Chapter 11 – I'll kiss you in four places
A/N: After the last few excessively long chapters I have decided to take pity on you and post a shorter one. (Actually it was another really long one so I split it in two.) The next one will be up within the week. I'm curious what people's preference are, however. Long chapters or short? Thank you again to Hayseed Socrates who has kindly beta-d this chapter in the midst of Thanks Giving and writing her own material.
A big thank you also to those who have taken the time to review my story. I haven't mentioned it in recent updates but rest assured its very much appreciated. Its always nice to know what works (or doesn't) or that the story is still holding people's interest.
Lisbon's phone rang at 2.07pm. Her heart gave a little skip when she saw the name on the caller ID.
"Hi Patrick."
"Hi Teresa. So… it's just after two. Is it still too early for me to show up on your doorstep?"
Lisbon discreetly peeped out of her window. "Hmm. That depends."
Just the smallest hint of uncertainty exuded from down the phone line. "… depends?"
Lisbon smiled. "Yes it depends on how soon you can cross that street and get over here".
Jane stands in her doorway, a shy smile on his face. The tension in him is visible and his vulnerability makes her heart melt. Wordlessly, Lisbon takes his hand and leads him to her bedroom. It's hard for Teresa to believe this is happening and by the look of Patrick he feels the same. It's a new beginning; their first dawn in Eden. Was Adam as nervous when he first held Eve?
The blinds mellow the harsh afternoon light into a diffuse glow. No need to hurry; time flows as slow and thick and sweet as honey.
Intense but vulnerable; Tender but scared. The equation of desire is balanced; their bodies follow the ancient design. Gentle fingers tease long neglected senses to life. A strong hands cradles a delicate face, their lips meet easily, naturally. Everything is new yet somehow familiar. Small noises and sighs are like soft caresses to their ears. A gentle affirmation all is well.
They slowly undulate as their acquaintance grows more intimate. Smooth little belly set ablaze by wiry hair. A slick steel brush grinding against a straining thigh.
His heart is pounding fit to burst. The intensity is too much and tears begin to well: Scared he can't hold on for long. Scared he can't let go at all.
She hushes and holds him; lets him see her trust, her need. Her soft skin grazes his chest and his mind simply stops and his fears along with it. The aroma of their desire rises like perfume and calls him home. Sheathed in flesh and enclosing flesh in turn. Eyes lost in each other, emeralds floating in a blue/green ocean.
Names whispered, panted, shouted, moaned. Fingers intertwine and then tighten when the sweet, sweet wave carries them up and up and up and up and up till they crest and are cast down together like thunder.
Man and Woman.
Teresa and Patrick.
Together.
The Irish silver brush whispered through Lisbon's hair and she leaned back against the foot of her couch with her eyes blissfully closed. It was evening and she was feeling replete in every sense, suffused with a feeling of enormous contentment. She knew her usual questions and worries would come crowding in all to soon but for the moment they couldn't get past her sense of happiness and release.
A tiny sting in her scalp caused her eyes to snap open.
"Ouch! What was that?"
"A grey hair," Patrick murmured. "It offended me."
Lisbon huffed in mock irritation. "Are you calling me old?"
Jane leaned down and inhaled deeply before planting a kiss on the top of her head. He noted her little shiver of pleasure with great satisfaction. "Far from it. It was a tiny flaw in a sea of perfection. Now that I've removed it your youth is restored."
He ran a gentle finger along her scalp to sooth the tiny hurt. He'd spoken the truth. The thought of grey hairs on Lisbon's head was offensive. Not because it diminished her beauty but rather because it was a stark reminder of the passage of time. They were neither of them young and he sharply felt the sense they'd already spent so much of their allotted time on earth.
Lisbon felt the subtle shift in Jane's body. "What is it?"
"Time." He replied. "I've wasted so much time. This could have happened years ago if only we'd allowed ourselves."
Lisbon slid a hand along the back of his and then gently gripped his arm. "Don't say that Patrick. You're weren't ready and to be honest neither was I. Let's just enjoy the now for the moment. Especially as it's such a very, very good now."
Jane leaned down and kissed her again, this time on the corner of her mouth. Like magic her words of satisfaction made his mood lighten. He grinned big and cheesily. "I still can't believe how good we are together," he confided. "Seriously Teresa. Wow."
Lisbon felt a big smile tug across her face. "Wow," she agreed. "But it does make me scared of going into work tomorrow. One look at me and the game will be up."
Jane resumed brushing her hair. "How do you want to play this? Do we hide we're together or come clean? Tell everyone or just the team? "
Lisbon's sigh was part contented and part vexed. "The team need to know, definitely. The rest can be left guessing as far as I'm concerned."
"Fair enough," Jane agreed. "So how do we refer to each other? I feel kind of old to be calling you my girlfriend and 'partner' is much too ambiguous given we're in law enforcement."
Lisbon pondered. "How about we just say that we're together?"
"Together. Yes. I like that sound of that." The brush strokes continued and Lisbon could feel herself being lulled to sleep. Her mind was still filled with questions and worries but each pass of the brush drove them further away. She allowed herself to be shamelessly indulged until an involuntary yawn dragged all the air from her lungs.
Lisbon tilted her head back until she could make eye contact with Jane. "Patrick, let's go to bed." On this occasion, her wayward consultant had no thought but to obey.
Parting in the morning was hard. Jane pleaded for her to call in sick but it simply wasn't in Lisbon to do so. They'd been out of state all week, only returning early Sunday morning. Lisbon had a week of neglected admin to look through, not to mention two closed cases to finalise.
As she pulled into her parking spot Lisbon blushed at the memory of Jane's attempt at getting her to stay. Ultimately her will had prevailed though she was a good 45 minutes later than she'd initially planned.
She floated past her team on the way to her corner desk. As she powered up her laptop she resolutely ignored the looks passing between Grace, Wayne and Kimball. She tried to concentrate on getting through her backlog but random memories of the Sunday with Jane kept intruding.
He'd woken her at 3am. She'd been grumpy and irritable and nearly told him to leave it until morning, when she belatedly picked up on his anxiety. In a voice that was heartbreakingly vulnerable he'd asked Lisbon to promise not to allow any job related matters to come between them.
After she'd promised he'd hugged her tight and then fallen asleep. Lisbon remained awake, pondering her promise and wondering if she'd made a mistake. She had no regrets about being with Jane - it was wonderful. But at the same time she feared she might have given him carte blanche at work, something that would inevitably spell disaster.
She knew Jane. Knew that for all his attempts at turning over a new leaf he was singularly unable to radically change his ways. Work with him would always be hectic, frustrating and a potential career killer. At the same time, however, it was exciting, very efficient at catching criminals and gave her a zest for life that was otherwise missing. He made the job fun.
Jane eventually made it into the office just before noon. Holding hands, he and Lisbon updated the team on their change in circumstances. As expected, they were supportive though Lisbon winced when Grace's happy squeals reached the Organised Crimes unit on the other side of the floor.
Lisbon worked late that night but Jane kept her company from the comfort of his couch. They left together, Lisbon with a clear conscience for having cleared all her work, and Jane with the hope that he'd be allowed to spend another night at her flat.
Canberra was enjoying an idyllic spring. Crisp mornings warming to glorious days that were not too hot. After solving two cases in a week the team had three weeks of downtime with the few cases sent their way taking next to no time at all. Jane had even solved one of them by placing a call to the officers on the scene and telling them to arrest the level crossing attendant who claimed to have discovered the body.
Lisbon was unconscionably happy, a state that left her apprehensive whenever she allowed herself to think about it. Jane's presence had a tendency to drive every worry out of her head but he wasn't always there. Jane had found himself a new long stay motel, a reminder that for all they were together, there were eccentricities to his nature that would not be easy to shake.
Lisbon refused to have anything to do with depressing, seedy locales so the time they did spend was at work or her flat. Jane tended to spend most of the weekend with her and stay over on a couple of week nights as well. That still left time apart and though Lisbon cherished it, cherished her independence and freedom (not to mention catching up on some much needed sleep), she also found herself missing him more and more.
Though neither of them was young, the sudden blossoming of their long suppressed feelings had fired their libidos. On top of that Jane was something of an insomniac and he either puttered around long after she fell asleep or he spent the first half of the night beside her in bed before getting up to consume several cups of tea while reading one of his innumerable books.
Yes, all in all Lisbon wasn't sorry to have the odd night to herself, to be able to stretch out in her bed however she pleased and not to be woken by strange sounds in the middle of the night. On the other hand, it was those nights where the dark part of her brain started to question what she and Jane had found, and what future was in it.
Her resolve to not over think things, to just take each day as it came was starting to weaken. Jane had come a long way, was actively taking steps to move on but now that he'd made the leap to be with her it seemed like things had stalled. The motels was one thing, his wearing his wedding ring was another, as was the fact he still shared little to nothing of his past and nothing about Charlotte and Angela.
It was one such a night that she picked up Jane's letters in order to distract herself. Her hand fell on his last letter to her, the one she'd cherished so much it was practically memorised. She recalled the day it arrived…
Lisbon had been feeling grumpy and irritable. It was a month since she'd broken up with Jeff and she was still vacillating between feeling a strange sense of relief and belabouring herself for running out on probably her last chance at having a normal life.
Her decision to back out of a relationship that had been nothing but good made her wonder just how much of a damaged mess she was. Was she her own worst enemy, the architect of her own unhappiness? Such was her mental state when she came home and started idly flicking through her mail. She was so distracted she'd shuffled through them twice before registering that there was a letter from Jane. Apart from his postcards she hadn't heard from him in close to a year. She dropped the rest of the mail and ripped it open.
Dear Teresa,
It's been over a year since I left and I find myself thinking more and more of you and the team. I can't say that I'm one hundred per cent Ok ( I doubt I ever will be) but I've reached a point of acceptance with how things have turned out and my part in that.
I miss you. This isn't a new discovery, it's been floating around in my consciousness from the moment I was again capable of rational thoughts. I've spent the year drifting along, coasting from place to place with no fixed plan. No-one who knows me and there's no-one I care about. I'm reaching the point where I'm ready to come home.
I've no idea how you will receive this news, and don't worry, it won't be happening straight away so you have time to… adjust. No doubt I owe you an apology for how I left things, believe me I wish it could have been otherwise. For over ten years you've been my best friend, the reason I was able to keep going. Your capacity for forgiveness has always humbled me and I hope I haven't exhausted it yet. If you need to punch me on the nose to get that process started, well, so be it.
I'm coming back, Teresa. Not this month but soon, and the thought of that fills me with excitement.
Love,
Patrick
PS. Have you gotten any better at keeping a secret? I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the rest of the team. Let me surprise them.
Lisbon let go of the letter and leaned back in her couch. She let her breath gust out in an outpouring of relief. She put a hand to her mouth to try and still the huge smile that threatened to break out.
Jane was OK. He was finally moving past his obsession and best of all he might return to the CBI. As Lisbon contemplated the potential ramifications his return she was aware of two predominant emotions. The first was excitement at the immanent return of her best friend. The second was relief she'd been unaware of Jane's intentions when she ended things with Jeff. That was a decision she'd made purely for herself.
Lisbon carefully placed the letter back amongst her other keepsakes. Jane had come back to her and though there were a few bumps along the way they were together now and it still felt very, very right. God must truly love her.
Lisbon ended the call and slipped her Blackberry into her pocket. God must truly hate her, she reflected ruefully. She'd received a call from Andrew Hegarty, who headed up the Melbourne offices of the Federal Police. Her years of diligent police work and long string of high profile closed cases had finally brought about the tap on the shoulder she'd long deserved. He'd called to encourage her to apply for the role of Coordinator – Fraud and Organised crime. In law enforcement code it meant the job was as good as hers, barring a major cock-up.
Any time up to the last month Lisbon would have been thrilled with the opportunity. A significant step up; she would be managing at least six teams the size of hers, and the job was in Melbourne, her home city, a significant plus. Though she rarely allowed herself to think about it, Canberra wasn't exactly the most exciting place in the world and to be back in a city where they understood proper coffee and quality dining was not to be sniffed at.
Lisbon slumped and rubbed at her temple. The offer was immensely flattering and she had no reason to turn it down. No reason other than the one currently dozing on the couch by the window. Teresa was surprised to discover she was scared, which in turn made her angry. She had always vowed not to be one of those women who sacrificed their career in order to make a relationship work.
And yet, the last eighteen months had woken her up to the knowledge that as much as she loved the job, it would never love her back. At some point her career would be over, did she want to be completely alone when it finally happened? On the other hand if she turned her back on the promotion would anger and resentment begin to colour what she had with Jane? Her track record with relationships was shaky at best. What chance did she have with something this big hanging over her?
Lisbon stood abruptly and began gathering her things. She needed space to think. She was about to leave when Jane began to stir on his couch. She quickly changed direction and took an alternate route to the elevator. She couldn't take the risk of Jane reading her before she knew what she wanted to do.
