth.
"Not good?" You use your sleeve to clean off your tongue.
"Not for me." She laughs at you as she hands you another bottle, this one water, which you quickly slam.
"Well, I liked it until that last bit." She giggles as you set the guitar aside and lay down on the stage.
"It's been a long time since I played anything." You tell her about the humble band you and Helena had together. She listens fairly intently, you didn't think an Ork could have that kind of attention span.
"So what's your story? How is it, being the princess and all?" Karen lays down next to you, hands under her head and legs crossed. Her foot bounces a bit as she thinks.
"It's ok, I guess. It can be a lot of fun, but it's also a bit depressing to be the smartest one in the group sometimes."
"I can imagine. Well, no I really can't, but I can sympathize." Karen extends her arms out as though reaching into the sky.
"There are a lot of things I like, but what I love most is getting to travel around the stars." She says dreamily.
You contemplate that. It was kind of the reason you joined the guard. Well, that and the court order… "Now that I can understand, a bit. Still though, it has to be weird for you I would think."
Karen looks over at you, her face lit by the stage light. "…Sometimes. Daddy's great though, and most of the rest of them like me now. It was tougher early on, I got picked on a lot for being so small and girly."
"Hmm… That had to be hard on you." The two of you lay there for several long minutes.
"Can I have my thong back by the way?"
"Nah."
"Please!"
"While, I guess if I have to…" You hand it back to her. She stands up and lifts a leg as she hikes up her dress to put it on. You catch a brief glimpse of her ass, and wonder to yourself if it's the most heretical thing you've seen while on the planet. You wonder if she shaves her legs, or if they are just smooth like that, you don't think Orks are naturally too hairy.
"Ohohoho…" Karen says coyly.
"Uh! Err… Nice stage you've got here." You quickly pretend to marvel at the Orkish construction. She plants a foot on your chest and smiles down at you.
"Get a good look, human? Good thing daddy isn't here, eyeing up her little princess…" You break into a cold sweat.
"But I'll forgive you if you take me squigback riding!" She shouts cheerily after an uncomfortable pause, and she grabs you by the arm and lifts you to your feet. You follow her over into a very Orky stable, complete with guns jutting out of walls and several arms that end in saws of various sizes and types.
Inside, you find what you will be riding. Squigs. Big ones.
"How are we even…" But she cuts off your train of thought as she slaps a saddle down on one of them.
"C'mon, saddle him up! He won't bite! I think?" You reach out and grab the saddle off the wall, before looking back at your own squig.
"That's a good… err… squig. Let's just slip this on and…"
The squig gnashes out at you as you get close, and you have to jump onto the gate of a stall to stay out of it's teeth. "Aww, I think he likes you!" Karen comments as she rides her squig over.
"Really!? REALLY!?"
"Well no, that one has always been kinda mean…"
"Alright you round fuck, I'm going to ride you and you are going to like it." The squig eyes you as you drop down, saddle in hand, and activate your flamer.
He goes to try and bite you, but a burst of flame in front of him causes the squig to stop. "That's right, I am the boss!" You slap the saddle on its back and cinch it down.
"Ooh, good use of the flamer!" Karen claps her hands excitedly. "Ugh, this dress isn't going to work..." She shifts uncomfortably in the saddle.
"Go change, I'll wait."
More threads but no write up, just check out the originals listed at the bottom of the page.
"Are you sure about this, master?" Abbadon turns away from his reading and glowers back at his subordinate.
"Is this doubt? Do you doubt me now? All of you?" His minions shuffle slightly at his words, glancing around at each other.
"Oh, so its fear then is it? You fear this new god whilst the others mock us?" Abbadon doesn't wait any longer.
He begins the chant, the archaic scrawl through which he will regain his lost honor. The lighting in the room flickers, as though shadows are moving across their paths. "…Warmaster…" One of the marines protests, hefting his bolter.
Abbadon doesn't cease now, instead increasing his pace. His head feels woozy, but his body… Oh yes, his body.
The shadows seem to be collecting around Abbadon, overlapping his armor as though stuck to him. "How is that possi…Hurk?!" The marine talking is suddenly cut off as his flesh begins to ooze out of his armor.
"Master Abbadon! Help us!" Another pleads as he too begins to melt. Abbadon ignores their screams, he is slave to this feeling.
The flesh of the now silent marines arcs in grotesque motions as they begin to form together as they creep ever closer to the warmaster. "I will bring hell to this world, with you as my lord." Abbadon smiles, having said all he needs to.
All at once, the flesh descends upon him. Malal gazes into the mortal plane.
Today marks the start of his rise.
"Really?"
"Yeah, go for it, just don't take too long." Karen ties her squig to a post and runs down the stables until she is out of sight.
Several minutes pass… You sit anxiously on the saddle of your squig, who is still acting quite annoyed with you as he shifts his feet and clacks his jaw. You wish Karen would hurry up…
"Alright, this is much better!" She shouts as she hops over a fence into the stable. In place of her dress, she's now wearing a set of armor that looks custom-fit. Segmented pauldrons complete with spikes, gauntlets and shin guards, and a form-fit breastplate. It looks like something that would normally be worn into battle.
"Why the armor?" You finally ask.
"Huh? Oh this?" Karen gives her own armor a look over.
"Well… You never know what you might run into out there."
"Fair enough." You shrug. Karen laughs, but your ears are ringing.
You groan as you clutch your head, your vision blurry. It feels like the worst migraine you've ever had just stepped up its game. "Max!?" Karen yells, dashing over to your side.
But you don't hear her. You can't hear anything.
Finally the ringing subsides, and is replaced by another. With a trembling hand you pull out your communicator and look down at the screen. "Incoming Video Transmission from: Gary Oak"
You press accept. Abaddon sneers at you through the hologram.
"How good of you to answer, I was beginning to think you were perhaps too incapacitated." You hear what he's saying, but you have a hard time concentrating on it. Your head still aches. Though you do your best to try to conceal that fact, you have the feeling he knows.
"What do you want? I'm up for a rematch but we really should play something less one-sided this time." You taunt him, trying to put on a strong front. Abbadon chuckles, mockingly.
The hologram zooms out until you can see the whole of Abbadon's torso. Including the two new arms of rippling muscle wrapped in almost pure white flesh, as well as a new centerpiece on his front plate. A two-tone skull you don't recognize.
"Oh but Commissar, the game has just begun." You cry out as your mind seems to split open, as though ripping apart from the inside in some desperate attempt to escape your cranium. You grab at your temples, your hands greeted by a warm slippery mess. Your ears are bleeding.
As you convulse in agony, the only thing you can hear is Abbadon's voice. Karen pulls you from the saddle, and wings the communicator across the stable, doing her best to try to help you.
Your body collapses as you lapse into unconsciousness.
The ladle Esh was holding slips from her fingers, clattering to the floor. "Farseer, did you fe…"
"I did." Esh cuts off the intrusion quickly, but doesn't take her eyes off of her stew.
If only she could still focus on that, the perfection of the recepie she's been working on. Esh bites her lip in anxiety, her vision losing focus. She's worried about Max, having felt him just bear the brunt of a very strong energy. She turns her head to look out the viewscreen. "What was that?" The other elder asks as he wrings his hands together. "Malice…"
"Malice!?" Nurgle belches, before scowling and wiping off his mouth with his arm.
"You know you aren't welcome here!" Tzeentch hisses, putting a hand on her bulging belly as the Emperor steps between her and the newcomer.
"Oh my friends… How long it has been…." Khorne has had enough, he kicks over the table he was sitting at and hefts his axe.
"I'LL REND YOUR BONES TO DUST!" He howls, leaping forward and swinging his weapon in a fiery arc. Malal cackles joyfully as he absorbs the blow.
"Yess… Yesss… Give it to me… Give me… More!" Khorne keeps attacking madly, almost foaming at the mouth.
"That's enough!" Slaanesh howls, one of its tentacles wrapping around Khornes arms and pulling him back.
"Have you forgotten you oaf? You can't just slice him open." Nurlge reprimands Khorne before turning back to Malal, his usually joyous face now a icy glare.
"It's time to play… After so long… Its… MALICE'S TURN!" Skeletal hands erupt from the forgotten god, whipping around the room. The Emperor, having seen more than he cares to, steps forward with a thrust of his gleaming sword.
With a cackle, Malal's form turns to shadow and disappears. None of them say anything for several moments. "Well this... Was not something I'd planned for…" Tzeentch finally admits, sitting back down.
You finally peel your eyes back open, and wince at the pain. "Easy now, don't push yourself." Karen says, pushing your head back onto her lap.
"What just happened?" You groan, rubbing your eyes. The Ork princess shakes her head and looks out into the world beyond the stable.
"Something terrible, I fear."
Thread 13: ME MAX, YOU TONYA
The massive pain in your head finally passes, leaving you feeling normal.
Well, downright terrified, though that is relatively normal for a guardsman.
"Do you know that guy on the hologram?" Karen asks while she massages your temples.
"I do. Though last time I saw him, he didn't have any arms."
She screws her face up a bit at this.
"No arms?"
"None."
A few minutes of silence pass by, the wind having picked up a bit and the air growing colder.
"Bored?"
"Eh." You shrug.
"Want to help me fix up my 'eavy arma?"
That's how you found yourself, screwdriver in hand, helping an Ork princess do some modifications to a heavy and surprisingly not super Orky suit of armor.
"Thanks for doing this, it's difficult to get good help around here." Karen smiles as she reaches for a spanner.
"Really? Seems like you guys are genii when it comes to this kind of stuff." You reply through gritted teeth, having pinched the web of your hand in a joint.
"Well, they are good at a lot of stuff…" Karen muses as she turns a bolt.
"But, they don't seem to understand that I don't want to weigh this thing down even more by NOT strapping even MORE dakka all over it."
You stop dead, this is absolutely not correct.
"You can never have enough dakka…" You eyeball her, this is obviously a trap.
Karen laughs and sets her tool aside, before gesturing down at the left arm which is bristling with guns.
"If I add any more, I won't be able to lift the arm up."
You tap your screwdriver on the shoulder.
"That's why I'm thinking we add a rokkit launcha here." You grin.
"Well, dats roight Orky it is..."
The two of you work well into the night, replacing plates with too much damage, repairing wiring, adding that rokkit.
With a yawn you lay down on a wooden bench inside the Mek shop.
"Done already?" Karen teases.
"ah tareasd" You mumble incoherently, already falling asleep.
"Want the Dok to fix you something up so you can stay awake?"
"Please no…"
Karen giggles and turns back to her armor, continuing her work even as you drift off to sleep.
Several hours later you wake back up, groggily rubbing your eyes.
You realize Karen is carrying you in her arms.
"This feels backwards…"
"Oh hush up and go back to sleep."
Finally she sets you on a relatively comfortable bed, and you pass out almost as soon as your head touches a pillow sewn crudely into the shape of a choppa.
Your dreams consist of annoying Helena by placing a few rubbers spiders around the inside of her tank. She hates spiders…
Something gives your shoulder a shake.
"You might want to wake up, the waagh party is coming back."
You sit up with a yawn, stretching your arms above your head.
"Hmm… So?"
"Probably a bad idea to stick around here while they are still all riled up from a fight, it would be hard to get out of here once they return."
You check your communicator, at least its morning.
Karen walks with you through the camp, keeping an eye out for any early birds.
Finally you both arrive at the edge of the makeshift Ork settlement.
"Well, this was by far my Orkiest day." You yawn again, scratching your side, you need a shower.
"Mmm…" Karen mumbles, kicking the dirt and glancing up at you though you don't see it.
"It was good to play again though, haven't had a chance to do that in a while."
A pair of hands grabs you somewhat roughly by the head, turning you around.
Karen's face presses forward and in a split second your lips meet.
She's aggressive about it, and despite that you are actually enjoying it.
Finally she pulls away, poking at her chin as she looks off in the distance.
"Err… Cool?" You ask, still not sure what really happened.
"Haha... Sorry… It's just that I've always seen that in some of the looted movies we get, but I don't really have any desire to kiss any of da boyz…"
You kissed an Ork... And you liked it?
A horn blast and clatter of shoota fire in the distance causes you both to look over toward the horizon. Even from here, you can make out the dust cloud.
"You'd better go." Karen says, not looking away.
"Yeah. Um, you got some way I can contact you?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah!" She pulls out a mess of wires, gears, and riveted plating. You notice there is also a gun sticking out the side.
You give her your frequency and she gives you hers, though you have to interpret it over to something you can actually enter into your device.
With a final goodbye, you sprint off out of the camp, cutting a 90 degree away from the incoming Ork mob.
Even as you run, you think of something to do next.
You jump back onto your bike and rev it up, trying to put as much distance between you and the Orks as you can. Karen was fun, but you don't like the idea of being around a bunch of blood thirsty Nobs who maybe still have a battle hard on.
…Can Orks even get a hard on?
You decide that, out of everything, is a question you never want answered.
The cannoness's bike soars over the rough terrain, and you decide you will have to thank her for letting you borrow it when you get back.
Despite knowing you could return to somewhere of relative safety, for some reason you have the hunger for a bit of danger.
You cut the engine and coast as you approach the tomb, looking around wearily for any sign of the necron who almost gaussed you in the head after shooting up the flayed one.
The bike finally slows to a stop, and you've seen no sign of life. Or mechanical xeno monstrosities.
Quietly you slip off of the seat, the grass and leaves barely crunching underfoot.
You start to walk toward the mouth of the tomb, still looking around cautiously.
From what you remember, they taught you in training that a necron can take some serious punishment and keep going. Your right hand rubs at your mechanical arm as you continue to stalk forward.
You hope if you do get into some kind of fight, it will be enough.
Peering down into the darkness inside the cave causes a knot to form inside your stomach. Is the flayed one who wore Doug's corpse still down there?
Is it dead?
Something plants itself in the small of your back.
Before you can react, it boots you down into the tomb and you tumble down into the darkness. Steely mechanical laughter echoes along with you.
You are falling fast down the relatively steep incline, rolling end over end.
You stick out a foot to try and stop yourself, but it hits something hard and the pain reverberates through your entire leg and into your back.
All you can do is try to protect your head as you continue to slide and roll.
Finally you skid to a stop as the chamber levels out. You are bruised up from the fall, though thankfully it doesn't feel like anything is broken.
You feel around, nothing seems out of place.
Still, you are winded hard. You wipe the dirt off your face and blink it out of your eyes. You also pull off your hat and brush him off.
As you pick yourself up from the ground, you hear something skitter in the darkness.
Scratch that, several things.
All at once, they rush you from all sides.
Flayed ones, dozens of them.
Including once again, the one wearing your best friend, now sporting several gauss burns on the flesh.
You activate your plasma gun, but it's too late.
Several grab you in their bladed claws, pulling your arms back. Though they don't cut into your flesh, they will if you struggle.
The flayed ones all look to the one wearing your friend, who paces in front of you as he looks you over.
You notice something else.
He seems to be wearing your arm. Well, the skin off of it anyways. You recognize your tattoo of your home world's emblem on what used to be your forearm.
The flayed ones communicate in hisses and clicks, you don't know what they are saying.
All at once, they close on you, surrounding you.
You wretch, gag, rotten flesh pressing in on you from all sides.
Energy crackles through the air, and you feel your stomach drop.
You vomit as they teleport you.
s your head stops spinning, you open your eyes, incredibly dizzy.
You wipe the puke off of your mouth, though the stench still clings to you it seems. The smell of rotten flesh, that is.
An icy cold hand suddenly clutches you by the throat and lifts you into the air. You swing at it, trying to break its grasp, but it doesn't seem to relent.
Looking down, you notice a particularly large necron with lots of gold frills and extras hanging off of him. He seems to be grinning at you.
"Welcome, little flesh bag."
You continue to struggle, but it doesn't seem like much use. The necrons all around seem to be laughing at you, the flayed ones scraping their claws together as though hungry.
You gather up as much sanity as you can muster, focusing your mind.
With a glare you blast it out.
Several of the flayed ones beyond are thrown backwards, sailing end over end.
The necron holding you though…
His cape ruffles as if caught by a breeze.
He cackles squeezing harder.
You can't even struggle now, your head on fire from the inside it seems. Your hands can only grab weakly at his.
"You are a tough one aren't you, perhaps your face shall adorn the throne of Valgul. What an honor."
He throws you aside and you collapse to the ground, grabbing at your throat as you gulp in air.
"I'm not done yet… Motherfucker."
You stand up, doing your best to look tough despite the fact your brain feels like mush inside your skull. Your eyes feel wet and when you run a finger along one, you notice it gets soaked with blood.
Pulling your arm back, you prepare a punch that will break the heavens.
Or send you sailing off the platform you are on and into the vorpal nothing beyond.
"Take this! My love, my anger, and all of my sorrow!" You put your everything into your mechanical arm as you drive it forward.
The necron lashes out with his own, and your fists meet in the air. It's a metal on metal fisting competition.
Despite you pressing hard, with all of your might, your blows cancel each other out, leaving you both standing connected fist to fist.
The necron laughs, his mechanical skull shaking side to side.
You smirk.
"Shining finger, bitch."
The las blast bores a hole right through the necron's head. The large mechanical body seems to falter, swaying unsteadily on its feet.
You sidestep out of the way as it comes crashing down.
You blow on your finger like the scene out of an ancient Terran film.
"Alright, who's next?"
Only there are a lot of flayed ones here, none who seem to give the slightest care at their lord being dropped.
"Perhaps I shall try again?"
The necron lord pushes himself off of the ground, despite the damage, and starts getting to his feet.
"Hey buddy, can we hurry this up? I've got some stuff I want to do."
Your arm is talking to you.
"Statement: I say we ditch the meatbag. Did I say that out loud?"
Your arm is talking to itself?
"Hey, I like your style!" The first voice responds.
You don't have time for this…
You activate the plasma gun and start firing as you dive out of the way as the necron swings his staff, the bladed end almost catching you.
"Suggestion: You've missed four shots, perhaps you should practice more."
A flayed one's bladed hand comes way too close to severing your other arm, and you knock it aside with your mechanical one before it can. You don't want to be too mechanical. Though Mika might like it…
Plasma bolts sever arms and blast through flesh and plating of the flayed ones, but there are simply too many, and your arm is getting hot.
You keep firing, switching to your lasgun, as you back up. The flayed ones are running at you, and you know you don't have any way to fend off this many.
Three of them leap up at the same time, pouncing at you with claws ready to rend your flesh.
A simultaneous volley of gauss fire knocks them out of the air. You whirl around just in time to see a line of Immortals, weapons blasting away.
They appear to be lead by a single pariah.
You recognize it...
Well, as much as you don't really trust ANY necron at the moment, the flayed ones are far from the bottom of the long list of shit you hate. A hate-list being something you picked up from a brief meeting in a bar with an Angry Marines Commissar.
Firing your lasgun as cover, you sprint over toward the newcomers.
You notice, as you run, that while they do keep up their rate of fire, they seem to be taking the utmost precaution to avoid hitting you.
Ducking between two towering Immortals, you skid to a stop but not in time.
You collide into the Pariah before you can change course. "Ah…" She says, her voice sweet but robotic.
"I've been waiting for you my honey, I knew I'd find you!" She rubs her face into your own.
Well this is a bizarre scene.
You are in some kind of other dimension; or so you think, with necrons fighting necrons as you get loved up on by, of all things, another necron.
"Uhh… Do I know you?" You finally ask.
"Oh my sweetie is so funny. But the next time you run away from me I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF! YOU ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE, honey."
Well, that sure calms you down…
"I've been watching you ever since you came to this world. The first time I saw you I just knew I had to make you mine!" The necron girl continues happily as she smooshes you into her even more.
"Hah…Hah… You're joking, right?"
Her eyes glow green at your comment.
"D-does my honey not want me? Does he want someone else? I can't let that happen…" She pulls a dagger out of her cloak and raises it above you.
"O-of course not, I'm just joking around! Haha oh me the kidder!"
Her hand stops, poised to strike.
Finally her eyes return to normal.
"Oh you…" She snuggles you even harder.
"Yeah… Me…" You gulp.
"Congratulatory: *a wedding song starts to play*"
"Hey, get a room!" Your hand reaches into your pocket, produces a cigar, lights it, and proceeds to somehow smoke it with your thumb.
The necron girl looks at your arm, scowling.
"Such a rude thing… I don't like it…"
She brings the knife closer to where your mechanical arm meets your flesh.
"Observation: I don't think this is going to end well."
"H-hey now! No need to cut it off, they will shut up!" You laugh, pushing on the arm holding the knife.
"*Hey you two, shut the hell up!*" You hiss at your arm.
"Query: Can we exist without being attached to this meatbag?"
"I dunno, should we find out?"
You clamp your other hand down on the speaker, muffling them. Why did Mika even add a speaker?!
"I don't like them…" The necron girl says again, grabbing your arm more roughly and pressing the knife blade into the seam of flesh and metal.
You are going to have to think hard of something to do to stop her…
Too late, she plunges the knife down and buries it into the speaker, silencing it.
The two voices in your arm protest for a moment, but then fall silent. Well, at least she didn't cut it off. Mika can fix the arm, but you don't know if the two voices will return…
Until the necron keeps attacking the arm, stabbing it again and again. The weapons suite goes offline, and you find that the arm is now barely movable.
"Ah, now that's soo much better!" The necron coos happily as she grabs you around the middle again.
"Hey, can we put the knife away please!" You ask as it comes close to jabbing you.
She does that at least, before tugging on the arm of an Immortal.
"Hurry up! How much longer do you need?" She asks him. The Immortal gestures out, and you follow his finger.
The flayed ones lay in varying states of disassemble, most in too many pieces to recognize. The Immortals keep shooting to vaporize them entirely.
"Good, I need to give my honey a bath, he stinks!"
You feel your stomach drop again as she teleports you. Back inside the tomb, though in a different section it looks like. You don't recognize any of the surroundings, and you can't see far in the faint green light.
Still she's set you down as she tends to a large stone basin, turning knobs and dials.
"Hey, uh… Kinda dark in here isn't it?"
As if on command, the tomb illuminates further, to a more comfortable level.
"Well… It could be worse…"
"Oh honey! The bath is ready!"
While you don't like your current predicament, you aren't about to keep pushing her crazy buttons.
You slide out of your clothes, which is quite difficult with a barely functional left arm.
"Ara ara~" The necron says, as she eyes your junk.
You don't give her the satisfaction of continuing to eye you up, as you step into the warm water.
Sitting down, you submerge yourself up to your chest.
Despite everything going on, it actually feels pretty good. The Pariah hums some necron tune as she busies herself scrubbing you down. You just sit there limp and take it while your mind jumps around trying to figure out some way out of this mess.
Her metal fingers don't actually feel terrible, and somehow you really think deep down she actually loves you. Too much.
"Does it feel good my sweet?" She asks as she rubs what you believe to be shampoo into your hair.
"Uh… Yeah…?" You answer, still desperately trying to muster your inner Tzeentch and come up with a plan.
"You know, I could make you feel even better…"
"So uh, before that, can I get your name? I need to associate your lovely face with it."
The necron girl sits up slightly at your comment, her mechanical brow furrowing.
"My… My name…?" She asks, touching her lips as though unsure.
"I need a name? You won't love me without a name?" Her hands grab you tightly, without your mechanical strength there is no way you could break that grip. Damn you wish your arm was fully operational.
"That's uh… Not exactly what I meant…"
But she doesn't seem to hear you, her eyes starting to grow more and more green.
"Name… Name… Name…" She keeps mumbling to herself, increasing in speed as she repeats the word, her eyes starting to glow brighter and brighter.
Her fingers seem to lose a bit of their tightness, you might be able to slip away…
"I'll call you Tonya."
Her eyes stop glowing, and her fingers relax.
"Tonya…Tonya…" She repeats it, playing with it.
"*Archiving name, please wait… One percent…*"
"Huh?" You turn around in the bath.
Several seconds go by.
"*…Five Percent…*" The completely monotone robotic voice chimes again.
Shit! This might be your chance to escape!
You snatch up your clothes and start pulling them on as fast as you can manage with one working arm and a half broken one.
"*…Fifty percent…*"
"Hey! You skipped a bunch!" You yell as you stuff your feet into the boots.
Wasting no time with anything else, you break into a fast run into the tomb.
Shoving your way between two Immortals guarding the door, you sprint as fast as you can manage. Perhaps the fastest in your life.
After several twists and wrong turns, you finally find the way back up to the surface.
"Where are you going, my honey? YOU CAN'T RUN FROM OUR LOVE!"
Tonya bursts out from around a turn and starts running up after you. She's fast!
Still, you aren't going to give up here.
Your legs pick up the pace and finally carry you out into the fresh air.
You are relieved to see the bike where you left it, and you run all out at it as the necron starts to close the distance.
Leaping on, you start it up as fast as you can. The engine doesn't seem to want to ignite.
"Fucking machine spirit! Get the fuck moving!"
Finally the bike fires to life, and you twist hard, Tonya mere feet from you now.
Her fingers graze the back of the bike even as you spray her with dirt in your desperate bid to escape.
Finally you are out of her reach, you sigh in relief.
"I'LL FIND YOU!" You hear her voice call after you.
"YOU WILL BE MINE! ALL MINE! ONLY MINE!"
Finally her voice fades in the distance, masked by the rumble of the bike.
Mika scoffs and scolds you a bit as she looks your arm over. You feel a bit bad, you haven't had it for long and it's already pretty beat up.
Despite this, she starts into fixing it and you lay back on the table.
After several hours and more than one test fire, it seems to be back in tip-top shape.
Though the voices haven't returned.
"What could those have been?" You ask her.
Mika shrugs.
"Magnetic interference?" She finally muses out loud.
Thread 14
You let Mika finish up on the arm, and after one last test, its back in shape and you can feel the weapons suite back online.
The techpriestess is quietly snoozing now, she must have been staying up late working on Rex.
Being a gentleman, you carry her onto a bed and tuck her into it.
With a kiss on her forehead, you turn and leave.
The bike waits for you, now you just have to decide where to take it.
The bike roars as you ramp it out of the exit, gunning the engine hard and catching some air.
Rex barks and chases you, his antenna wagging. What a carefree baneblade…
You activate your plasma gun as you speed toward a tree, and with one quick burst you fell it in a shower of splinters.
It's a good thing Mika could fix it up, as much as you miss your old fleshy arm, this one is admittedly more fun.
Reaching into your pocket you grab out your communicator and select the frequency. You barely manage to avoid hitting a pile of rocks as you dial.
"M-Max?"
"Sup blue tits."
"…Max uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…." It sounds like she's about to have a mental breakdown.
"Is something wrong?" You bring the bike to a stop.
"It's my brother, I can't find him anywhere and he's not answering his communicator! I'm really worried about him!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure we will find him." You try to calm Ailia down.
"…Are you sure?"
"I'm not just sure, I'm space aids positive, now where can I meet you at?"
"Here, I'll send you my location."
Your communicator buzzes as it receives the new information.
"You aren't really…."
"Nah, I'm clean."
You gun the engine again, following the coordinates the Tau girl gave you.
It's about half an hour away, so you settle in for the ride, getting comfortable on the bike. You really hope you can find Ailia's bro, it's a bit worrisome that she hasn't found him even after all this time.
With the Crisis suit now visible in the distance, you stow your communicator and speed through the last few minutes. As much fun as it will be to see Ailia again, you know it will be ruined if you don't find her brother.
A knot forms in your stomach.
He has been missing a long time…
You slow to a stop in front of the suit, Ailia is sitting on the hatch.
Her usually cheerful face is downtrodden, and she looks like she hasn't slept in days.
"Hey, you alright?" You slide off the bike and give her hanging leg a friendly squeeze.
"I don't know…" She finally laments, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Well, have you picked up any kind of trail?"
"Not much. It's like he's disappeared from the face of the planet." Ailia sighs and slips off of the hatch, falling rather clumsily to the ground.
While she protests at you demanding she sit down and eat, you don't give in. After you insist, she finally digs into some chow you stored in the saddlebag of the bike, though you can tell her mind is elsewhere.
Yours is too.
With no leads to go on, doubt begins to form, weighing heavily on you.
"What kind of leads do you have?" You finally ask after she sets the food aside.
"Well, several of them, none of which seem too solid." She pulls out a map with hastily scribbled Tau writing all over it, and though you don't read Tau, you give it a look.
"His last communication was in the Tyranid area to the north. Some kroot thought they saw him way off in the distance headed toward Chaos lines. His tracking signal shows he's along the beach, but the signal hasn't moved in days. These are the last three places I haven't checked." She gestures around on the map.
"So we should try these out then, I'm sure he's bound to be at one of them!" You try to fire the Tau girl up, but it doesn't look like she's having any of it.
"Alright, as much as I know you are going to hate this…"
"Don't say it."
"We're heading toward the Tyranids."
"I told you not to say it…" Ailia looks northward, you can tell she's none too thrilled at the prospect.
"I'm joking, let's try the beach first."
You hug her around the middle from behind and give her a squeeze. Her bouncy goods feel nice on your arm, though that wasn't your reason for doing it.
"What happens if we don't find him?" She asks as she sinks back into you.
"We will."
You lift her back up until she's standing on her own.
"Trust me, if I can somehow survive this fucking place, your bro won't have any problem."
Ailia sighs, but then stands up and slaps herself on the face a few times with both hands.
"Alright! He's got to be at the beach. He IS at the beach!" She pumps her fist and looks fired up.
"That's more like it, this is the blueberry I remember!"
She turns around and gives you a big smile, looking entirely more energized now.
"You've got luck on your side, with you along, we are sure to find him." She puts her hands on her curvy hips and looks up at her Crisis suit.
Huh?
Your spidey sense is tingling on its own?
"Get down!"
You tackle Ailia to the ground, your face bouncing off of her xenobags as both of you hit the dirt.
Crack!*
The shot misses, but still only by a hair.
Whoever is shooting at you, they are good.
You were just lucky enough to have your untrained mind powers detect the threat, though you don't know how you did it.
"What the hell was that?!" Ailia asks as you move her over to behind your bike, using it for whatever little cover its worth.
"I can't be sure, I've only heard it once…"
Another shot makes a loud *PING* as it slams into the bike, which thankfully is stout enough to stop it.
"No, now there's no mistaking it."
You bite your lip, this isn't good.
"That's an Exitus rifle..."
You know it's only a matter of time now. All the assassin has to do is move around until he can get the angle right and then its bye bye Yagis V and hello Warp.
As much as you like Kaleshi, you want your next meeting with her to be on your terms.
Another shot cracks into the bike, puncturing the engine and severing it as a means of escape.
Meanwhile…*
Eight curses, his first assignment and he's already missed his target.
He tracks the rogue guardsman and his xeno associate through the scope as they lay behind the bike, hidden from his fire.
Fuck it, he's going to have to move.
Eight rises up from his perch, his crosshairs remaining fixed on the bike as he shifts to his right to get a better angle for a kill shot…
You can sense something is up, this might be your one shot to get out of here alive.
"Ailia, we are going to have to do something right now or we are going to get dusted by this assassin."
The Tau girl nods, she's no newbie when it comes to combat.
"Alright, take this."
You hand Ailia hat-chan, she takes it but looks confused.
"Put that on the end of your gun, when I tell you, pop it up over the bike."
Shit you hope this is going to work, the anti-sniper training you received mentioned fuck all about Vindicares. Would he even fall for something like this?
You ready your lasfinger, hoping the distance wouldn't be too great for you to make the shot. You were only ever a middle-of-the-pack marksman after all.
Well, here goes nothing.
"Now!"
Eight watches through the scope as the brim of the hat comes up over the bike.
Amateurish.
He doesn't fire a shot.
Several seconds pass, and Ailia looks over at you confused.
"Shit, guess he isn't going for it…"
Well, you have to try something.
"As soon as shit goes down, get into your suit as fast as you can…"
You don't give her time to question you.
"FUS ROH DA!"
You send the bike spinning toward the assassin, at the same time you ready your lasfinger.
Is that him in the distance? You can't be sure, but you have to take the shot.
You pull up and fire!
Eight drops the rifle and dives for cover as the lasbolt hits his gun.
He curses and draws his sidearm.
Things are not going according to his plan…
"I hit him!?" You yell, as much in excitement as disbelief.
"Nice shot!" Ailia says, before the hatch to her suit closes and the walking gun platform powers up.
You notice the Vindicare running toward you now, his sidearm out.
Poor guy doesn't stand a chance.
Ailia gets the Crisis suit online, and quickly fires a missile from her pod.
You watch the trail as it arcs toward the assassin, who goes to dive to the ground but doesn't make it.
The missile impacts behind him, throwing him forward. He tumbles end over end until smacking hard into the ground, where he lays still.
You stick close to the Crisis suit as you and Ailia move forward to check it out.
Standing over the Vindicare now, you notice he's skinny and short. Not exactly what you had expected to find.
You flip the body over with your foot and, keeping the barrel of your plasma gun pressed to his chest, pull of the mask.
"He's just a kid…" You look down at the limp body lying in the grass, and can't help but feel a bit sorry for him.
The assassin stirs slightly, and you toss his weapons aside, Ailia making sure her burst cannon is too close to miss.
You prod the Vindicare with your foot.
"Wake up kid, I've got some questions."
The assassin opens his eyes, looking ready to fight. He notices the Crisis suit baring down on him, and your plasma arm shoved into his chest, and decides against it.
"Like I said, I've got some questions and you are going to answer me."
The kid, no older than fourteen or so, looks around with his hawkish eyes, searching for some way out.
Finally he glares back at you.
"I've got nothing to say to a heretic."
You smile.
"Yeah, I figured as much. Ailia, mind stepping on out here?"
"…Huh?" The booming voice comes from the Crisis suit.
"Don't worry, he so much as farts and I introduce his heart to plasma."
After several moments, the hatch opens up and Ailia drops down onto the ground beside you.
"Alright kid, I didn't want to have to do this but I know torturing it out of you probably wont work."
You grab Ailia around the middle and pull her closer to you.
"Which is why if you don't tell me everything I want to know, I'm snapping a picture of you kissing this here Tau and sending it out on the net. Every ship from here to Cadia will see it." You lie, hopefully convincingly.
The Vindicare swallows hard, looking between you and Ailia. He knows what would happen if you did that, and he doesn't seem to realize you are bluffing.
"You wouldn't…" He finally hisses.
"I've already gotten freaky with this here space commie, don't tell me what I wouldn't do." You grab one of Ailia's boobs for effect, giving it a little squeeze.
The Tau girl is blushing hard beside you, but she doesn't budge.
"What do you want to know…?" The assassin finally relents, looking away.
"Well for starters, why are you trying to put a bullet through my head?"
The kid's steel gaze locks with your own.
"…You mean you don't even know?"
"Know what, exactly?" You press.
"The Inquisition has it out for you, you're the most wanted man in the sector."
This…
Your body can't handle this.
You almost lower the plasma gun as your mind reels. The Inquisition is after you? How do they even know about you? The assassin laughs.
"You don't know how it happened, do you? The city is rigged up with cameras, they saw you consorting with xenos." He laughs even harder as your face goes white.
"So what do they know?" You ask, though you can already guess its any of the hundreds of heresies you've committed.
"Hmph, enough to want you dead, which is all I was told."
You grab the kid by his vest and pick him up until he's facing you.
"Are they here yet? Are you the only one?"
The assassin laughs and shakes his head, as though in disbelief.
"They don't need to be here. This planet has already been deemed beyond saving. If I failed my mission here, well…"
He trails off, still shaking his head.
Furious, you grab him by the jaw and force him to look at you.
"Well WHAT?!"
He stops laughing, his eyes now serious and perhaps even gloomy.
"Simple." He looks up at the sky.
"Exterminatus…"
You can feel the blood draining from your head.
"When?" You ask in barely a whisper.
The assassin shrugs, turning back to look at you.
"Whenever they are ready, I guess."
"Do you have any idea when that might be?" You grab the assassin on the shoulder.
"Why should I tell you? We're already both dead."
"If we are already dead, why so scared of one little picture with a Tau?"
The Vindicare looks to Ailia, then back at you.
"It's not important."
Well whatever, you don't really care about that tidbit of this kid's life at the moment. The fact that the Inquisition is after you is one thing, that they are going to glass this planet to get you is something entirely different.
"What's your name, kid?" You ask, letting go of him.
"…Eight." He finally responds.
"Alright, Eight. Here's how it's going to be. I don't particularly want to die and I'm sure you don't either. You may not believe me right now and it isn't really important if you do, but the Emperor himself has sanctioned what I've done and getting exterminated right now would kind of dick him over as well."
The Vindicare looks at you like you are crazy.
"You're nuts."
"Yeah, I know. But I'm not lying to you."
"Oh yeah? Prove it."
That stops you mid-thought.
"I… I can't." You admit.
"Well no shit? So I'm just supposed to go on your word then, am I?"
"Um… Max?" Ailia says, tapping you on the shoulder.
"Just a second…" You brush away her hand.
Eight looks up at you, awestruck.
"Maybe I can convince you dude." Comes the booming voice from behind you.
You recognize that voice, and whirl around.
"Emprah!"
He smiles and raises a hand to signal silence. You notice it isn't really him in the flesh, more like some kind of hazy projection of him.
Eight's mouth is still moving, but he isn't saying anything, eyes fixated on his god.
"So Eight… I know you've had a pretty tough break in life kid, but I'm going to need your help on this one man." The Emperor says, folding his arms and looking down at the awestruck Vindicare.
"My… My help, Emperor?" He gulps.
"Yeah dude, your help. You see its like this… Max here is my bro, and he's helping me out with some serious shit that I needed done. It's a big responsibility dude, lots of stuff he has to deal with. Really tough stuff. Now I'm not quite ready to come back to the forefront yet, so Max here is going to set things up so I can without everyone losing their collective shit. If he dies here, that kind of fucks with my chi, you dig? So bada bing bada boom, you either help him or get out of his way." The Emperor sums it up with a shrug.
"Uh… Emprah…" You finally ask, pulling his projection aside.
"Couldn't you uh… Just tell the Inquisition off yourself?"
The Emperor bites his lip and looks away.
"Yeah man… I'm not really ready to deal with those guys yet. They are a serious buzzkill and probably wouldn't believe me, which is why I need to come back in the flesh before I can talk to them."
"So… I'm on my own here?" You finally ask, not liking the thought of it.
The Emperor laughs.
"Naw man, I'm not a douche. This guy is going to help you out."
With a pop, a figure warps into view next to Ailia.
"Shas'O. Ready to kick some ass."
"Aniki!" Ailia shouts, throwing her arms around the newcomer.
"Hey little sis, what's going on?" He tussles her hair.
"Oi! This is getting too long! You'd better let me give you a haircut once this is over." He picks up strands of her hair disapprovingly.
The Tau commander is large, and has to be even outside his armor. He has his helmet off, and his face though kind looking, is battle hardened and bears several scars.
His gaze falls to you, and he pats Ailia on the head before approaching you.
"Your Emperor filled me in on the current situation. In return for taking care of my sister, I've agreed to help you out here."
He holds out his hand, which you clap with your own, grabbing it in a broshake. His right arm is huge, at least twice the size of his left. With the armor on it looks a bit weird, but his right arm is fucking ripped. Dude's been eating his oats.
"Good to have you. If you're half as tough as Ailia makes you out to be, you might not even need me."
The Taubro laughs before slipping on his helmet.
"If you're half as nuts as I've been told, I might not even get a chance to help."
Ailia slaps her brother on the back.
"Are you sure you're all right onii-chan? I mean, this is your first time back in the field since the… Incident…"
"I'm fine, I'm SKULLS FOR THE!... fine. See? Nothing wrong."
"Err… Right…" Ailia says, having pulled her upper body away.
You turn back to the Emperor, who's still talking to Eight. "So dude, will you help us out here? I could use an extra hand to help Max out on his mission."
Eight nods furiously.
"It is my honor, Emperor. On my life, I'll see him through to the end of it."
"Alright dude, your in." The Emperor gives him a handshake, though the assassin can't feel it he can see it.
"Hey Emprah, how's Tzeentch?" You ask, glad to be talking to him again.
"Ahh, yeah she's good man!" He grins.
"Really starting to show, guess I've got to be ready to be a dad and all but it's cool. Chaos gods said they wanted to invite you over for dinner at their place one of these nights man, maybe once this Exterminatus business is over and whatnot."
"Really? That sounds like… Fun…?" You aren't sure how you feel about it.
"Yeah man, it will be a blast. Oh hey, Nurgle says he's got something to give you next time you see him!" The Emperor remembers suddenly, and looks like he's sizing you up.
"Yeah… Should work…" He mutters.
"So Emprah, how are we going to get up there?" You ask, feeling a bit of dread at the prospect of a surprise gift.
"I mean, I assume they have a ship up there, maybe a fleet even…"
"Hmm…" The Emperor rubs his jaw.
"Well… The Tau have quite a few ships but that would be a big fight… Maybe borrow one from the wolves… hmmm…" He looks deep in thought.
"Oh wait, man I almost forgot." He laughs as he shakes his head in his hand.
"I can just do this."
"Boo-woop!"
You, Eight, Ailia, and Kais are suddenly standing on the bridge of the Inquisition flagship.
"By the Emperor… What is this?" An Inquisitor asks, raising an eyebrow.
Several Grey Knights jostle to stand beside him.
"Uhh… Err… Evening gents?" You mutter.
"Showing up for your own execution, how noble." The Inquisitor laughs.
"Finish him quickly, I have an Exterminatus to attend to." He starts heading toward an exit.
The Grey Knight terminators raise their weapons, including the Brother-captain in the center.
"Hey guys, I need you to listen up for a minute here." You start.
The Knights point their weapons at you, they don't look like they want to talk…
"I'm on a divine mission from the Emperor himself!" You shout, hoping they will listen to you.
They don't.
You dive out of the way as they open up with their bolters. Well, so much for that plan.
"Hold fast, brothers." Eight steps out from cover, raising his hands. Surprisingly, the Knights stop firing, though they don't take their weapons off of him.
"You know me, we've been on this ship together the whole time."
"What of it? Now you consort with foul xenos and their ilk!" The Brother-captain shouts, gesturing at you and the others.
"And he is here, look!" Eight points to you.
"He isn't on the planet any longer. Will you simply stand by as Darkhammer wrongly silences another planet?"
The Grey Knights fidget at this, looking between one another.
"I'm not here to fight, I just want to put a stop to all of this." You add, raising your hands palm out to show that you are unarmed.
"Your orders, Darkhammer?" The Captain asks.
"Inquisitor?" He turns around.
Darkhammer is gone.
"Shit, he's going to do it!" You shout, breaking into a sprint. The Knights let you pass through them, but stand firm and block the others from joining you.
"Darkhammer wouldn't have trouble dispatching one lowly heretic. We will let him decide his fate, but you may not join him."
The Tau commander nods.
"We aren't here to fight, we shall let them figure this out."
You run into the dark lit room, noticing the Inquisitor standing over a control console.
"Stop right there criminal scum!" You shout at him.
With a cackling laugh, Darkhammer turns to face you.
"The little heretic comes to try to stop me, how quaint."
"I'm not going to let you do this." You clench your fist menacingly.
"Hmph, as though you could stop me." He draws out his hammer, which has an inscription on the side that reads "Property of Dark "The sledge" hammer."
"I can and I will. I have friends down there that don't even know this is happening, and by the Emprah himself I won't let them die."
Darkhammer grins malevolently.
"Well then, let us see who it is that the Emperor truly blesses."
"Indeed."
You hold up your hand, revealing your secret weapon.
"Those aren't…"
"Oh, but they are."
You crunch down on the leaves, grinning.
You can feel the bear overtaking you, it is a good RAAAARRGHGGHGH!
Darkhammer glares at you, reaching into one of his own pockets.
"Then we shall let the leaves decide our fate."
You roar at the Inquisitor bear, who roars back at you.
You know this isn't your territory, but you are a fierce and hungry mountain bear and you take what you want.
Rearing up on your hind legs, you bellow a strong and loud roar, you will be the victor among bears this day.
Wasting no time, the Inquisitor bear charges at you, gnashing his yellow teeth and raising a paw ending in nasty black claws.
He gets the first strike in, but you were ready for it and shrug off the blow.
With a grunt you throw him back and strike out with your own claws, knocking him in the head.
"…What exactly am I watching here?" Ailia comments as she stands at the railing.
"I'll admit, I don't know." The Brother-captain shrugs.
They watch as you and Darkhammer circle each other, both of you drooling madly and taking turns slapping the other.
"Is this even a fight? Who's winning?" Eight scratches the back of his head.
You see an opening and pounce, knocking the other bear to the ground.
He lashes out again with his paws, but you shove them aside as you bear down on him. He is defenseless to stop you as you repeatedly strike him in the head.
Suddenly, both of you stop completely, raising your noses to the air.
Sniffing around, you confirm the scent.
Both of you go bounding off into the forest, heading toward the river.
After all, the river is full of delicious salmon.
Suddenly, your arch enemy.
Ron Burgundy.
Both you and the Inquisitor roar at the newcomer, who is busying himself eating the salmon you came here for.
The ensuing fight continues for seven long years of battle and hardship. You and the Inquisitor bear the brunt of the harsh winters as you continue your fight against Burgundy, who seems nigh unstoppable.
After landing a bear punch that ends the known universe, you finally come to, groggily.
It feels like you've been slamming your head into ceremite, and what is this in your mouth? Swedish fish?
"Ugh…" Groans Darkhammer as he sits up, rubbing his temples.
"Fucking bear leaves man." You groan along with him as you help him to his feet.
"Coffee... I... I need some coffee." He mumbles.
"Are… are you guys all right now? That was pretty intense…" Ailia asks as she looks you over for injuries.
"Uhh… What exactly did we do?"
"Well…" Ailia looks to the others for help.
"Basically you guys slapped each other's shit for five minutes before lumbering off into this other room where you attacked a table for about twenty minutes. I think the table actually won." Eight finishes for her.
"Works for me, care to call it a truce?" You ask Darkhammer, who is busy searching for a mug.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm not sticking around orbiting this planet, I've got to go dick over Valeria. This was kind of just a vacation."
"Huzzah. Victory." You mumble as Ailia helps you down onto a couch.
You drag her down along with you and rest your head on her massive love pillows.
Your snoring echos through the halls of the great vessel.
Thread 15
You wake up from what feels like a long hibernation, and try to stretch out but find it difficult.
Opening your eyes, you notice you are rather entangled as it were.
Ailia's eyes have a mischievous glint as she stares down at you, a slight smirk across her tantalizing lips.
"It would appear that I've caught you off-guard Commissar."
You adjust yourself a bit, but Ailia remains in her position, straddling you.
"So you have, but unfortunately for you, I'm better at close combat."
Ailia grins.
"Indeed, which is why I grabbed these."
snap*
You didn't notice her left hand, which has now clasped a pair of cuffs over your own.
"Now be a good boy and give me your other hand…"
You don't object as she snares your other hand, and you find yourself bound underneath an alarmingly cute xeno.
Ailia beams down at you triumphantly.
"I didn't peg you as being into this sort of thing." You taunt her playfully.
She flicks a strand of hair out of her face. You notice it looks like it's shorter now, her brother must have cut it when she was asleep.
"Well I did say I'd show you some Tau customs, didn't I?"
You don't protest as she slides your shirt up and undoes your belt.
"After all," Ailia hums.
"You did help me find my brother."
"Well, it's not like I did a whole lot…" You shrug.
You jump slightly as Ailia's warm hand grabs hold of your krak missile.
Ailia's face contorts slightly as she guides it in, a mixture of pleasure, pain, and confusion.
"You alright?" You ask genuinely.
"I uh… Well us members of the fire caste… I've never done this." She finally admits.
It doesn't seem to stop her as the two of you move into base to base combat.
As cool as the cuffs are, you find yourself yearning to grab hold of the slightly panicked Tau girl. Lured perhaps by her thick hips.
After several minutes of simply sitting there adjusting, Ailia finally starts to move.
Its nearly too much for you to handle.
You thought she was trying to act dominant, what with the handcuffs and all. However you soon find out she is anything but.
She grabs you as she grinds herself around, eventually hugging you tightly around the middle. Seems like she's started to enjoy herself at least.
The assault continues for over an hour, during which she finally releases your hands and you take over.
At the end of it, both of you lay on the cold floor of the ship, breathing hard.
"Hey… Humans and Tau can't…"
"I don't think so, but as much as you shot out…" Ailia giggles.
The two of you decide to get dressed before a Grey Knight finds you, pops a rage boner, and kills the both of you.
Eight sits alone on the bridge of the massive Imperial ship. A rarity.
Usually this kind of place is buzzing with activity, alive with noise and light and life.
He bobs his head slightly to the tune in his headphones. What does a Vindicare listen to? Maybe you can find the answer someday.
The cigarette in his mouth has died out, but he doesn't seem to notice. Or perhaps he just doesn't care.
He looks down at Yagis V, it's bright blue oceans alluring even from the void of space.
"Can I get you anything kid?"
You sit down next to Eight. He looks tired, as though he's just gone three rounds with an Ork in a high-stakes boxing match.
Eight shakes his head, before looking back out over the planet.
"Don't say much, do you?"
Eight shrugs.
"Depends. Quite a bit of information to process, the Emperor talking to me and all."
"Yeah, I know that feeling bro."
You notice a picture resting in front of the young Vindicare, and pick it up.
A young couple are smiling up, holding a small baby, forever immortalized in the black and white.
"Is that you?" You ask, setting the photo back down.
"Yeah."
You doesn't press the conversation.
Eight is more or less off in his own world…
Guardsman: "Help!"
I turn.
The guardsman reaches out for me, his face bloody and soiled from the battle.
Too late.
A bolt of plasma fire pierces through his chest, burning a ragged hole.
He looks down, perplexed by this new situation, as though perhaps it was all some kind of bizarre dream. He collapses. I didn't really know him, I don't get to know any of them. They never seem to last long here.
The rifle is heavy, but familiar now.
Hold your breath.
Squeeze…
Bang.
I'm rewarded with the sight of vibrant purple Tau brains splattering a nearby tree, soaking the foliage around it in the xeno's blood.
Sergeant: "Eight, where are you?"
I activate my own vox.
Eight: "On route."
I keep running, regaining the pace I'd had before being stopped by the guardsman.
I'm not new to a fight. I can't remember ever not fighting really.
Still, this isn't an easy one by any means.
Two more fire warriors in my way, they turn to face me, but too slowly.
My rifle cracks, the shots so fast the sound is deceptive, melding into a single long snap of the supersonic rounds.
They never knew what hit 'em.
"Hey, uh… You alright man?"
You give Eight a light shake.
His brow furrows and his morose blue eyes refocus.
"Yeah."
You don't know what's going through his head, but you can't shake the feeling its nothing good.
"Well… If you say so…"
Figuring you'll give the kid some space, you push yourself up and start toward the exit. Might as well go see what's going on with Kais.
"Hey Max."
You turn and look back at Eight, who is staring out the window again.
"Yeah kid?"
"Don't die."
"Err… I'll try my best…?"
You continue to wander around the ship, more or less aimlessly. Though you wouldn't mind finding a shower.
Darkhammer emerges from a nearby hallway and the two of you stop at the sight of each other.
"Hey, we cool?" You ask after several moments of silence.
Darkhammer looks as though he's mulling your question over.
"Yes, I believe we are." He finally nods, before offering you a canned drink out of the six-pack in his hand. You graciously accept.
Darkhammer takes a seat at a nearby table and gestures for you to as well.
You crack open the drink and take a sip. You don't know what it is, but it tastes like it has twenty three flavors. Its good.
Heavy footfalls behind you cause you to turn around, and Kais waves with his massive right hand as he walks over.
Darkhammer looks at him for several moments, perhaps still quite unsure about having a xeno, a commander no less, on his ship.
Kais seems like he gets the hint, but claps you on the shoulder and smiles anyways.
"I've got to thank you again for reuniting me with my sister. I'd been worried she had gotten herself into more than she could handle, but I see she's had a good friend helping her along."
You grin sheepishly.
"I didn't really do much…"
Kais shakes his head, a bit more serious.
"She wouldn't have made it out of that spring alive without you. Ailia is a great warrior, but her fear of Tyranids may well have frozen her to the spot had you not been there."
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Darkhammer's eyes go wide, and his jaw drops almost comically.
"Hey dudes… Oh! Man, can I snag one of those?" A familiar voice echoes through the ship.
You can't help but smile as you turn around in your chair.
"Sup Emps."
The Emperor grins as he walks forward, well his projection spirit self anyways.
Darkhammer can't seem to form words, fixated on the sight. You can't blame him, your first meeting was just as shocking. Especially being dead and all.
The Emperor reaches down and tries to grab a can, but his hand slips right through it. He frowns and looks down at the can longingly.
"Can't you just like, summon one or something?" You inquire.
"Oh… I didn't even think about that, thanks man." A can pops into the Emperor's hand, and he brightens up as he takes a drink.
"E-e-Emprah?" Darkhammer finally spits, before leaping up and then kneeling to the ground.
The Emperor waves his hand, already mid-sip.
"C'mon dude, no need to be all awkward and whatnot. Let's just chill."
Darkhammer looks completely perplexed.
"I… Er…"
But he stands back up and sits back down, his eyes fixated on his god, as though he might disappear at any moment.
"There you go dude, no crazy shit here. Just a couple bros sharing a drink."
Kais looks slightly confused as his gaze moves between you, Darkhammer, and the Emperor.
"So is this your Emperor? I had thought he was in a near death state." He comments, though not rudely.
"Oh, my bad dude, forgot to introduce myself." The Emperor does his best to shake Kais's hand.
"I'm the Emperor. Well, not in the flesh but you get it man."
"On behalf of the Tau, it's nice to meet you."
"Same man, same. Dude, do you lift? That arm is shredded."
"Err… Yes, it gets quite a workout…"
Kais and the Emperor both take a seat, and the conversation picks up as Darkhammer finally overcomes his shock.
"…and that's my plan." The Emperor finally concludes, having told them what he told you in the warp.
Darkhammer nods, though you can tell it's a massive shock to him.
"It is an excellent plan. War is in no one's interest." Kais comments, looking hopeful.
"Anyways, Darkhammer, I have use of you as well." The Emperor suddenly seems much less carefree.
"I am at your service, always." Darkhammer bows his head. "We are going to be in for one hell of a fight here soon, and we are going to need all the help we can get." The Emperor sits back in his chair, his eyes hard, completely different from how you've seen him before.
"We are going to need as many allies as we can get. I want you to start contacting everyone you can, Astartes, other members of the Inquisition, Eldar…"
Darkhammer nods as he takes notes, but then looks up.
"Eldar, lord?"
"Everyone you can. This matter concerns all."
"It might be difficult, Emperor. Few will believe me or my information about your cause…"
The Emperor smiles, his eyes twinkling.
"That won't be a problem, I've got a plan. Well, Tzeentch helped me with it." He admits.
"The chaos god?!" Darkhammer blurts out, unable to stop himself.
"Yeah, she and I kinda have a thing going… The chaos gods are ready to go forward with this master scheme as well, all except for one that is…"
The Emperor sets down his drink.
"This is all going to end, one way or another. The only question is, will it be in our favor…" He looks out the window at Yagis V.
"…Or Malal's…"
A servant jumps, startled as she washes the golden throne at the feet of the Emperor.
Did something just move?
Impossible, she finally tells herself.
You stand at the entrance to the drop pod, nervous.
This isn't something you've done before, and after the safety briefing by the Grey Knights, you aren't sure it's something you want to do at all.
The brother captain claps you on the back, well the back of your new armor anyways.
"Are you ready for this, brother Max?" He asks, putting his hand on your left pauldron as he gives the armor one last check-over.
"No. I am not. At all." You admit.
The giant Astartes chuckles as he seems satisfied with the armor.
"It really isn't bad, you might even enjoy the ride."
You sincerely doubt that.
The Emperor seems distant, as though concentrating on something else, as he approaches you.
"Backup won't be here for you instantly, and we are going to need a bit to prep our forces, so don't do anything stupid while you're down there." The Emperor nods as he looks you over.
"A fine suit of armor, it fits you well."
As you give your new suit another glance, you are forced to admit that it does. The Grey Knights, emboldened and seemingly made anew by the reemergence of their Emperor, had given it to you. It took them quite a while to get it to fit to your much smaller frame, but somehow they did it.
They protested a bit when you told them to leave your left forearm out of it though, but the Knights didn't listen. After thinking it over, and checking out the storm bolter they had attached, you were kinda ok with it. The tech marine who did the work then showed you how he had modified the left forearm, allowing you to still use the weapons housed in your arm.
The brother captain takes something from another Knight, and hands it to you, his gaze serious.
You can't help but gape a bit as he places the haft of the nemesis axe in your hand.
"This weapon seems to be attuned to you, your mind, it has chosen you to wield it now. But whatever you do, don't let the Blood Ravens get a close look at this." He warns you.
"It's an ancient relic of the Grey Knights, if they find that out, you will wake up and it will be gone."
You nod, and swallow as you look the weapon over.
The power emanating from it is something even you can sense.
Ailia moves in and gives you a kiss on the cheek, maybe a bit shy with her brother in the room and all.
"You take care, I do want to see you again." She smiles, and you return the grin.
Kais, now back in his own suit, shakes your hand.
"Ailia and I are going to rally the Tau to this cause, it may be difficult but I believe they will see that it is for the greater good. I expect to see you again, intact."
"Same to you."
A tech marine looks up from his work.
"Brothers, it is time."
You swallow hard as they usher you into your own drop pod.
"Hey uh, Emperor, can't you just teleport me again?" You ask him.
"Not this time, busy with something…" He seems quite distant, and you notice his projection doesn't look as defined.
"Don't worry, you will be fine." The brother captain says, before closing the hatch.
You don't feel like you are going to be fine.
Well, too late to turn back now, where should you have this thing land…?
You get the feeling that you should land on the beach, you don't really know why, just that feel.
Hand trembling, you punch it into the pod's controls.
A terrible clang echoes through the small vessel. You pray that isn't a bad noise.
A prayer cut short, as the craft lurches forward at incredible speed.
"I don't like this…" You comment as the pod starts picking up even more speed.
You feel your stomach lurch at the feeling of the sudden drop. "oh shit oh shit oh shit…."
The pod finally enters the atmosphere, and you are shown a new definition of fast.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU….!"
You are plummeting downward, all you can do is hold on and keep yelling. It feels like you are going to drop forever.
Finally the craft starts to slow, and before you can even breathe a sigh in relief, it slams hard into the sand.
The impact might have hurt if you hadn't been in the new armor, which you are now even more thankful to have.
Hatches blow open with a hiss, and you squint your eyes at the bright light as you step out of the pod, incredibly happy to have survived.
You don't see anyone around though, which is a bit depressing. You finally let out that sigh, it's going to be a long trek to get anywhere.
"Nice armor, you look like a dork, mon-keigh." Chimes a familiar voice from behind you.
You put on a tough face and turn around.
"My power is maximum."
Esh doesn't look impressed.
"Sure it is."
"Allow me to demonstrate…" You smirk.
"…fus…" You whisper quietly, with just a trickle of energy. The wind whips up the skirt Esh is wearing, but she holds it down with one hand so you don't get a peek.
"Amateurish." She chides.
"It was worth a shot." You admit.
Esh laughs, crossing her arms and looking you over.
"Even in your new armor, your mind powers are no match for mine."
"Hah. Says the one who just sat there while I did all the work defeating Doomrider."
Esh's smirk fades, and she looks serious.
"Zun Haal Viik!"
The axe is blown out of your hands, soaring backwards where it sinks into the sand some ten yards away.
"Had enough yet?" She asks, not having moved.
"As if, your Eldar tricks are no match for me."
"Fair enough… Strun Bah Qo!"
A bolt of arcane lightning strikes a foot away from you, and you can feel all of your hair standing on end from the crackling energy.
"On second thought, I could maybe use some training…"
Esh looks up at the sky.
"I cannot teach him, the boy has no patience." She says to no one.
"…Are you talking to someone?" You finally ask.
"Ugh… Watch some of your own race's films you mongoloid."
"Whatever. Are you going to train me or not?"
Esh smirks again. You can tell she's enjoying screwing with you.
"Maybe… What's in it for me?"
"I-I'll give you a k-k-kiss, stupid space elf wych, it's not like I want to do it, or anything!"
"Are you kidding me?" Esh groans.
"I'll pay you up front, get over here!" You run at her, engaging your smootchface.
"Eww! No! Get away from me!" She starts to run.
Unfortunately for her, you've already built up momentum and she can't escape. You grab the now-struggling Eldar around the middle and lift her up, her legs kicking at your armor to no effect. Your lips are drawing ever closer to her.
"All right! All right, I'll train you! Now put me down!"
You don't let her go, this is too much fun now.
"But what about your payment?" She's holding your face away with one hand, but you are starting to overpower her.
"Wha? W-why would I want a kiss from some i-idiot mon-keigh?!"
"Your resistance only makes my penis harder."
"Gross! Put me down!"
Finally you relent, though you can't erase your massive grin.
Esh pouts up at you. At least she wants you to think that, you can read her poker face.
"You better prepare yourself, I'm not going to go easy on you. St-stupid mon-keigh."
"Sure, as if you can train me that hard."
Esh glares.
"Oh, you don't even know."
She reaches down to her pack that fell when you grabbed her, and pulls out a small box. She presses a button, and some song you've never heard before starts blaring from it.
Dun!
Dun dun dun!
Dun dun dun!
Dun dun duuunnnnnn!
"Prepare yourself, mon-keigh, I'm going to work you to the bone."
She's right, the training is incredibly intense.
Esh continues blasting at you with psychic energies as you punch away at a tree furiously, ducking and dodging the incoming attacks.
~Rising up, back on the street~
You run hard, Esh in close pursuit as lightning bolts descend from the sky all around you. You have to sense them coming, and jump out of the way before they fry you.
~So many times it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory…~
Esh is dodging now, as you lash out with your own mind powers. She seems to be having an easy time of it, until one catches her in the middle and she's pushed back, she smiles.
~Hangin tough, stayin hungry~
Both of you are in a running battle now, shouting out your words of power as you run down the beach, trying to trip the other one up. It seems like the playing field is becoming more level.
~Rising up to the challenge of our rival~
"You're improving, mon-keigh." She says, her arms folded. You don't give her a chance to stay on her feet, as you press your attack.
"Zul Mey Gut!"
Esh whirls around, looking for the source of the power. She fell for your trick.
~And he's watching us all with the eeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeee… of the tiger~
"Wuld Na Kest!" You shoot forward at her and before she can react, you grab her around the waist and snatch her up. Esh is smiling now, genuinely.
"You learn pretty fast." She says, breathless.
You are panting hard from the sparing match, but you grin back at her.
"Not so bad for a mon-keigh, eh?"
"Heh, don't get ahead of yourself."
Esh's smile fades when she notices you are still holding her, your faces not far apart.
You are very aware of the Eldar girl breathing hard in your arms, and now staring you right in the eyes.
Fuck caution. You tell yourself. You are going for it. You lean in, and Esh doesn't retreat.
Your lips meet again, finally, and it is glorious. Esh seems pretty into it, her eyes closed as she puts a hand on your neck.
Both of you are enthralled, perhaps all the built up tension being released.
You have a feeling Esh was waiting for this.
Maybe more than a feeling, a sense?
You don't pay much attention to that thought either way, too captured by the farseer pressed against you.
She tastes good, something you hadn't expected. You hold her tighter as the two of you continue.
"Ah... Max I..."
You don't let her finish, pressing your lips back against hers.
Only now you can feel something else from her mind, yours entwined with her own.
Panic.
Something wicked this way comes.
"Max..." She says again, this time the urgency in her voice carrying through.
"I feel it too, what is that?"
Esh's face turns white, and she whips around to stare off at some nearby grassy hills. Her hands continue to hold you tightly, no longer out of passion, but out of fear.
"Run..." She whispers.
"...We have to run! Now!"
She points, and you follow her gaze.
The grass on the hill is dying, curling up and fading to a dirty brown.
"What is it?" You set her down and pick up your axe.
"I don't know, I couldn't feel it until just now..." Her voice trails off, as though the words are caught in her throat.
"It's him." She finally whimpers.
"Malice."
You can sense something yourself now, dark and terrible. Headed right at you.
You grab Esh's hand tightly in your own. If she says you should run, you should probably run.
"C'mon lets get out of here!"
You give her a tug and the two of you break into a sprint. Esh's short frame isn't quite fast enough to keep up with you it seems.
You snatch her up in your arm, her own wrapping around your neck as you push yourself as hard as you can.
Looking back, you feel your blood run cold at the sight.
Though the figure on the bike is in the distance, you can tell who it is.
Abbadon revels in his new arms as he watches you flee, knowing you won't be able to outrun his bike. He is going to enjoy ripping you apart with his new arms, slowly, and perhaps after violating that Eldar in front of you.
I watch them as they kiss. This guy doesn't seem to mind being with xenos.
I feigned shock, disgust.
The truth is, I'm glad the Emperor is pursuing peace. As good as I am, and though I would never admit it to anyone, I don't like killing most xenos.
Am I feeling jealous? The thought of a girl of my own is... Hmm... Am I xeno curious?
My interest is perked when they start to run. It almost looks like they are panicked. That's odd, they both seemed to want to kiss.
Shifting my rifle, I search intently with the scope to where the Eldar points.
Oh, that might be why.
I've seen pictures of the warmaster before, but I never expected to see him alive. Or with arms.
His warbike looks fast.
Not that it matters, I'm not going to let him get to Max... Or the Eldar.
Hmph, all too easy.
The exitus rifle cracks its familiar sound, and I smirk.
Poor bastard, bike looked almost brand new.
The shot catches it in the engine, hope he likes incendiary rounds.
Cue fireball.
I keep watching as Abbadon rolls to a stop, pushing himself off the ground and howling furiously as he slaps the fire off of himself.
A bolt round slams into a rock two feet to my left. I notice the bolter in Abbadon's hand clattering away at me.
Time to go... Good luck, Max. I toss him a small salute before leaving my perch.
"Thank you based Eight!" You yell as you watch Abbadon's bike explode over your shoulder.
Esh relaxes a bit as you keep running, you've got enough of a headstart that there is no way he can catch you now.
"What the hell was that just now?" Esh asks up at you as you push yourself as hard as you can, which in this new armor means you are practically flying.
"Friend of mine." You grin.
"Nice of him to show up." Esh, though trembling, smiles back at you.
"Yeah, good thing we didn't kill each other when we first met." You keep running, though feeling less and less urgent as the sense of impending doom fades.
Esh laughs, out of relief, and so do you.
"Why is it we never get any breaks?" She muses after several minutes of silence.
"I dunno." You admit.
"Kind of sucks though, doesn't it?"
"Yeah…" She sinks into you and you slow down, far from any danger now.
You set her down, and she brushes the sand you kicked up off of herself.
"So much for training on the beach…" She mutters as she dumps sand out of her boot.
"Yeah, but it was fun while it lasted."
"It was, wasn't it?" She grins back at you.
You can't help but smile back. Even if you didn't want to, one look like that from this red haired farseer would be enough to make you. You take her beauty for granted, it really is stunning.
"You look hungry." Esh muses.
"I am."
"Well how about I cook you something?"
"That… Doesn't sound bad, actually."
The two of you continue along a winding path through waist-high reeds, both of you staying alert despite your senses telling you that its safe. Well, relatively considering this is Yagis V.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Well, I feel like some fish tacos maybe?" Max used Joke!
"Alright, let's go fishing!"
…It's not very effective.
The two of you walk out to the ocean, though you are now far away from where you left Abbadon. Hopefully he doesn't show up and cockblock you again, seems like he enjoys doing that.
You slowly take Esh's hand in your own, she doesn't protest but you can see her cheeks get slightly pink. How weird, she was just playing tongue hockey with you earlier.
Blue ocean sparkles and shines in front of you, contrasting starkly with the fine white sand under your boots. It's a great view.
Esh's skirt hits you in the face.
"Keep your armor on if you want, but I'm not going to."
Esh is now stripped down to her white bikini undersuit, hands on her hips as she smirks at you. This view is better.
"Well… I don't know…" You protest, unsure.
"Take it off you wuss!" She grins, pulling on your gauntlet.
"All right, all right, calm down."
Esh seems excited, already grabbing at you. You aren't going to protest, it's nice seeing her like this for once.
The first thing you do is set the axe aside, sinking it blade-first down into the sand next to Esh's spear.
You start fiddling with the armor, trying to disengage different pieces.
"Can I give you a hand?" Esh asks.
"Go for it."
The Farseer smiles and hums quietly to herself as she starts disengaging your armor. The pieces start coming off quickly, and she sets them aside as she works.
"Hey, you're pretty good at this." You think out loud.
"Well yeah, it's not the first time I've done it." She replies.
"Huh?"
She punches you in the shoulder, though lightly.
"Get your head out of the gutter, idiot mon-keigh. I've helped disarm some prisoners before is all."
"Oh. Right. My bad."
"Ohohoho? Were you jealous there for a minute?" She teases you.
"N-not really!"
Finally she gets the last section off, dropping it near her stuff.
"Hah, as if I would grace a mon-keigh other than you with my presence. Consider yourself lucky I do it for you."
You frown and reach out suddenly, grabbing her and pulling her closer to you.
"Max what are you… Wait! No! Ahhhahahahaha! Stop!"
You tickle her even as you trap her hands behind her back with one of your own. She squirms and struggles, but you are physically stronger and don't let go. She can't escape.
"Please! No more!" Esh's face is contorted in laughter.
You pause for a moment.
"No brakes."
Before beginning your assault anew, even more intense. Esh's face is in tears now, she's laughing so hard she can barely breath. As much as she struggles, you can sense she's having fun.
Suddenly you are thrown backwards by psychic energies, landing head-first into the sand.
Esh rushes over to you and pulls you up.
"Err… Sorry, kinda just slipped out." She laughs between heavy breaths.
"Anyways…" She says, coughing into her fist.
"Let's catch something before it gets too dark to find firewood."
You let her lead you back to where she's laid out two fishing rods, where she got them, you still don't know or understand.
"You know I'm going to tickle the fuck out of you later, right?" You say as both of you pick up a rod.
She thwaps you with hers, lightly.
"You can try." Esh smirks.
You smirk back. Bitch is going to piss herself laughing, she doesn't even know.
"You had better not, I won't forgive you if you make me wreck this suit." She replies to your thoughts.
"Bah, you'll see. Now stand back, I'mma let you finish but I'm the greatest fisherman of all time. OF ALL TIME!"
You stare hard out over the crashing waves in front of you. You know this sight well.
"Heaven or hell, fishfag, lets rock!"
With a mighty cast you propel your worm out into the choppy waters, as far as you can get it. The bait lands with a plunk and sinks quickly into the depths.
"Well, you sure seem confident this time." Esh laughs, before casting out her own line, only a fraction as far as you winged yours.
"I'm not confident, I'm assured. I will win round two." You hold your pole stoutly, waiting for what is to come. Only you keep waiting.
And waiting…
"I'm actually quite surprised you have the patience for this." You tell Esh as you lean back against a rock, still without so much as a nibble.
"Don't be. If I wanted to make it easy for myself I could just use my mind to help out." She leans over on your shoulder as she says it.
Her warm skin feels nice against your own, and her hair blowing lightly in the wind skips gently on your chest.
"Hey Max, what do you think of the Eldar?" She finally asks, luring you out of your happy daze.
"You guys seem pretty cool, maybe a bit aloof, but cool." You don't lie, she would pick up on that.
"Hmm… Yeah we probably are, aren't we…"
"Yeah yo…" But you don't have time to finish the sentence.
With the force of a thousand suns, you are ripped off the beach. Your arms are nearly dislocated at the shoulders, your mechanical arm whines from the sudden stress.
Something is dragging you!
You try to let go, and find yourself snagged in the mechanism of your reel.
You aren't even left with enough time to take a good breath as you are plunged into the icy sea, your chest hits something and forces the last of the air from your lungs.
Ra'alman's terrible maw grins up at you.
"Welcome, mortal. Welcome again to my lair."
Your lungs are burning, your mind panicking from the sudden lack of oxygen.
This is bad.
This is real bad.
Ra'alman rushes you suddenly, his fiery red eyes all you can track, darkness forming at the corners of your vision.
You manage to dodge, but just barely.
He is going to come around for another attack, and you are dragged along with him, still stuck to the rod.
You can't even attempt to swim to the surface.
Gathering up every ounce of energy you posses, you turn to Ra'alman, who is coming around for a second attack.
"FUS ROH DAHHHH!" You shout, harder than you ever have.
The force of the attack throws you backwards, breaking you free from the reel in the process. You are sailing upwards, Ra'alman having barely been pushed away.
You breach the surface, drawing a long breath, a relief. Something reaches down and grabs you by the arm. You grunt as it pulls you into a small wooden ship.
The boat is rocking and swaying hard in the mad waves, the sky overhead an almost pitch black storm.
An old man is the only other one in the small vessel. His dark tanned completion looking you over, he doesn't appear to be in his right mind, muttering to himself as he bites the head off of a lizard and swallows it.
"Row row row your boat, gently down the streeaaammmm!" The old man cackles through his long scraggly beard, his eyes alight with a crazy fire.
He continues to sing as he thrusts a nasty looking harpoon into your hands. Despite spitting up water and breathing heavily, you act on instinct and take the weapon.
"Hey man, get us the fuck out of here!" You yell at him, hoping to somehow break through all that crazy.
"Merrily merrily LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!"
Doesn't appear to have worked…
"All my life the early sun has hurt my eyes!" The old man yells as the ship rides out a particularly nasty wave, that splashes both of you with water.
"Eighty four days now without taking a fish!"
The storm crackles with lightning overhead, and the old man laughs along with it, babbling something incoherent as he swerves the ship left and right with the rudder.
Ra'alman leaps from the water, rearing his ugly head as he screams, filling the air with that inhuman wail.
You grab the harpoon tightly, you are only going to get one shot at this.
You send the harpoon out with as much force as you can muster, only its the first time you've thrown one, so it doesn't exactly fly straight.
The weapon bounces harmlessly off of Ra'alman's armored plates, before dropping into the sea and sinking fast out of sight.
"Crack your oars man, and spare me the eggs!" The old man shouts, as he pushes you from behind, sending you face-first back into the cold waters below.
Ra'alman snatches you up before you can react, grabbing you nimbly by the shirt with one bladed tooth.
It drags you down again, back to where it has the clear advantage.
"Now then, my sweet, fertilize my eggs, that I may birth the end of days!" It coos.
Before swallowing you whole.
You descend quickly into the bowels of the beast, different valves opening and sending you off on different directions.
The stench is unbelievable, but something about it makes your head feel light.
It also makes you rock hard.
Finally you drop down into a large expanse. Blue bio-luminescence illuminates the place, and you look out over a field of pallid green eggs.
"Come my sweet, fertilize my eggs!" Ra'alman shouts inside your mind.
Tentacles leap out from all around you, flailing purple tentacles with suction cups.
They latch onto you, pulling at your clothes.
You struggle, but to no avail.
Its useless, you give up.
A slimy tentacle worms itself into your trousers, grabbing hold of your inquisitor, who as reviled as he is is also unable to do anything about it.
"I'll make you feel good, you can mate here with me forever~" Ra'alman coos.
The tentacle starts moving back and forth, leaving a trail of slime up and down your shaft.
Despite yourself, you can feel the orgasm coming.
"Yess... Yes, release the kraken!" Ra'alman picks up the pace with the tentacles.
...!
You release everything you've got, emptying your entire magazine. White fish-baby batter shoots out in a stream, arcing and spraying all over the pile of eggs, which start to glow from the inside when met by your seed.
Only even after your orgasm, the tentacles don't let up.
If anything, they only become more emboldened.
"Wait! No more! I can't possibly have any more!" You shout, knowing its useless.
"Silly silly boy, of coarse you have more. Here, let me help you."
A tentacle thrusts itself into your mouth and starts spraying something. It tastes awful, but you immediately feel your balls replenish themselves.
The tentacles work your head furiously with suction cups, and you can't stop yourself.
"Ah, I'm cumminnggg!" You shout, though its muffled by the tentacle lodged in your mouth.
Another burst of white-hot plasma sprays over the eggs, more begin to glow.
"Give in to the pleasure..." Ra'alman coos.
"Remember, you're here forever." The fish-god laughs.
"Aim directly for his crooked brow!" The old man laughs madly from behind you, thrashing the rudder back and forth.
"And look him straight in the eyyeeeeeeee!"
You pull back your arm, Ra'alman rearing up out of the water again as he prepares to come crashing down on the small boat.
With all of your might, you throw it.
The harpoon arcs out, sailing true as Ra'alman descends to meet it.
You watch as the amalgamation of rusted iron and faded wood sinks itself deep into the fish god's nasty head. Deeper and deeper it's barbed point burrows.
Ra'alman shrieks at the sudden attack, thrashing about madly as blood sprays from the wound, much of it landing on the boat, and you.
"It was nineteen eighty five and I didn't have my boombox yet!" The old man is swaying back and forth, stomping his peg legged foot as he yells.
The fish god roars again, this time though it sounds weaker. Could it be? Have you pulled it off?
Slowly, the massive beast of Yagis V lore sinks down into the waves. You hear a gurgle as it's jaws suck in water, blood pooling in a dark swath around the surface.
Hundreds of fish suddenly rise to the surface, thrashing about.
"Don't you want to know the meaning of life, boy!?" The old man yells as he snatches a tattered and ragged net from the deck and throws it out, trapping hundreds of fish within it.
You sink down onto the wooden ship, breathing heavily. You can't believe you survived that.
"What's the meaning of life, old man?" You ask, humoring him as you let your heart settle.
The old man crouches down in front of you, his eyes wide, his mouth a crooked toothed grin of yellow.
"Bestiality." He laughs, clapping you on the shoulder like you failed to realize something completely obvious.
Safe again in the depths, Ra'alman uses a coral outcropping to dislodge the spear. It surges with anger. "I will have your seamen one day, like it or not." The beast rests, weary from the fight, but already plotting your next encounter.*
"Cool man, have fun with that I guess. Can you uh, drop me off at shore or something?"
"Sixty of 'em, sixty genestealers you should have seen it! The queen was so proud!"
None of that makes any sense to you, but nonetheless the old man turns the ship toward land.
With Ra'alman beneath the waves and possibly dead, the storm runs its course, the weather quickly returning to normal.
The old man thrusts a bundle of fish into your hands, which you thank him for, despite not knowing if he even knows what's going on.
"Horse sex." The old man nods as you thank him again. You are exhausted when you finally haul yourself out of the boat, wading the last twenty or so feet to shore.
Esh grabs hold of you as soon as you reach land, and you collapse into her.
She sits down, resting your head on her lap.
"Are you hurt?" She asks, checking you over for wounds but unable to see anything through the thick layer of monster blood.
"Honestly, I'm not sure."
"Let's get you cleaned off, come on."
She gets you up and starts leading you to the edge of the ocean, but quickly notices your hesitation.
"Well, we can always find someplace else…" She muses.
"Yeah, hot springs. They are close by." You hope they are also Tyranid-free, though you will be going to a different section to better those odds.
Esh finds a small dune buggy and piles your stuff into the back of it.
"Ready to go?" She asks caringly.
"Yeah, take me down to that paradise city."
"Huh?"
"Nothing, lets boogy."
Esh shrugs and gets the buggy moving, it's large tires effortlessly carrying it over the sands.
"Who was that guy, anyways?" Esh finally asks as the buggy slows to a stop at the tree line.
"No idea, seemed alright though."
Both of you climb out and head for the spring, though you make sure to grab your axe before you go.
"…?" Esh makes a curious noise when she sees it.
"I don't want to run into any 'nids without something to fend them off." You shrug.
Esh helps you through the woods, you can feel the blood drying on your skin and it isn't a good feeling.
Unable to stop yourself, you run and dive in at first sight of the water.
"Ahhh…. So much better…" You groan, feeling your skin being washed clean.
"Hmph, don't wait for me or anything…" Esh pretends to pout, but can't hold it as she dips into the warm water.
"Oh!" She exclaims with a smile.
"This is nice!"
"Isn't it though?" You float on your back, enjoying the heat.
Something pokes you in the side, and you quickly jump up and look toward the intrusion.
Its a small serpent, maybe a foot long.
"Tousan!" The little beast cries up at you.
With it's human head.
"Tousan tousan tou-san!" Thousands of them, all calling out for you.
Esh pokes you in the side, snapping you out of it.
"You alright, Max?" She asks, clearly concerned.
"Fine. Just had a terrible vision, as though a thousand voices suddenly cried out, and were never silenced."
"Oooo-kayyy…."
"Don't question it, it's better that you don't know."
"…Riiight…"
You just let yourself relax in the warm water, soaking off the hard day. You escaped from Abbadon, and a fish god, you feel pretty good about yourself.
"D-don't look this way, I'm going to let my suit dry off, I just washed it." Esh stammers.
You can't help yourself, you look before you even think. Esh smirks.
"Gotcha."
"Implying I'm not going to tickle you to death now."
Esh frowns.
"You wouldn't…"
"Rapehands engage." You do your best servitor voice and hold up your wriggling fingers.
Esh jumps for cover, but you are already upon her, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her into your clutches where she cannot escape.
You tickle her without mercy.
Esh flails around, kicking, laughing, and yelling for you to stop.
You don't acknowledge her cries, in the grim darkness of the 40th millennium, there is only tickle.
You continue until she is out of breath, sucking in air hard between bursts of laughter.
"Stop! You win! You win!"
You start at it again, unrelenting.
"Beg me." You tell her.
"Beg me to stop."
"Oh Max, please stop tickling me! I can't take it any longer!" She cries out, a hint of humor.
You pause.
"And if I stop my assault?" You inquire.
Esh's face goes beet red and she turns away, biting her thumb and mumbling something.
"Sorry, didn't catch that."
"Grrr… I said you can k-k-kiss me! Stu-stupid mon-keigh!"
"Not good enough." You pick up your tickling again, as hard and fiercely as you can, forcing her to laugh and squirm against your hold.
"Ahh! No more! No Mooorreee!"
"I'll stop, but only if I can kiss you."
"Huh? I said that was fine."
"Down there."
Esh follows your finger, and her entire face turns red at the realization.
"My tongue is the tongue that will pierce the hymens!" You shout, pulling Esh out of the water.
With one quick snap, you shark her, and Esh's face is practically glowing red.
"Wha?!"
Grabbing her, you set her on your shoulders, her nice thighs clamping around your head as you do.
"W-wh-what do you think you're d-doing!"
You can only smile as your tongue flicks forward, lightly licking the Eldar in her most precious spot.
"Ahh?!"
Esh jolts, her face one of absolute surprise, eyes wide in shock.
She squeezes you even tighter in her legs.
In retaliation, you tickle her sides, forcing her to loosen her legs as you do.
Again you attack with your tongue, and again she clamps down with her thighs. Only this time, you've moved into close combat and there is no escape for her.
She grabs you by the head as you lick again and again, her thighs trembling against you. She may act angry and surprised, but your minds are beginning to tangle together and you can sense that she wants this, entirely.
Well, you are a gentleman after all. You give the lady what she wants.
"Max no! I-I'm I'm... Ahhh!?"
Esh convulses, squeezing you tightly with her thighs as her upper body collapses down onto you, her hands grabbing your head tightly through your hair.
The Farseer lays there, ontop of you, panting.
You chuckle, time to play mean.
Another faint lick of your tongue has her thrashing and moaning.
"Ahhh... No more! I can't handle any more!"
After a few more licks resulting in several more spasms, you relent and lean back. Esh sits up to look down at your face.
"If I give in, and let you go, then its your turn."
Esh bites her lip, glaring. Your minds have collided now, her face can lie as much as it wants. Her thoughts are telling you how much she enjoyed that, how much she wanted that.
How much and how deeply she loves you.
"F-fine! Stupid idiot double mon-keigh! J-just let me down already!"
Abbadon snarls, remembering his bike being shot out from under him and his prey slipping through his grasp yet again. He tosses aside the corpses of the slain space marines, wolves he had caught unaware and butchered.
"Such a petty sacrifice…" The voice of his master hisses in his head.
"Hardly, they were Astartes."
"Don't quip back at me, boy…" The god hisses, furiously.
"All these gifts I have given you, all these gifts and yet you let them slip away…"
Abaddon stifles, not used to being reprimanded.
"I will taste his blood soon, and then I shall give you the taste of the false Emperor's own as my new crusade plunders the heart of the Imperium."
Malal is silent for several moments.
"No… No, it is clear that I cannot rely entirely on you, as able as you sometimes can be."
Abbadon frowns.
"We will have to find another, one who will strike fear deep into their hearts without so much as lifting his hand…" Malal whispers quietly.
"And who exactly do you have in mind, my master?" Abbadon says, doing little to conceal his sarcastic doubt.
"Don't underestimate my power, whelp… There is another far more terrifying than you, and far more powerful… Though it will be quite difficult to raise him now… We need… Time…"
"Again, who?"
"Your old master… The one who will lead us to a sure victory…"
"Who? Damn, you, who!?" Abbadon barks, though he already feels the dread rising in him, he knows the answer.
"Horus…"
Thread 16
Well, Max appears… Safe… At least.
I picked up his trail again a short while after helping him outrun Abbadon by shooting the bike right out from under the Warmaster.
I wanted to help him with the massive sea monster, but with the randomness of the waves if I'd fired I might have hit him rather than the beast.
At least he and the wych are…
Oh…
I avert the gaze of my scope, giving them some privacy.
Something else has captured my interest anyways.
Blood Ravens? Out here? Interesting.
I watch them from afar, they have no way of knowing I'm up here. I'll keep it that way, for now at least.
They appear to be talking to one another as they walk, though it looks as though they are keeping their voices low, as though trying to remain undetected.
Though I wonder what it is they could be after, there isn't anything out this way that they could possibly want…
Esh gulps as she sinks down into the warm waters of the spring, she doesn't take her eyes off of you.
She looks a bit wobbly after your… Oral assault, which is fine by you. Its rather cute seeing her like this, off her guard. A fairly stark contrast to her usual self.
"What are you staring at, idiot?" She glares, folding her arms underneath her breasts.
"Huh? Nothing…"
The crazy fact is, that despite you having the ball in your court here, something has you thrown off of your own a-game as well. The fact that you can still feel your mind in a way somehow merged with the Eldar blowing bubbles in the hot spring in front of you as she eyes you, annoyed.
"D-do you want me to do anything or not?! I don't have all day you know…" She puffs her cheeks as she frowns.
Without a word you grab her by the waist and pull her through the blue pool toward you, until her chest meets your own. Carefully you lower yourself down, making sure she follows along with you.
Her eyes widen as Esh feels something prod her in the thigh. "Eh? Ehhhhh?!"
You smirk.
"Don't act so surprised, you should have known what was coming."
Esh glares, trying to push herself up, but you don't let her.
"Grrrrr… Fine, take THIS!" She shouts suddenly.
You don't have time to stop her as she violently drops herself down, sending your inquisitor head-first into the webway with one fateful thrust of the power sword.
"OWWWWWWWWWWW!" Esh shouts, her face screwing up in pain as her nails dig into your shoulders.
You wince, it wasn't the most graceful thing ever and she clearly wasn't ready for it.
"Well what did you think would happen?" You ask, making no effort to conceal your sarcasm.
"Sh-shut up! Damn that Macha… She never said it would hurt! Well… She said a lot of things that I'm not sure were true…"
Esh looks like she's relaxed, but you can tell without even trying that she's faking it.
You put your arms around her lower back, and despite her tough façade, Esh sinks into you, her head nestling itself under your chin.
"Better now? This your first time?" You give her side a teasing pinch.
"Shut… Shut up! Of course it is, so you had better not ruin it for me, mon-keigh."
You can't help but smile, the pleasant warm feeling of your mind wrapping around her own is indescribable. Esh must be enjoying it too, because you can feel her body relaxing against your own.
"Hey Esh, do you like me?"
The short Farseer jumps slightly at your questing, sitting up to scowl at you.
"Me? L-l-like you? As-as if that were even possible, dolt." You frown.
"Well… I mean, its not like I hate you…" She continues, refusing to meet your eyes.
"I don't buy it."
Esh's eyes snap back to your own, you are smirking and looking smug.
"In fact, I know you like me. A lot. And I'm not letting you leave until I hear you say it."
Esh sits up, folding her arms again and trying to look surperior and confident.
"Hmph! As though you can make me do something like that." "Oh? Really?"
Even from your sitting position, you manage a decent thrust.
Esh jumps, trying to pull away, but you've got her in your clutches and you intend to keep your word.
"Hah! It's going to t-take a lot more than t-that to make me say something so embarrassing."
"We'll see…" You reach up, intending to snatch away her top, but her hand blocks your attempt.
"Not so fast. Let's see how much you've learned. Try again, with your mind."
With little effort, you harness the power you obtained through smoking with Doomrider, and easily lift the white top away.
"Easy as pie."
"Hmph, so the mon-keigh is actually capable of learning. Astounding..."
You don't let her continue, pulling her back down again. She tenses up, but doesn't object.
"Is it alright for you now?" You ask, genuinely concerned.
"St-still a little rough, but I'm no wimp…"
meanwhile*
"Oh look brothers, what a fine gift left out for us."
The Blood Raven picks up the nemesis axe, eying it greedily.
"Indeed, a fine gift. It shall make a fitting addition to our collection."
They chuckle amongst each other as they sort through the buggy, checking around. One of them frowns as he pulls out Esh's spear.
"Hmmm… Eldar wych equipment in the same transport as these relics? Something is afoot here, brothers."
The leader shrugs, throwing a bag full of newly acquired gifts over his shoulder.
"No matter, we have everything we need. Let us not concern ourselves with such trivial matters."
He activates his communicator.
"We're heading back now. We've obtained some valuable relics."
With that, he turns to lead the rest of them back toward their waiting rhino.
"Interesting bag you got there, mind if I check it out?"
I exhale a puff of smoke as I step into their vision. The astartes stop, their idle chatter cut off. They eye me wearily, tightening their grips on the stolen goods.
"Ah, what troubles you here today, Vindicare?" One asks, turning away in a crude attempt to conceal the bag over his shoulder.
"Well, the stuff you are carrying, for starters."
The Blood Ravens drop their fake bemusement, their gazes growing tough and cold. Six of them, not the most eloquently equipped, the standard fare of bolter rifles and chainswords.
"A tough break for you then, Assassin. We have no intention of handing over these gifts." The space marine fingers the haft of the chainsword at his side.
I smile.
"Really now, I must insist." I lovingly rub the trigger guard of my Exitus rifle with my trigger finger.
It's a standoff, we all know it.
I lower my rifle and nod my head in their direction.
"I see I came ill equipped, I'll take this opportunity to bow out gracefully."
The leader frowns, eyeing me.
I know it's a tough sell, and only an idiot would turn his back to a Vindicare so quickly.
"And let you shoot us in the back? Hardly ideal for us, I should think."
I raise my hand and wave, as though to dismiss his paranoia. "Easy, space marine, easy. I've no intention of fighting with astartes today. Simply attempting to guard the equipment of the VP I've been assigned to guard is all. I'll not risk my own skin for some rusted old armor."
I take a few steps back, hopefully they buy that.
It appears to have worked.
Though they eye me nervously, they make no move to bar my leave.
Stupid.
Awfully stupid.
It takes me but moments to sink back into the thick cover and scale a tree, something I'd always had a knack for, ever since my youthful days.
With my suit and my skills, they won't even know where I'm shooting from.
Even if they were to find out, it wouldn't matter, it would already be over by then.
My crosshairs fall to the sergeant first, he made himself easy enough to pick from the bunch. Foolish, to make yourself so open to a sniper's round and leave your squad leaderless.
I hesitate, wondering whether or not to kill him or disable him. Killing him would be easy enough, but the blood of astartes is very staining to the hands.
No, I'd better just make them get the point.
CRACK!*
The first shot knocks away his bolter, the second his chainsword.
The others bristle, trying to duck behind trees as they fire shots off in every direction.
Pointless.
The Exitus rifle sends round after round, each finding a weapon.
Soon enough, I have the Blood Ravens completely unarmed save for knives.
I start chipping away at known weakpoints in their armor, severing power to their systems, disabling various pieces, the like. It isn't boring work, requiring a little more skill than simply caving in their skulls with the heavy rounds.
The space marines are all crawling around, trying to regain some sense of order when I step back into their midst.
The sergeant growls a guttural curse as he eyes me, reaching for his knife, which I lazily boot away.
He grabs my leg.
The barrel of my pistol presses to his head.
"You coward!" He hisses, glaring.
"You traitor! You-you…"
"Victor." I smile, lighting up another coffin nail.
He doesn't say anything as he continues to glower up at me. The others groan and curse me, but they are harmless as kittens in dead armor with no weapons in sight.
"You know, on my home planet, Catachan, we have a saying…" I pry the bolt pistol out of the hands of another marine and slap him on his bald head.
"Never turn your back on a man with a rifle."
I grin as they continue to curse.
"You've made a terrible enemy, Assassin." The sergeant says as he forces himself to his feet.
"Impressive." I mutter, clearly not impressed at the least. I don't even give him the satisfaction of thinking he stands a chance. I pounce.
The astartes does well to calm down, the sharp knife hovering so close to his eye that were he to blink his eyelid would be cut.
"Now take your men, get in that rhino, and leave. Before I get serious." I pull the knife away.
The view is entirely satisfying, the downtrodden and infuriated magpies piling into their transport, nothing in their hands. Nothing to show for their trip.
I take a long drag as I watch them leave.
Ah, priceless.
Esh's ear twitches and she turns her head to look into the dense foliage beyond the pool.
"Hmm? Hear something?" You ask, though really you are too distracted with your current fortunes to care.
"It seems your assassin friend is doing some shooting." She comments, her gaze locked.
"Oh? Ah, kids these days, probably just shooting up some local wildlife or something."
You push down on Esh's hips, driving yourself deeper.
"Ah!? H-how can you still be doing that at a time like this?!"
You shrug.
"I'm sure it's nothing he can't handle, if it's even a problem. So relax and quit worrying about it."
Esh bites her lip, but turns to look back at you.
After a few minutes, and a small struggle to find a comfortable rhythm, it appears the farseer has completely forgotten about the incident in the distance.
You grab her by the hips, giving them a squeeze, as she digs her fingers into your back.
"D-don't s-stop, mon-k-keigh!" She increases her speed.
You can feel every inch of your wraithbone inside of her, which is an incredible sensation.
"Ah! Max I'm…!"
One last thrust drives you over the edge as well, and unable to hold out any longer, you let yourself go.
Esh collapses on you, both of you panting hard.
"Hah...ahhh...Max...3" The Eldar's chin rests on your chest, her eyes half-lidded and a happy smile on her generally frowning face.
"UNF!" Slaanesh bites its lip, looking away from the drink out into the warp beyond the window.
"DUDE, YOU ALRIGHT?" Doomrider stops mid-snort.
"Fine, fine. Better than fine." Slaanesh coos, idly stirring it's sparkly pink cocktail.
"SOMETHING HAPPEN?"
"Oh yes, something happened all right. A whole lot of something." Slaanesh licks its lips, looking intensely satisfied.
You and Esh clean each other off in the spring, enjoying the moment while it lasts, unfortunately.
The Farseer answers a call on her communicator, her face becoming serious.
"I understand, I'll be right there."
She sets the device down and turns back to you.
"That was… My people received a message. Apparently your Emperor is asking for an alliance, which has everyone in some kind of panicked state. They want me there to help make the decision."
"Huh? What decision?"
"Not all Eldar are as trusting of humans as I may be with you. It won't be easy to get many on board for such a thing." She puts a ribbon in her mouth as she starts putting her hair into a long ponytail.
"Do you think you can get them to agree to it?" You ask, focused intently on the conversation even as you stare at the Farseer's exposed ass.
"Hmmm… I hope so…." Esh looks serious, and not like she just pretends to be around you either.
"Let me go with you, I can be some help I'm sure." You start hastily throwing on your clothes until Esh embraces you from behind, her face pressing against your back.
"As much as I'd like you to come, I'm afraid your presence at such a meeting would not likely be met with warmness. This is an Eldar matter, and my people will want it decided among Eldar."
You clasp her hand in your own.
"Fair enough, but as soon as they reach some kind of decision, you've got to let me know."
Esh nods, you can feel it against your back.
"I will."
You sit on the edge of the rear of the buggy as you watch the Farseer walk toward a waiting ship that came for her. You perk up as she turns back.
"Hey Max!" She calls out.
You raise your arms as though to say "What?"
"I… I-I… I like you! Idiot!" She shouts, whipping back around and running toward the Eldar ship.
Well, as sad as you are to see Esh go, something else has piqued your interest.
"I want to be, the very best~" Your ringtone goes off.
"Like no one ever was!~" You sing along slightly before answering.
"Sup."
"OhmygoshMax!" Two excited voices from the other end.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"We didn't think you would answer!" Senna sings.
"Senda thought you were dead…" She whispers.
"Did not!" Her twin retorts.
"Err… You guys up to anything?"
"No! Well, kinda! Its why we called you! Daddy's given us his personal luxury skiff for the day, and we wanted to invite you along!"
You pause, mulling it over. You don't know what a Dark Eldar pleasure cruise entails, but it's an intriguing thought.
"Is it safe for me to be around you all now?"
The twins laugh.
"Oh yeah, VERRRYYY safe. Daddy made quick work of the dissenters."
"Cool. So uh… How do I find you?"
"Easy! Just send us your location and we'll have someone pick you up!"
"Alright, will do. See you in a bit then." You hang up and send them your coordinates.
You sit on the buggy as you wait, wondering what to do with the pile of equipment in front of you.
As much as you want to trust the twins, the last time you found yourself in their company you had to fight to the death in their arena. Where you almost did actually die. You put on the armor.
A few minutes pass after you finally get settled into it. Your stomach rumbles, reminding you that you didn't let Esh cook you anything as you'd kept her too preoccupied…
A transport roars into view, slamming to a quick stop in front of you. The side door opens and you recognize the same pilot you'd had before.
"Get the fuck in, I don't have time to be carting your punk ass around."
You frown, but clamber into the ship, which speeds off before you can even get the door shut entirely.
"You're kind of an asshole, you know that?" You mutter.
"So I've been told."
"How'd the date go?"
"Awful. No whips involved at all, total bust."
"Sucks."
"Indeed."
You and the pilot keep up the smalltalk, and it seems like maybe he's not as big a douche as you'd first been inclined to think.
Finally you spot the twins out of the window, both jumping up and down, waving at the transport.
The pilot brings it in for another jarring stop, and you pop open the door.
"Thanks for the ride man, we should totally go to this "Vegas" planet you've been talking about sometime."
"Totally bro, now get out, I've got shit to get done."
"Word."
You jump out, landing in front of the twins, who are squealing with joy at the sight of you.
"Oh Max! We're so excited, this is going to be so much FUN!" Senna has her hands held to her mouth and is jumping up and down.
"Yeah but first, Daddy wants to meet you." Senda smiles.
The twins lead you, locked arm in arm, down the dark hallway.
"Are… Are you sure he's going to be cool with this?" You ask, feeling increasingly nervous.
"Oh yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine with it." Senna laughs.
"Don't worry, if he gets mad, it will be at us, not you." Senda tries to alive your doubts.
"That just makes me more worried…"
They push open the great black doors, revealing a dark lit room inside. A tall and busty Dark Eldar clad in a flowing and quite revealing black dress greets the three of you.
"Oh my girls!" She hugs them, smooshing their faces into her.
"Mooommmm!" The twins protest.
"Stop it, you're embarrassing us!" Senda huffs.
"Oh? Who's this you've brought?" The older one looks up at you, locking your eyes to her own.
"That's Maximus! The one who survived the arena!" Senna cheers happily.
"Hmmm… This is him then is it? Your father is very anxious to meet this one. Now you two come with me, he wants a word with him alone."
The twins mother starts to drag the thrashing and whining twins away, before looking back to you.
"He's right through that other set of doors, just doing some office work and the like. Good luck!" She drags the twins out of sight.
You swallow.
Hard.
With a shaking hand, you push open the set of doors the twins mother pointed you too.
"Don't just stand there, come in." Barks the voice from inside the room.
Abandoning caution and completely ignoring the voice panicking in your head, you push the door open the rest of the way and enter the room.
This one is well lit, unlike most Dark Eldar room's you've been in.
A massive one sits at a gigantic desk, pen in hand and papers scattered all around the room, littering the desk.
"So you must be the famous champion of the arena my girls won't shut up about…" He eyes you over, looking quite unimpressed.
"Yup…" Is all you can manage. This guy looks like he could tear you apart with a flick of his wrist.
The Dark Eldar sighs, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and reaching for a mug.
"So let me get this straight. You get captured, entirely legally by our code I might add. Tossed into the arena, also legal. Where you fight and win, perfectly acceptable. Before killing, or at least helping my adorable but idiotic daughters kill, one of my best up and coming henchmen? Do I have it right?"
You gulp, your throat feels as dry as one of Yagis V's arid wastes.
"W-well… I mean, it's not…"
The Dark Eldar sighs, interrupting you.
"While as troublesome as losing my envoy here was, I can't fault you for his death, as it was more or less went perfectly per-code. I can however, call you an asshole for giving me this much work that I have to do. Do you have any idea how damn hard it is to find good help?"
He throws up his hands, gesturing around to all of the paperwork.
"I… Apologize?"
The Dark Eldar sits as still as a statue for a moment, before nodding.
"Fair enough, Vect." He says, all business.
"Max."
He extends one hand, which you shake.
He pulls you closer with the grip.
"Pleasantries aside, let's get one thing straight. You hurt my daughters in ANY way, and I mean any, and I rip off your limbs and sell you to a pleasure cult on some shithole of a planet. Clear?"
You nod furiously.
"Good, now get the fuck out of my office and get those two out of here. As much as I love them, I can't get any work done with those two around me, they are too hyper for their own good."
"I'll keep them off your hands for a while."
"Good. I can finally get some work done. You don't happen to know any good Dark Eldar around here, do you? Stupid question but I'm looking for up-and-comers to take over managing this place."
"Well, I do know of a good pilot…" You give Vect everything you know.
"Thanks, I'll see if he's got what it takes. Now get those daughters of mine out of my hair… And do enjoy the skiff, but don't wreck it. Cost me a fortune."
"I'll do my best sir." You turn and walk back through the doors, closing them behind you.
You exhale in relief, that could have gone a lot worse, actually.
"Well?" The twins grab you, looking genuinely concerned.
"He... He said to have fun?"
"Yay!" They both yell, grabbing you around the middle.
"I'm impressed you made it out alive." Their mother says, crossing her arms and looking like she's seeing you for the first time.
The twins quickly escort you away, both of them practicality buzzing with excitement.
You stare in awe as they stop you in front of a massive vessel, an intimidating brass colored hull bristling with weapons and topped with three masts.
"Pretty cool huh?" They both chime smugly at your look of awe.
"We get to ride that?"
"Yeah! You might even be allowed to drive it for a bit!"
"Err... Maybe later..."
No less than a hundred crew stand at attention as the twins lead you up onto the main deck of the vessel, each of them looking like a seasoned veteran.
"Wow, this is a lot... Your dad wasn't lying when he said this thing was expensive."
"Hah!" The twins laugh in tandem.
"Daddy's always yammering on and on about money, he worries too much. We try to get him to worry less by keeping him occupied but then he just gets mad and boots us out."
You don't have the heart to tell them that's exactly what he just did, though maybe less literal boot and more planned shipping them off to be someone elses problem for a day.
"So what exactly are we going to be doing on this thing anyways?" You reach out to touch a cannon, but a crew member stops you, shaking his head.
"Oh the usual stuff. The food is great first off! We can swim, sail around, fish..."
"Lets not fish..." You cut in.
"Well, whatever, but we can have an all-round great time!" The twins look as though they are about to explode in glee.
"Ladies, it is time to depart." A giant of a Dark Eldar approaches you. He must be the captain, he just looks captain-ey.
"Where we headed, captain?" You ask, really wanting to know.
"Who, me?" The giant points at himself.
"Yeah? You are the captain right?"
He shakes his head no.
"Silly Max, he isn't the captain today." The twins chide you, grinning ear to ear.
"Oh. Who is it then?"
"Why YOU, dummy!" They cheer, placing something on your head.
They hold up a mirror to show you. Its a cut-out of a hat...
Dear Emprah...
Its turned hat-chan into a tricorner.
"All hand ter deck, full sails! Ladies, present the captain with ye poop decks!"
You get swashbuckling, and the crew snaps to life. They toss ropes off the sides, casting the ship to the seas.
"Your orders, Captain? I'm the helmsmen, you can call me Teach." A ferocious looking Dark Eldar gives you a curt bow, looking like he's anxious to get underway.
You look to the twins, who both give you their best salute.
"Ca'pn!" They both shout.
"Raise the anchor, ready all guns!"
The crew snaps to life again, busy carrying out your orders.
The twins hand you a map, which you give a quick glance.
"Where are we headed, cap?" They ask.
"We're going here!" You snap your finger to the T.
The helmsman's face falls.
"Trust me, Captain, you don't want to go there..."
"Damn the consequences, I am the Captain of this ship and my word is the law!"
You pull him aside and switch to a hushed whisper.
"But seriously, what does the T stand for?"
The giant grimaces, as though he doesn't really want to say.
"Tortuga, Captain... The T is for Tortuga."
"...And...?"
"Well, its a pirate stronghold, Captain. Certainly no place to take these fine young ladies."
You look him over.
"...You're fucking with me, aren't you?"
Teach grins.
"Of coarse I am, its one of the funnest places on this damn world. Provided, of coarse, that you can show that you're tough enough to belong."
You bristle, doing your best to look the part of Captain.
"Yo ho!" The twins call out to you. You hadn't noticed them slip away while you were talking with Teach, but apparently they had because they come back toward you dressed entirely different. Each of them now sporting their best pirate attire, swords at their sides and pistols in their belts.
"Avast ye scoundrels, ye look so good that I should plunder yer booties!"
"Oh Captain~!" The twins giggle, holding their faces with both hands.
With that, the ship departs, headed for the far port, a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
You stand on the open bridge of the ship, falling more and more into your pirate captain persona as you bark out orders.
The twins seem to be getting into it as well, both of them looking incredibly pleased at this entire turn of events.
You look out into the vast expanse of ocean with the monocular the twins had given you, along with a few proper pirate-y additions to your getup such as a sabre and a pistol belt.
A younger Dark Eldar crewmen runs up to you, looking both excited and nervous. He appears out of breath, stopping at the foot of the stairs leading to the bridge.
"Captain!" He starts.
"Spit it out lad!" You yell down at him, putting away your monocular.
"Sir! We've sighted three ships, each within reach!"
Hmm, this isn't something you had considered before, the actual piracy part. You aren't sure if its something you want to get involved in, though it might be.
"Well, what are we looking at son?"
"Captain! A Chaos vessel running due east! A Rogue Dark Eldar ship heading north! Lastly, a Necron vessel steaming hard directly at us, sir!"
"Alright lads!" You shout to the crew, who look at you for direction.
"The Necrons are headed right at us, eh? Turn hard port, bring us around for a broadside!"
The crew snaps to, moving at incredible speed. The vessel easily turns, and quite nimbly so for a ship of such a size.
You swallow hard. You don't know why the Necrons are heading right at you, or who they are. All you know is that you have a bad feeling about this...
Teach steers the craft with well seasoned hands, his steel eyes watching the approaching Necron ship, growing ever larger in the distance.
"Hold..." You tell the gunners, each looking anxious.
The Necron ship gets closer, and closer, and closer.
Finally, its within range, and you can see what it really looks like.
The ship is massive, with several decks each armed with a plethora of gauss weapons jutting from the sides. Oh shit, this boat is far bigger than your own.
Large enough, it seems, to house a Monolith atop it.
