It took Sybil only a few minutes to change into her nurse uniform and call for Dr. Clarkson. It was only five in the morning but the house was already buzzing with activity and Sybil asked a housemaid she met in the hallway to alert Carson about the situation and herself when her father would be awake. She didn't want to waste any time to inform him about Tom's whereabouts and that he wasn't going anywhere for any time soon.
She was sitting in the chair next Tom's bed, trying to calm down the ache in his head with bathing his forehead when Dr. Clarkson came in.
"Nurse Crawley?" he asked right away. "What happened? Was he hit on the head?"
"Yes, sort of", she answered." He hit his head on…the wardrobe", she lied.
It wasn't necessary to add to Tom's feeling useless enough by telling the whole story. The most important thing was that he hit his head.
"Since then", she added, "he's suffering from some kind of violent headache. It comes and goes. But each crisis is worse so that's why I called you."
"You did the right thing", answered Dr. Clarkson, bending over Tom to assess the situation.
"I don't know what's wrong with him. He seemed just fine about…I mean, yesterday".
She squeezed her lips together, realizing what she almost let slip out.
"I'm going to examine him. Could you please go to find some clean water?" he asked.
Sybil sensed he wanted her away, probably obeying her father's orders. She didn't have any choice and not wanting to make a fuss in front of the people already working around, she left the room.
When she came back a few minutes later, Dr. Clarkson was done. She put the water down on the bedside table.
"What happened to him?" she asked softly.
"I don't know exactly. It could be anything, really. We never know with the brain. But he has to be confined to bed rest for a while. I don't want him to move too much in case he developed some blood clot in the brain."
"Is that dangerous?"
Dr. Clarkson sighed and looked away.
"It could be fatal…"
Sybil's heart stopped. No, it can't be. She couldn't lose him now. Immediately, she felt guilty. What if their lovemaking had started this? She would never be able to forgive herself.
"But it's also possible that the swelling is decreasing causing these successive crises. So, we just have to wait".
"Wait again…"sighed Sybil. "But, if it's the latter, does it mean he'll be able to see again?"
"We won't know for sure about that until it did happen I'm afraid. For now, I sedated him so he could rest without feeling any pain. He'll sleep through the day and probably much of the night. I want someone to stay with him during all this time. Call me if there's any change or if the pain gets worse."
Sybil nodded and thanked him. Once he left, she let herself fall in the chair next to the bed but rose quickly. There was no possible way she could sit still. Her mind kept replaying memories from the past few days: the confessions of love, the nearly desperate gentleness of his kiss that night and the blazing passion within him just the next night, his utter withdrawal from her this morning. If something happened to him, if she never got the chance to make things right, to talk to him again…
In a futile attempt to escape her thoughts, Sybil looked down at Tom then went to the window. She opened it despite the cold outside in the hope some fresh air would clear her mind. It didn't. Tears that had been startlingly close to the surface for hours pushed a little closer. One slipped from her eye even as she heard a footsteps behind her. She wiped the tear away as her father stepped up close.
Calling upon every scrap of her nurse training, Sybil forced herself to get a grip on her emotions. She turned to the man who wanted to get rid of the man she loved, ready to deny her pain or the slightest of the feeling she could have. Then, she saw the look on his face. She had never seen him this close of tears himself.
"I met Dr. Clarkson as he was leaving. He told me about Branson's condition", he said softly.
The sound of her father's voice was almost too much. She felt her insides beginning to cave. No amount of nurse training was going to get her through this. She couldn't just suck it up and pretend her world wasn't falling apart. Unwilling to lose it completely in front of her father, Sybil did the only thing she could. She ran.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
For hours after she finally managed to get a hold of herself, Sybil walked Downton grounds, nearly oblivious to the cold and the sunshine. This couldn't happen. She couldn't lose him now. She was supposed to spend the rest of her life with him. She knew that now with a certainty that shook her. So, she couldn't lose him now, could she?
Last night was the most incredible experience of her life, a true mingling of bodies and souls. The fates wouldn't be so cruel as to give her one small taste of a joining like that, only to condemn her to a life without it, could they?
To be continued...almost done people !
