Chapter 12

Hotch let himself into Autumn's house. She had given him a spare key, claiming it was for nights when he came to pick up Jack late. He had just put his foot on the bottom step of the stairs when he heard sobbing. Deep, body shaking sobs coming from the kitchen. Changing route, he snuck down the hall till he could see into the kitchen.

Sitting on one of the stools next to the kitchen island, was Autumn. She was dressed in a strapless little black cocktail dress and matching black stilettos. Next to her on the counter was her sheer shawl, and a shoe box.

Reaching her shaking hand into the box she pulled out a photo. From his place, Hotch couldn't make out the face of the person in the picture, but Autumn ran her index finger over it gently. "Oh, Jeremy," she sobbed, in a pained whisper. "I'm so sorry. I'm so confused. You're barely gone and-and I'm…I'm starting to fall in love with someone else. I'm so scared of what you'll think of me. You died so suddenly, we haven't had those talks. We thought we'd grow old together. There are still days when I wait for you walk in the door, even though I know you never will."

For a long moment, she was silent expect for her sobs, which she tried to hid behind her fist filled with tissues. When it began to settle some, she began speaking again. "I think-I think you would have liked Aaron. He's kind, and he's good…and he cares. He makes me laugh. He treats me and Sydney well. He treats her, in many ways, like his own." She paused, laying the photo down. "I miss you so much but I know you're not coming home. I pray that you'll forgive me."

Hotch had heard enough. He slipped into the room, announcing his presence with a knock on the wall just inside the room.

Autumn turned around suddenly, her eyes red from crying. He mascara had run some and her nose was bright red against her pale skin. "Aaron…"

"You don't need to feel guilty, Autumn." Hotch closed the distance between them cleaning her face of tears and mascara lines with his thumb. "Because if you really love someone you're willing to let them go, if it'll make them happy. He loved you, and he would want you to be happy." He stoked her cheek with his thumb. "I know because I want you to be happy."

Laughing behind her tears, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He returned her hug, saying, "So how about we drop the short ones off to Garcia so we can attempt a real date?"

She pulled away with a smile, wiping the last of the tears from her face. "Sounds like a plan."


Autumn waited in the SUV when Hotch ran the two kids, and their belongings up to Garcia's door. Garcia leaned around Hotch to wave at the redhead, who responded with a smile and a wave. After a few moments of polite conversation, Hotch returned to the SUV and pulled back into traffic.

Silence filled the vehicle, and a few miles down the road, Hotch glanced over at his passenger to find her asleep, her head resting against the glass of the window. He smiled turning attention back to the road, continuing along. A while later he pulled up in front of his own apartment, turning off the engine.

The sudden complete silence woke Autumn. She sat up, stretching as she glanced around. "Where are we?" she asked, sleepiness clinging to her voice.

"My apartment," Hotch said, "I wanted to show you something."

With a playful smile, she nodded, "Really? What did you want to show me?"

Smiling, he chuckled. "Come up?"

She nodded, and they both climbed out of the SUV. He led the way with her on his heels, up to his apartment. Opening the door, he disabled the alarm system and allowed her in with him. He flipped on the light as she shut the door.

On the table, a fancy dinner was laid out. A quaint and yet elegant Italian meal was completely set, including a bottle of wine chilling on the center of the table, between to candle holders.

Autumn laughed, with a shy smile. "It's beautiful."

"Wait till you taste it," he said, tossing his jacket aside, and pulling a box of matches from a nearby drawer. "Want to do the honors while I pour us a glass?"

She took the matches, walking to the table with him. "I can't-" She began as he turned the bottle, so the label was towards her. It wasn't real wine but rather sparkling white grape juice. Seeing the thought he put into the night, she smiled, leaning into him, placing a kiss on cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he answered, absently, as he poured them each a glass and she lit the twin candles.

The two sat down to a dinner, talking and laughing the hours away. Finally, many hours later, Autumn, holding her glass between two fingers, gazing at the sparkling liquid, said, "So what are your intentions, Mr. Hotchner?"

"Intentions," he repeated with a smile. "I have to have intentions?"

"Have to? No. But you do," she took a sip from her glass, watching him over the rim.

Slowly, he stood, moving around the table. Extending a hand, he pulled her up, bending down to kiss her lips gently. Her hands slid up his arms, down his chest to rest over his heart, as his hands came to rest on the small of her back.

When the need for air demanded they break, Hotch kept his forehead rested against hers, watching her. Her eyes were closed as she whispered, "Oh, is that all?"

"Do you…?" He asked, surprised to find he really feared her answer.

"Aaron…" she whispered, looking up at him through her lashes, with a smile playing at her lips. Her fingers tightened in his shirt, pulling him closer. "Stop over thinking things. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be here."

This seemed to be all he needed to hear, as he swept his arm under her knees, lifting her clean off the ground. She giggled, burying face her face in his neck, holding tight, as he walked them through the apartment to his bedroom.

Even in the pitch black that engulfed the room when the door shut behind them, Hotch was able to find the bed and lay her down without incident. She leaned back into the pillows, which smelled like him, feeling his weight tilt the bed as he knelt near her feet.

Holding out her arms, she felt him move up her body. He stopped long enough to give her a sizzling kiss before leaning away.

Suddenly light erupted in the room. Autumn winched at the sudden brightness, throwing up am arm to shied her eyes. Squinting, she saw Hotch watching her. "Light?"

Hotch smiled, moving so his weight was on his elbows. "Well," he said, kissing her cheek gently. "You may remember perfectly last time, but for me, it's more of a blur. So this time, I want to be slow." He kissed her other cheek. "And I want to see what I'm doing." Moving his head down, he kissed the skin exposed above the helm of her dress top.

Chuckling, she tilted her head back, allowing him better access to her neck. "Whatever you say…"