Sorry again for how long it took. the end of a story is always the hardest for me. i'm thinking another three chapters or so, and i'm just trying to wrap everything nice all nicely and smoothly and in a way that makes sense and doesn't leave out any important chunks of information. so, if there is more time between updates, i give my sincerest appologies, but its just me trying to ensure perfection, and that this story doesn't end up going on for ten years ((which i'm sure some of you wouldn't mind haha))

enjoy :)


After the performance, Cat's parents drove back together in Mr. Valentine's car and Cat used her mother's car to drive Jade back to the hospital. But, the two girls decided to take the scenic route. They just had too much to talk about.

They sat in the car in almost total silence, with nothing more than the quiet chords of random songs playing over the radio and the soothing hum of the engine roaring beneath them. Night had fallen long ago and stars twinkled in the sky above them as Cat drove further and further from the lights of the city.

Jade didn't ask questions. She was just happy to be around Cat again. She had thought she could handle being without the redhead. She thought that she was making the right choice for both herself and Cat by letting the sweet girl go. Jade never expected to feel as if she was being torn in two. She never expected this energetic smiling bundle of glittery rainbows to make Jade so happy that losing her felt like dying.

Cat drove the car to a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. Jade looked ahead of her and did not see a single light ahead of her. Cat turned on the high beams to illuminate the road.

"I hope you know where you're going," Jade said suddenly, disrupting the silence of the car. The amusement was evident in her voice. "You've told me that you're not exactly direction savvy."

"Trust me," Cat said.

Trust. That was such an insane concept to Jade. Trust is difficult. It can take a lifetime to earn. Yet, people throw it around so freely. They ask you to trust them when they wouldn't trust you. Trust is the most important part of your life because it essentially is having blind faith.

Jade had been hurt too many times to be able to trust so freely. She trusted her brother to be her big brother and take care of her and always be there for her. She trusted her mother to be strong and gentle and to be Jade's rock whenever things went wrong. She trusted her father to be her protector and her superhero.

Every person Jade ever trusted has let her down.

She looked out in front of her and saw the lights exposing the sandy desert around them. In the distance, Jade saw the silhouettes of rocks lying in the shadows of the night.

Cat turned off the road and the car bumped and jumped slightly with the rocky terrain underneath it. Jade glanced into the side mirror and saw the bright lights of the city in the horizon far behind them, shrinking smaller with every passing moment.

Jade wasn't going to say that she was without nerves. This is Cat; the bubbly redhead who sometimes acts like she's free of the burdens of the world. This is the girl who was protected and loved. The girl whose own naivety may be the very thing that even drew her close to the danger that was Jade. The girl who admittedly wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

But Jade was willing to try something new.

She was willing to try to trust Cat.

The car pulled to a stop and Cat shut off the engine. She opened the door and Jade watched as she walked to the front of the car and jumped onto the hood. Cat lay down on her back.

"What are you doing?" Jade laughed.

Cat didn't say anything. A few quiet moments passed and Jade internally shrugged before she climbed out the car door and perched herself beside Cat.

It was when she looked up that she saw it.

Growing up so close to the city, Jade never saw the sky in its entirety. She never got the chance to see the clusters of tiny stars scattered in every direction. She saw a couple stars, sure, but nothing like the breathtaking immensity of the night sky that she saw now. She gasped at the sight.

"I know," Cat whispered. Her quiet voice seemed appropriate given the vastness of the world around them. "Sometimes I just come out here to think. I guess it's just like you with the roof. I love coming out here and just getting away from the lights and the noise every so often."

Jade shifted onto her side and looked at Cat while she spoke, but Cat's eyes remained on the sky.

"Don't get me wrong," Cat continued. "I love the city. I love everything about the city. But when I have a problem or there's something on my mind, I always drive out here. It makes you realize how huge the world really is, and it makes you feel so small. And then, your problems are tiny in comparison, and it makes you realize that your problems aren't really problems at all."

"Is that why you brought me out here?" Jade asked. "For me to think about my problems?"

"Kinda," Cat admitted. "I thought that maybe you'd be more comfortable talking about your feelings if you felt alone. That way, it's like there is no one watching; no one judging."

"My feelings?" Jade snorted. "Why?"

"Because talking about feelings helps."

Jade paused.

"But I'm not good with feelings," she said. "I never have been. It's not like I don't have them, like most people think. I just think that they're overwhelming. I'd rather hide everything than have to deal with all the consequences that come along with feeling."

"But when you hide things, it makes people think that you're heartless and cold."

Jade shook her head. "People like me, the people who wear masks aren't cold at all. We feel so much and so strong that we need to hide it before our feelings just take over. They're a defense mechanism."

Cat nodded. "My daddy once told me that sometimes, the most fragile hearts are the ones that need the most guarding."

Jade sighed and turned so she was staring back at the stars. Cat was right. Or, her father was right, rather. But the fact that the words came from Cat's mouth like pure poetry struck a chord within Jade.

Every moment that the two spend together now just reminds her of every moment that they spend apart. And, it makes Jade think that she had let go of her just a bit too easily and that the reason that everything felt wrong was because she's Jade and she's Cat and Jade's only ever felt whole when they were together.

"You could just let it out," Cat said, sitting up and crossing her legs.

"What do you mean?"

"Scream." Jade saw Cat's eyes twinkling in the moonlight.

"Scream?" Jade sat up as well. "Why?"

Cat shrugged. "It's cathartic. It'll make you feel better. And we're out in the middle of the desert. No one will be able to hear you."

Silence fell over the two girls again. Jade watched as Cat's eyes seemed to dig into a deep part of Jade's soul. A vulnerable and very dark place that Jade had buried under walls and walls of self-protection.

Jade felt a scream beginning to build up inside of her, clawing violently at the walls of her throat. It began as a low grumble, gradually building up into a screeching crescendo. She shut her eyes and just felt, exactly like Cat wanted her to do.

Jade's throat burned with each passing second, but she didn't stop until she was at a loss of breath. Her insides felt like they were on fire and her chest heaved as she tried to control her air intake once again.

Cat scooted over closer to Jade and snuggled up against the taller girl. She gently left a trail of kisses along Jade's jaw, down to her neck and collar bone. Cat's kisses were like secrets on Jade's skin that the redhead had inscribed with invisible ink; secret promises of love and trust and everything that Jade was starting to learn again.

Cat placed a final kiss on Jade's lips and then snuggled even closer, and Jade absentmindedly stroked the red velvet hair.

"Thank you, Kitty," Jade said. "For bringing me out here."

There was a moment of silence and Jade felt Cat's lips form a smile against her shoulder. Cat pulled away just enough to look Jade in the eye.

"You called me kitty."

Jade thought of something to say, but she was coming up blank. Had she really referred to the girl as kitty?

Cat smiled wider and rested her head against Jade once again. "I like it," she whispered. Jade smiled and closed her eyes, resting her face in Cat's red hair and breathing in her intoxicating scent.

"How can you just forgive me like this?" Jade asked. She felt Cat shift in her arms slightly, but the shorter girl did not look up.

"Because I get it. I know why you did it. You're afraid of being loved, because you're afraid of hurting the people you love."

The two girls remained silent for the next hour as they watched the stars above their heads. Catarina yawned and Jade decided it was time for her to go back to the hospital so that Cat could go home and get some rest.

"Will I see you soon?" Jade asked as she climbed out the car door. She looked at the large brick building to her left. It was both her penitentiary and her safe-haven.

"Of course," Cat said with a smile. Jade shut the door and watched as Cat blew her a kiss through the glass window before driving away.

When Cat pulled up to her own house and walked in through the front door, she was surprised to see the light on in the living room and her father sitting on the couch. It was close to being eleven at night.

"Daddy," Cat said. "What are you still doing up?"

"Did you have fun with Jade?"

"Yeah," Cat said with a smile. "I did. I really like her, daddy."

Mr. Valentine nodded, and Cat saw pain in his eyes. "I didn't do what I did to allow the two of you to get together," he admitted. "I did it because I saw how broken up you were and how pained she was, and I just wanted to see if the two of you could mend things. I never intended for a relationship to blossom from that."

Cat frowned. "Do you not approve, or something?"

He shook his head. "She broke your heart to pieces, but you still love her. She could do a little Irish jig over the broken pieces of your heart, and you would just pick it right up off the floor and hand it back to her. You do realize that she is going to hurt you again, right? That's what people like her do. They hurt people."

"People like her?" Cat said with a frown. "No daddy. I've hurt her more."

"You didn't do anything to her. When she does it again, remember that I had warned you."

"She's not going to hurt me!" Cat's voice trembled as it grew to almost being a yell. "Jade is not a monster!"

"Yes she is, Catarina!" Mr. Valentine got up off the couch and towered over his petite daughter. "You know what she did to those girls. You know. What more proof do you need to convince yourself that she is a terrible person?"

Cat paused and just looked at her father. She knew that he was trying to protect her, but against the wrong thing. Cat lowered her voice back to her normal level. "A monster doesn't know that they're a monster."

Mr. Valentine furrowed his brow. "What?"

"A monster isn't sad about the things they do. A monster doesn't regret their actions afterwards. A monster doesn't make themselves strong enough to leave the girl that they love because they're afraid of hurting someone they care about."

Mr. Valentine shook his head. "Catarina, that's not possible. Jade is incapable of feeling any of those things. I've spoken with her hundreds of times since she was admitted."

"Just because you spoke with her doesn't mean that she ever really talked to you. Not about the truth. Not about how she feels. Jade is funny like that."

Seconds passed between the two of them and Cat could almost see the gears working inside her father's head. "You mean to tell me that Jace said that she felt those things? And you think that she's being honest?"

"Yeah," Cat said. "What difference does it make?"

"Catarina. It means that Jade can feel."


So, i don't know is i truly like the way i wrote it. in my head, i always had it that the reason that Mr. Valentine had even pegged Jade as being a psychopath is because she didn't show any remorse for her actions or any type of real feelings. But, the reason that she didn't was because she was too afraid to and she just didn't trust him enough to expose that part of her to him. probably could have been written out better, but oh well.

Reviews make me smile :)