The "Story Thus Far" Hokey-Pokey!

You put Ryoga in, he wants Ranma out,

Toss a Soul-swapping Jewel in

And you shake it all about!

Try to cover up your tracks

And hope Akane doesn't find out;

That's what the story's about!

*Yeah…Jazz Hands!*

LAST TIME on Opposite Attraction…

"You have the jewel, correct, Hibiki?" Nabiki smiled.

Feeling him go stiff in affirmation, she pushed him through the window.

"Switch places, then get out of there. I'll bill you later for all my help!"

Stumbling for a moment, Ryoga quickly got his bearings and thrust a hand into his pocket. Rummaging wildly through the wet blankets, he grabbed the first warm body he felt.

"What do you think you're doing?" Akane shouted in a notably male voice. Running her hands over her flattened chest, she slowly looked down to see that she was currently wearing someone else's body. Rushing over to a small mirror on the wall, she stared at her reflection only to find Ranma's signature blue eyes staring back.

Reaching up to touch her new male face, she breathed out, "Oh boy."


Ok, this chapter just ran away with me! As a result, I'm just chopping it, finishing it, and publishing it in (probably) 3 parts. I really thought it was the finale, then so much more wanted to happen! However, that means that, after a ridiculously long wait -so SO sorry!- you get a few chapters in a short block of time!


Opposite Attraction

Disclaimer: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss

Chapter 12: The Jewel of Denial (Part 1)

Ryoga sat up in a slightly too damp bed and watched in confusion as Ranma's body sprinted across the room to stare into a mirror. That was about right; Ranma's body wasn't his own, after all. But why did it seem so weird to see? Feeling something wiggle at his thigh, he looked down to see P-Chan emerge from between the sheets.

He blinked. Well that was new.

Slowly the cogs in his brain turned, then locked into place as his eyes went wide.

"That's right, the jewel!" he shouted, shoving his hand into his pocket to grab the small stone. Unfortunately, there was no jewel, the reason being that there was no pocket. Just smooth material fitted snugly over a pair of curvy hips. Akane's hips. And he had his hands ALL OVER them.

A giddy smile smearing itself over his new, beautiful face, Ryoga licked his lips. Then it hit him mid-lick that his tongue was on Akane's lips, tasting and feeling their smoothness, and it was almost too much to stop the fantasies that had played out in his head for so long from springing to life. Unnoticed by him, his nose began to bleed.

Ranma grumbled and shivered and pushed his way out of his clothes, then began his struggle to break free of the blankets.

'What possessed that IDIOT to throw a bucket of water on us?' he wondered, popping his head out from under the sheet. Feeling Akane shaking beside him, he lay a gentle hoof on her leg and gazed up into her eyes…her crazy, crazy eyes…over her bleeding nose, on top of her now bloody lip, which she was licking in a way that made Ranma suddenly uncomfortable. Did the bucket hit her in the face?

Pulling his hoof away slowly, he realized that she wasn't shivering from the cold or fear, she was giggling. Her hands, like her tongue, wouldn't stop moving, running over every inch of herself.

Tilting his head in confusion, Ranma's eyes caught movement from across the room and locked onto it. Squinting in the dark, the silhouette looked familiar…really familiar.

Then Akane dropped her insane gaze to him and he realized why she had made him feel uncomfortable.

"RYOGA!" he squealed, too late to avoid the mallet that smashed down on top of him.

"That's a fun trick," Ryoga murmured under his breath, loving the sound of his new voice while he inspected the mallet he'd conjured out of thin air. His free hand wiped the blood away from his mouth, then, as if it had a life of its own, moved down over Akane's chin. His toes curling, he let it travel lower; over her throat, across her delicate collar bone and…

"I need to get a camera- no! A video camera!" he gasped, clenching his hand into a fist to fight the temptation of resuming its exploration. Swallowing hard, he looked up at Akane, now Ranma, as she still stared in shock at her new visage. For a moment he felt like a betrayer, a vile excuse of a human being for having any of his previous thoughts. Lucky for the other half of his conscience, it was only for a very brief moment that he felt this way.

"Sorry," he whispered, bowed, then ran from his room. Closing the door he quickly locked it from the outside- which had been a necessity for his parents when he was younger. Before that he'd had several disastrous attempts at finding the bathroom at night.

Pressing his back to the door, he breathed out a long breath and began to laugh maniacally. Pinching his nostrils against a new onslaught of blood, he skipped merrily down the hall to find the family camcorder.

Staring hard into the mirror, Akane was too shocked to pay much attention to the commotion behind her until it was too late. Hearing the door close, then the lock click, she suddenly came to her senses and spun around.

"NO!" she shouted, rushing across the room and jiggling the doorknob to confirm her worst fear. "No," she breathed, dropping to her knees. "He wouldn't…not with my body…"

Feeling the sting of Ryoga's second betrayal hurt, and she felt like she should have been crying, but as she buried her face in Ranma's larger hands no tears would come. It wasn't just his hands that were different, deep inside she could feel a strange inner battle raging. Where there was a part that wanted to shed a few tears and gently mallet him to Hokkaido, there was another half that just wanted to break down the door, perform some outlandishly strong ki blast and flatten Ryoga's ass 'till his parents wouldn't be able to recognize him!

She shrugged; at least she wasn't caught up in too much inner conflict.

Rising to her feet, she went up…and up. Her arms and legs felt almost comically long in comparison to what she was used to. Gaining a surge of confidence while wearing Ranma's body, she idly wondered if she could replicate any of his signature moves. Cracking a small grin she slid into a ready stance, took a deep, steady breath, then brought her hands up to the door.

"Moko taka- ugh!"

In an instant she was on her back, a small piglet yelling in her face.

"What?" she complained, trying to get up but somehow being pushed back by her mini fiancé. "I'm going to knock the door down and get that jerk!"

Ranma gave her an even look. Pointing at the door, he mimed her throwing an energy ball at it and getting shrapnel blown into her face.

"So what? I can take it!"

He looked at her harder, pressing his face well into her personal space while miming and squealing a reprimand about how she needed to think things through better and NOT always push head-on into trouble like a bull in a china shop. When he was done, he sat back and folded his little pig arms across his chest.

Pursing her lips to the side, she grumbled out, "Fine! If that's too much for you, what do we do then?"

Stepping off of his own chest, which felt incredibly weird to do, Ranma bounced up at the door and kicked off the knob. Landing, he gave it a small hit that sent it swinging open.

"Thanks, P-Chan!" Akane mocked, snuggling their noses together. Not sure if he should be horrified or not by pressing noses with his male face, which was currently being worn by someone he would definitely NOT mind snuggling noses with, Ranma half pulled away before stopping in confusion.

"Let's get some hot water for you, and my body for me," Akane said while scooping him up and dashing down the hall. "Then we can finally put an end to all of this nonsense!"

Ryoga ran through his house feeling confident that he knew where he was going, right up until he was standing outside in the cold looking at Nabiki.

"Nab, Na- nee-chan!" he fumbled in soprano, breaking into a sudden, ultra-wide grin. He hadn't been able to find his family's camera, but Nabiki was sure to have something! He simply needed to plan out his words perfectly in order to make her believe that he was-

"What the hell did you do, Hibiki?"

Ryoga blinked. "Wha…how? I'm not-"

"I know my sister," Nabiki said tiredly, running a hand up her forehead to quell a budding headache. She hated cleaning up a botched plan, that was what the authorities were for. "Why are you not you yet, and why the hell are you her?"

"I, I am so me, nee-chan!" he tried in desperation. "It's me, Akane, your little sister! Our family name is Tendo and we live in that house with the dojo…" He pointed as if at the dojo to emphasize his point, but then changed his mind about where he should have been pointing. Thinking for a moment, he chucked his thumb in a completely different direction, then gave it a third try. Meeting her condescending glare, he dropped his hands to his sides. "So, I was wondering if you had a camera I could borrow?"

Nabiki actually took pause. 'Is this ass really trying to get me to give him a camera AND my sister's body?' She had to laugh, but he wasn't the one who would be taking pictures of anyone, and certainly not for free!

"Oh, well, if it's you, Akane," Nabiki said, reaching into her pocket, "I do have a camera…500,000 yen. Upfront."

"F-f-five…how would I have that much on me right now?"

"Upfront or no fun," she said calmly, pulling her hand from her pocket empty. "It's a very reasonable price, considering the situation."

He stared at her for a long moment, then pulled out Akane's trusty mallet, swung…and missed? Dragging his eyes up his arms to his empty hands, he couldn't quite figure out what had happened until he focused on Nabiki.

"Really, Akane, you didn't just try to hit me, did you?" A smirk formed on her lips, almost glowing in the darkness over her own, much larger mallet. "You should know better than to try something as stupid as that. You're not the only one who knows how to use a mallet in this family, how do you think I do business?"

Ryoga stepped back, "Nee-chan…?"

"Nobody lies to Nabiki Tendo, you idiot!" She hefted the mallet over her head, "Now turn the power on, go back in there, and switch bodies with my little sister," she said menacingly. "And if you don't, when I find you, you'll be paying for it with more than just money, Dear."

Akane dashed through the hall to the top of the stairs, marveling at how much faster it was to run around with longer legs. Smiling gleefully, she rushed down the first two steps before the power suddenly flicked on, the surprise causing her to misjudge the third step and nearly fall down the rest of the staircase. Catching herself on the banister in an undignified glomp, she smiled sheepishly at Ranma who was now clinging firmly to her shirt front.

"Guess I need a little more adjusting before I just run around," she chuckled, peeling her arms and legs free of the railing, "but at least we have light again." Ranma gave a small grunt, then fell off of her chest and onto the floor. It was safer there, he hoped.

Making their way back through the house to the kitchen, Akane quickly set to work boiling more hot water.

"See, soon we can talk again," she crooned, dropping her chin into her palm as she sat. "Although, it has been kind of nice to have some peace and quiet…"

"Bwee, bwe," Ranma mocked back at her, one long ear falling to the side as he tilted his head in irritation. It went beyond Akane's ability to resist, so she scooped him up and snuggled him under her chin.

"You are just too cute!"

Losing his venom quickly, he let her snuggle him. Nudging his head further into the crook of her neck, he allowed himself a small bit of enjoyment, even if the situation didn't necessarily warrant it. He wasn't using the curse's adorableness in a dishonorable way, after all.

Closing his eyes, he sat contentedly in her large, muscular arms until he thought a little more about what he was doing. He was snuggled with a guy- not that there was anything wrong with that if he were a different man- but himself as a guy was a whole different level of weird, to say the least. Akane always said he was narcissistic, but this felt like it had been taken a little too far. Even if his arms really were pretty awesome looking, he had to admit. And his pectorals, well, ANY girl should consider herself lucky to be pressed to them. But before he had the chance to ruminate longer on his virtues, she put him down and poured out the teakettle in one fluid movement.

"Aaah, I wasn't ready!" he shouted, growing into Ryoga's much larger, nude form on the table in front of Akane.

"You're naked!" she cried, covering her eyes and jumping around girlishly.

"Stop that! If someone sees me actin' like that they'll think I'm a wuss!" Reaching forward, he began to struggle her hands off of her face, "And you know Nabiki's around here somewhere with a camera or somethin' !"

"What are you doing, pervert?" she screamed. "You'd rather someone see your body wrestling with a naked boy than covering its eyes?"

Outside, Nabiki clicked off several pictures, very thankful she'd had Ryoga turn the lights back on. "There are those who would pay quite a bit for just that, little sis," she grinned in agreement. Finishing off one roll of film, she quickly loaded another.

Back inside, Ryoga wandered, then heard his voice and Ranma's arguing, and looked down at himself. 'This is my last chance with this body,' he thought, 'I don't need a camera, I just need a little time alone. They'll be fighting for a while, anyway.'

As Ryoga faded back into the shadows and tried to recall where the bathroom was, Akane shoved Ranma and sent him sprawling onto the ground.

"Put on some clothes, idiot!"

"I will, so stop actin' like a girl!"

"I am a girl!" Akane huffed. Squeezing her eyes shut she dropped her hands, "This better?"

"I guess," he grumbled in response, grabbing a dishtowel and holding it over his naughty bits. "C'mon upstairs with me ta get something to wear. I don't want you acting like you're scared or nothing while I'm gone. You can open your eyes, I covered up."

Cracking one eye experimentally, she threw up her hands in exasperation. "That's covered?"

"Good enough." He lifted the cloth away and looked down, shaking his head, "Trust me, it's MORE than enough."

"Ranma!"

Snagging her by the wrist, he pulled her to the base of the stairs and let out a quick laugh, "You should probably go up first."

For a moment she looked at him in confusion. Then a visual of Ryoga's naked posterior running up a staircase flashed through her head, causing her to flail her hands wildly on either side of her face in complete gross-out mode.

"Quit it, would you!" Ranma gritted out again, grabbing her by the wrists. Their eyes locking, they both stared hard in loaded silence as something fell onto Akane's foot.

"Was that the towel?" she asked quietly. His eye twitching slightly, he gave a quick nod.

"So that means…"

"Just get up the stairs already!" he shouted, pushing her up the first few steps in front of him.

After a small pause, Akane cleared her throat and muttered sulkily, "You're not as nice as you used to be now that I'm a boy."

"I thought you were the poster girl for feminism," he teased, "I'm just treatin' you like an equal."

Stomping up the stairs, she murmured, "You didn't have to yell."

"We always yell at each other," he said with a chuckle. Watching her shoulders flinch, he deflated. "Sorry, but what did you think I'd do with you looking at other guys naked? And you keep doin' all this girly stuff that I can't help but feel is gonna bite me in the ass when this is all over."

She hummed thoughtfully, passing back through the bedroom door and looking in the opposite direction from where he'd be getting dressed.

"The first part I can understand a little, but honestly, how much damage could I possibly do by just acting like myself?"

He stepped into his boxers and pants, then threw his shirt over his head. "I already told you, I feel like your sister's lurking around somewhere. How else could Ryoga suddenly get a sense of direction and brains?"

"Good point," she agreed. After a moment, she slowly smirked. "By the way, you always said I acted like a macho tomboy chic all the time, not girly. Guess I'm more feminine than you were admitting to, hmmm?"

"Maybe. A little," he said barely above a whisper.

"Nice to know," she said, a hint of triumph in her voice. "Are you done getting dressed yet?"

"Yeah, you don't need ta cover your eyes anymore."

"Good." Turning around, she had her lips pressed together in a way that had the hairs on Ranma's neck prickling.

"What now?" he moaned, taking a step back.

Akane hesitated, shifted her weight to her other foot, then chanced a glance his way. Her cheeks flushing a deep red, she whispered, "I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to touch it without your consent."

"Can't you hold it in?" he pleaded desperately. Shaking her head with more embarrassment, she couldn't meet his eyes if she tried. "I guess Ryoga didn't stop for a potty break on his way here."

Ranma began to pace, scrubbing his hands through his hair as he stomped around.

"Ok, I'll help you. But we NEVER speak of this, got it?"

She nodded quickly, adding in a meek voice, "You act like I want anyone to know."

"Yeah, well, it ain't your body involved here," he groused, grabbing her hand and leading them to the toilet. Taking a deep breath and checking over either shoulder, he quickly pulled them both inside and shut the door.

"Go ahead and start," he whispered, "I'll tell you what you need ta do if you don't get it."

Akane spun around. "I know what to do, baka, it's not that complicated! I don't think it's right to touch your…stuff…is what the problem is!"

Trying to placate her with hand motions, he whispered back, "Okay, okay! Just keep your voice down so no one hears any of this!"

He turned her to face the wall over the toilet, then positioned himself behind her and began to reach around her waist. Going rigid, she grabbed him none-to-gently by the wrist, "What do you think you're doing?"

"How did you think this was going to happen, Akane?" he nearly shouted back, shoving his arms down to break out of her grip.

She looked around frantically, finding the feeling of his breath on the back of her neck and his body pressed to her back strangely unsettling. "Just, be…more of a gentleman."

"Right, right, of course," he almost laughed. "Well, while I'm grabbing my own junk, here, I just want you ta know I'll be thinking only the purest of thoughts." He leaned closer to her ear, "Feel better now?"

"Hai," she swallowed.

His body pressing against hers once more, she thought it was funny how she was suddenly acutely aware of her nipples going hard- that happened to guys too? Laughing to herself as he untied her drawstring, she focused on the feel of those nipples, so strangely free with no bra on, rubbing against the fabric of her shirt. They were so tiny…he was tugging at the waist of her pants, now…so tiny, and hard…he was reaching in, his hand was hot as it brushed across the skin of her stomach…she could feel them, she could feel him…

She could feel it, and it wasn't as tiny as she'd remembered. Not so tiny, but getting hard, like her nipples. Yes, definitely getting hard.

"WAIT!" she shouted, bucking her hips forward to get out of his reach before he noticed.

"What now?" he cried in exasperation.

She covered her mouth and turned to him, then remembered her pants and threw a hand over her crotch. Feeling something poke into her palm, she quickly turned away and threw both hands over her mouth again. As she considered where the one hand, now on her mouth, had been just moments earlier, her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she ripped it away from her lips and yanked her pants back up. Letting out a groan, she knocked her forehead against the wall in defeat.

"Hey, hey," Ranma tried to soothe, grabbing her by the shoulders from behind, "you alright?"

"How do you live with this?"

Ranma wrinkled his brow, "Live with what, exactly?"

"THIS," she said, dramatically gesturing at her groin. "Gods, it's just always there, isn't it?"

He swallowed down his smirk, "That's usually how we like it to be, yeah."

"Oh shut up."

"Wanna try this again?" he asked quietly, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "Like I have much of a choice," she answered, resuming her position and trying to keep her thoughts on anything but what was happening below her belt. Feeling his arms circle around her once more, she almost leaned into him before catching herself.

Clean thoughts, keep them pure, like a waterfall. The water thundering down, pushing down…he was pushing her pants down again…NO! Don't think about that! Shoving her hands as far into her pockets as they could go, something else did catch her attention, if only for a moment. It was smooth and oval and at her fingertips.

Her eyes shot open as she realized she was touching the jewel, she'd had it this whole time?! Then they went wider as one jewel was forgotten for another.

Ranma's hands had found her, touching her in a way that made her jaw drop and her toes curl. She looked down for only a moment, just to see it, and then she was the one holding him. She blinked to confirm what her eyes were seeing; yep, him. In her hand, and he felt…wait!

Pushing away suddenly, she stumbled across the room while sputtering several denials about her actions just now, waving her hands frantically the whole time to shake off the impure thoughts.

Shocked speechless, Ranma blinked several times as he suddenly found himself staring at a penis. He looked at it thoughtfully for a moment before his attention was diverted by Akane sputtering against the wall behind him.

She'd just been in front of him, and she'dbeen the one who needed to use the restroom…so why was he in front of the toilet suddenly needing to use it so badly?

Dropping his eyes back down quickly, he reached out with his very own familiar hand and touched his very own familiar genitalia.

"Wait, this is…mine? It's mine!" he cheered, grabbing and shaking it as he spun to face Akane. "I've got MY dick in MY hand!"

"Agh!" Akane cried, covering her eyes. Somehow, all the ways she'd secretly dreamed of the moment she'd be seeing Ranma naked (and not accidentally), being in Ryoga's body while watching him happily brandish his manhood never made the list. "Put it back, you sicko!"

Tucking it away quickly, he rushed over to a mirror and stared for a long moment, contorting his face several times to be sure his reflection was truly his own.

"I'm really me again, but how…?" he wondered aloud.

Akane let out a little cough, then pointed at his pants. "We have the jewel, looks like Ryoga never left home without it."

Ranma smiled wickedly as he pushed his hand into his pocket, feeling the small stone slide over his fingertips. Flexing his muscles for a moment, he began to rub his chin in thought.

"We can use this, Akane. He'll never hit me if he thinks I'm you, and he doesn't even know that we know he had it yet."

She cocked an eyebrow, "Except that we changed."

He paused, then resumed looking thoughtful. "There is that, I guess, but if we don't screw up we can keep that part a secret."

"I'll try my best, but you have the easy part."

His head snapping up, he let out a laugh, "How's mine easier than yours?"

"Because you've had a lot of practice being a girl," she answered, then began to smirk. "You could be a damsel in distress, Ryoga likes that."

"Gross, Akane. Is that really what you think of me, just a bunch-a cheap tricks?"

She scratched the back of her neck, "What size shoe are you?"

"What's that got to do with this?" he balked. Scrunching her nose up with an evil-cute grin, (which did nothing on Ryoga's face) she giggled, "Because, if the shoe fits…"

"Ugh, lame!" he cried, smiling anyway. "Now get outta here so I can pee, you know how bad I gotta go!"

Laughing, she rose to her feet, swaying a bit as she adjusted to the new center of balance.

"Maybe we can try this again sometime," she winked over her shoulder as she stepped through the door, "just without the peeing."

Blushing, Ranma watched the door close, then cocked an eyebrow, "Wait, which part?"

Once he was finished, he rejoined her in the hall, a funny smile quirking up his lips. Taking the bait, Akane tilted her head to the side, "What? Was using the toilet that great of an experience?"

"No," he said slowly, "but it just hit me how dumb we were. Why didn't we just turn my body into a girl so you wouldn't have any problems goin' to the bathroom?"

Akane opened her mouth, but no great explanation gushed forth. Not even a trickle. Wordlessly, she dropped her eyes to the floor. Stepping beside her, her gave her shoulder a squeeze, "It's funny, baka, laugh."

"I went through a lot back there, you know," she groaned, slumping into his touch.

He smirked, "You know you liked it." She smacked him and leaned to snuggle further into his chest.

"Besides," he continued, "what do you think I go through all the time with this stupid curse? Just imagine all the mess you just had to deal with, only mine doesn't go away."

Akane wrapped her arms around him.

"I guess I'm sorry I always judged you like that, none of it was really your fault…at least most of the time."

He stiffly held her in a warm embrace, wanting to lean in but feeling like doing so would prove to be more damaging to his reputation than he could repair. Outside, Nabiki was waiting for that damage, camera poised at the ready. Then she paused, the yen-signs clearing from her eyes long enough to realize how much time had passed since she'd last seen a certain Lost Boy wearing her sister's skin. With a huff and a longing look back into the house, she pocketed the camera and moved off to search for him. Nothing was really going to happen between Ranma and Akane anyway. It never did.

Ryoga hadn't found the bathroom. Instead, huddled in a closet, he accidentally found an old Polaroid camera and one pack of film. Holding the film up, his hands shook slightly as he loaded it into the camera. He had been awarded this unique opportunity, surely by the Heavens themselves, and he had to make it count in ten pictures. Ten measly pictures!

With a small curse he clenched his fists as he frowned down at the Polaroid, and accidentally hit the button. With a blinding flash the camera went off in his hands, that and the ensuing ruckus of the film exiting the camera caused him to panic and drop everything to the floor. The moment it hit, a second flash blinded him anew.

"No, no!" he shrieked, falling to his knees in the receding glow that the flash had left echoing on his retinas. Pawing in his temporary blindness, he lifted the two wasted pictures as he stood, staring as his vision cleared to reveal Akane's feet and face scowling back at him. Letting out a heavy sigh, he resigned himself; now was NOT the time to dwell on misfortune. He had eight pictures left, which was more than he needed for what he had in mind! With a deep, steady breath, he began to unbutton Akane's pants.

"That weasel!" Nabiki growled softly. Moving through the house she checked behind closed doors, one-by-one, only to come up empty handed. She'd brought Ryoga here, helped him through all the poor decisions he constantly made, and now he mysteriously disappears as Akane? He was more than pushing his luck if he thought he'd get away with this!

Running a finger along the wall as she moved, she purposely let it hit off of any doorways or joints with a loud thump, calling out with quiet menace, "Come out, come out wherever you are, Hibiki, my dear!"

She didn't know where he was, but she knew where he wasn't from her time spent spying on her actual sister and Ranma. Coming to the end of the hall, she turned to face the last possible door.

Reaching for the doorknob, she gritted out quietly, "Nowhere left to run, you moron."

Ryoga took a deep breath, pulled Akane's pants over her hips and let them fall to the floor. Reaching down with shaking hands, he ran his fingertips over her hipbones and into the gentle dip that followed before they rose again to glide over her stomach. Tracing her navel, he readjusted the tissues stuffed in his nostrils with one hand and moved further south with the other.

The moment he reached his goal, his eyes rolled back and he fell against the wall, sliding down to the floor.

"I-I need the c-c-camera!" he rushed out, fumbling as he brought his knees up and pushed the button. Before the flash could even fade from his sight, he had her shirt off. Smiling in as sexy a way as he could, he snapped off another picture, being sure to arch her back for full effect.

"Six more," he muttered to himself, considering all the positions he could think of and the number of pictures he had remaining. Contorting himself, he realized he may not be able to accomplish being both the photographed and the photographer.

"If only I had a tripod," he lamented, "or someone else to hold the camera-"

At that moment Nabiki Tendo opened the last door…and immediately wished she hadn't. There before her was her little sister's nearly naked body, bloody tissues packed into her nostrils, bra half off and fumbling with a camera between her legs.

"Really now, I didn't think you had it in you," Nabiki stated, deceptively calm. Ryoga squinted against the glare of the hall light, shielding his eyes with his hand as he tried to comprehend what was happening. Suddenly his brain did a quick 180 and he fell back, huddling in the corner in a lame attempt to shield Nabiki's view of his dirty deeds.

"It-this-it's, it's not what it looks like!" he stammered, gathering Akane's clothes and putting them on in fast forward.

Nabiki slowly bent down and lifted the camera, letting it dangle by the strap from two fingers. "Oh, I don't know, Hibiki…I think it's exactly what it looks like."

Seeing him searching frantically over the floor with his eyes, she saw the pictures before he did and placed her foot over them, pulling them away from him before he got any other ideas. Taking her time, she bent over and lifted them, scrutinizing the finer points before her eyes met his from overtop.

"Guess we can't call her a tomboy anymore, ne?"

"W-well, I didn't really get a ch-chance to look yet," he said with an uncomfortable attempt at a smile, then held out his hand. Nabiki laughed.

"Are you seriously trying to get me to show them to you?"

"Maybe?" he answered weakly, "Just so I can see and give you an honest answer?"

Nabiki leveled her gaze at him, pocketed the Polaroids, and stepped forward, grabbing him by his now slender shoulders. "YOU are not going to see my sister naked, got it? So long as I'm around, you are going to pay for what you did, and just tried to do. If you were in school like a normal boy your age, I'd have you expelled and transferred so far away your family wouldn't even be able to get lost and accidentally find you." She gave a small shake and tightened her grip, leaning her face closer. "However, since you are who you are, I'll just have to think of other ways to teach you a lesson, ones that utilize your unique set of circumstances."

Ryoga swallowed, then batted his eyes, "You aren't going to, uh, tell her…are you?"

"Depends," she said in a slightly softer voice. "Your actions over the next few minutes will choose your fate, got it?"

"I, I get it! I got it! I swear I'll be good, Nabiki san, just don't tell anyone about this, please!"

Dropping her hold on him, she stepped away. "Then let's go, and this had better turn out right, Hibiki."

"I swear it will!" he nearly cheered, beginning to run off in the wrong direction. Squeezing the bridge of her nose, Nabiki called after him, "You are coming with me. Do you really think I'm letting you out of my sight after all this?"

"Let me prove my intentions are pure!" he said with conviction, raising a fist for emphasis as he skidded to a halt beside her.

Thoroughly unamused, Nabiki blinked at him. "Shut up, Hibiki."

Sitting across a small table from one another, Ranma began to tell Akane all about the great plan he had formed. When he was done, he leaned forward and hit the table with an open palm, "Foolproof, right?"

Akane folded her arms.

"It's you pretending to be a damsel in distress, just like I said."

Fidgeting uncomfortably, he scratched the back of his head. What did she want him to do? Ryoga was in her skin at the moment, and there was no way he could hit her body! That was completely out of the question, he liked her body! This was the only was he could think of that didn't rely on fists, and that was something he needed to stick to in order to be able to sleep at night after all this was over.

"Well, it ain't exactly like that," he sputtered, "it's a lot more complex than it might look at first, y'know!"

"Of course, I must have missed the brilliant finer points." She leaned her elbow on the table, resting her head against her fist.

"Yeah you did!" he said with growing annoyance. "See, when we first see him, what I was saying to do was-"

"Ranma," she cut in, "he's in my body and we have the jewel. I'll just grab him and switch back, then you can do whatever you want…so give me the jewel."

Ranma pulled back as if he'd been struck.

"Give it to you? But, then what'll I do?"

"Stand there, grab him, whatever, I don't really care so long as it hurts him! That jerk thinks he can-"

"But I'm the hero, not the help!" he said louder. "If you do it this way, you get to be the one who actually brings him down, and that ain't happening."

Tilting her head, she looked across the table at him in awe, "What are you talking about? Are you seriously trying to say that this is some grand challenge for you or something?"

"It is!" he shot back, rising to his feet. "If it's a fight with Ryoga, then I gotta be the one to win it!"

"You're insane!"

She balled her fists at her sides and stood, "You want a fight with Ryoga, then fine! I'm stuck in his stupid body right now, so come on, fight me!"

"I can't fight you," he said calmly, folding his arms and turning away, "you're a girl."

"Not right now I'm not!" she snapped, leaping over the table at him.

Turning just in time to see her flying his way, he threw up his defenses and caught her by the arm, spinning sideways and redirecting her to land safely at his side.

"I'm not fighting you!" he hissed, letting her go. With a smirk, she swept out his legs as he turned his back on her once more.

Spinning before he hit the floor, he landed in a crouch and swept her legs out from under her, returning the favor. As she hit the ground she gasped and pulled up a knee, cringing in pain.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a rush, arms outstretched and defenseless on his knees.

"I, I think-" she started, then brought her elbow around to connect with the side of his face. Looking down at him as he rolled to the floor, she cracked a wicked grin, "I think you should take me more seriously."

Ranma shook his head to clear it, then turned his full attention her way.

"You think you won just 'cause you got a single hit on me?"

"In a personal sense, yes," she smirked. A moment later she was on her back with him straddling her.

"And how 'bout now?"

Letting out a huff, she went to make a move, but was stopped by his hands on her wrists before it could begin. Looking up, she struggled defiantly for only a moment before his cocky smile and strong hands took her focus off of the fight. Staring into his eyes glinting above his soft lips, she found herself licking her own as she lost the will to break out of his hold. She was stronger, and truthfully felt she could have escaped, but why would she want to? With hazy thoughts she faked her struggle, not fully admitting that she was enjoying it. Maybe too much.

Maybe way too much.

Swallowing back a gasp she realized that it didn't matter if she admitted it or not, her body knew. It was easy to call the boys perverts, but now she was a boy, and it wasn't as easy as when she was a girl to hide the way Ranma was affecting her.

"Get off," she gasped, squinting her eyes shut as her mind screamed, 'It's too late!' When she opened them again, the look on Ranma's face told her that he had more than noticed her feelings, especially the one poking him in the leg.

Leaping to his feet he held his hands up between them, half to keep her at a distance, and half to show his own innocence.

"I swear I didn't do nothin' weird just now!"

Looking down, her eyes stopped in horror on the tent in her pants. Quickly sitting up, she pulled her knees to her chest and hid behind them. Swallowing back her embarrassment, she tried to meet his eyes and failed. "It, uh, wasn't your fault," she said quietly, "I don't really know what to say, except…sorry about that."

His hands still up between them, he cocked his head to the side, then his eyes went wide.

"Wait, that's right! Finally, I didn't do nothing weird to you, but you-" He made the mistake of meeting her gaze as she peeked up from behind her knees, tears welling in her eyes. Letting out a long breath, one that was meant to be used to form all the words victory had awarded him, he closed his mouth and shook his head.

"It's okay, Akane. Wasn't anyone's fault, really."

"Really?" she asked with a sniffle, wiping her unshed tears away on her sleeves.

"Yeah." Holding out a hand, he lifted her to her feet. They gazed at one another for a long moment before Akane tightened her grip with a small, shaky smile and began to lean in for a hug.

"Well that was finished entirely too soon," came Nabiki's voice from the door of the room. "It was headed in such an interesting direction, too, so much more could have happened."

"Nabiki!" both teens shouted in unison, splitting apart before their voices had a chance to finish echoing off the walls. Squinting her eyes, Akane watched her sister pocket a camera.

"Yes, it's me," the older Tendo said with mock enthusiasm before turning sharply to the hallway, "and I come bearing gifts."

Giving a tug, she pulled Ryoga into the room, smirking crookedly over the top of his now shorter head. "I gave my word not to tell what he's done, but I believe you should know that he's certainly going to be on the naughty list this year." Turning, she began walking out of the room, giving a short wave behind her, "Use that information however you like, just be sure to use it as hard as you can. He deserves that and more, a lot more. Oh, and here, little sis," she said, tossing a picture to land at Akane's feet, "that might give you some long overdue motivation to properly handle the situation."

Bending slowly as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing on the Polaroid, Akane's eyes suddenly went wide.

"Nabiki san?!" Ryoga gasped, a sense of dread pounding through him with every heartbeat, "You said you wouldn't…"

"I'm true to my word, unlike you…I didn't say a thing. So many ways to convey a message, isn't language funny? "

Turning with a cringe, he tried to give a small smile. After an eternal moment ticked by in raging silence, he thought better of it and let the smile drop. "So, how have you both been?"

That was going to be his opening line? Ranma couldn't believe how stupid the other boy could be! He'd spent enough time around Akane to know that more than a simple greeting was going to be necessary, a lot more! Although it was Ryoga, not him, who had been in the wrong this time, and Akane had always gone way too soft when it came to dealing with Ryoga. But Nabiki and that picture, what that was about? It was supposed to motivate Akane, but he wasn't sure she'd be able to ever…

Realizing he was getting lost in random thoughts, he recalled the plan, his plan, and started to slip into girly Akane mode. Then suddenly Akane was rushing past him, and she looked anything but girly!

With a cry of rage she leapt into the air, coming down hard on Ryoga as they crashed to the ground.

"What is WRONG with you?" she screamed, pummeling the floor on either side of his head. Too shocked to react, Ryoga lay motionless and wide-eyed beneath his very own, very enraged body, praying that Akane could hold her temper enough to not do anything too rash.

Looking down into what should have been her own eyes, she could see Ryoga hiding in them, which made her stomach lurch. He was inside her head, inside her body, and he had done the unspeakable, if she was interpreting that photograph correctly. Gritting her teeth she felt her fury flow through her, just like usual, but then it felt…strange. It twisted in a funny way, making her insides burn, then ran like molten steel to pool heavily in her hands. Cracking her knuckles, she watched as energy began to glow in her fingertips. Refocusing her attention on him, she leaned close and growled, "You never should have done what you did."

Winding back, she focused all of her rage to one, glowing fist.

"Akane, stop!" Ranma shouted, rushing across the room, "If you do that, you'll just be hurtin' your own body!"

Switching her gaze to him with a sudden jerk of her head, Ranma was forced to take a step back.

"GIVE ME THE DAMNED JEWEL!" she screamed through clenched teeth, the glow around her fist gaining a burst of power.

"O-ok, Akane, just calm down," Ranma tried to soothe, noting that the energy she was radiating was making the hair on his arms stand on end. Reaching into his pocket, he tossed the small, blue stone to her. "Just think before ya hit, alright?"

"Oh, I'm thinking," she gritted out. "I'm thinking about how much I thought I could trust you, Ryoga, about how many times Ranma said you were a pig and I defended you!" She took a deep breath, then screamed, "and I'm especially thinking about how much I never want to see you, ever again!"

Placing the jewel on her own forehead, now inhabited by Ryoga, she leaned in close and growled, "Ever hit a GIRL, Ryoga?"

Bringing her fist down to smash into his forehead, she felt the switch as it happened. She could feel her consciousness slip into her familiar form, like putting on a perfectly broken in pair of jeans. As her eyes gained their ability to focus, a grin spread across her face while she watched Ryoga blink his way back into his own body, then stare in horror at his fist still on Akane's face.

"I-I hit Akane…NOOOOO!" he cried in anguish, clenching his other hand by the wrist as he fell backwards to the floor in tears. "I can never live with myself like this!"

"Serves you right," she said weakly, wiping some of the blood from her face and rolling her head to the side. Resting her eyes on the jewel, she slowly lifted it, removed one of her socks and dropped it in, then closed her eyes; her mission was done, for now.

"Akane?" Ranma asked in an uncertain tone, kneeling beside her.

"Told you I could protect this stupid rock," she smiled, blood smearing her teeth.

"You didn't need to power-up and smash your face ta do it, you know," he tried to chuckle, caressing the top of her head gingerly. Watching her wince at even that light of a touch, he pulled his hand away, "I think we should get you to a doctor."

Grasping his arm before he could lift her, she cracked open an eye, "I think you should go finish what I started. He found a camera, Ranma. All that time he was missing while he was in my body, it was because he'd found a camera."

Taking a moment for her words to hit home, Ranma suddenly looked up. "So that thing Nabiki threw to you?"

"It was a picture of-" she let out a small cough before finishing flatly, "it was me."

"Wearing…?" he tried hopefully.

"I was in my best sweater! Honestly, what do you think I was, or more accurately, wasn't wearing, Ranma?"

His sites locked onto Ryoga, still moaning in internal turmoil on the floor as he anguished over having hit Akane, "I'm gonna kill him."

"Atta boy," she grinned, closing her eyes again, "go be my hero."

Listening to Ranma pummel Ryoga wasn't nearly as gratifying as watching it, but the blood was stinging her eyes and her head was beginning to throb, so she'd have to make due. Maybe she really shouldn't have hit herself, but Ryoga deserved it. He'd heal from a beating, lord knew he'd already done that, it was his emotions that were his weakness. And he would carry the burden of hitting Akane to his grave!

"You deserve it," she whispered, letting out a slow sigh. A few moments later the room went quiet, then she heard footsteps coming toward her, pause for a long moment, and then she was lifted into Ranma's arms.

"Let's stop off at Doctor Tofu's, or a hospital," Ranma said in a hushed voice, gently pressing her to his chest.

Cracking an eye open, she looked up at him, then her grin fell away, "Did he get a hit in on you?"

"What, no! 'Course he didn't, for crying out loud!"

"But, but your nose is bleeding," she said, wrinkling her eyebrows in confusion before realizing that facial expressions were a bad idea in her current state.

"Well, I, uh," Ranma stuttered, quickly checking to be sure the naked photo of Akane was shoved deeply into his pocket, "it's probably from fighting you!"

"I…did that…?" she whispered dreamily. "Sorry," she continued, too happy to sound sincere.

"I bet you are, baka," he grinned back, happy that he'd successfully redirected her attention.

"But, I didn't think I hit you in the face?"

"Conserve you're freakin' energy, Akane!"

...

A/N: OK, again, so sorry for the delay! I hope you had a good time reading this, and there are more amusing scenes on the way, so get some popcorn, settle in, and don't forget to review and let me know that someone's still reading!