A/N- I seem to do all of my best work when I'm feeling particularly sleep deprived. Curse you insomnia! *shakes fist wildly into the air while a vicious string of curses, both known and made up fall from my mouth.*

At least, I think my best work comes when I'm tired. I don't know you guys let me know. Alright I'll stop my rambling now. Like... right now.

Chapter 12

Three days. Three days of no sleep. Three days of laying in bed, feeling his body wasting away. Three days of next to no contact with the outside world. Three days with no Hannah standing at his side, to be his beacon while the rest of the world burned around him.

The truth was, Clay was terrified. He hadn't slept at all since that first night, afraid that the nightmares would return to destroy him. He only fell asleep once, and the horrors came back to him and his mother had been forced to wake him up while he screamed and begged for mercy into his pillow.

He had been unable to find solace in Hannah, because his parents had taken his phone from him for the duration of his suspension and Clay hated them for it. He needed her, more than anything else. He needed to hear her soft voice comforting him while she ran her fingers through his hair in that way Clay absolutely loved. He needed her hugs, to hold her in his arms, her kisses that reminded Clay that everything would be alright.

His parents had talked about putting Clay back on the medication he used as a child, but he adamantly refused. Clay despised how the drugs made him sluggish, like he was drunk minus the headaches in the morning. All he needed was Hannah, and he would be fine.

The day he was to go back to school, Clay took care to clean himself up. He looked in the mirror, and honestly didn't like what he saw. He had lost a bit of weight, and there were dark circles under his eyes, which were so bloodshot he looked like a vampire. His hair was messy and stuck up in all directions, no longer looking like the helmet hair he so frequently bore. Clay briefly considered using makeup to hide the dark circles, but his honor and manliness refused to allow him to do so.

So Clay sighed heavily and finished washing up before heading downstairs, grabbed his bag and went out the door, ignoring the breakfast laid out for him.

Clay dawdled all the way to school, having left his bike back home. He couldn't tell you what he did on the way there, his mind having run on autopilot the whole way there. He ignored the strange looks people gave him as he walked into the school grounds and the whisperings that followed him, it didn't matter to him anyway.

"He punched Justin Foley."

"I heard he full on smashed his head in."

"I was there, and it was pretty close to that."

"Who would have thought quiet guy Clay Jensen was a fighter."

He spotted Hannah first, laughing amongst the group of friends that Clay had come to care about deeply. Clay didn't know whether to go over to them or keep walking, and in the dilemma that warred in his mind he froze in place.

Hannah saw him then, and her face hardened with a steely look in her eyes as she stands up from the bench she was sitting on. She made a beeline straight for Clay, and he was suddenly afraid of what the girl might do to him.

The look on Hannah's face faltered as she got closer to Clay, then became full blown worry as her anger seemed to completely vanish. No doubt she could see how terrible he looked, he was practically an extra for the walking dead.

"What the hell?" said Hannah once she stood directly in front of Clay, a textbook length apart from him. She raised a hand and gently pressed it against his cheek before asking, "What happened to you?"

"It's nothing," said Clay, leaning into her touch as his own hand closed around hers.

"Don't bullshit me Jensen," warned Hannah, her face hardening again, though that fear and concern never left her eyes.

Clay sighed and said, "It's nothing bad. Just bad dreams is all."

"Those must be some pretty awful dreams if they keep you up at night," remarked Hannah.

Oh, you have no idea, Clay thought bitterly. "I guess."

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Hannah. "We can always ditch if you want."

Clay smirked, though it felt rather forced considering how tired he was feeling. "I don't think it would be a good idea for me to ditch when I've only just been allowed back in," he joked.

"True. I do want to spend some alone time with you though," said Hannah. "Wait, that reminds me." Then punched him hard on the arm and Clay yelped in shock and pain.

"What the hell Han!" he yelled while Hannah continued to rain down blows to his arm. He shrunk back from his girlfriend's fury, desperately trying to protect himself.

"Why-" smack!

"Ow!

"-the-" smack!

"Hannah!"

"-hell-" smack!

"Be reasonable woman!"

"-didn't-" smack!

"This is needlessly complicated-"

"-you-" smack!

"Will you let me-"

"CALL ME!" shouted Hannah, letting off one more punch to Clay's now-numb shoulder.

"I was grounded!" defended Clay quickly before Hannah could punch him again. "My parents took my phone off me so I couldn't call or text you!"

Hannah opened her mouth to retort but stopped. "Really?" she said disbelievingly. "Then why didn't you just say so?"

"You were too busy punching me!" snapped Clay, rubbing feeling back into his arm.

Hannah's eyes widened and she grinned sheepishly, her face turning red. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Clay smiled warmly at Hannah, but in truth their little scuffle had almost completely drain him of energy. The lack of sleep had hit him harder than he originally thought.

Hannah seemed to sense his fatigue as well and guided him over to where everyone else was sitting. They all fell silent at their arrival, and some looked shocked at Clay's appearance.

"Dude, what happened to you?" asked Alex.

Clay didn't say anything as he sat down, and Hannah linked her arm through his, drawing circles on his back with her other hand. The feeling on his back was oddly soothing, and he closed his eyes, sighing in content.

Conversation started back up around him, and Clay probably would have fallen asleep if he hadn't been paying attention to the conversation.

"When does it say for us to go there?" asked Sheri.

"End of November," answered Alex.

"Have you gotten your's yet?" said Tony.

"Nope, but I reckon it might come today," said Zach.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," said Hannah from beside Clay, feeling her body vibrate as she spoke because he was leaning against her.

"Hannah it's not your fault. We knew this would happen eventually," said Tony consolingly.

"Yeah girl, we're gonna help you get through this," added Sheri.

"This court case might fuck us all up though," insisted Hannah.

Clay's head snapped up. "Huh?" he said, blinking stupidly.

"Were you not paying attention?" said Zach.

Clay continued to stare at everyone as he struggled to put everything together, but for some reason he couldn't come up with anything.

Hannah sighed loudly and stood up. "That's it. We're going for a drive," she said in an annoyed voice.

"But Hannah," groaned Clay as he was dragged up to his feet by the girl.

"No buts. You're coming home and having a nice long nap," snapped Hannah. When Clay stumbled over his own feet, she added, "See? You can't even stand up properly."

Clay stopped protesting, and allowed himself to be dragged to Hannah's car, where she practically shoved him into the front passenger seat. He leant back against the seat and closed his eyes while Hannah hopped in, started the car and drove out of the school parking lot.

Clay tried his best to fall asleep in the car, but the constant bouncing of the car kept jostling him around, preventing him from getting comfortable, plus he was too scared to fall asleep, just in case the nightmares came back and Hannah had to witness for herself just what happens to him. So instead, he looked out of the window and tried to take all the sights in, letting himself daydream of a better time before attempted suicides, lawsuits and night terrors.

He thought he saw what looked like Tyler Down standing in an alleyway talking to somebody, but Clay wasn't so sure, not quite trusting his muddled brain to make sense of anything. So he ignored it and turned his head to stare at Hannah instead. He noticed how she tended to frown and stick her lips out slightly when she was focussed on something, and she would always unconsciously tuck a nonexistent strand of hair behind her ear.

When Hannah caught Clay staring at her, she raised an eyebrow, yet her cheeks became tinged with pink. Words couldn't properly describe what Clay felt for the girl. She was the sun, the light that kept the darkness at bay. He longed to see her smile, because it washed away all the worries and fear that lurked behind her pale blue eyes. Right now, that worry shone through, worry for Clay's wellbeing.

Hannah pulled her car into her home's driveway, much to Clay's surprise. Turning the car off, Hannah jumped out of the car and helped Clay out. Clay was briefly reminded of when Tony kicked down the front door as Hannah led him inside and up the stairs, then into her room.

"What- why are we at your place?" mumbled Clay.

"Because my house is closer to school and you look ready to drop dead," answered Hannah as she pulled back her bed's blankets. She then gently helped Clay down into the bed and took his shoes and bag off.

"Won't your parents be home soon?" said Clay nervously.

"Please Clay. School's barely even started and my parents are working till late," scoffed Hannah.

"I never thought you'd be one to take advantage of me in a moment of weakness. Or when your parents aren't home," joked Clay, smirking slightly.

"Yeah, nah. Maybe another time," laughed Hannah while her cheeks burned something fierce.

She gently pushed Clay down till his head was resting on the pillows, tucking him in like his mother used to do when he was a small boy. Hannah then curled up behind him as he turned to lay on his side and began running her fingers through his hair, humming to herself. Clay was too tired to try to figure out what song she was humming, only that her voice was sweet and pleasant to listen to.

"Clay?" said Hannah, ceasing her humming.

"Hm?" mumbled Clay, his eyes drifting shut.

"What are you dreaming about that's got you so freaked out?"

Clay stiffened at the question. Did he dare tell her? It didn't seem right to place his burdens on Hannah's shoulders. Yet for some reason, his mouth opened up of its own accord and he said, "The night I found you."

He felt Hannah's body stiffen against his back.

"I also dream of being too late, and you, your parents, everyone is blaming me for being too late."

Wow, being sleep-deprived really me a chatty person, thought Clay.

He felt something wet fall onto his cheek, and when Clay turned his body around to face Hannah he saw that she was crying silently.

"Oh Clay, I'm so sorry," she cried as she tried to wipe the tears away.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's not your fault," whispered Clay as his hand reached up to stroke Hannah's cheek. "I don't blame you for my problems. I've always had this sort of thing happen to me."

"Nightmares?" said Hannah incredulously.

Clay nodded his head. "When I was a kid, I used to have night terrors all the time and I'd get major anxiety issues and panic attacks. It got so bad that Mom and Dad had to put me on medication to stop it. I haven't had any attacks for a couple years now, not since before I met you."

"And now all this is bringing it back?" asked Hannah.

"I'm not sure," said Clay honestly. "Probably though. And I don't blame you for it at all. I'd probably be ten times worse if you had died," he added when Hannah opened her mouth to argue.

"But Clay-" protested Hannah weakly.

"I don't want to hear it," said Clay quickly. "I just want to sleep now. Can you hold me?" He knew he sounded pathetic, having to ask his girlfriend for comfort but he didn't know what else to do.

Thankfully, Hannah agreed silently and snuggled up closer to Clay until their noses were brushing gently against one another's. Hannah's breath blowing gently on Clay's face sent warm tingles through his body, and her beautiful blue eyes were the last thing he remembered before sleep claimed him.

oOoOoOo

"Hannah! We're home!" called out Mrs Baker.

Hannah quickly hopped out of bed, being careful to not jostle Clay awake as she did so and crept out of her room. When she saw her parents she put a finger over her mouth to quiet their chattering and pointed upstairs to her room.

Her parents gave her a queer look and followed Hannah into her room, where they saw Clay snoring quietly on her bed.

"Um, care to tell me what's going on?" asked Mr Baker.

"I brought Clay here because he hadn't been sleeping well," said Hannah. "He suffers from night terrors and the stress over everything is bringing them back."

"You didn't-" began Mrs Baker.

"Mom no!" Hannah interrupted quickly, feeling her face heat up furiously. "I swear we did nothing like that. Clay practically fainted as soon as his head his the bed and he's been out ever since." she looked at him worriedly and added "I think this is the first proper sleep he's had in days."

Mr Baker didn't seem too bothered by it and shrugged, though Mrs Baker still looked skeptical. "Does his parents know?" she asked.

"Yeah. I sent his mom a text on Clay's phone explaining the situation. She didn't seem to mind since he was actually sleeping," she said while nodding her head.

Mrs Baker pursed her lips but conceded the point. "Okay. If he needs to stay the night he can, but no funny business," she warned as her eyes narrowed at Hannah.

Hannah rolled her eyes. "I know I know. But come on, this is Clay we're talking about. The perfect gentleman? I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to have sex unless we were married," she joked, and her parents chuckled quietly at that then let her and Clay be after that.

Hannah tip toed back into her room, closing the door behind her and pressed herself against Clay's back. Clay let out a deep sigh of contentment, as if he sensed Hannah's presence, and she couldn't help but marvel at how well they fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle.

How could someone so pure and sweet be forced to live such a fate. Surely Clay deserved somebody better than Hannah, who felt so broken and useless all the time. Yet Clay was there to put her back together, who treated her as someone of worth and made her feel loved. And now he was the one suffering, who was broken and beaten down so low in a way only Hannah could understand. So she swore right then and there that she would exactly to help Clay the same way he had helped her.

Clay grunted and rolled over to his other side then, his eyes opening blearily. He smiled widely when his gaze fell upon Hannah, which set her heart racing in a way only Clay could make happen.

"Morning," he yawned.

"You mean evening," said Hannah amusedly.

Clay frowned in confusion and he looked over Hannah's head at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, which read five-thirty pm. His eyes widened in shock and his face turned read, while Hannah laughed at his discomfort.

"Oh shit!" he swore, and he struggled to sit up but Hannah pushed him back down.

"Han, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" started Clay, but he was silenced when Hannah put a finger to his lips.

"Shhh, it's fine," said Hannah. "You needed to sleep and honestly, you don't look like you've been in Azkaban so much."

Hannah was being honest. She could already see the wonders that a good rest did to Clay. The dark circles under his eyes had faded some and he didn't look so pale, and his eyes had reignited with life that had been missing before.

"I still look adorable?" asked Clay hopefully and Hannah laughed.

"In a pathetic, 'I-feel-sorry-for-you' kinda way," said Hannah.

"Good. I wouldn't want it any other way," sighed Clay as he turned to lay on his back. "Are your parents home?"

"Yeah. They got here not too long ago," said Hannah.

"Do they know I'm here?"

"Yep." At Clay's stunned look she elaborated. "I explained everything to them, and your mom knows as well."

Clay breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good," he chuckled, "I was worried your parents would kick me out if they found me sleeping in your bed."

Hannah said nothing, but she propped her elbow up to rest her head atop of to stare at Clay. He turned his head to stare at her and Hannah felt her breath hitch in her throat at the way he was looking at her. She couldn't resist (not that she wanted to) and leaned down for a kiss, which Clay responded to eagerly.

It started off chaste, but the kiss quickly became more heated and soon their tongues had joined the fray, dancing together in a battle fueled by love and lust. Hannah felt a heat gather at the pit of her stomach as Clay took control and gently pushed her down so that he was practically laying on top of her.

They broke apart for air, breathing heavily and Hannah stared into Clay's eyes, which had become darkened with desire for her, and no doubt the look on his face was mirrored on her own.

"Clay..." Hannah breathed heavily.

"Yeah?" said Clay.

"I want you," she replied, and she used her hand hand to guide his down her leg, where it gripped her thigh in a way that made Hannah gasp loudly.

Clay frowned though and shook his head, removing her hand from her thigh.

"Not today," he said quietly, and Hannah couldn't help but feel disappointed and a little ashamed.

"Why not?" she asked.

"It just doesn't feel right," he said, and to Hannah he sounded almost as disappointed as she felt.

"Did I do something wrong?" she choked out, silently cursing herself for feeling so emotional. It felt like a reminder of all the guys who only wanted her for her body, and now that she was offering herself to someone she loved, it felt like a rejection. Like she wasn't good enough.

"What? No!" Clay said quickly and perhaps a little too loudly. "Hannah, I want this as much as you, but it doesn't feel like the right time."

"Why not?" demanded Hannah angrily.

"Well for one thing, your parents are home and would probably hear us," said Clay seriously.

Oh. Hannah had forgotten about that completely. "Oh shit you're right," she groaned, clapping a hand over her forehead in embarrassment while Clay chuckled.

"We don't have to rush this either," said Clay then, "besides, we're still a little early in our relationship for that sort of thing."

"It feels like it's been longer though, doesn't it?" said Hannah.

"Yeah," agreed Clay. "But there's no one I'd rather be with than you."

"Me too," said Hannah. And she meant it. She was happy to spend the rest of her life with Clay.

A/N- Clay's strange behaviour and sluggishness and openness is based off something that happened to me a few months ago. I won 100 dollars to try to stay awake for as long as possible, along with one of my friends and we stayed awake for nearly three whole days. Whatever you do, DON'T. EVER. DO. IT. No matter the reward.