Away from Atlantis

Disclaimer I don't own John, or Ronon, or Rodney, or Sam, or Teyla, or anyone... yet. I don't own Doppelganger. Simple, I own nothing but how I torture the characters. I think this song suits this chapter to a tee so please listen to it. It's the Fear by Within Temptation. I only own it on a cd. This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.

Chapter Twelve song It's the Fear by Within Temptation

(week seventeen and five days)

John slowly took a deep breath, this planet was making him vaguely sick to his stomach, it was damp and heavy jungle meaning it took a lot of work to even go a half mile much less the two he was sure they had gone. Stepping in the mud that went to the top of his boot was the finally straw, he didn't care if Rodney had a bet going he was sick of being here. "Thats it Rodney, I'm calling it we're going back to the jumper Now."

"But. But!" Rodney said.

Ronon turned happy to leave, Teyla did the same even if she was better about not rubbing it in to Rodney.

Rodney's shoulders dropped and he took a step away from the tree he was standing next to, but something on the trunk of the tree lit up. Rodney turned at the light, "Oh! Oh, hello what is that?" Rodney said a smug grin crossing his face.

He took a step forward not sure what he was seeing. Rodney had already turned back to it and was running a scan, he went up and stood next to Rodney. It was... sparkly... and glowing.

"Hey looks like some kind of nature crystalline growth."

He blinked harder, something was weird about this... crystalline thing. He blinked again, it was...

"I think this might be whats causing the energy readings." Rodney went on sounding even further away then before.

"Pretty," Teyla said from somewhere behind him.

He squinted a little harder, it reflected his face in multiples back at him. He could almost hear a hum... "It kind reminds me of one of those toys..." he couldn't think of the word.

"A commodore 64?" Rodney asked.

"A triple barrel shotgun?" Ronon said from some where off to his left.

He frowned, Ronon sounded pretty sarcastic, "No one of those... a kaleidoscope."

"You realize what this means right?" Rodney asked sounding excited.

He blinked again trying to look away, "We found an alien fungus that glows."

Rodney scoffed, "How about a power source that literally grows on trees?"

He tilted his head a little, something was wrong, but he couldn't work up the interest to be alarmed. He felt like the crystal thing was pulling at him...

Rodney was talking again, but this time he couldn't make out the words.

He wanted... he didn't... he felt his heart beat start pounding, like he was doing something dangerous. He needed to... his hand slowly raised a little, almost trembling. Something was wrong... he touched it.

He flew across the clearing feeling like he just touched ten thousand volts, of course slamming into the fallen log didn't help. He felt a weak groan leave his lips instead of a scream, that made him feel a little bit better they wouldn't be able to guess he just cracked most of his ribs as well as feeling like he just got struck by lighting. A ringing sound filled his ears, so it took him a moment to hear Rodney demanding to know why he had done that, as well as hear Teyla, and Ronon's concern.

"I'm alright, just a little shock." He sat up slowly, staring at the now 'dead' crystal, something wasn't right. He had known that since Rodney forced them to land, but he felt the hair on his arms rise in goosebumps. "I don't know why I did that."

"Maybe he sacred it," Ronon said trying to stop Rodney's rant.

He blinked feeling a little, feeling light headed, he wasn't listening to Rodney. He got to his feet with a little help from Teyla, "Lets go back."

"Seriously! Why did you touch it?!" Rodney continued to go off on him.

John felt his irritation with himself and Rodney mingle together and come out in a snarl, something was wrong. "I told you I don't know. I never consciously decided to touch it, it just happened."

Teyla supported him, "Rodney lets go back, you found something, you win the bet. You can come back and study it later, for now I would feel better if we take Col. Sheppard back and get him checked."

John shot her a look from the corner of his eye, maybe he wasn't the only one with a bad feeling, she just suppressed hers better. Did this mean it was Wrath based? Or was it just the crystal things set off something in their Wrath instincts? That second theory made sense as Teyla's abilities well like his were... not so much weaker, as less defined or more controlled. He took another slow breath, maybe he hadn't cracked his ribs maybe it was just bruises because the pain was fading awfully fast for cracked ribs.

They started the ridiculously long track back to the jumper.

Back in Atlantis

Keller walk toward him with a smile on her face, "All your scans are clear, blood tests normal. As far as I can tell your in the picture of heath."

He sat on the edge of a bed, relived and amazed as always that Keller hadn't notice he wasn't all human any more. He smiled at her, "Thanks Doc," he looked to Teyla. "See? I'm fine."

"No more touching strange things." Keller semi jokingly said.

He winced, that was some very good advice he seemed to have trouble following, lets see... crystal thing, Ascension device, Ancient tech... He mentally sighed, if only he hadn't touched so much stuff. He nodded, "That is some very good advice." he hopped off the bed, and Teyla joined him as he left the infirmary, "I don't know about you but I am exhausted."

"It has been a long day." She agreed.

"Thanks for hanging out, I know how boing it is."

"Just wanted to be sure."

He lightly touched her on the back warmed by the concern, "Thanks, and goodnight."

"Goodnight John!" she called after him, as he went to the left while she went straight.

He waved back over his shoulder.

Three hours later he was washing his face hoping to forget the pleasure he had felt when he slammed his hand into her chest ready to feed. It didn't matter it was a dream the feelings he had felt in it... He swallowed hard, leaning on the sink still not looking in the mirror, aware his eyes were bright gold. He still felt sick from the planet and in the dream having been able to taste Teyla's fear he wasn't sure he shouldn't go to Dr. Keller for something to settle his stomach, he was lucky he hadn't thrown up the moment he woke.

He looked up in the mirror hoping he was calmer, only to still see his awful yellow eyes looking back at him. He closed them again and pushed away from the sink, he wasn't going to get to go to the gym to spar then. Working it was then.

(Week eighteen and one day)

John sighed and looked over at his bed, a few really nasty dreams on a variation he had been having for months and he doesn't want to sleep. Ridiculous. He forced himself into bed, it was just a dream.

John was kicking and screaming in his mind, even as he calmly munched on a food he had seen Teyla eat before, he didn't want to be here for this he wasn't... Going. To! He sat bolt up right in bed, sweat soaking his face and neck, panting like he had run five miles. What the hell was that? He rubbed a hand over his face, he didn't bother getting up, he just flopped back down knowing washing his face wouldn't make him feel better, not if he had to see his ugly eyes. Okay, same dream three nights in a row? The only answer he could come up with was, he was thinking too much. He had spent all day trying and failing not to think about it, keeping it fresh in his mind.

He threw his feet over the side of the bed, time for a shower.

The day matched his morning; Slow, painfully so, and weird. Because at breakfast Teyla didn't want to look at him and left rather quickly and then there was what Rodney and Ronon said about her dream. First he wondered if she was picking up on his dreams, like he was broad casting them or something. But then at his painfully annoy visits with Heightmeyer and she suddenly or not so suddenly asking how things were with his teammates. She stated maybe his stress, 'that she thought he had' was maybe him not being up front with them about something; maybe how he felt about Elizabeth's death or even something else. He had no clue what she was taking about, he was only a half Wrath or something, that wasn't too big a deal or anything. She had to be crazy, or something. More like crazy good.

Oh well, he could take measures not to bother Teyla, so what if it had a small cost he didn't want to bother her or for her to notice. So at dinner, without Teyla, he asked Ronon if he wanted to spar that night, Ronon agreed. Rather enthusiastically at that, he almost regretted asking.

He swung by his room and grabbed his gym bag and met Ronon at the gym, first they warmed up a little, Ronon still had a big grin on his face.

"So think your still up to par?" Ronon ask smug grin still on his face.

John grinned back, Ronon was forgetting just how much better he had gotten to be, in the two weeks since their last spar. "Oh, I'm not too worried."

As he thought he payed for that remark. Ronon attacked viciously, and he was almost scrambling to block and parry the hits Ronon was pounding him with. Then Ronon kicked out with his foot, and he let his foot slid to the side. So Ronon didn't catch his leg with the kick, but as Ronon pulled his leg back he hooked his foot around Ronon's leg and yanked. Ronon didn't fall, no he was too good for that, but as his arm flailed around to regain his balance. John brought his bokken down hard hitting Ronon in the face, knocking Ronon to the floor. He inhaled surprised, and then he smelled the distinct smell of blood.

"Crap. You okay Ronon?"

He got a groan in response, he pulled Ronon's hand away from his head, blood streamed down the side of Ronon's face. He winced, he should have controlled his strength better. "Ronon I think your going to need stitches."

"Yeah," Ronon got to his feet, tossing his bokken to the side, he grabbed a towel and held it to his face, wiping the blood streaming down his temple and neck away.

"Let's get you to the infirmary."

Ronon turned towel still to his face, "It's not that bad two weeks and it'll be like it never was there."

"Still I'll feel better if I see you there." He ignored Ronon's eye roll and followed him out of the room. Once they reached the infirmary Ronon tossed the towel in a biohazard bin and stalked on in. He walked up behind Dr. Keller, who was pulling something out of a medicine cabinet, she locked it back up and turned around only to gasp and jump, reaching up to hold her heart.

He poked his head around Ronon feeling guiltier, Ronon smirked amused by her reaction to him being behind her.

"Sorry doc. Didn't mean to scare you."

John spoke up, "We were sparring and I got a lucky shot."

Ronon shot him a glance, part annoyance, part skeptic.

"It's the middle of the night." She said, clearly still off balance.

Luckily Ronon answered that one, "Maybe for you."

Keller smiled a bit at that one, and gesture for Ronon to sit down. "Sit down, let me have a look."

He sat and she pulled gloves on, and leaned up to look closer at it, then she frowned. "This is going to need stitches." She shot him a looked, Ronon gave him a look too, more because it amused him then any real malice. But then Ronon had to add, "I guess I taught him a little too well, hun?"

John mentally squirmed, he wished it was that, but no that would make his life a little too easy. He shrugged again, he noticed Keller seemed a little uncomfortable with him there, the looks and awareness she was showing of him seemed to indicate fear... As a matter of fact, it kind made him think of the way Teyla had been looking at him recently.

"Yeah I guess so," Keller agreed still not looking at him straight.

What was up with this?

He shuffled his feet and Ronon looked up, "You can go."

He stopped thinking about what he could have done to upset Keller, and looked at Ronon, "You sure?"

"Yep, I'm fine, but I want a rematch tomorrow."

He winced, crap he was in for a beating... unless he continued upping his strength. "I was afraid of that." he looked at the two of them and left with a "Goodnight." but not before he heard Ronon comment on her nervousness around him, of course he fail to realize, it was closer to fear, then attraction.

He headed back to his room to face what he had been trying to avoid, bed.

He took another shower and brushed his teeth, and left his bathroom. He sat down in the chair and stared at his bed, it was just a dream, a bad one, but a dream. Come on John, he told himself. You've had bad dreams before, there in nothing new in you being afraid of eating your friends, why is this bothering you?

He exhaled loudly, he was a coward, he grabbed a book he had borrowed from Slomski off the table, it was a murder mystery but it would do.

(Week eighteen and five days)

John seriously weird out, in the last four days, he found people he worked with a lot, were unusually awkward or uncomfortable around him, sure if he spent some time with them they relaxed, but every time he walked into a room it felt like someone shot him a weird look. If he didn't know it was impossible he would have thought they knew, because those looks were damn close to the one he gave himself in the mirror some times.

But the looks were getting to him, it made him want to check his hair or peek in a mirror and make sure his eyes weren't yellow or to check his hands and make sure his nails were okay and make sure he hadn't suddenly developed a feeding slit. It didn't help he was sleeping odd hours and catching cat naps trying to avoid the dreams. In the last forty-eight hours he was pretty sure he had maybe seven hours of sleep. In the last seventy-two he had gotten eight-ish. He actually was surprised he wasn't feeling it more, he knew he needed more sleep, and he felt fatigued but he showed no other symptoms, no purple bags, grogginess, etc.

As a matter of fact he was heading to his room for an hour nap before a briefing on planets on the list for next month's exploration. But then he heard a voice shout "Sheppard!"

He turned and found himself faced with a gun, and even if that wasn't all that out of the normal the fact it was in the hand of his second in command was. "Lorne whats going on?"

"Don't talk to me you Replicator!"

He raised his hands slowly, he knew there was no way anyone could know the truth, but Replicator was a little far out. He saw the two talking down the hall notice what was happening, the girl ran to get security and the guy who as he got closer, he recognized as an off duty Guard, or grunt as Rodney called them, tried to talk to Lorne.

"Major Lorne what is going on?" The guy asked.

"He's a Replicator! I'm telling you we need an ARG."

People started poking their heads out of their rooms, and security showed, they weren't sure who to point their guns at. First Lorne was shouting about him being a Replicator and then there was the fact he had the gun and was pointing it at their boss.

Teyla and a few others walked up surrounding Lorne.

John shifted his feet a little, Lorne followed him with the gun, he froze. Just because he was pretty sure he could survive anything other then a head shot, didn't mean he wanted to test that out, not to mention it would blow his... it wasn't really cover was it? But any way he would be found out. "Major, put the gun down. We can talk this out."

"Someone, get an ARG. Now! Shoot him with it."

Kate was there, he wasn't quite sure when she'd gotten there, but she decided to try to do her part. "Major, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"Just do it!" Lorne waved the gun, he held back a wince, too many people in the hall, if shooting him wasn't bad enough.

"Okay, what's the harm? I mean, if he's human it won't hurt him, right?"

Teyla looked over at him and spoke out of the side of her mouth, "John what is he talking about?"

Lorne jumped in before he could tell her he had no clue, "Don't talk to him. Colonel Sheppard is a Replicator."

Yeah he was confused about that too, if he'd accused him of being a wraith he would have likely just bolted out of panic but... Replicator seemed a bit random. "Look, Lorne I don't know why you think I'm a Replicator..."

"Why!? Because I saw you were talking to Oberoth."

Okay... It was really looking like Lorne was going to shoot him. Then Col. Carter walked down the stairs from behind him. "Major, how about you lower your weapon?"

"He's a Replicator!"

Sam glance at him out of the corner of her eye, looking completely taken aback, he gave a small shrug, she focused on Lorne.

But Lorne had seen the exchange, "What you don't believe me? Okay I'll shoot him, you'll see." he cocked the gun.

He took a step back, he knew he was faster then most but not faster then a bullet. "Whoa, whoa that won't be necessary. I am not fighting you, I'm not trying to run away, can't you just wait for the ARG?"

Then a bolt of red hit Lorne and the familiar sound reached him, he looked up, Ronon had stunned Lorne. He let his hands drop, he looked around, the random personal started going back to whatever they were doing but Carter, and Teyla looked a bit disturbed matching his feeling exactly.

Two Hours Later

He looked across the meeting room at Rodney, "Sit down Rodney."

"I'm good over here thank you."

Carter ignored him, used to his foibles. "All off world teams have been contacted and instructed not to return for the time being. Gate travel will be restricted to an as-needed basis and until further notice, all non-essential expedition members will be restricted to quarters."

Ronon made it clear even if he'd had one he didn't think it was worth thinking over, "Come on, is the really necessary? It's just a few bad dreams, right?"

Carter answered that one, "The fact is we don't really know what we're dealing with. We may have an alien entity on our hands capable of moving person to person at will."

Kate picked up where Carter left off, "And so far the only behavior we have to evaluate seems to suggest a certain malice. Now based on what's been described to me, the personification of Colonel Sheppard in everyone's dreams is behaving much like a sociopath."

He'd second that one. From the few he'd seen, he really seemed evil, and after hearing about Keller's he was glad he at least could stay awake and avoid them.

"Right now all it's done is caused some nightmares, but we don't know if that's the limits of it's capabilities."

Teyla looked at Kate face creased with worry and a touch of fear, "You're saying this is only the beginning."

"I've never profiled anything like this before. But it will likely progress, drive up the stakes and seek bigger thrills. Now even if it's limited to manipulating the host's subconscious, it still may be able to put someone in serious jeopardy."

He closed his eyes, they might as well be fighting Freddy, they didn't know how to track it, they didn't even know how to stop it. But he knew Kate was right people had died in dreams before and stayed dead. He opened his eyes and looked around the table.

"Come on! We don't have a single shred of hard evidence people! I mean, until we do this thing is just a bogeyman." Rodney went on, as if he wasn't going out of his way to avoid it.

"Exactly why you're going back to the planet where Colonel Sheppard touched the crystal."

Rodney looked surprised, "What? Why would we do that?"

"Well, just as you said to gather some hard evidence, to see if there are any more of these things. We need to find out exactly what they are and how they work and if possible how to detect if there really is something inside of Lorne right now."

Carter looked around at them trying to drive the point home how worried she was over this, she pushed back from the table. "Thank you."

Another Two Hours Later

They were back in the clearing where they'd found the first one, Zelenka most annoyed with Rodney, he was trying to not look at the trees to hard afraid another one would catch him if they were around, when Teyla found one. Watching Zelenka take the first one off the tree was interesting, but the care that he and Rodney took getting the live one off was even more so.

Heading back, he helped carry the dead one back to the lab before heading to his room, he may not really want to sleep but his body needed it, leaving Zelenka and Rodney to work he went to his room.

Blinking he was confused to find himself on the balcony by the control room, looking around he realized something was wrong, he felt... evil. Then Kate came out of the door, she looked at him a smile on her face. "You said you were ready to talk?"

He felt his face form a smile, only it felt like the kind of smile he'd give before making a threat or he made when talking to Kolya. "Yes we were going to talk about your overwhelming fear of heights."

Her face paled and he realized what was happening, the thing was showing him what it was doing to Kate. He immediately try to tell her, he tried to move, anything. But the entity was in control.

Slowly walking towards Heightmeyer he backed her up till she was pressed up against the guard rail. She started to cry too afraid to look over her shoulder, John tried to something, lift a hand, sneeze, instead of his face showing his real feelings, it was twisted into a cruel smile.

"What's wrong Doctor? Aren't you always trying to help others face their fear?"

John felt fury start to bubble inside his gut, he was being forced to watch the thing torture her, he could feel how excited her tears were making it, how the fine little tremors racking her body were amusing to it.

Then the creature's hand shot out and grabbed her, she tried to hit him with weak little blows that wouldn't have scared a puppy off, it seemed being so close to edge made her too afraid to fight. The creature lifted her up and forced her to stand on the railing, barely able to keep her balance she wavered in the wind.

Standing back the creature took a few minutes to just let her waver there, still crying she tried to stay upright, the worst part was she was asking for him to let her down, to help her, and she was calling it John.

Just as the creature started to get bored a new player walked into the dream.

Teyla walked out and promptly saw Heightmeyer, "Kate, what are you doing?"

Heightmeyer looked away from him to Teyla, her body wobbling even more as the breeze picked up. "I don't want to die."

Teyla walked closer she still hadn't seen him, "Good. Come down from there."

Heightmeyer sobbed a little more looking back at him, the creature's smirk still firmly on his lips, she wobbled more. Then she looked back to Teyla, "I can't."

Teyla frowned, confused, edging towards Heightmeyer a little more she asked; "Why not?"

She cried, big tears running down her face, "Help me! Please!"

That was it, Teyla went to rush forward and that was when the creature stepped out grabbing her arms with bruising force. Teyla looked up at him betrayal, and confusion there, she pushed a little, trying to move him. "John stop it!"

She pushed harder, he didn't budge an inch the damned smirk still there, "Stop it! I have to help her!"

Almost crying Teyla leaned into him trying with all her might to move him, "What are you doing?!"

Shoving at his shoulder her gaze went back to Heightmeyer still on the rail, "John get out of the way!"

"Teyla!"

"Teyla!"

"Kate!" Teyla answered.

Then Heightmeyer screamed. The creature let go and Teyla rushed past him but John didn't need to look to know what the creature knew, Heightmeyer had fallen and was dead.

John sat bolt upright, the creature had let him go. Running a hand over his face, her could feel the cold sweat covering him, anger surged. "Damn fucking thing!" he turned over and slammed his fist into his pillow. It felt good to punch something, so he did it again. Clenching his jaw he held back more words, he had gotten the impression the creature was showing him this to him, like he was it's focus. If that was the case...

It fit, only people he worked with a lot had been targeted, Ronon, Teyla, Keller, Heightmeyer, Slomski, Lorne... it would probably attack a few more friends before coming to him. For him. He kicked his covers off and went for a shower, he needed to calm down if he wanted to be able to leave his room, his burning gold eyes would be a dead give away.

(Week nineteen)

It was a little after lunch when he got the call, rushing just a little he headed for the remodeled isolation room, reaching the observation deck he walked in. Seeing Carter and Keller looking down he looked too, he found Rodney pacing, a nervous shine to his face said he was sweating. "It's in Rodney?"

He found himself unsurprised, but upset all the same, as close as he was to everyone of his team him and Rodney were probably the closest being earthlings. He found himself wondering just a little if the creature had been trying to save the best for last.

He barely listened the Carter telling him what he already knew but felt the need to respond to Keller's comment. "Yeah, well, that doesn't help McKay much, does it? If this thing kills people in their sleep."

"No we've got to find a way to get it out of him."

"Someone want to get me some coffee? I'm already feeling a little tired here." Rodney complained.

"I could give him something to keep him awake for a while, but it'll only work for so long before we star putting him at risk of pulmonary failure." Dr. Keller offered.

Carter nodded, "Yeah, believe it or not I've been there before, too." She stared off a ways away, "Do what you can. We'll try to come up with something." She looked back down into the room, "Hang in there McKay!"

"Oh, thanks. Like I have much choice." his sarcastic drawl making it clear he wasn't that far from freaking out.

He closed his eyes to hide the sure to be lightening eyes, no need to draw attention. He heard Cater start to leave and he followed her out. He followed her all the way to her office, Elizabeth's old office.

Anger controlled, he kept a calm face, Rodney needed him thinking, not shooting or shouting, even though that was what he was good at. "Do you think it knows it's trapped?"

"I don't know. Why?"

He gestured, aware even as in control as he was, he was still angry, this was his fault after all. "Maybe there's a way to..." He exhaled, and inhaled sharpy. "I don't know, talk to it, work something out."

Cater looked down at the floor, a wry smirk on her face, "Being in Dr. Weir's old office made you think of that, didn't it?"

He didn't argue, "Normally I just shoot the bad guys."

Ronon and Teyla were coming, he turned to watch them enter.

"We just heard." Ronon announced.

"There must be something we can do," Teyla sounded anxious, probably because she knew how brutal the dreams were, and how Rodney handled fear.

Carter pushed herself off the desk, standing, "That's what we're just talking about."

She turned to him, "Okay lets say for a second you could somehow communicate with it. What were you planning on saying?"

He clenched his jaw bitting back the truth, he'd try to convince it it had him where it wanted him, make it come after him instead. "I don't know, I hadn't gotten that far."

"It strikes me that if it feeds on fear, or worse, likes the thrill of killing it's host, then..."

He turned back to her, his hands behind him clenched into fists. He knew what she was saying, he just was hoping it was focused on him more then killing; killing was just a way to mess with him.

"Well, it'd take the last chance it had."

"To kill McKay."

Carter closed her eyes, and let out a soft sigh. She wasn't happy he saw where she was going, he felt his nails break the skin on his hands, he knew his eyes if not yellow were burning oddly. If the thing was after him it and it really wanted to hurt him... it'd be a damn good way to do it. He felt his mind race, something anything... "What about survival? It's trapped. Would it die without a living host to transfer to?"

Cater looked back at him but didn't seem to notice anything amiss, "I was hoping not to have to find out."

"We could give it a chance to leave, to go home." Teyla said, grasping it much like he had.

"Back into the crystal?" Carter confirmed.

"Yeah, sure. Why not? We could send it back through the gate back to it's planet."

Carter seemed to be thinking, "I've heard of people being talked through waking dream before... Maybe... Maybe McKay can be hypnotized into a state where he could somehow communicate with it."

"He has successfully meditated into an altered state before." Teyla jumped on the bandwagon.

He hated to shoot it down, "Well, yeah. But only after he'd been genetically altered." He shifted wishing he could pace off a bit more of his temper.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ronon asked. "You want McKay to ask this thing to leave?"

Put it that way and it does sound really stupid, it had after all killed Kate. "We are talking about McKay. Scary things are not exactly his strength." He paced a little, he noted while his hands were sticky, the cuts seem to have healed.

"And he is up against a creature apparently capable of manipulating his subconscious."

He held back a growl, the more they talked this over the more it sounded like the creature had been saving best for last, McKay would be so easy to push over the edge. "If only one of us could be in there with him."

"In McKay's dream?" Carter clarified.

He turned back to her, and wiped the drying blood on the back of his black pants, "Well yes, you know one of us could give him moral support. Keep him calmer."

She was looking at him as if he was glowing, or something equally strange.

"Come on, all the things you've seen, and you haven't seen a way to get into someone's dreams?"

She waved a hand at him, almost a wait sort of motion, and walked off passed Ronon and Teyla, clearly walking with a purpose. He sighed, he wasn't going to enjoy this.

"Where's she going?" Ronon asked watching her leave, "What's going on? He asked looking to him for answers.

He swiped his hands one more time on his pants, "I don't know, but I think I'm going to see a side of McKay I never wanted to see.

"It does not have to be you." Teyla offered.

He held back a snort, "Yeah, well, it's my bad idea." He left the 'I touched the damn rock' out, but Teyla and Ronon knew what he meant. He walked out, ignoring Ronon's confused, "What was?" he needed to know what Carter was after.

Six Hours Later

John held back a sigh, he was going to regret this some how, he was sure.

He ignored Rodney's hissed, "Cold." of course they were cold, why would they be warm? He opened his eyes and watched Dr. Keller's team flutter around them in the annoyingly orange suits, the sounds they made didn't help, but it was his problem that he could hear so clearly.

"You sure about this?" Rodney asked.

He didn't look at him, "Not really."

"I'm pretty screwed up."

He let his head fall sideways, and looked at Rodney, "You're telling me." He settled back in, ridiculous. If he didn't know that by now he was blind, deaf and dumb.

"We're ready if you are." Keller's calm voice came from just over Rodney.

He heard Rodney wiggle around on the bed, settling in, before his friend's nervous voice added to the noisy room. "Thanks."

He stiffened, that was like a punch in the gut, a kick in the teeth, this was his fault and Rodney was thanking him? "I haven't done anything yet."

"For trying!" the man snapped. "And don't say I didn't warn you."

Keller announced she was drugging Rodney and he waited, fifteen then twenty minutes passed and nothing happened. "Nothing's happing here."

Keller answered him, "He's not dreaming yet."

He relaxed and started focusing on his breathing, trying to ignored the beeping of both his and Rodney's heart beats, oddly double because he could hear them along with every other heart in the room but then the monitor was echoing them too. Then Rodney start to breath a little harder, and faster and his heart sped up this was it. And with a strange vertigo sensation he found himself sitting behind Rodney and on the far end of the rowboat the thing was smirking, oddly dry for the pouring rain. "That's not me Rodney."

Rodney looked back at him looking badgered and frightened. "Don't listen to him."

"You're pathetic. You might as well jump in."

The thing was speaking, looking so pleased with it's self, he was right the thing was happy where he was. Rodney looked hurt and confused and looked back at him, "Don't be afraid, just ignore him."

Rodney looked back to the look-a-like up front and groaned, "Oh god. I have to get back. I have to get back. That's my only chance." He started rowing.

That had him looking around a little more, behind him he saw the city all lit up, but it looked to be miles away.

"You're gonna die out here."

"Shut up!" He glared furious all over again. "Rodney don't listen to him."

Rodney snapped, "That's easy for you to say! Why don't you help me row!"

In a blink he was sitting next to Rodney. This was weird but it could be worse, he started rowing while watching the look-a-like. Rodney looked around and then found him. He found himself feeling a touch amused, he'd always liked the twilight zone as a kid and this was a lot like it, random set up, who's the good guy who's the bad, and a few things that don't make sense at first. "You know, this really isn't as strange as you led me to believe."

Rodney looked at him, "Oh yeah? What about him?" he jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

He looked back an saw a dry clown staring back at him, the sad face a little erie in the gloom.

He turned back to the front to glare at the look-a-like, "I hate clowns."

They started rowing again.

The look-a-like spoke up, grim smirk on his face, "You can paddle all you want. You're not going anywhere."

Rodney lost his head,"He's right! I'm going to die out here!"

"He wants you to be afraid Rodney. Don't give him what he wants." he ignored his own simmering temper, this was Rodney's dream and it was unlikely he could hurt him. Not unless Rodney let him, and judging from his lack of gun that wasn't going to happen. "He can't really hurt you."

The harsh sound of his own voice stopped him, "That's where you're wrong."

He looked over the side of the boat and found something coming up under them, a whale. Rodney's fear. There was a sound of rushing water and he jerked awake. The first thing to greet his ears was the sound of beeping monitors and the shouts of the medical team.

He sat up and saw that Rodney had gone in to cardiac arrest. He watched, his own heart sinking, Rodney wasn't responding. He pulled his own monitors off and watched stunned numb, Zelenka stopped long enough to tell him the obvious. "He's in cardiac arrest."

Another minute of chest compression and false breathing and then the team gave up, Rodney was dead.

He sat there and stared, he barely heard Keller's apology, Rodney was gone, the thing had killed his friend. He looked up and saw Teyla's hanging head, and Carter's frown, and Ronon's fists. This was real, Rodney was dead. He got to his feet, he didn't want to sit here and keep staring at his body.

He walked out of the room and none of the medical team stopped him, he was drifting down the hall, and was surprised when Carter, Keller, Ronon and Teyla stopped him, all wearing equal angry faces.

"This is all your fault, John!" Teyla snarled.

He blinked, yes it was but... why would she say that? She had to know he knew it too.

"If you hadn't touched that stupid rock, McKay would still be alive!" Ronon growled.

He felt like he was reeling from a punch, it was true. He'd killed McKay. An ache started, he'd gotten another friend killed.

Carter shouted at him; "I thought you were going help him!"

"I tried." He had tried, the dream thing had been his idea, he'd been there, how was he suppose to know it had enough control to stop McKay's heart?

Keller shook her head, while glaring, "Some friend you are."

"Colonel you've been comprised. I'm relieving you of duty."

He stared at Carter, she was gonna just do that, this moment, not five minutes after his friend died? With no reason? Except that he'd touched the... rock. He looked around and sure enough just passed the four he saw himself, but the scowl was all the look-a-like.

"Son of a bitch." It was in him.

He charged and knocked it through the wall, they were in the gate room. It stood and he did the same, the thing smiled, "I have you to thank, this has been a lot of fun."

He snarled, "You stupid rock!" he tried to calm himself, fight with your head, that's how you win.

The thing shook it's head, "That's the best you can come up with? I can do better." Then he started to change color, his skin took on a bluer tone, his nails grew, his eyes turned yellow.

John knew he was looking at himself if he ever turned more, he already had the eyes when he lost his temper and the claws if he didn't trim his nails. He knew this thing had already half won the fight, he was afraid Rodney was dead, he was afraid of that form, and where he wasn't afraid he was angry. He took a swing and the thing dodged, using Wraith like speed, it hit him and he felt like a truck had hit him. He slid down the wall and barely saw the thing coming for him.

The thing grabbed him and stood him up before kicking him back into the wall. He bounced off the wall and punched the thing solidly in the face, it fell back but kicked him in the leg. He went down and they got up the same time, it punched at him and he ducked trying to punch it in the stomach, it caught his hand and pulled him for two quick hits, one to the chin one the side, it let him go and watched with amusement as he crawled away to stand.

He charged back and took a swing, it spun away under his arm and caught the other one as he tried to punch again, it caught him in the jaw again. He was seeing flashes, that hurt like a son-of-bitch and he still din't know how to get rid of it.

It grabbed his shoulder and the front of his shirt and threw him up the stairs, he landed hard at the top, winded and blind with pain. He could hear it coming up the stairs and he could feel it's sick amusement and the enjoyment it felt at beating him up.

But he couldn't get up, he ached, he'd failed Rodney and he had let Kate die.

Then his own voice spoke over him, "You know what the best part about killing her was?"

He didn't answer, he didn't even try.

"The fact you hate the fact you're glad she'd dead, one less person likely to ask the right questions. You watched and struggled but you didn't try your hardest."

That got him up, he stood and it just slammed a fist in his jaw knock him sideways. It then grabbed him and threw him towards the stairs to one side of the control room, he tumbled up them and groaned as they dug into his back. He pushed himself up and it kicked him in the side sending him rolling across the floor. He struggled up to his feet and it shoved him in to the wall.

He watched as the thing drew back his hand and he dodged noting it punched clear into the wall plaster and whatever the heck it was built with, it crumbled on the floor as it pulled his hand free.

He took another swing and it caught his arm, first it punched his face, then spun lifting his arm up over it's head so it could elbow him in the chest. Two more lighting fast punches and he couldn't pick out which of the six look-a-likes was the right one. He went down on his knees again.

He blinked away the stars and pushed himself up again, it kicked his leg out from under him, back on his knees he tried again.

It kicked his stomach and he half blocked the blow with his hands, stumbling back he noted the balcony was at his back. Then it jumped and kicked him, he had no hope of stopping that one, he flew into the railing and took it with him. Then he hit the ground and bounced, flipping on to his face.

He groaned and tried to remember how to breath, he heard it land gracefully behind him.

He needed to get up, he really did.

"Get up."

Funny how it had echoed his thoughts more then once.

"Get up John. Come on."

He took steading breaths, god he hurt.

"FIGHT!"

He pushed himself over on to his back, "No." he exhaled and then took a slow breath "That's what you want."

The thing felt angry now, it liked him fighting. "It's your fault Heightmeyer's dead. Your fault McKay is dead. You killed Elizabeth and were proud of it."

"I'm not dead!"

He and the thing looked over and he found Rodney walking down the stairs looking proud of himself.

The thing charged Rodney and pinned him against the wall, sharp nails at his throat. He forced himself to his feet, relief running through his veins. He hadn't failed Rodney.

"You can't win."

He smiled, the thing was upset, frightened even. He walked over, hurrying. Rodney looked victorious, "Yes we can you're vulnerable to electric shock. That's why I'm still alive. You.."

He grabbed it's shoulder and ripped it free of McKay, he flung it towards the gate.

Rodney looked at him surprised, and then both their heads whipped around at the screams, it looked strange, his dream? Mind, was warping and lighting was striking the look-a-like.

He looked back at Rodney, and then understood, they were shocking his body, not over the heart, but close enough. He realized why the gate was active, he rushed forward and wrapping his hands in the look-a-likes clothes picked him up and flung him through the gate. He was all set to sigh in relief when Rodney spoke up, "Which one are you?"

He turned, "Me."

"Good you or bad you?"

"Me, me. Are you you?"

"I think so."

He searched for what to say, Rodney had helped him, but this was awkward, this was his head... or a dream. Though he was pretty sure this was his head, and not a dream. "Thanks."

"Okay this is really weird." Rodney said looking side to side.

John noted that the dents from when he'd been smashed around were fixing themselves but that didn't seem to be what Rodney meant. "Yeah."

"I thought there'd be more hot girls."

He turned back to Rodney, what did he take him for? He looked around again, he supposed he got what Rodney meant. "Me too."

"hmm."

Then they woke up, he blinked at the black ceiling, surprise surprise, his worst fear was failing his friends or being the monster that hurt them. This wasn't news. Good news was this monster wasn't going to attack his friends again, just the rest of the galaxy.