I do not own RoTG or GoC.
Like most things, it started small. A cookie nibbled here. A sip of eggnog there. Harmless stuff, really. All the elves were guilty of it.
But he wanted more. So cookies became cakes, and sips turned into gulps. And those gulps turned into gas.
And when he saw that big green cloud, smelled that noxious odour, he knew he had found his calling.
The yetis were not pleased of course. Who likes strings of boogers wiped on toys, or dolls that stink of Christmas farts? Who likes seeing elf drool all over their favourite cup, or finding ear wax on their tooth brush?
This had gone too far, the yetis agreed amongst themselves. He didn't. Grossness was his calling, his solemn vow. But even he had to agree, looking up at North's bootlaces, that regurgitating an entire Christmas turkey was a bit much. Those bones had hurt, coming back up!
"What am I going to do with you?" North was groaning. "All this- grossness you are doing. It needs to stop." The Guardian waved a sword covered in glitter glue and dental cream in front of his face. "Now."
That clearly wasn't going to happen. He shook his belled head fiercely at that, enjoying the sound that it made.
North frowned, and reached a huge hand down, pulling off his hat. "No more. Until you learn better, you will go and help Jack Frost. He may be more tolerating of your mischiefs."
And so he was off to help Jack Frost. He'd heard stories from the other elves. No elf who was sent there ever came back. Might be a problem with the whole mission of grossness.
Jack looked at the little elf that North had sent his way this time. "Okay, so I'm in charge of you now?" He asked, double checking. At his words, the little elf nodded very hard, looking up in confusion when there was no ringing. "And you got kicked out for being gross?"
More nods, and Jack grinned. "Excellent. I've got a job for you. Florida, nice and hot. Watch out for the alligators. You ready to hear what it is?"
The elf nodded again.
"Your most solemn mission, to help bring fun and games to the children… Is to start three games of hopscotch. Go! Do not fail me!"
The elf took off, and Jack had to bite back his laughter for a moment. This was going to be good!
Two days later, five continents, twelve angry policemen, and a very confused African parrot saw Jack looking down at the little elf, covered from head to toe in walrus snot.
Jack blinked. "Well, the children liked it." He reasoned. "Good job, A for effort."
The little elf giggled, and ran off, eager to 'help' some more. Jack cringed at the sound of breaking glass, and a little old lady screaming at the "tiny pointy man eating her cookies!" and laughed.
Jack gets the naughty elves. They are gross. And awesome. Feel free to come up with a name for this guy, 'cause I got nothing.
