After Lissa was left alone she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had grown to like these men so she didn't really mind the company but it still wasn't easy to keep smiling when all she wanted to do was scream so it was nice to get to be alone for a change.
She didn't want to keep lying for too long because she might fall asleep and that wasn't a desirable outcome so she got up and took out her notebooks. She didn't really feel like writing but it was something to pass the time and who knows, maybe she would get something good out of herself.
Then she noticed that she didn't have a pen and cursed for forgetting to take her favourites with her. She left the bedroom to look for one. She scanned the living room with her eyes and tried to think where the pens would be kept. She quite liked the flat. It had that old and stabile kind of feeling. The light came through the window but the room was still dusky in the right way. Lissa took in the details of the flat and found it personal and cosy. It was pretty messy but to her, it was just refreshing. Her house had always been so spotless and in order that it had almost been clinical. None of it had felt real or comfortable, it hadn't had the feeling of home. In her old house, it was like all the personality had been wiped off, but not in here. In here it was all over the place, literally.
She went to the desk but there weren't any pens to be seen. She stopped at the drawers. She knew it was rude to go through other people's things but if she just looked for a pen it wasn't bad, right? She hesitated for a second but opened one drawer. There weren't any pens so she closed it swiftly and opened another and closed that too. When she opened the third drawer something caught her eye. There were photographs and Lissa had taken them in her hand before reason told her not to.
There were pictures of John and Sherlock, Lestrade was in some of them too, a couple of them were from John and Mary's wedding, there was a brunette woman Lissa didn't recognise with them in one of them. One photograph caught her eye specifically. There was a curly-haired young boy with a pirate hat and an older bigger boy on a beach. Lissa smiled at the picture because she knew it must be Sherlock as a kid. He looked like any normal kid, happy and innocent, and that pirate hat topped off the whole thing. Lissa thought it was really cute and the whole picture was really sweet. She put the pictures back in the drawer and continued to search for the pencil. There were some files on the next drawer but she knew not to touch them. Finally, she opened a drawer that contained pencils and she happily took one and left the desk.
However, before she got far Mrs Hudson came to the living room with a tray.
'There you are! I made something to eat for us since the boys are out.'
'Oh, that's really nice of you. You didn't have to.'
'Nonsense, who else is going to feed you? Not those two anyway, they can barely take care of themselves.'
Lissa chuckled amusedly at the old lady. She liked the woman, she was a strong character but still very gentle and kind.
'Come on now, the food will be cold. I made chicken soup, it makes everything better.' Mrs Hudson went to the kitchen with the tray and set it on the table. Lissa followed the woman to the kitchen table and sat down. Mrs Hudson set a plate of soup in front of her and sat down with one herself.
'I really do hope you have liked it here. Don't mind Sherlock, he seems very harsh but he doesn't mean any harm.'
'It has been nice, thank you. And yes, Sherlock is a handful, but nothing I can't handle.' Lissa smirked and cocked her head.
'That's the attitude! It's so nice to have some female company around here. Mary comes every now and then, she's a lovely one that girl, but she isn't around that much.'
'Well, I'm just glad I'm not a nuisance.' Lissa smiled warmly at the old woman. 'But I don't know how long I'll be staying. I don't want to just live off someone else and I have to come up with a long-term solution.'
'Of course you're not a nuisance! You stay as long as you like! Don't worry about that. I know life can throw you around and if I can help someone with that I'll do just that. You know, we're actually looking for a flatmate for Sherlock, he won't admit it but I believe he has been pretty lonely after John left.'
'Thank you for the offer, it's very kind, but I don't think I can afford it.' Lissa hadn't expected this from the woman and didn't know how to turn down the offer nicely.
'Sweetie, we'll figure something out. You don't have to say anything yet, just think about it.' Mrs Hudson smiled sweetly and Lissa nodded with a small smile.
'You have barely touched your food, dear.'
'Oh, sorry. I guess I'm not that hungry.' Lissa took a spoonful and forced it down.
'I understand, really. I'm not offended and I don't mean to be rude but you just look like you need it.'
Lissa chuckled at that. 'I'm not offended either.'
Mrs Hudson smiled at the girl and changed the subject. They had a nice chat and tea afterwards. After that Mrs Hudson left with the tray and reminded her to think about her offer. Lissa was just finishing with the dishes when John and Sherlock came back.
'Lissa, hi! Everything good?' John greeted Lissa immediately. Sherlock, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes when he entered the living room and started to scan the space with his eyes.
'Hi! Yeah, everything's alright. Mrs Hudson came with some food, she left some on the fridge.'
'Great.' John smiled at the girl but after that he looked unsure and he rubbed his neck awkwardly.
'What is it?' Lissa asked immediately when she saw the change in the man.
John sighed. 'I know it's not very late yet, but… I…'
Realisation hit Lissa and she smiled at John. 'John, go home. You owe me nothing.'
'Are you sure?' John looked at the girl cautiously.
'Of course, I'll be fine. Just go to your wife, you have done so much already. You have your own life and you don't have to drop everything just because I'm a mess.'
John was a bit taken aback by Lissa's words but she was grinning so he smiled back at her and relaxed.
'Okay then. I'm going. I'll see you soon though! Goodbye!'
'Goodbye!'
'Bye, John!' Sherlock shouted after him from the armchair he had sat on. When John was gone he immediately lifted his gaze to Lissa and narrowed his eyes at her. He looked menacing and Lissa was instantly nervous and uneasy. She felt so small under that piercing gaze. She was paralyzed and couldn't do anything but just stand there waiting for whatever Sherlock was going to do. It felt like an eternity before he spoke.
'You've been snooping.'
'I didn't! I… was looking for a pen and I… ended up snooping around. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to! I didn't go through your things I just looked for the pen! Well, I might've looked through the photographs but nothing else, I swear!' Lissa was nervous and genuinely apologetic, she seemed notably distressed about the situation.
Sherlock didn't say anything or give out any reaction. His eyes were cold and emotionless. He got up and took a step toward the girl who took a hurried step back. 'I really am sorry.'
Lissa lowered her gaze to the ground and missed how Sherlock furrowed in confusion. 'Why are you so nervous?'
Lissa didn't look up or answer. She clenched her fists nervously. Sherlock made a sudden movement and the girl flinched abruptly.
'Lissa, you know I'm not going to hurt you. Everything is fine.' Sherlock made sure to keep his voice calm and steady.
Lissa whipped her head up. 'You're not mad?'
'No, I don't care really.'
'What?! You looked like you were going to flip!'
'Flip? I wasn't going to… You were scared that I was going to start yelling?'
'I wasn't scared!' Lissa was now defensive and Sherlock could see that she was trying to convince herself as much as him.
'Yes, you were.'
'Well, you saw how that guy at the station went, I don't want to experience that.'
'So that's all you're scared of? That I'll say mean things?'
'Should I be scared of something else then?' Lissa raised an eyebrow.
'No, it's just… Whatever. I won't be harsh if you don't behave idiotically.'
'Guess I'll just try to avoid that then.' Lissa gave Sherlock a sarcastic smile and took the pen and notebook and sat on an armchair.
'Good.' Sherlock answered seriously, ignoring the sarcasm and went to his desk and opened the laptop on it.
Lissa tried to focus on writing something but she wasn't obviously focusing on anything. She kept glancing at Sherlock uncomfortably and furrowing to herself but worst was all the sighing. It annoyed Sherlock to the end and it didn't take long until he snapped.
'What?!'
'What?' Lissa asked confused.
'Stop that, it's annoying.'
'But I didn't do anything.'
'Yet still, you managed it.'
Lissa didn't say anything. She cocked her eyebrows in a questioning manner.
'Something's bothering you and it's painfully obvious.'
'It's nothing.'
'Get it over with or get out. Just let me concentrate.'
'Fine.' Lissa said sharply and got up. She was out of the room in seconds but it didn't take long before she came out of the bedroom again. She was passing the living room with a coat.
'What do you think you are doing?' Sherlock asked like he had just caught her doing something bad.
'I'm going out.' Lissa didn't look at Sherlock or stop walking.
'No.'
'Yes.' Lissa finally stopped and turned to Sherlock.
'I don't think that's a good idea.'
'I'm not going to Mordor I'm just getting some fresh air.'
Sherlock was going to say something but Lissa didn't let him even start. 'I'm going.' Then she disappeared down the stairs.
When Lissa was out of the door she let out a deep breath. She hadn't been sure if Sherlock would let her go but she had succeeded. The fresh air felt amazing after being cooped up inside for days. It was great to be out and move a little although her wounds hadn't healed properly yet but that didn't slow her down. She wandered around without an actual destination and enjoyed taking her time in London's streets.
She ended up in a park where she sat down on a bench. She looked at all the people rushing past her. She used to be like them. She used to be so busy with her studies and writing. In a way, it was peaceful to be outside of it all and she didn't even know if she wanted her old life back. She had managed but it was just that, it hadn't been easy or enjoyable. She had desperately hung on to everything she had had and just survived day after another. Now it was all gone and in a way, it was liberating. She didn't have anything to hang on to anymore so she was free to let go entirely. She felt tempted to end her misery now that no one would be able to stop her but she thought of John and she had wordlessly promised to Sherlock that she would be back. She hated that she felt so responsible for them and that guilt was the only thing stopping her.
Lissa didn't look at the people anymore. She was deep in her own thoughts when she heard a voice talking to her.
'You need to come back now.'
Lissa raised her head and saw Sherlock standing in front of her in his long coat. She was surprised to see him although maybe she shouldn't have been.
'What? Why?'
'Moriarty is coming.'
