Author's note: Thank you all for the comments. The fastest way to get more chapters is to ask me to post more. I will never forget about an incomplete story, but I have a fully schedule a lot of times and tend to float from one fandom to another depending on what couple I want to write about. But I can easily be pulled back to a story by continued support. Thank you for waiting patiently for each chapter. I will try to post them quickly. Onward my ducklings.
I can't look at Papyrus while we are eating. I'm glad that there is food to distract me. His cooking has improved he hasn't tried to serve frozen pasta in weeks. Monsters don't really need to eat, and it's a good thing because if I had to survive off of his cooking we would both turn to dust. He's smiling the same way he always does. He really isn't going to bring up the note.
"You are staring intently at the food. Ah yes. Great master chef Papyrus has learned that cooking the pasta makes it taste even better."
"It's pretty good Pap. You're the coolest." It's true. He has his quirks, but he's made everything so easy for me. His smile fades for a moment, before he notices and smiles harder.
"Sans. If I am the coolest then you are the hottest." My shoulders tense and I take another bite to keep from talking. "You are an amazing older sister. You always protected me when we were children. When other monsters would bully me, you would stop them. If I had nightmares you would tell me bedtime stories and stay with me. When we didn't have a home you still made me feel safe. You were always gentle and understanding with me. Anything I can do to make you feel as safe as you made me feel, I will do."
"Uh… Thanks Pap." Neither of us are eating anymore. "Are you done eating, it's my turn to clean the kitchen."
"I am done. Thank you sister. Would you like help."
"No, you cooked, I can take care of it just go sit on the couch. It won't take me long." I can pretend nothing bothers me. I can pretend the note didn't happen. I've hid things before. This is no different. I can pretend that my pelvis doesn't practically vibrate when he's near. Just pretend that nothing has changed until I calm down.
The cleaning calms me down slightly. When I finish I poke my head into the living room. Papyrus is laying down on the couch obviously asleep. Maybe I have been keeping him up. He has always been an early riser, and a good portion of nights I wake him up. But unlike me, he doesn't go back to sleep in the mornings. He goes to training and then sentry duty. I won't wake him. I'll let him sleep here tonight and I'll sleep in my room. Even if it's just for one night. I'll be fine. And he could use the extra sleep. His bed really is too small for both of us. We have to be pressed against each other otherwise we can't fit. And right now that isn't good for my hormones. I've been on edge lately. I just need some quiet alone time to… see to basic needs.
He's asleep, and will probably stay asleep for a while. I can be quiet. And I can lock my door. And besides… there's the dress. I haven't looked at it. I wasn't prepared. When I look at it, it will be like… I accept that he knows that I like dressing this way, and that the note really happened. And then I have to make a choice about what to tell him. But. I want to look at the dress. Papyrus made it. He made it for me. He thought of me while he made it. He wanted me to be happy. That's all he ever wants.
I debate on kissing the top of his head. And I want to. But I don't want to wake him. Because he needs sleep. And because I'm not myself right now. I need time to figure out which self I need to be. How I need to be around him. I go upstairs quietly and go into my room. Before dinner I 'shortcuted' the dress and note to my room and left it on my bed. I almost can't bring myself to go into my own room. I'm excited. And nervous. It's just a dress. Calm down. You are a girl and it's just a dress. I stand outside of my door for a long length of time before I turn the knob and walk in. My room is a mess. Socks litter the floor and the bed is unmade. It's so much different from my brother's room. On the bed sitting innocently is the box.
