12) Cater to you
Joining Varia was probably the smartest thing she'd ever done. She had to beg for it, but so what? In the end, Mira got when she wanted and more—a family with the loudmouthed swordsman who took the title of 'best friend', the gay necrophiliac who came close to being a girl friend, the murderous prince whom she loved in a strange brotherly way, the adorable money-minded arcobaleno, the umbrella-obsessed hitman with the strange facial hair, the hunk of metal that stands in one corner, and to top it all off, the alcoholic boss with a knack for throwing whatever he could get his hands on. Dearly beloved Xanxus.
Mira walked the halls of her new home, also known as the Varia headquarters. She passed by the kitchen when the double doors flew open and would have hit her hadn't she moved. Out came the chef and his meager staff, cowering in fear as they tried to shield themselves with random cooking equipment. Mira watched the odd spectacle in front her, thinking, What the hell?!
Her question was answered when a lone knife whistled through the air and impaled itself on the wall, catching the chef's hat in the process. Mira exhaled sharply, rubbing her temples in sheer aggravation. Note to self: get Bel a new hobby. "Bel, get your royal ass out here right now!" she yelled, folding her arms across her chest, "and take those damn knives with you!"
At the sound the demented prince's signature cackling, he pranced out of the kitchen twirling one of his weapons around with a morbid grin on his face. "What does my favorite worthless commoner request of me?" he sneered.
She fought down the urge to slug him. Chill out, girl, he's just a kid. A kid obsessed with knives. Must be the inbreeding in his blood. "Honestly, can't you find someone else to use as a human dart board? "
"How about you?"
The prince cackled, brandishing a floating ring of knives. With a flick of his hand, he sent them flying towards her, only to be stopped at half and arm's length as she froze them.
With the sudden drop in temperature, the chef let out a girlish scream and threw down his hat. "That's it! I quit!"
"Now, hold on a second—"
The chef ran for dear life, his staff following in his footsteps. "Are you fucking happy now?" Mira yelled. "That was our seventh chef in two months, and you just made him leave! It's almost breakfast, dammit!"
The prince snickered as he turned his back on her. "Not my problem".
"Why, you little bas—"
She was just about to lunge for the prince's neck when a pair of string arms wrapped around her waist, swinging her around and away from her intended victim. "Cupcake, don't you think it's too early to start killing? We haven't even had breakfast yet!" chirped a ridiculously high-pitched voice.
Mira twisted around and found herself face to face with the gay assassin. "I didn't start anything!" she yelled, squirming out of his grasp. "Bel's dickheaded-self just made the chef AND his staff leave!"
"Oh, dear, that can't be good. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"
"Yeah, no shit!" she retorted. "How the hell are we going to feed a group of insane assassins?"
Lussuria pursed his lips as he scratched his cheek absentmindedly. "Well, maybe I could just get breakfast started and…"
Mira's nose wrinkled at the idea. Gay necrophiliac cooking? I don't think so. "You know what, why don't you go stall for me? I'll make breakfast".
"You can cook?"
"Oh, you'd be surprised".
Where the fuck is the food? And where the hell is Mira?
Xanxus sat at the head of the table, glaring at the empty space in front of him. "Can any of you pieces of trash tell me where the fuck breakfast is?!"
"Our chef and his staff just quit this morning, Boss, but don't worry! Mira won't disappoint you!" chirped Lussuria.
His gaze darted to the empty seat next to Squalo. She had better not. As if on cue, the last of the recruits finally served breakfast. After the procession, Mira took her rightful place at the table. Other than her, Squalo, and Lussuria, nobody else touched their food. Xanxus glared venomously at the Panini in front of him. "Do you really expect me to eat this shit?" he asked.
Mira shrugged but kept on eating. "It's your gut, not mine".
Just then, Mammon started eating his blueberry pancakes. "I don't have to pay for this, do I?" he said, munching quietly on his food.
"Your choice, though I don't really care if you don't".
The arcobaleno shrugged his little shoulders and said, "Wasn't planning on it anyway".
Soon enough, everyone else ate—all except Xanxus. He gazed down at the panini in front of him and exhaled sharply. Ah, what the hell, he thought, taking a bite out of it. Mira rested her fork and watched him, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Xanxus kept on eating, looking everywhere else but her. Smug little bitch…she's enjoying this! "So do you plan on taking over the kitchen now?" he asked.
"That depends", she said, twirling her fork around. "Am I gonna get paid for it?"
"Since when did you need cash?" he growled, glaring at her. "I pay you enough, don't I?"
"Fine, I'll do it for free".
Mira was the first one to leave the table. "Where the hell are you going?" Xanxus asked.
She shrugged and said, "Out for a walk. Why, does leaving take some out of my paycheck, too?"
He scowled at her as he took a drink. In a blink of an eye, he chucked it at her. She ducked just in time, the glass narrowly missing her head by a centimeter. "Now that is coming out of your paycheck", he said.
Glaring at him, she turned on her stiletto heel and walked away, glass crunching under her boots as she left. She gets cheekier by the day, he thought, taking another bite out of his panini, although she's not that bad a cook.
Mira spent the last of the day drinking coffee and enjoying her favorite raspberry rhubarb pie as she watched the sun set. Just then, her phone vibrated in the pocket of her jacket. Pulling it out, she flipped it open. "Hey…what's up?"
"When are you coming home?" asked Squalo. "Where the hell are you, anyway?"
"I'm just chilling, don't worry. Why, do you miss me already?"
"No, dumbass, it's almost dinner and I'm fucking starving. Our dickhead of a boss is getting cranky, too".
Finishing the last of her pie, she replied, "We're his subordinates, not his babysitters. Did you see him chuck that glass at me this morning?"
"Trust me, that's nothing compared to the fucking bump on my head right now", he groaned. "It hurts like hell!"
"I bet. Did you ice it already?"
"Hell yeah, I did. But between the two of us, he doesn't throw those glasses at you as hard as he throws them at me".
"What's the difference? He still uses us for target practice, and the only reason I never get hit is because I always manage to duck, honey", she said, leaving the tip on the table. Taking her coffee with her, she set out for home. "So what do you want for dinner?"
Sorry it took so long to upload again. I was busy. :]
{penny} that sketch was pretty beast. too bad I can only do stick figures. :D
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