Po, the Harem Master

Part 12: Master Eagle saves the Day?!

by Neoraichu

Po X Various. The story returns to the beginning of the Kung Fu Panda Movies and Legends of Awesomeness, and asked the question, "what if this was written like a Harem Anime?"

WARNING: This is a strange tale, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Po, Master Viper, and Scorpion were all falling back into the cavern they just tried to leap out of. The survival of Po and Scorpion were in doubt, but the injured state of Viper all but sealed her doom. Time itself seemed to slow to a crawl as the last of the rocks and debris fell around them.

"Po!" shouted Viper and Scorpion as one, "I love you! Always!"

Po watched his life flash before his eyes, and it was a real snooze-fest until he became the Dragon Warrior. He had to admit that he couldn't remember where he was born, and her couldn't remember ever having a mother. Just the fond memories of being raised by Mister Ping to help him out at the Noodle Shop. He began to wonder why his father and him were so different, or why he never saw anyone who looked like himself. There was a vague memory of wolves and a most glorious bird, but no idea to the context of those images.

Then a feathered blur shot by, and they were all being lifted skyward by a most magnificent raptor. The body feathers were deep brown color, and the primary flight feathers were black at the tips, shifting to brown in the middle, and finally turning white at the base. The raptor, an Eagle, had black eyes that floated in pools of yellow (instead of the usual 'whites of the eyes' thing). Their beak was black at the tip shifting to white at the base, a wicked hook at the end of it, and he was sure the claws would surely rend their flesh if that was what was intended.

The eagle was dressed in a fine golden vest trimmed in silver with a sash of gold. There was also a golden hood that covered the head save for the beak which was also trimmed in silver. Around the waist was attached a pair of steel claws with gold trim that looked like it would just fit over the eagle's normal claws.

"MASTER EAGLE?!" shouted Po.

"Oh please," said the feminine voice, "I'm just Shining Eagle. Master Eagle is my father. Why can't anyone who isn't an avian tell us apart?"

"Sorry," he said.

"By the way," asked Eagle, "Who fired off the Thundering Wind Hammer? That was about the most impressive thing I've ever seen."

"That's not important right now. I hate to impose more, but my friend Master Viper is going to die! If we can't get her back to the Jade Palace in time, all is lost! Please tell me you know where the Jade Palace is!"

"Oh please, I can find that place in my sleep. I'll have you there in a matter of minutes if you don't mind the rush of wind."

"I don't care!" called Po, "JUST FLY!"

"POWER DIVE!" she called as they she swept her wings back, and they began to dive towards the ground at a fairly steep angle. They plunged down the side of the mountain towards the forest below. The rush of wind was deafening. Po couldn't even imagine they were diving around 200 miles per hour, as he had no concept of even how fast that was. The screaming dive ended as they leveled out just above the level of the bamboo trees.

"THAT! WAS! AWESOME!" shouted Po. He had never traveled so fast in his life. The bamboo trees passed under them so fast, he could not tell them apart. But soon the Jade Palace came into view, as did the town that supported it. They slowed down slightly as the Eagle began to climb up again towards the Palace grounds. She flew over the Palace walls as she aimed down towards the ground.

Fenghuang was walking towards the Training Hall when she saw them fly in.

"Shining Eagle?!" she called as she saw the raptor, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Well, Fenghuang, I guess we meet again!" called the eagle, "Ready to battle me?! This time I won't let you win so easily!"

"You'll never be better than me!"

"Let my dump this load..."

"HEY STOP IT!" shouted Po at the top of his lungs, "VIPER NEEDS HELP RIGHT AWAY! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU TWO DID IN THE PAST! FENGHUANG HAS CHANGED ANYWAYS!"

"You're joking, right?" said Shining Eagle as she let Po and the others down to the ground softly.

"No," sighed Fenghuang, "He's right. I have changed. I'm not nearly so vain or arrogant anymore. There's others I care about now. Oogway saw that in me... before passing on to the next life."

"Oogway is one with the Universe now?!"

"Yes."

Po carried Viper towards the infirmary as Scorpion followed at his heels.

"I guess the eagles are the last to hear these things," mused Shining Eagle.

"And the gorillas," added the owl, "No one wants to tell them anything."

Po laid Viper out on a cot as Scorpion said, "I need hot clean water, cotton and lined wraps. I'll also need the strongest alcohol you have. The clearer, the better. This is going to require a little operation, and it won't be pretty." She snapped her pincers to prove her point. "If the sight of blood bothers you, you shouldn't look at this."

"I'll get the stuff," he said as he went out. He ran to the infirmary storage room for everything but the alcohol, and then set off for the kitchen for that. Coming back, he said, "I got the stuff!"

"Leave it on the other cot," replied Scorpion, "I'm about to get busy for a while."

"I'll see if I can find Tigress and the others! They're probably at the training hall!"

He burst into the Training Hall as he saw the others working out.

"Master Tigress!" he yelled.

They came over to him as Tigress said, "So what's the emergency?"

"MASTER VIPER WAS HURT BAD!" he said, "SCORPION IS TRYING TO SAVE HER NOW!"

"Take us to her at once!" commanded Tigress.

Po rushed back towards the infirmary as Tigress, Monkey, Mantis and Crane followed. They rushed into the room as Scorpion turned to face them. The water was just a little bloodied, and her lower body was wrapped in the now somewhat bloody linens.

"I did everything I could," she said.

"Will she live?!" he asked.

"She'll recover," she replied, "but there was damage I couldn't fix."

"What was that?!"

"There was a lot of damage to her ovum and uterus," she answered, "I did what I could, but there will be scarring... bad scarring... the scarring will most likely render her... sterile for the rest of her life. She may never bear a child..."

Po rushed to hug Viper as her will broke, and she began to weep and wail on his shoulder like he had never heard her cry before. Every once of pain and anguish flooded out of her as she made enough noise to alert everyone in the barracks and around it.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly over and over.

"It's not your fault," said Scorpion, "or anyone's fault. It was an act of the gods. It was an accident. But when she heals in a couple of weeks, and we unwrap her tail, she might be fine. There might not be any scarring at all. I've seen miracles like that before. But I'm not holding my breath. This kind of injury almost never has a happy ending to it."

"I'll settle for her being alive," he answered.

"But right now, she really needs her rest."

"I don't think she can do that now," said Po as she wailed and wept on his shoulder.

"Alright," she replied, "Sorry about this."

Before Po could ask Scorpion what she was talking about, she tapped a pressure point on the back of Viper's head and made her pass out quietly. Po laid the snake out on the bed, and pulled the sheets up to her head and about the last half a foot of her neck.

"I promise I'll check up on her regularly," said Quiong Qi.

Po nodded as he stepped out into the hall. With Tigress and the others just behind him, he bumped into Fenghuang and Shining Eagle as they came in.

"So Tai Lung did that to you?" asked Shining Eagle as she looked at Fenghuang's wings in slings, "I heard he was a bit of a bastard before he was hauled off to prison somewhere, but that's just uncouth! Not honorable at all, I say!"

"Oh, it hurt like hell, too," she replied.

"I guess our rematch will just have to wait until you get better, then."

"With help, I should be well again by the end of the week."

"I wish you well and godspeed on your recovery."

"Thank you."

Looking at Po, Shining Eagle asked, "Is your friend Viper going to be alright?"

"She'll live," he answered, "but there's serious doubt if she'll ever have any children."

"Maybe if I dove steeper,.." she said.

"No, that wouldn't have made any difference here. I thank you for doing the best you could have."

"Alright."

"Po is one of the most loyal friends anyone could have," whispered Fenghuang to Shining Eagle, "He saved my life and made me think about things... differently. If you think I haven't really changed by the time my wings heal, I promise I'll let you kill me without a fuss."

"That's a serious offer you're making."

"Deadly serious," she replied.

"Very well, I shall take you at your word. If after our battle, I have judged you to not have changed your ways, I will kill you."

"I expect nothing less. You should speak to the Dragon Warrior. Po can tell you all about how different I am now."

"I will make a point of speaking to the Dragon Warrior then."

"I think you will find speaking to him... enlightening."

"Yeah, she's different know," said Po, "I can vouch for that much."

"Well, I'd rather speak to you more privately later on," she replied.

"Uh... alright. Why's that?"

"Because I want to be sure that your opinions about Fenghuang are actually your own opinions."

"Uh... why wouldn't they be?"

"Because she has a reputation for making people agree with her, shall we say?"

"I'm wounded," said Fenghuang.

"I know that," replied Po.

"She was talking about her pride, not her wings and body," said Shining Eagle.

"Oh..."

"Are you planning to dress sometime today?"

"I am dressed," she replied, "as much as Tigress let me."

"I'm not stopping her," said Tigress, "The medicine in her bandages dried a while ago. She somehow thinks this is some kind of revenge on my part for what happened back in the bamboo forest, but I think she's imagining the whole thing."

Fenghuang sniffed, "I'm not." She turned just her head to face Po. "Po?" she asked, "Would you be a dear and help me dress then?"

"You want a guy to help you dress?" he asked.

"No, just you. I can trust you. After all, I trust you to handle my wings gently. You can take off the slings and put them back on with care. When you help me dress, I'm sure you'll pay attention to any distress I might have."

"Uh... okay..."

"Well let's go, great and powerful Dragon Warrior," she cooed as she walked back towards the student barracks, "Let's not keep me waiting, shall we?"

"Uh... sure..." Po followed Fenghuang as she went into the student barracks.

"She has him wrapped around her little talon," grumbled Tigress, "or at least she thinks she does."

"You don't think she does?" asked Shining Eagle.

"He's just humoring her because of his good nature," she replied, "but one day, she'll push him too far, make one too many demands, and she'll find out just how wrong she really is."

"What do you feel about him?"

"Huh?" she asked absentmindedly, "He's... he's... that's not particularly important right now..."

"Oh, I see," she replied, "So you don't mind that she's snuggling up to him? That's she playing to make him her own play toy?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Tigress objected as she blushed.

"Oh, I think you do."

...

"Be gentle with me," cooed Fenghuang as he gently removed her wings from her slings, "They're still sensitive, darling."

"I am," he replied, "uh... darling?"

"Oh, I knew you had feelings for me!" she cooed.

"Uh-huh..."

He gently helped her into her undergarments.

"Oh, you ruffled my breast feathers," she said as she glanced down her herself, "be a darling and smooth them out for me, would you?"

"You won't yell or anything, would you?"

"Of course I wouldn't do something like that for something I asked you to do."

He carefully and gently smoothed down her breast feathers.

"But you do like doing it, don't you?"

"Ah!" he yelped, "I'm not a sicko!"

"Oh, I was just teasing you then," she cooed, "I know you aren't really a sicko."

"All right," he sighed in relief.

"It's perfectly normal for you to like my body," she replied, "I totally understand."

He gulped as he finished smoothing her breast feathers.

"Now be a dear and help me with my robes and sash, would you?"

He nodded quickly. Once he was done, she then said, "Put my wings back in their slings, and we're all done here, okay?" He nodded again.

When he was finished, she closed her eyes and rubbed the side of her head against his chest. "You know," she cooed, "I love you because you're the nicest, kindest, most loving person I've ever known. I'll do anything for you, you know. You just have to ask me." She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "ANYTHING."

"Maybe you could... GLURK!" he said as he was cut off by a deep beak to lip kiss from the owl. She closed her eyes again as she purred into the kiss. He began to wonder why he never saw those sneaky kiss attacks coming.

"Really Po?" asked Tigress as she separated them again, "A little decorum?" He wondered how long she was observing them, or when she decided to step in on them.

"Hwaaa..." he said nonsensically.

"Oh," said the owl as she circled Tigress, "I think someone here is just feeling a little left out."

"I don't know what you're..." she started, but then Fenghuang used her head to push her right into Po's arms as she protested, "Hey!"

Po grabbed Tigress to keep to keep them both from falling over. She found herself staring into his eyes as he looked wide eyed back. His arms were wrapped about her torso.

"Go on, Tigress," encouraged the owl, "You know you want to!"

"You all right?" he asked her innocently.

"I... I..." she stammered.

"Just kiss her, you dolt!" said Fenghuang, "That's what she wants the most!"

They both blushed hotly as he kissed her on the lips. Even Fenghuang was surprised by how many minutes the two of them spent with their lips locked together. But soon he broke off as he whispered to her, "I'm not ready to choose just one of you."

Tigress looked dismayed. She looked shocked. Breaking from his arms, she fled the room swiftly.

"When it comes to love, Tigress is just so innocent," cooed Fenghuang, "It's just so precious. Well let's just check in on your other patient. Viper might just need your help even more than I do."

Po nodded as he followed Fenghuang from the room. He had no idea that she might be using Viper as another bargaining chip for her, and against Tigress.