Risks and Rewards
Description: Elijah has a new year and a new mission, but this time Light won't be so cooperative. Let the battle of ideology begin.
Disclaimer: Death Note is still not mine. Go figure.
A/N: All right, the kids are in school, my computer is fixed (quite the saga, I tell ya), and I'm ready to get back into action. I'm going to shoot for an update a week. Let's see if I make it. ... crosses fingers ... Thanks for everyone's patience and support!
My thanks to MoonlightShadowLovesQow for pointing out a rather gaping plot hole back in Chapter 8 which I have now fixed. Guess that's what I get for trying to do multiple stories at once. Oh well.
Chapter 12
Having Sayu around, Light had decided, was a truly wonderful thing.
"I'm not wearing those!"
"They don't hurt, I promise."
"But they're pink!"
"You're not going out. No one will see them."
"But ... but they're pink!"
Elijah had wedged himself into the chair, his body pressed so hard into the crease between side and back that Light suspected they'd need a crowbar to get him out. His large blue eyes were nearly twice their normal size as they stared in abject horror at the object in Sayu's hand. It was a very simple package: a sheet of flimsy cardboard, one side decorated with gaudy, eye-catching colors, and a small pocket of attached plastic to hold the product. The items inside the pocket were plastic themselves, small and thin, and very definitely pink.
"They'll keep you from biting your nails," Sayu insisted, waving the little package of fake fingernails back and forth in front of him. "Believe me, these are more effective and less embarrassing than me attacking your hands with nail polish."
Elijah was clearly unconvinced. "I do not require anyone's assistance in regards to my fingernails," he stated angrily, "and I absolutely refuse to wear those things."
As a familiar pout settled over his sister's face, Light decided it was time for him to step in. "That's not true, 'Lij, and you know it. If you didn't need help, you would have stopped biting your nails after the tabasco sauce incident, just so that you wouldn't have to experience something like that again." Elijah's defiant glare crumpled into a defeated frown, forcing Light to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing. "Tell you what," he bargained, "as long as you can keep your hands away from your mouth, you won't have to wear the press-on nails, but the second I see them anywhere near your face, I'm calling Sayu."
His friend glowered at him, but his hunched shoulders and empty eyes told Light that he had won. "Fine," Elijah mumbled, then promptly shoved his hands beneath his body and sat on them. Sayu clucked her tongue at him, obviously disappointed that she couldn't perform a makeover on the blond, and wandered away. Footsteps on the stairs a few moments later indicated that she had taken the package to her room.
With peace restored now that his sister had left, Light returned to the newspaper in his hands. Across from him, Elijah looked out the window and sulked, no doubt irritated that Light had informed Sayu of his summer quest to rid Elijah of his nail-biting habit. To the girl's credit, she had immediately come up with a remedy that no one else had considered and bought the needed supplies with her own limited spending money. She no longer thought of Elijah as a dating prospect -- much to Light's relief -- and instead had declared him to be a second older brother, giving her free rein to jump right into the whole fingernail situation and essentially take over. Light had the feeling that Elijah would never forgive him completely, not that he cared if it meant his friend would stop biting his damn nails.
This recent confrontation had been the only excitement in an otherwise lazy Saturday, and at the moment, Light was enjoying the lack of anything important to do. He had no responsibilities, no real plans, no reason to try to accomplish anything. It was just a day to sit in the air-conditioning, relax, and enjoy summer. Considering how much conflict had been going on within the brunet, how many unfamiliar thoughts and feelings had been wriggling pathways through his mind over the past few weeks, he couldn't help but relish the emotional emptiness that came with something as mundane as sitting and reading the paper.
A sudden sharp poke to the head destroyed this momentary calm and snapped Light out of the article he was reading. He tilted his head back to stare with irritation into a pair of sparkling black eyes. Sayu had returned.
"I'm bored, oniisan," she told him.
"And?" he replied, pretending to return to his newspaper. "Why is this my problem?"
"Because I'm your guest," she insisted, poking him again, this time in the shoulder. "Entertain me."
Light sighed. He was rapidly rethinking his early appreciation for his sister's presence. "Weren't you going to go to a bunch of concerts while you were here?"
"Otoosan wouldn't pay for them."
"That doesn't surprise me." His eyes flicked across the room to a long-fingered hand that was creeping upwards towards pale lips. "Elijah," he warned, and the hand instantly buried itself in the cushions again, accompanied by an angry glare from narrowed blue eyes.
Another poke in the shoulder. "Entertain me."
"Entertain yourself," he shot back. "There's a TV, a computer in my room, and tons of books. Find something to do."
"Onii-san …"
"Don't 'onii-san' me. I'm busy."
"No you're not. You're just reading."
"Exactly! I'm busy reading. Now stop bugging me or --"
The shrill ring of the telephone cut off Light's threat. Sighing gently, Elijah uncurled himself from the chair to answer it. Light's eyes followed him, his amusement returning as the older man carefully gripped the receiver with the pads of his fingers. Months of comments and encouragement from Julie had convinced Elijah to stop touching everything like it was diseased, but Light had yet to see the blond's palm actually make contact with anything.
"Hello?" Elijah said in his usual bored tone. A second later, his expression softened into a smile. "Oh, hello, Annie. … Fine. … He's fine, too. How are you?" Light shifted his attention back to his newspaper as Elijah continued to respond to the girl on the other end, using two words at a time at most. His gaze flew back to his friend, however, when the older man jumped slightly and a guilty and half-panicked tone entered his voice. "No," he said, "I haven't. … Yes, but … . No, but … . But Annie, I … . No, it's not his fault." Blue eyes shot him a worried glance, causing Light to lay the paper down in his lap and lean forward a bit in concern. "No, really, it's not," Elijah insisted. He listened to the girl for a moment, eyes growing wider and wider with each word she spoke. "No! That's really not a good idea! … I know, but they don't exactly get along. … But … But Annie … ! … yes … yes … okay. Good-bye, Annie."
The receiver clicked back into place. Elijah just stood there, fingertips resting on the phone, head and shoulders bowed, bangs hiding his eyes from Light's gaze.
Light waited a full thirty seconds before giving in to his impatience. "What the hell happened?" he demanded.
Elijah flinched but said nothing for another twenty seconds. Just as the younger man was about to lose it completely, he stated, "That was Annie."
Light resisted the urge to growl. "I figured," he replied dryly. "What did she want?"
"She wanted to know how I was. How you were. How our summers were going."
"And?"
"And," Elijah sighed, realizing he could no longer avoid it, "she asked if I had done anything else on my list. When I told her no --"
"-- she got upset at me," Light finished, leaning back in his chair again. His anxiety rapidly melted away. Picking up the paper again, he commented lightly, "All right, I get it. It's no big deal. Let me finish this article and then we'll go upstairs and pick out a few to do so you can call her back and make her happy."
"What list is this?" Sayu asked, hanging over the back of his chair and letting her hair spill down over his shoulder and right over the words he was trying to read.
"Last winter, Elijah made a list of things he had never done and wanted to do," he explained, brushing her hair away. "Our friend Annie has made it her personal mission to help him cross as many things off that list as possible."
"Oh, neat! Can I help?"
"Sure. I don't see why not."
"Light." Elijah's quiet voice cut straight into Light's mind, somehow ripping apart the peace he had regained. Surprised, he lifted his gaze to find that his friend still had not moved.
"What is it, 'Lij?"
"She's not just upset at you," Elijah answered, his voice a flat monotone. "She's decided you can't be trusted with such an important task as helping me accomplish the things on my list. She's decided to ask someone else to do it."
Light furrowed his brow, all his anxiety returning in a rush. "Who?"
Blue eyes finally lifted and gazed apologetically at brown. "Charlie."
In the horrified silence that followed, Sayu looked from one young man to the other curiously, tipped her head to the side, and asked, "Who's Charlie?"
xXx
Elijah should have known that this would happen. Logically, it made perfect sense. Both girls were exuberant, extroverted, and full of fiery spirit. As long as they didn't step on each other's toes in any way, they would be the best of friends, and Elijah doubted Sayu would be around long enough for that to happen. Dramatically, it also made perfect sense. Light despised Charlie and vice versa; of course, Charlie would be drawn towards Light's little sister, if for no other reason than to make Light's life even more of a living hell when she was around. Really, this outcome had been painfully obvious from all angles.
It still made him smirk, though, to think about Light's eventual reaction.
"Okay, this one should be easy," Charlie stated, pointing to one of the pieces of paper that held Elijah's list. "Lily has a bike you can borrow, and it doesn't take that long to learn how to ride. Just lots of practice."
Sitting next to her on the padded bench, Sayu clapped her hands together and pointed to a different spot. "Ooo! Build a sandcastle! I want to do that! I definitely want to go to the beach while I'm here."
"Oh yeah!" Charlie agreed, flashing her a bright smile. "That'll be a lot of fun! You brought a swimsuit, right?"
"Of course. Hopefully I can even have a little summer fling with a cute American boy. That will really set my father off." She giggled into her milkshake while Charlie laughed uproariously. Across from them, Lily gently shook her head and Elijah rolled his eyes while spooning another bite of sundae into his mouth.
Light had, unsurprisingly, refused to come with them to the ice cream parlor to discuss Elijah's list. He had almost forbidden Sayu to come as well, but then Elijah had taken him aside and promised to make Charlie swear not to mention Kira ever in the younger girl's presence. So far, the blonde had kept to her word, and truly, Elijah doubted it would ever cross her mind to break it. The two females were having far too much fun being … well … female to allow a darkness like Kira to enter into their joyful minds.
A soft touch to his elbow drew Elijah away from the plotting girls in front of him and to the much quieter girl at his side. She smiled at him in her soft, shy way as she asked, "Elijah, why did you write this list?"
He shrugged with one shoulder and answered, "I was depressed." She did not need to know that the reason he had been depressed was because he had known that he had been scheduled to die in two months at the time.
"I see," she replied, dark eyes straying to her own ice cream which she had barely touched. It had been a long time since he had talked to Lily about anything other than Kira, and he had forgotten just how interesting she could be. She said almost nothing, yet her eyes, her small smiles, and her hands often told him what her voice did not. And if she had pencil and paper in her hands, she could speak volumes.
"What do you do when you're depressed?" he asked, genuinely curious to learn a bit more about her.
A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth, but he could see it was not a happy one. "I draw," she answered simply. Then, more quietly, she added, "Sometimes I think it's the only thing I'm good at."
Elijah lifted an eyebrow at the sad undertones of her statement. The thought of Lily feeling bad about herself didn't sit well with him for some reason. After a moment of thought and another bite of ice cream, he replied gently, "I think it would be a blessing to be as talented in something as you are in art. Even if it is your only talent, which I doubt."
Lily turned to him, and finally there was a real smile on her face. "Thank you, Elijah," she said, her voice stronger than a moment ago. "You truly are kind. It's no wonder that everyone likes you."
This statement made Elijah blink to himself for a moment. He knew that other people liked him, but he had never realized how pleasant it was to hear it said out loud. "Everyone …" he echoed, zeroing in on that word choice.
"Yes," Lily replied, her smile deepening. "Professor McCormick and her husband, Charlie, Annie, and Kim, Ethan and Mark, Light and now Sayu. They all like you very much."
She had left someone out, and he noticed it immediately. Something strange fluttered in his stomach at both the omission and the question that was rising in his throat. Looking down into calm, dark eyes, Elijah couldn't help but ask, "And what of you, Lily? Do you like me?"
To his surprise -- or perhaps not -- Lily's cheeks were suddenly dusted in light pink, and her eyes fled from his gaze to the melting ice cream in front of her. "I've finished those pictures," she said in a blatant change of subject. "The ones of you and Light. Would you like to see them?"
Elijah's lips quirked slightly as his thumb slipped between them. She had avoided the question, but he could read the answer all the same. "Yes," he replied to her. "I would."
"Okay. When you come over to learn how to ride a bike, I'll show them to you."
"All right."
He returned to his sundae, new thoughts and old memories melding together in his mind. Light always seemed to be rather insistent on setting Elijah up with Lily, but Elijah had always brushed it off as the brunet's attempt to be annoying. Now, he wondered if perhaps Light had seen something he hadn't. Light had far more experience with women and relationships than he did after all. If there was anything to see, undoubtedly Light would see it first.
Even if there was something, however, Elijah knew he didn't want a girlfriend. Certainly not this year when he had a mission to fulfill, strategies to plan, and battles to fight. If he succeeded and received a second life as a reward, then he would have the time to consider romance, although truthfully, he couldn't see himself being interested in it even then. Romance just wasn't his style. Sayu may have proclaimed him a "keeper", but he didn't really feel like being kept by anyone, or keeping anyone else for that matter. Not even Lily.
Although, he had to admit, being with Lily was nice. Elijah paused in his thoughts and glanced at the girl next to him out of the corner of his eye. She had gone back to playing with her ice cream, every so often putting a small spoonful into her mouth. Elijah watched her hands as they moved, allowing his thoughts to wander once more.
No, he didn't want to belong to anyone and he didn't want to be anyone's boyfriend, but it might be nice to have someone to just be with. Someone other than Light. His best friend had the tendency to command attention, even when he was relaxing, as if expecting that the entire universe hang on his every word and movement. Elijah didn't mind it -- that was just Light -- but it was tiring to be around after a while. Hanging out with Lily, he realized, would be extremely peaceful. All they would need would be a sketchpad and a puzzle book, and there would be quiet without silence, calm without isolation, and peace without solitude. It would be very nice.
He didn't want to kiss her, he certainly didn't desire her, but maybe when this was all over, if he was still around, he would ask her to spend some time with him, just the two of them. Yes, Elijah thought to himself as he finished off his ice cream. He rather liked the sound of that.
xXx
He stood in the rain in the middle of a city sidewalk. One hand held the umbrella over his head while the other sat in the pocket of his trenchcoat, opened in the front and billowing slightly behind him from the wind. The puddles around his feet reflected the lights from the buildings all around him, and a streetlight shone down on him, illuminating the area where he stood. His expression, however, clearly showed that nothing in his immediate surroundings mattered to him. His face held dissatisfaction, a hint of loneliness, and his gaze traveled off to the right and slightly down, beyond the reach of the canvas as it sat upon the easel, and towards another gaze that came from a second painting, held at the proper height in the artist's hands.
This picture was much simpler: a rocky mountaintop and a blue sky dotted with white clouds. There on the top of the mountain sat the fallen angel with his bare feet, his dark clothing, and his ethereal black wings. His face also held discontent and a soft kind of sadness that only those who have been expelled from Heaven can understand. His gaze traveled to the left and slightly upwards so that when the two paintings sat side by side, the two men, each unhappy and alone, looked directly into each other's eyes and formed an unmistakable, powerful connection.
"Oh. My. God," Sayu breathed, the first words spoken since Lily had shown them the finished paintings a full three minutes ago. "That's just amazing! Oniisan, you look so sexy and cool, and Elijah-niichan … !" Her voice failed her, and she just stared, apparently unable to verbalize her appreciation anymore.
Elijah stepped in for her. "They are truly wonderful," he said, smiling quietly at the girl who was trying to hide her bright red blush behind too-short hair. "They are meant to hang side-by-side and one slightly below the other?"
"Yes," Lily replied, trying and failing to look at him in her extreme embarrassment. "They each work as individual portraits, but putting them together significantly increases the emotional power of each."
"I agree," Elijah nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets, presumably to keep from biting on them. Turning to the man beside him, he asked, "What do you think, Light?"
Light swallowed his initial overwhelming admiration and smiled at Lily as he answered, "I think they're stunning, and I'm honored to have been a model for one of them."
Lily blushed even deeper, if that were possible, and hung her head a little more. "Thank you," she mumbled. Unable to take any more praise, she turned away to lay Elijah's portrait on her desk before taking Light's down from the easel and putting that one away as well.
As her friend busied herself with cleaning up and hiding from everyone's eyes, Charlie called out from the doorway, "As soon as she can, she'll make prints for everyone. Now come on, 'Lij. You've got a bike-riding lesson to endure."
Light watched in amusement as Elijah's eyes widened and his hands fidgeted in his pockets. The older man had been doing very well lately with not biting his nails. That was probably due in no small part to Sayu's tendency to follow him around with the package of press-ons. At this rate, Elijah was certain to break his nail-biting habit, but he would also most likely begin to have rather violent panic attacks whenever confronted with the color pink. It seemed like a perfectly fair trade to Light.
While these thoughts were passing through his mind, Charlie had reached into the room and claimed Elijah, pulling him from Lily's small workroom and down the stairs to the front yard. Light followed a few steps behind, Sayu on his arm, leaving Lily to join them once she had recovered from her embarrassment.
"Oniisan," Sayu said once they stood outside together, watching Charlie pull the bike out from the garage. "You don't like her very much, do you?"
"Who?" he asked. "Charlie? No, I don't."
"Why?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Although it didn't make him happy that his sister and the blonde bitch had almost instantly become friends, he had accepted what had happened. He knew what was coming next, however, and he didn't appreciate it. "She's loud and obnoxious, occasionally rude, and always poking her nose into places where it's not wanted. I don't like how heavy-handed she is or how she doesn't respect other people's opinions. She's foul-mouthed, stubborn as hell, and I just don't like her, Sayu. Honestly, I can't see how anyone could like her, especially not a sweet girl like Lily or a smart, cheerful girl like you."
Sayu said nothing in response for a few minutes, just watching quietly as Charlie helped Elijah put on a helmet and knee pads. Then, just as the teacher was ordering the student to climb onto the bike for the first time, she replied quietly, "She is loud and stubborn, and I can see how her dedication to her friends would cause her to step into matters that are none of her concern. But you could just as easily say that she's earnest, tenacious, and loyal. It just … I don't know … depends on how you look at it, I guess." She threw him a small smile and added, "Maybe you should give her a second chance. You never know, you might surprise yourself."
His once-bratty little sister looked so mature in that one moment that Light had to fight away a wave of shock that flooded over him. All his previous thoughts about her came back in full force: how she was right there on the edge of adulthood and needed to be protected, now more than ever. Light felt his heart clench in a painful mix of love, pride, and fear, and he found himself unable to respond. Thankfully, Sayu did not appear to want a reply for she turned back to watch the lesson in progress, still smiling to herself.
When Light returned his attention to the driveway as well, he found that a fight had broken out between student and teacher. Charlie was trying to get Elijah to hold onto the handlebars properly, and Elijah was demanding a scientific explanation as to why he couldn't hold on with just his fingertips. Unable to give an answer or simply unwilling to try, Charlie rolled her eyes and slammed her own hands down on his, squashing them against the handlebars and ripping a high-pitched yelp from the blond that had Light biting his lip to keep from laughing.
"Oh dear, is there trouble already?"
Light turned at the quiet voice to find that Lily had joined them outside and was walking towards him, her normal soft smile back in place.
"No, not really," he replied. "Just Elijah being his normal strange self."
"Ah, but that's part of his charm," the girl laughed. "Don't you think so, Sayu?"
"Absolutely!" She grinned and winked at her brother who just shook his head in bemusement.
The three watched as the bike started to move, Charlie holding onto the back of the seat and keeping it steady as Elijah got the feel of riding. As Sayu cheered in encouragement, the pair zigzagged out of the driveway, turned right, and headed down the street, gradually picking up speed.
"How long do you think it will take for him to get the hang of it?" Lily asked as they disappeared behind a row of hedges.
"Probably not long," Light replied, "considering it took him all of two minutes to learn how to skate."
They fell silent for a while, simply waiting. A minute or so later, Elijah and Charlie passed by again, the student frowning intently at the shaking wheel in front of him and the teacher running along behind, shouting encouragements and tips. They disappeared in the other direction, this time behind a tree as the road curved. Another minute passed, and they came by again.
As they disappeared for the third time, Lily turned to Sayu and asked, "Are you looking forward to our trip to the beach this weekend?"
"Oh, yes!" Sayu replied with a wide grin. "Very much so. It's been so warm lately that it'll feel really good to go for a swim."
"Yes," Lily agreed, "it has been warm. I --" She trailed off and her eyes widened as Elijah appeared again, this time by himself.
Sayu followed her shocked gaze and whooped with excited joy. "All right, Niichan! Way to go!"
Elijah glanced up at her in confusion. As he took in the sight of both girls cheering for him, he seemed to notice Charlie's absence for the first time. His eyes widened and his back straightened as he twisted around to look for her. Of course the sudden action made him lose his balance, and a second later he was sprawled on the street with the bike on top of him.
"Oh! Elijah!" Lily cried, sprinting off to help him just as Charlie finally appeared, shaking her head and laughing.
"What happened, McCormick?" she asked, squatting down to help Lily untangle him. "You were doing just fine there and then, boom!"
"You let go," Elijah griped, checking himself for injuries.
"Of course I let go," she replied with a grin. "I'm not going to run along behind you forever. Even I don't have that much energy."
Light had been laughing ever since Elijah had gone bug-eyed with realization, but now a hand touched his shoulder and made him stop. He turned to find his sister looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face.
"Sayu … ?"
"I like your friends, oniisan," she told him solemnly. He furrowed his brow at her in confusion, but before he could comment, she continued, "You never used to talk much about your friends. I knew you always had them, but you never used to hang out with them or bring them home or talk about them." She smiled a little as she admitted, "I was too self-absorbed in myself and my own friends to notice much or care, but now that I'm thinking back on it, I've realized. You never really liked those friends much, did you, oniisan?"
Light said nothing, not knowing if she wanted him to respond and not knowing what to say if she did. His silence obviously did not bother her, for she continued, "These friends, though, you like. I've only been here three days, and I think I've seen you smile and laugh more than I did the whole year before you left. You talk about them, too. That Ethan person and the girl who called the other day, Annie. And of course, Elijah-niichan. He's very special to you. I like that."
Carefully, Sayu stepped up close to her brother, slipped her arms around his waist, and laid her head on his shoulder. On instinct, Light's arms encircled her, but a heartbeat later, he willingly pulled her closer into a warm hug and rested his own head on hers.
"I'm really happy for you, oniisan," she told him.
"Thank you. I'm … happy, too."
Amazingly, that statement wasn't just an automatic platitude. It was true. He had his sister in his arms, his friends nearby, and the prospect of a wonderful summer. He wasn't bored with life, sick of his peers, or disgusted with the world. He was here, in the moment, and for a while at least, all following moments promised more of the same. He was, as unbelievable as it seemed, actually quite happy.
"Good," Sayu replied to his admission. She pulled out of his arms and tapped him once on the nose as she finished, "Because you've been far too gloomy and serious lately. You need someone to remind you how to have fun and enjoy life. Dedication to your studies or your job is good, but you can't let it consume you or you'll lose yourself. And I'm not going to stand by and watch that happen to someone I love as much as you, got that?" She poked him once in the chest and flashed him a bright smile, but before he could answer, she was gone, off to talk to Lily and Charlie who had just gotten Elijah going again. Left behind with the memory of her warmth against him, Light smiled to himself and shut his eyes.
It seemed he wasn't the only one who wanted to cherish and protect someone else. And that, perhaps, made him feel the happiest of all.
