Chapter Twelve

"I really appreciate you doing this for me again, Doc," Jack said while he walked with him and Alan down the TARDIS corridors. "Especially since the last run for parts ended badly for us."

"Eh, we've got nothing better to do at the moment," the Doctor said, shrugging. "I can make a quick trip for you."

"Well, I appreciate it," Jack said.

As they neared the kitchen they suddenly smelled several pleasing aromas. Jack took a big whiff.

"What is going on?" he said. "Someone's cooking a feast, methinks."

The Doctor glanced at Alan. They smiled and the three of them headed towards the kitchen. As they neared the room, they suddenly heard music floating down the corridor while the women sang along to it. The three men strolled happily towards the kitchen following the scents and sounds. They paused at the doorway and noticed the six women were busying themselves cooking food while the Backstreet Boys played over their heads. All the women except Jenny were singing.

"You are…my fire, the one desire," they all sang loudly. "Believe…when I say, I want it that way."

The three men snickered and swayed back and forth while they sang. Rose closed the fridge door and noticed them.

"Don't look now, girls. We've got company," she said.

They all looked at them.

"We couldn't help but come in here with all the good smells and the singing coming from here," the Doctor said.

"Well, it was meant to be a surprise for all of you," Awinita said.

"Surprise? In what way?" Alan said.

"We're cooking you food," Rain said, stirring something in a pot. "Awinita had her Backstreet Boys CD and we put that on and started singing to it."

"You're cooking us food?" Jack said.

"Yup," they all said in unison.

The Doctor grinned at them.

"See, our family loves us to bits," he said. "They just slave away over hot stoves and ovens making us food."

"Yup, they're a kind, loving family," Alan said. "So what are you making for us and our large, eager stomachs?"

"Well, this was my idea at first," Rain said. "See, I was thinking that I've made Alan Navajo tacos before but not my husband and I was gonna make him some."

Alan let out a gasp and ran to her.

"Are you making me some as well? Please, please, please say you are!" he said while they laughed.

"Well, I couldn't make him some and leave you out because I know you'd make a huge fuss," Rain said.

She grunted and giggled when Alan squeezed her tight.

"I and my belly thank you," he said to her.

She patted his cheek.

"So anyway," she said over his shoulder. "I told Awinita and she said, well, he's never had my grape dumplings so…"

"Grape dumplings!" Alan yelled. "Oh! Yes!"

Awinita laughed.

"Grape dumplings?" Jack said.

"Dumplings that are cooked in grape juice. Old traditional Cherokee recipe," she said to him. "I made it for Alan and Rain and Rose but she was talking about making the Navajo tacos and I decided to make grape dumplings and Rose decided to make a roast and Donna's making bangers and mash and Mingxia's making dim sum and we just decided to turn this into a big cooking party."

"I need to live here full time again," Jack said. "I don't get food like this at the Hub."

The Doctor looked at Jenny.

"What about you? What are you making?" he said to her.

"I'm helping and they're teaching me. I don't have the slightest idea how to cook anything," she said.

"I can boil water," Jack said. "You need help with that?"

"No, we've got that covered," Rose said.

Rain walked over to her husband.

"You could be a dear and make couscous for us," she said. "You know, like you did before?"

Alan looked at him.

"When d'ya do that, Brother?"

The Doctor chuckled.

"When we in that hotel in China with the well stocked larder. We had burgers and chips and I contributed by making couscous since Rain had never had it."

"I didn't know you could cook, Doc."

"Well, I don't like to brag," he said, sniffing.

Rain giggled when Jack rolled his eyes. Rain walked back over to the stove and her husband followed her.

"Navajo tacos. I'm so chuffed. My wife is cooking for me," he said happily.

She grinned and kissed his cheek.

"Do we even have couscous?" the Doctor said, opening a cabinet door beside her.

There was a flash and a box appeared on the counter.

"You do now," Rose replied.

The Doctor smiled, grabbed a pot from the cabinet below him and went to put some water into it. Alan glanced at Jack.

"Boil water, eh?" he said to Jack. "Can you make anything else?"

"A mess, but that's a given," he said to him. "What about you?"

"I can make macaroni cheese, I suppose," he said, shrugging. "I'm not much for cooking either. TARDIS usually makes everything for us, so…"

He wandered over and found another pot while the TARDIS gave him the ingredients he needed. The two brothers smiled when the women went back to singing loudly to the Backstreet Boys. Both of them bounced along to the tempo while they put their pots on the burner. Jack wandered over and rummaged through the fridge. He found a jar of dill pickles and set it on the counter.

"There, there's my contribution," he said while they laughed.

"Wow, Jack, you just slaved away for hours to make that," Donna said.

"I know, I'm exhausted," Jack said, rubbing his forehead.

Rain walked over, opened it up and grabbed one.

"Ought-oh, the gherkin fiend strikes again," the Doctor said to Alan.

"Well, at least you didn't have to pay 1.99 for it," he replied.

Rain looked at her husband and feigned anger. She snapped off a bit of the pickle and popped it in his mouth. He chewed on it while he stirred his couscous. The men snickered when they listened to the song.

Get down, get down and move it all around.

"Sing it, boy band I really don't know all that well," the Doctor yelled out while they laughed.

He grinned at the women.

"I don't see any getting down and moving around from you lot," he said to them. "Aren't you supposed to do as they command?"

"Nah, we're too busy cooking your food to do that," Mingxia said.

Jack looked around.

"Where are the chow hounds you people own?" he said to them.

"They're in the park room playing. We put them in there so they wouldn't be underfoot," Rain said.

"Ah, good idea," Jack said. "Although they deserve some of this food too."

"Um, they'll get their dog food," Awinita said. "I have a feeling they'd have the runs all night if they ate all this."

"Yes, the last thing I want is dog feces in a big, brown trail down my corridors," the Doctor said.

"So, this whole food making thing, I assume you originally made this food while you were off on that worldwide trek of yours?"

Rain nodded.

"My dad has that campsite with the traditional hogans and my sister and I would make Navajo tacos for the guests as part of it. So when they came, that's what they got."

"And they are delicious," Alan said. "You'll love em, Jack. I'm so glad she thought of this because I miss eating them."

"Well, like I said, I never made them for my husband, so…" she said, shrugging. "But Awinita fixed us some traditional Cherokee food and Rose fixed British food when I started traveling with them and then we had Japanese and Chinese food."

"I told Mingxia she needed to fry up some crickets but Awinita wasn't too keen on that," Rose said to him.

"Ugh! Not on your life. Eating crickets one time was good enough for me," Awinita said.

Jack looked at the Doctor.

"And you made couscous."

"Yup, that was before I outed myself to everyone. Rain and I were rooming together and we had a lovely little meal. I didn't wanna stand there and let her do all the work so I cooked something I knew how to cook. You should have been there, Jack. That larder was well stocked with foods from different lands. You would have had a field day."

"The whole hotel was posh," Alan said. "Pete paid for us to stay there and bless him, we loved every minute of it especially since we'd been living out of Holiday Inns up until that time. But that's when we first met Mingxia."

"Yup, I was supposed to just be their guide through China and now I'm a Time Lady," she said to Jack.

"Hey, I was only meaning to swindle the Doctor and Rose and I ended up traveling with them so I know exactly how you feel."

"Swindle?" Mingxia said, looking at the Doctor. "Jack was trying to swindle you?"

Rose laughed while the Doctor rolled his eyes. While he stirred his food he quickly explained how they had met him. The other women, who had never heard the story, all glanced at each other and stared at Jack.

"Gee, Jack, that was really kind of you to try to con the Doctor and Rose like that," Rain said.

"I didn't know them," Jack said. "I thought they were time agents like me. I'm sorry; I know I wasn't exactly a nice person back then. I wouldn't do that now. Besides, Doc wasn't entirely truthful with me either."

"In what way, Jack?" the Doctor said.

"You let me believe you were time agents."

Alan snickered when his mouth dropped open. He pointed to Rose.

"Don't blame me, Harkness. You ran into her first. Rose should have said something to you but she was too busy getting swept off her feet on a barrage balloon for her to give you the facts."

"I was grateful to him, Doctor," Rose said. "He did save my life."

"Yeah, I saved her life," Jack said while the others laughed.

"Okay, well I'm sorry we didn't come right out and say we were time travelers, I was a bit busy trying to sort out the mess you created and prevent the whole world from becoming gas mask zombies!"

"And yet you found the time to dance with Rose in the middle of all of it."

Alan laughed when the Doctor threw his hands up.

"She…told me to dance!" he said, pointing at Rose. "I was trying to resonate concrete but apparently she wanted to compare my dancing skills to yours."

"She told you to dance. What does that mean? She had a gun pointed to your head and ordered you to dance or die?" Jack said.

"No…it's just that….she's very persuasive," the Doctor said, taking his pot off the burner.

Jack stared at Rose while she giggled.

"Yeah, she's a real hypnotist all right," Jack said, dryly. "I'm glad she wasn't around when we were imprisoned by the Master because between the two of them we might have been mindless zombies for that whole year."

"Oh…go….make toast or something," the Doctor said while everyone roared with laughter.

"Is that what Rain did? Were you resonating concrete when you decided to have the disco dance party the other day?" Jack said.

"No, I walked in on him dancing around the console," Rain said to him.

"Without your wife?" Jack said.

"I was happy, Jack. I am frequently happy now, you know. It was a good day so I decided to have a bit of fun while I was doing repairs. Rain walked in and she and I danced and then Alan came in and then Rose and it just took off and all of us started dancing."

"You know, Rain, I wish to God you'd been around when I traveled with him full time so I could have taken advantage of all this newfound happiness. I had to listen to him stomping up and down the corridors muttering under his breath about hating life."

I did not!" the Doctor said while Alan and Rose laughed. "I never muttered anything of the sort, Harkness!"

"Oh no? You were constantly moody and irritable. I seriously doubt Rain would have wanted to be around you if she'd know you then because I sure as hell didn't."

"Gee, Jack, you knew where the front door was, why didn't you use it then?" the Doctor said while he grabbed a bowl and spooned the couscous into it. "If I was so moody and irritable, why'd you stick around?"

"I liked Rose."

"Oh, I just bet you did," the Doctor said while Alan laughed harder. "Oh yeah, you couldn't get enough of her after the whole barrage balloon, eh? You were hoping we'd take you somewhere similar so you could go through your little romantic interlude again."

"No, it's just that Rose was a sweetheart and I was afraid you do something to her."

The Doctor's mouth dropped open while everyone laughed.

"Rose, at any time during my ninth life did you feel like you were in danger from me?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"I admit I was a bit hard to live with but I would never have hurt her so this whole I must protect her from me bit doesn't make any sense. Besides by the time you came along, I was much better than I was when I first met her. It's why I made her stay with Alan because I thought he was gonna be the same way and I wanted her to do for him what she did for me. If anything you were in a bigger danger than she was because half the time you drove me to distraction with your insane need to chat up anything that walked, crawl, swam or flew."

Jack flipped him off while they laughed.

"You and she had nothing to fear, Jack. You wanted to see me unbalanced; you should have been around during my sixth life. That was when I was unbalanced," he said. "I almost killed a companion then before she brought me back to my senses."

Jack frowned.

"You did?"

"Yes, I lost my mind briefly, strangled Peri and almost killed her before she stopped me. And thank God she stopped me because I don't think I could have lived with myself if I really had killed her. So count yourself lucky that you weren't around back then because you might have been next, Jack."

"You really did try to kill someone, Dad?"

He nodded his head.

"Yes, that regeneration didn't go too well and it affected my whole entire life. My regenerations don't tend to go too smoothly, to be honest. Rose was lucky. I ended up briefly ill when I regenerated into this body but that was all that happened. I'm just hoping Alan didn't inherit that when he became a full Time Lord."

"You and me both, Brother. But then again, a regeneration was forced on you and another went wrong after they gave you anesthetic and I'm sure that won't be repeated with me."

He smiled at his sister while she finished fixing the tacos. He embraced her from behind and inhaled deeply.

"Oh yeah, I'm so glad you did this," he said while she laughed.

"I'm happy to make these for you. I know how much you liked them."

"Indeed I do. And you are a wonderful cook. My tummy is growling just smelling the wonderful aroma."

The Doctor walked over, plucked a bit off meat off the tortilla and popped it in his mouth. He smacked his lips and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Jack followed suit and gave her another kiss on the cheek.

"I would watch that, Jack, if I were you," Alan said to him.

"Yes," the Doctor said with mock sternness. "Because if I find her on top of a barrage balloon with you, I will push you off, dig a hole and throw you in and I'll dig the hole so deeply it'll take you a million years to dig yourself back out!"

"First off, this is my sister so I wouldn't dream of romancing her and secondly, you couldn't dig that fast," Jack said.

"Shut up, Jack, Brother does like a challenge," Alan said when the Doctor raised his eyebrow.

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After they were finished, they sat the food on the counter and all of them sat around the dining room table eating.

"Like I said, I gotta get you guys off this TARDIS and into the Hub so you can cook this stuff every night," Jack said. "This is wonderful. I had no idea you had all these cooks onboard. If you don't mind, I wanna take some leftovers back when I leave. Although I might have to beat my team back with a stick if they get a taste of this stuff. You need to get together and make a cookbook or something and put all your recipes in it. You could make a fortune selling it around time and space."

"And watch as the rest of the universe gets to eat this wonderful cooking? Not a chance," the Doctor said. "These women are our little secret and I intend to keep it that way. Besides, I seriously doubt they'll wanna stay at Torchwood with you lot, not after roaming the universe with us."

"Nope," the women said, shaking their heads.

Alan and the Doctor gave Jack a smug grin. Jack shrugged.

"Eh, just as long as I get to come onboard occasionally and partake in moments like this, I won't grumble. Besides, you're right, we need to keep these little cooks to ourselves and perhaps chain them in here full time so they'll cook for us."

The Doctor glanced at Rain.

"I don't think that'll work with my wife, mate."

"Nor mine," Alan said while they laughed. "I think Rose would have something to say about being forced to be a cook and scullery maid for the rest of her life."

"Too right I would. I wouldn't be in here scrubbing pans while they were out having fun, I'd tie myself to my husband and make him take me along."

Alan smiled at Jack.

"See, I wouldn't be able to tell her to stay in here. She'd beat the living daylights outta me if I did."

"Nah, I love you too much to do that," Rose said, pinching his cheek.

"Not me," Rain said, eyeing the Doctor. "You chain me to a stove and I'll eat your remaining regenerations for dinner!"

They laughed when the Doctor's eyes widened.

"Yes, dear," he said patting her head while they laughed harder.

He gave her a kiss and smiled when Rain fed him a bit of taco.