Chapter 12

Wednesday had been the last relatively quiet day until the formal grieving process was over. The funeral and Shiva would be hectic, filled with well meaning people offering comfort and support, too much food, and too many hands in a kitchen that was not their own. The rabbi had come and gone, gathering family anecdotes to further personalize the eulogy, and the funeral home had been by, delivering folding chairs, prayer books, and black yarmulkes (for the evening service). After dinner, they sat around the kitchen table in Sophie's and Max's house making small talk, reluctant to move, as if doing so would acknowledge tomorrow and what would occur.

Their quiet discussion was interrupted by the doorbell. Not expecting any visitors, Rachel's uncle Max answered the door. The unmistakable sound of Kurt Hummel's voice carried through to the kitchen, causing Rachel to practically bolt out of her seat and head toward the door. She arrived just in time to see Blaine and Sam gently placing Artie back in his chair and Kurt handing over an enormous basket filled with baked goods to her uncle.

"Oh my G-d, you guys!" Rachel cried out, tears falling freely, as she was captured in a hug by her best friend and roommate.

"Diva, I'm so sorry for your loss," Kurt commiserated, holding the crying girl tightly. "The basket's from all of us; 'New Directions' past and present. When I asked Puck what we could do, he explained that flowers weren't appropriate, and suggested something edible. I hope it's OK."

"Kurt, this is so thoughtful; thank you, all of you. You didn't need to do anything, and I appreciate it so much," Rachel tearfully acknowledged their considerate gesture. Kurt released her so she could greet the other boys as Noah, who had followed Rachel, now hugged Kurt. Rachel kissed Artie and then Blaine before turning to Sam, who was doing his best to keep his emotions in check.

Over the past two years, Sam had become a surrogate brother to Rachel; he too felt the loss of Rachel's grandmother, with whom he had bonded since he moved in with the Berrys. He wrapped Rachel in his arms, shedding silent tears as she confessed, "Samuel, the last time Noah and I spoke with Bubbe, she asked to send you her love."

Rachel gathered her composure, inviting the boys in to say hello to her fathers and Noah's family and meet her aunt, uncle, and cousins. They chatted for a while, catching up on graduation parties, summer jobs, and college plans. The boys were tired after their drive(s), and excused themselves to return to their motel, leaving the family alone once again to contemplate the challenging days ahead.


Thursday was one of those perfect spring mornings that people in the Midwest long for; a blue, cloudless sky, pleasantly warm (but not hot) temperature, low humidity, and a barely-there gentle breeze. It was the perfect day for taking a walk in the park or planting annuals…or going to a funeral.

By 11:30, the family and friends of the mourners were gathering at the cemetery for the graveside service. Rachel was deeply moved by how many of her former "New Directions" teammates had driven in to pay their respects. She was touched especially to see Mr. Schuester; Coach Bieste had volunteered to proctor his finals, and he drove to Columbus with Becky Jackson and Sugar Motta. Rachel made her way through the crowd, receiving hugs, kisses, and condolences from friends and family. Jesse had come from Akron; even her Grammy and Papa (LeRoy's parents) had made the trip from Cincinnati to attend the service.

The casket arrived at noon and was escorted to the gravesite by pallbearers: Rachel's Dad (LeRoy), Uncle Max, her cousins Jason and Steve (Karen's husband), Noah, and Noah's Uncle Bill (who had come with his Aunt Audrey). The family (and Nana Connie) sat in chairs to the side of the gravesite while the others gathered behind them. Rachel sat next to Karen, sharing a box of Kleenex during the brief ceremony. Noah stood behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders. The eulogy was brief and heartfelt, the traditional prayers were recited, and the casket was lowered into the ground.

The rabbi explained that the last loving thing that a person can do for someone is to ensure that their casket is covered by the people who were closest to them. He instructed that the immediate family would begin, and then anyone wishing to do the same could form a queue behind them and repeat their actions. The family lined up: Rachel's Zadie, her Aunt Sophie, her Daddy, then Karen, Jason, and herself, in chronological order. Behind them were Max, LeRoy, and Steve (the spouses and son-in-law). Mr. Lieberman took a shovelful of dirt and stoically tossed it on the casket, where it fell with a hollow "thud". He repeated that twice more; he replaced the shovel in the mound and moved away.

Rachel was sobbing in Noah's arms as her turn approached. "You don't have to do this, Baby" he whispered, "not if you can't." She stood steadfastly, and as her turn approached, she gently extricated herself from his strong arms and repeated the same act as those before her had completed.

Rachel's friends watched with a combination of fascination and horror; any funerals they had attended never followed the casket to the gravesite, let alone assisted in the burial. As Rachel's first shovelful hit the casket, Santana began sobbing; when her Abuela had disowned her for being gay, she mourned the loss as if her grandmother had passed away, and this brought it all back. Brittany held her tightly, crying, as well; although she hadn't seen Rachel's grandmother in many years, she remembered her from when she and Rachel played together as small children.

Noah left Rachel for a minute in order to fulfill his mitzvah and honor his "Bubbe Ess" one last time. Kurt and Sam had also lined up to take their turns; Kurt's motivation was to support Rachel, and Sam wanted to say "good bye" to the woman who had become his surrogate grandmother. Each added their earth to the grave, and then joined Rachel and Noah, receiving appreciative hugs.


Author's Notes: I hope this wasn't too depressing. Unlike Christian practices, Jewish people do not have extended visitation at a funeral home with the deceased on view. Burial is usually between 24-72 hours after the death. Timing depends on whether or not the Sabbath (or a major holiday) is involved, as well as if the family needs to wait for out-of-town mourners to arrive. On the day of the funeral, people who choose to may go and view before the casket is closed; the deceased is in a separate area (in the funeral home) rather than in the same room as the mourners.

Funerals can be at a funeral home (or occasionally, a Synagogue or Temple) or at the gravesite only. I opted for a graveside service because it was simpler to describe. All of the gravesite rituals occur whether or not there is a preceding service and a funeral procession.

Grandchildren technically do not need to participate in pouring dirt on the casket. Speaking personally, the act is actually cathartic. In your heart, you are saying "goodbye" and "I love you", knowing this is the last time you will be physically near the person. It is both sad and uplifting at the same time; I know, weird.

After the funeral, there is no wake, per se. Food is present at a Shiva house because people need to eat; it is brought in because the mourners aren't supposed to perform any chores, including food preparation or serving themselves. People attending the Shiva at mealtime, usually the ones who brought the food, will act as servers.