"Couldn't stay away huh?" Kate opened the door with a smile.

Rick held up a bag of takeaway. "Figured after a day of slaving away over whatever it was you were doing, you'd be starving."

Kate's smile turned to a grin and she grabbed at his arm, tugging him into her apartment. They hadn't even managed twenty-four hours apart. Which after three days holed up in his loft had seemed like a good idea. Seemed. The reality of a day without him was much stranger. She kept turning, expecting him to be there at her elbow as she worked. Rick gave a little yelp as she manhandled him across the threshold. She slammed the door shut, keeping a hand on him so he couldn't go far, and turned on him, stepping up on her tip toes to kiss him, deeply, thoroughly, oh god she had missed him.

Rick gave her a smile. "See I knew you missed me."

"That was to say thanks for the food," Kate countered, taking the bag from his grip and heading across to the island in the middle of her kitchen. She left it there, going to the cupboard for plates.

"Wow I'd love to see how you thank me when I actually do something that totally blows your mind."

Kate shot him a half smile over her shoulder; saw his raised eyebrow, his carefully staring eyes. "Who said food isn't totally mind blowing?"

"If a coffee earns me a smile," Rick went on, going to the bench and pulling the containers out of the plastic. "And food gets me a kiss..." he mused for a moment, taking a plate from Kate and nudging some of the cardboard containers towards her. "Then if I save your life," he fixed her with a pointed expression. She rolled her eyes. "Man, that would be worth so much..."

Kate nudged him with her hip, a small smile on her mouth. She did miss him. Yep. It had been less than twelve hours since she had left his loft that morning and come home to her place to work, but she had missed him. Paperwork was so hard to focus on when her apartment was so quiet. She was not only used to him being around all the time, but the buzz of the precinct. Of course, that might have just been because she wasn't used to trying to do any work at home and because doing paperwork in particular was always slightly tedious.

They divided rice and noodles, beef and pork, wontons and spring rolls. "Wine?"

"Yeah," Rick agreed. He scooped up her plate with his and took them to the couch. Kate poured two glasses of red and joined him. "So," he started conversationally once she was seated. He had his plate balanced on the pads of his fingers, spread wide. "What is it exactly that you banished me for?" He armed his other hand with a fork and looked around the room. It was tidy, like it always was.

"We already spent every waking minute of three days together," Kate gave him a knowing expression, reaching for her own plate. "Do you not think maybe some time apart would be a good idea?"

"No," Rick answered immediately. "See, when you're in a new relationship, you're required to spend at least a week in bed. And you totally cut that off four days early."

Kate laughed a little. "Well sorry. But. I do have things I actually have to do."

Rick swallowed his mouthful. "That uh, reminds me."

Kate looked over at him. He had a guilty aura to him. She would accuse him of stealing crime scene photos except, she didn't have a crime scene right now. "What?" She asked, with a slight smile, reaching for her wine glass.

"Remember how I said I was going to Europe?"

Kate almost choked on her drink. "What? No you didn't." Her face and tone went incredulous.

"Yeah ok so maybe I thought I had mentioned it and then I realised I haven't actually."

"When are you going to Europe?" Kate interrupted. So he had had things to do today too. It wasn't just her that needed to get back to the real world.

"Uh in a few days."

"What?" Her tone went up a few notches. She slid her plate onto the table.

Rick put his plate down, turned his body to her, his face entirely apologetic. "When it was all finalised we weren't exactly..."

Heavy silence fell between them.

"And then with last week," he made a 'phoar!' expression. "I forgot."

"Well how long are you going for?"

"Uh. Twelve days."

Kate's eyebrows went up again, her mouth fell open a little. "Twelve days. Are you kidding me?"

"No. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We were working our last case."

Kate got up, walked around the table.

"I'm coming back," Rick tried.

Kate turned on him. But she fish-mouthed for a moment and then finally locked her lips. The rolling surprise was confusing with anger and making her think he had done something wrong. When he actually hadn't. Except for maybe not telling her three days ago.

"It's for Frozen Heat," Rick went on as she took her seat again. He kept his distance, cautious.

Kate looked over at him. "A book tour?'

"Launch," Rick corrected carefully. "Type tour thing yeah. You know, I can get out of it." But the way he said that made her think if he did, it would cause all kinds of problems. Besides, if he wanted to get out of it, he would have just done so, instead of mentioning it to her first.

"No it's ok," she said. He looked surprised. "You have to work right?"

"Uh."

"And, like you said, this was all organised a long time ago. So..." She watched him for a moment. Really? Could she be mad at him when he gave her the innocent puppy dog eyes without even trying? When it looked like he was actually genuinely concerned that he had offended her in some way? That was not good. That was not a good place to be in...

"Twelve days," Kate went on. She shook the hair out of her face. "Over before you know it right?"

"Absolutely. Or," he paused, as if this were a new idea, though Kate suspected it was not. "You could come with me."

Kate gave a slight smile. "I can't."

"Or won't?"

Oh wow. He was still unsure about her. Damn it. Kate felt a funny turn of her stomach at the disappointment and hurt in his eyes.

"Can't," she reaffirmed. "Work."

"Probation right?"

"Yeah."

"Of course," he agreed amiably. "Would have been fun though. Nikki and Kate in Europe."

Kate brought a hand to Rick's cheek, smoothing her palm against the slight scratch of his jaw, petting her fingers through the hair at his neck, then down over his collarbone. She pressed a kiss against his mouth but with the angle, her ribs didn't let her linger for long. She gave him a smile. "Yeah that could have been fun. Following you around while you're trying to work."

Rick pursed his lips together like he did when he was imagining so much more. He had every right to; she would totally torture him. Kate brushed her thumb over his lips, sealing her presence there, then went back to her dinner. She picked up her plate again, forking her broccoli. Kate heard Rick suck in a breath, then reach for his own plate.

2.2

Rick toyed with her hand. He traced the edges of her fingers, then along her palm, down to her wrist, then up again. Kate watched his hand move, marvelling that something not entirely remarkable actually hid so much talent; books and bedroom. There were no lights on in her room but the glow of the city illuminated everything quite efficiently. Food, wine, Rick; a great evening. He turned his head to place a kiss against her hair, making her smile.

"I don't have to go," Rick murmured. "I can call it off."

Kate turned her left hand, the one resting between their bodies, and pinched his side lightly. He was testing her, asking her to ask him to stay. She couldn't. He flinched away from her, then turned quickly so he was leaning over her torso, pressing down. Kate laughed, but gasped for air; her ribs were still tender. Rick started to withdraw but she grabbed for him, keeping him against her, but not on her. "Stay."

"I'm scared I'm going to hurt you," he breathed, trying to withdraw a little further.

Kate petted his cheek. "Sometimes I'm scared I'm going to hurt you." She stared up at him, his eyes dark in the light, his skin an interesting shade of bubblegum streetlight. There was something between them and it was gaining confidence.

"Kate."

"What are you going to do next Rick?" Kate asked him instead.

"Uh?"

"This is the last Nikki Heat book right?" Kate went on quickly.

Rick gave a slight surprise blink. "Oh I hadn't thought of that," he breathed out. His eyes came back to Kate's and held them for a moment. "Guess I have to talk to my publisher and..." He gave a shrug.

"You're not bored with Nikki yet?"

"Never," he whispered fiercely and dropped his head to kiss her neck. Kate let him have more room, arching her head away. His lips and tongue sent little thrills through her. When he said that, she believed him.

2.2

Kate woke in the night. The curtains were still wide open and the light had not changed. It was not like the sun. It did not creep across the room to indicate a change in time. Rick was pressed against her side, solid and hot. She was sticky with a damp sweat. Kate eased herself out from underneath Rick's heavy form and slid to the edge of the bed. It was two-thirty seven. "Geeze," Kate sighed. Every night since... since Maddox she had woken. She didn't know if the two were related, the trauma and her insistence of waking up at the crack of barely tomorrow. She certainly wasn't waking in a panicked sweat. She knew what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder felt like. She didn't have it. Not again, not this time. But there was something, she felt funky. She felt unsettled, like the ground was wobbly and she was off balance.

But she wasn't ok because even afterward when they were lying in her bed, not talking, just being, she felt like something was wrong. It felt off. She felt a prickle of panic and tried to shut it down. It wasn't wrong, being with Rick. That was not the part that was not right. It was something else. She felt claustrophobic, stifled, like it was all of a sudden hard to breathe. Kate turned back to see Rick, sleeping on as if she hadn't been there at all. He was naked. Completely naked. And the sheet was twisted so it barely covered anything. Kate felt a stab of something in her stomach. Lust or love. What was the difference?

He loved her. He loved her so much. She felt it pouring out of him every moment they were together. Even when he was respecting her boundaries, giving her space; literally staying away when she asked him too, but also managing to not completely smother her when they were in the same room. Was work really the excuse she had for not going to Europe? It was a good one, legitimate and logical and real. Or was it that it felt like too much too soon?

She knew what she was getting in for when she made that choice. It was her mother's case or him. And she had picked him. She had chosen life. She wanted that. She wanted him. There were moments that were so genuinely unreal she wanted to hold on to them forever. But forever was a long time. And had she really thought it through before she had knocked on his door? She knew how he felt. But was she really sure of how she felt?

It was her. There was something wrong with her. She loved him and now she was freaking out about it? Maybe. That was not beyond the realm of possibility. But the thing was, she didn't want to be freaking out. She didn't want to start pushing him away. She wanted to lie naked with him all day and not care (a week in bed right?). She wanted him. She wanted it to be like it was before Maddox had abducted her.

Kate got up from the bed, went to the bathroom, studied that bruise in the mirror. It was blooming, probably close to done. They had got the Dragon, but Maddox was still out there and how much would he want her out of his own sense of vindictiveness? If she went to Europe would he follow her there? Now that put a squeeze of fear into Kate's gut. No, Kate shook her head. Maddox was in the wind. He wouldn't dare come back. He was good but he had also shown he had flaws. Suddenly, Kate wasn't so afraid of the big bad wolf.

Kate put the bathroom light out and went back to the bedroom. Rick had shifted onto his back, managing to take just enough of the sheet with him to remain modest. Kate gave a slight smile at the sight of him. He seemed huge in her bed (or was it just that there was a man in her bed?) and she wanted the feel of his skin beneath hers. She climbed on the mattress and moved his arm until he got the hint and lifted it for her. She shifted in against his bare chest, snuggling close. Oh crap that felt so good. Even the heavy weight of his arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly. "Smell good," he muttered.

Kate smiled against his skin. So did he. Amazingly good; all sleepiness and Castle.

"Where'd you go?"

"Nowhere."

"Kate," he murmured and drew her into a tighter hug, with both arms, turning his body into hers, injuries be damned, practically lifting her off the mattress. Kate relished it, clung onto him tightly, turned her face into his neck; she was surprised to find tears in her eyes. The thought of losing him, of pushing him away, of not having this, terrified her. She had no idea how much he really meant to her; she was still figuring it out (she was going to figure it out). Before, she had let everything else, everything else, eclipse what she felt for him. Until now. Now she was going to face it.

"Good night," Rick breathed.

"Night," Kate whispered back, her throat tight.

"Love you."

'I love you too.'