Thank you so much for your lovely reviews. I'm afraid this is a very long chapter but only little bits going on. I will be relating some things to the Captain James story but there will be some changes. I will be updating as soon as i can. Thank you
Chapter 12
3 February 2014
So it looks like I will be going home tomorrow. I have mixed emotions about leaving the lads for two weeks. I feel like we should be all together, looking out for one another. They are my brothers and if anything happened to them whilst I was away I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
And then there is the boss. Over the past few nights I have been sneaking out of the sleeping quarters when the lads have nodded off and met the boss in his office. We just sit and talk about everything and anything drinking cups of tea. It's nice to go and relax with him after the day patrols. We haven't hugged or kissed since and I think it is best that it stays that way, for many reasons.
Kinders has organised a FOB Olympics tomorrow before we leave. Brains has organised who will be doing what events and it turns out I will be doing the last event. Apparently, because I am small, I will be more agile to go under and over obstacles. They obviously didn't see me on basic training did they? I'm bleeding shitting myself that I will let them all down. On the stage there is a table and on it is the cup for tomorrow's winners. The lads are always eying up the cup when we walk to the mess tent. It's only a bleeding plastic cup, with cardboard handles sticky tapped to the side and it has been sprayed gold. Is it really worth it? What a shit prize!
4 February 2014
Well we are level with 1 section and the final event will decide who wins the Olympics. It has been so funny to watch the lads make absolute tools of themselves. I haven't laughed this much for a while.
So looking at the final event I have to climb over a wall of sand bags, spin around the broom stick 5 times, spin a hula-hoop around my body for 10 seconds and it is not allowed to touch the ground and the final one is to crawl under a net. Easy! Not!
After climbing over the sand bags I am level with both 1 and 3 section, I need to make time up somehow. Once I'm on the hoop I look beside me to see the other two struggling to spin the hoop around their bodies.
"Come on Dawes, you're going on a 2 week holiday, have some human decency and put some bloody effort in."
"This is war intit?"
"Deadly competition, now dig in." I am ahead of the other two and then I see we have an egg and spoon race which I didn't notice before. I have to balance the egg and walk through a set of tyres.
I am at the end and have to crawl under the net to the finish line. I am on my hands and knees covered in sand and dust and just when I see the finish line- which by the way, is full of 2 section lined along the red tape- I have my foot trapped in the net. I try to free it myself but which bloody idiot do I get to come and help me? Bleeding Smurf.
"2 weeks R&R with me Mols, reckon we're going have a belter."
I don't reply as he frees my foot and I stand to run to the finish line where I am picked up by 2 section. I am on the shoulders of fingers holding this stupid cup but I have enjoyed myself so much. I look over at the boss who has his hands behind his head with a huge smile on his face. Why can't I go up and snog his face off?
The lads are well happy with winning the so called 'Olympics' and to be honest I am happy with the fact that we have had such a good morning. I'm sat thinking about the morning events eating a bowl of coco pops when Sohail walks past giving me an evil look and then talking to his mate. What have I actually done to him? Maybe it is because I am the only woman here. It is like the ANA soldiers are not comfortable being around females.
I decide to ignore him and tuck into my breakfast. Then an arm comes over my shoulder and dips a spoon in my coco pops.
"Oi!" Oh shit, it's the boss.
"Sorry boss ah thought you were Sohail."
"You wouldn't share your breakfast with Sohail?" He must be having a laugh, he knows me and him don't see eye to eye.
"No way. I'm not letting him dip his spoon in my coco pops."
"I take it that's not meant to be a euphemism Dawes?" Am I supposed to know what that means? We don't speak but he helps himself to another spoonful.
"As its you boss, I'll let you in on a little secret.."
"Go on then!"
"Well, ah 'ave a supply of coco pops 'idden. But don't tell those muppets, they'll never leave me alone." I smile at him. I don't wanna go home and leave him here.
"Would you like me to keep them safe for you until you return?" He smiles and nudges me with his elbow.
"Nah, you're alright boss. Ah think they are safe where they are thanks." He laughs at my response and then faces me.
"I'll speak to you in the med tent before you go, you'd better get packed up."
Before packing up I have a cold shower to wash away the sand from earlier. I dress into my PT shorts and vest top whilst trying to pack my Bergan and towel dry my hair. It doesn't take long to pack when I notice James behind me. How long has he been here for?
"Enjoying the view boss." I don't realise but I am flirting. Since we spoke about our feelings, we have decided to stay as 'friends' until we return home. He still treats me like one of the lads when we're with the section which I don't mind, he's just doing his job.
"Shut up Dawes." He smile at me and then takes a seat on the med bed. I carry on sorting my kit out and then sit on the bed I used to sleep on.
"How long do you think you will stay in for Dawes?"
"The army sir?" He nods in answer to my question.
"Ah dunno. It's hard to plan ahead when ah think back to Bashira n tha."
I pause and think about my time on tour. It has been amazing, meeting the under 5's and the boss, but the fact that we have made no difference to Afghanistan as a whole is very disappointing.
"Ah just wish ah could sort it all out, Bashira n 'er family."
"Well, you're no super hero Dawes. Just do the job your bloody good at and we'll be home by Christmas." He smiles and then winks at me. I'd love to spend Christmas with him!
"Now, erm, I have a request for your Dawes." I look up to him as he walking over towards me.
"Boss…"
"Well I have my nespresso machine sent out from England at great expense…"
"To the bleeding tax payer!"
"Maybe, but completely justifiable because I am not a fully functioning solider until I have had my first shot of coffee in the morning." He is knelt in front of with a sharpe in his hand.
"Just a tea bag does me boss."
"Now Dawes, London, Regent Street. Go and buy me some Rosabaya and I will adore you for always." As he is speaking he is writing the name of the coffee on the inside of my arm. Well at least I won't forget the name of it. Good Idea!
"For always boss?" My fingers are entwined with his and he uses his other to stroke the top of my hand. I am looking at him and his face is so relaxed and gentle, there is no Mr stern face in sight.
"Come back to me." What does he mean, just come back to the FOB, to the lads? Or just to him, for him? I don't know how I will be able to cope two weeks without seeing him. I will come back but not only for him but the lads too.
"I will don't worry."
With my hands in his, I lean forward and he meets my lips. Before our lips touch we are disrupted.
"Oi, bossman." He suddenly stands to his feet and turns towards the door waiting for someone to walk through and then looks at me.
"Kinders will be the death of me Molly." I stand up and walk towards him. "Please behave yourself, I want you back in one piece." He holds my face in his hands. "And stay away from Smurf, you know what a creep he is."
"Yes boss." I stand on my tip toes and plant a kiss on his cheek. "Look afta ya feet wont ya?"
He walks towards the door and turns.
"And don't forget to bring a dictionary, for me to translate your cockney slang into English." He winks and walks out. I am not going to see this man for two whole weeks, how the bleeding hell am I going to cope? And more importantly, how am I meant to cope on a plane with Smurf?
I finish packing my kit away when I hear the helicopter overhead, I really need to hurry up and get ready.
Outside, the lads have given both me and Smurf a list of shopping.
"A tub of Marmite, big bastard. 500g minimum!" He emphasises on the 'minimum. They all followus shouting out their orders although they have already given me a written list.
Everyone watches us out of the gates and onto the helicopter which has landed outside of the FOB.
I stop just before going out the gate and turn to see the lads and the boss looking at me. The boss closes the gap.
"Ah can't go." I'm looking straight into his eyes and can see the frown lines appearing.
"Ya might gonna need a medic."
"We might gonna already got one."
"But she aint me.." and leave you here, leave you all here. I just want to tell him how much I love him.
"Dawes… You have to go, I need that bloody coffee." If I leave him here something might haven and I won't be here to save him.
I turn and run towards the helicopter before I start to cry. I climb in and sit next to Smurf looking back into the FOB. I can see him facing me but I can't make out if he is looking at/for me.
…
Back at Bastian we waited only 30 minutes and then we were on the plane back to Brize Norton. Smurf is sat next to me listening to his ipod. I have nothing to do for the duration of the flight and the plane isn't the most comfortable. I pull out the list of things the lads want and can't help but smile.
Fingers – Marmite 500g minimum! Nice one me love
Nude-Nut: Protein shake (Chocolate flavour)+ Gillet razor (with refills)
Brains – Eye drops x2 J
Dangles – Boxers (s) x2 packs. Cheers Mols ;)
Mansfield – Lynx shower gel + chocolate digestives.
Kinders – ear plugs. (I'm fed up of hearing them fuck muppets snoring).
I then remember the boss' which is written on my arm. I wonder where he got the writing on the arm idea, obviously pen to paper wasn't the boss' kind of bag. But I like it, no love it.
In previous relationships-if I can call them that- I could never see a future, whereas with the boss, I can't wait for us to return home from tour and give things ago. I dread to think what his reaction will be when he meets the animals I live with. I imagine his house is well posh and clean compared to my house.
I am looking forward to seeing the little bleeders though. I should probably buy some sweets and chocolate from the train station when I get into London, they will be happier with the treats than seeing me. I wonder if dad is still off the drink, I haven't heard from mum since earlier last month and she doesn't know I am even coming home on leave. I just hope Nan is there too, I miss her and her shitty jokes.
"You alright?"
"Ah dunno."
"You what?"
"All these people dying."
"what you on about Mol?"
"We'll be home soon, can't wait to meet your family!" Is he having a laugh, he has no chance!
"Well, that's not gonna bleedin happen."
"Don't fight it Mol."
"Wha exactly am ah fightin Smurf?"
"Your feelings for me." He has a huge grin across his face. Does he actually think I have feelings for him, in that way?
"Just to clarify, if you were the last bloke on earth who ad a face and personality transplant, ah still rather go without cheers."
"You say this but you won't be able to resist." He tenses his are to show off his biceps. "Feed them swans baby!"
Oh god, I have more hours with this muppet. Does he really think I have feelings for him though? I don't think I have ever given the impression that I have feelings for him. He isn't my type, he isn't the boss!
…..
I had fallen asleep and have just woken up whilst landing. Out on the tarmac at Brize, it is throwing it down.
"Nice to see the good old British weather hasn't changed aye!" Smurf looks knackered and I'm not sure he had much sleep on the plane. I feel tiered but now I am here, I can't wait to see my family.
We walk into a room where there are soldiers families gathered waiting to meet. I know my family won't be here for the fact they don't even know I am coming home and, neither of them can drive anyway.
I have just met Smurf's mum and she is lovely, she gave him a massive hug in front of everyone which caught him of guard. I know Smurf misses his mum whilst we're away and even the lads can tell especially when he receives a letter. Candy is a tall thin brunette and the only resemblance between them is their hair colour. Smurf must have taken after his dad because he isn't very tall, well compared to the rest of 2 section.
"Mother, this is Mols. We can take her to the train station can't we?" I was surprised with how Smurf spoke to his mum, it was almost a demand. And I didn't bleeding want a lift, I could easily catch a taxi.
"'Ello Mrs Smurf." I smile and look at her. "Nah, its alright, I'll catch a taxi." I was being generally serious.
"Of course we will love." From only being with her for a few minutes I can see how kind hearted Candy is. For someone who has already lost a son in Afghan to another son who is currently fighting the same war, I would have thought she would have some kind of hard nut.
The car journey just makes me feel more tiered but I can't help the excitement of surprising the kids. Candy has offered to take me to Reading where I will catch a train into London. She says that I should at least get some 'shut eye' before getting onto the train.
Looking out of the window I look at the cars and the people travelling. It is so strange that most of these people have no idea what it is like to be in afghan, in the middle of a war. I used to be one of these, one who only thought about TGI Fridays. In a job which would have ended in me being sacked. Now I have a job which helps to save lives, even in a dangerous place, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Smurf is asleep in the passenger seat when I hear Candy upset, wiping tears away from her eyes.
"Everythin ok?"
"When his brother was shot, they knocked on my door.." She paused and then sniffled. ".. They said he was back at Bastian in a stable condition." I lean forward to listen, it is hard to hear with the sound of the road.
"The next day they returned to say he had died from his injuries."
"I'm sorry Candy. Smurf has told me a lot about him."
"When Smurf was injured they knocked on my door again." This was hard for her to talk about but the realisation of seeing her son safe next to her must be a great feeling.
"Said he was shot near a minefield.. He was safe at Bastian but they didn't come back." She looked at me the middle mirror and I could see the tears falling down her face. I put my hand on her shoulder.
"That's shit, am sorry."
She had started to calm and I can't help but think that she needed to chat to someone about it. I can't imagine what it would be like for her, living on her own with her only son nearly dying.
"Did I make a tit of myself at the airfield?"
"Nah, you made a prized tit out of him!" And we both laugh which seems to wake Smurf up.
We stop off to fill the car with petrol and I have feel uncomfortable being in the car with Smurf and his mum. The atmosphere is strange, with how Smurf spoke about his mother whilst on tour, I would have expected them to get a long, but he is very-in my eyes- shitty with her. Surely she doesn't deserve that!
"Am gonna get out ere Smurf." I open the door and Candy is filling the car with petrol at the pump. "Thanks for the lift Mrs Smurf. Am gonna walk to the station, its only down the road."
Eventually, both Smurf and Candy let me go and I give them both hugs goodbye. It was such a great idea saying I was going to walk to the station, but where was the station and where the bleeding hell am I?
I find google maps on my phone and it turns out I am just 5 miles from Reading station I should have had a lift in the car! I google taxi number in or around Reading and give Lucky 10 a call. Instead of asking to go to the station, I ask them to drop me off at home in London. I really haven't got the energy to haul my kit bags from a taxi to the train station and then into another. It's gonna cost £55 but I really aren't bothered about the money at the moment.
30 minutes into the journey, the taxi driver asks me about Afghan and I do answer his questions but I am so tiered I keep dropping off. The jet lag and of course the travelling is finally catching up on me but I know I'll be too excited to sleep when I arrive home. I can't wait to see the surprise on my mums face.
The taxi journey takes in total 1 hour 46 minutes as we got stuck in some traffic coming through London, there's a surprise! We pull up outside the house and I can't help but smile. It's dark out but I don't feel scared to walk through the streets, I've been fighting a bleeding war in Afghan, I can fight the twats walking around with knifes. I tip the taxi driver and he helps to take my bags out of the back.
"Cheers mate!"
"No thank you." He shakes my hand. "Thank you for fighting for this country, there are some of us who know it is worth fighting for." I open my hand and he has given me the £70 back. "If only everyone was like you love." He smiled and got back in the car before I could argue back. I was shocked that a stranger would give me a free lift, what a great man! I turn and watch the taxi drive up through the street and then pick my bags up.
I knock loudly on the door so everyone can hear me.
"Somebody gonna get the door or wha?"
"Dave get off ya fat arse 'n get it yaself!" I hear my mum shouting so I assume she is upstairs sorting the kids out for baths and he is sat on the sofa.
I see the shadow of my dad and hear a mumbling. I assume he is swearing under his breath. He undoes the lock and opens the door. Do you know when you wished you'd had a camera to take a picture of someone's expression? That was now!
"Oh Fuckin' 'ell its our Mols!" He walks up and wraps his arms around me and I drop my bags and hug him back. It's been years since I had a hug off my dad and he doesn't smell of alcohol. It's like he's a new man.
"Am dead proud of ya Mol, onestly." Before I reply, mum, nan and the rest of the sprogs are gathered around shouting my name and giving me hugs.
"Am sorry, ave got no sweets ah didn't go to the station!"
"Oh, Moly ya look shattered. Let the girl in then bleeding 'ell.2 It is so good to hear the cockney accent!
9 February 2014
I can't get my nut around being at home and being normal. I can't help thinking about the lads and the boss back at the FOB, I don't even know they are safe and I'm sat at home eating beans on toast watching Coronation Street whilst they're fighting a war. It just doesn't feel right.
This afternoon Mum and her mate Shazza are doing a bit of food and a few members of the family are coming around. I don't feel like partying, I just wanna get back on the plane to Bastian so I'm closer to them lot. Smurf has text every day asking how I am and what am I up too, but he also feels lost. What are we gonna be like when we return home from tour?
Shazza doesn't half look dodgey though. I didn't really know what to expect when I first saw her but she's well weird. I know she has been helping out with my mum and that-which is great, especially whilst I'm away- but I can't help but think she's sticking her hooter in a bit too much. She takes control of the kids and everything, dads had enough of her. He and Nan reckon she needs rolling in a carpet and lobbing off a bridge- I wouldn't go that far though.
Mum has it in her head that she can become a teaching assistant but that bloody wrong'en has put that idea in her head. It isn't that I think mum would make a great teacher, it's just, with the family and that she will struggle.
I've taken dad to the pub yesterday and I offered him a pint which he turned down straight away. He says that he wants to get himself back on track, looking for a job. I couldn't believe I was actually hearing it from him and I believe him. He seems to be calmer in the house and even takes James and his friends to play football down the park. I told him how proud I was, happy he was looking for a job and that I loved to spend time with him. I can't remember the last time we went out by ourselves.
