Adrian woke to the distinctive sound of hair being cut. It made a snick sound, the little twang of a sharp blade and then a crackle when the hair hit the coals in the fireplace. There were only dark embers now and a pale grey light came into the room from behind the curtains.

Loghain had carried her to the bed after they made love on the floor in front of fireplace and she'd fallen asleep to him propped up on an elbow beside her, twirling her curls around his fingers and occasionally brushing her cheeks with his knuckles. It had felt so comforting; his warmth, the soft, distracted look on his face from the lack of tension around his eyes and the little twitch of a grin on the corner of his mouth.

He made her feel safe, and she knew there wouldn't be much safety in the coming days, so she soaked in his attentions like a sponge. She hadn't intended to go to sleep, it had just stolen over her, much as he expected, she assumed. She peeped an eye open now but didn't move, just watching him as he sat on a chair in from of the fire, cutting the length of his hair. It had gotten long, falling down over his shoulders, his wind braids brushing his collarbones. He was cutting at the back of his neck by touch, deftly trimming as if he'd done it dozens of times before. He looked a bit haggard, dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't gotten any more sleep.

It reminded her uncomfortably of what was to come. She sat up and wrapped the sheet around herself, sliding out of the bed. She didn't bother trying to be quiet. He always heard her. She watched over to him and he looked up, giving her a sad smile.

"I know you've said you like it," he said, almost apologetically, "but all this hair won't be convenient for traveling or battle." He cut through the remaining hair on his neck, leaving just his long braids swinging. He grabbed one and pondered it for a moment. He made an irritated sound.

"I never thought it would bother me to cut my hair," he groused. "Foolishness."

Adrian put her fingers over his and he closed his eyes.

"Do you want me to do it?" she asked him. He looked so different already, so far away, but she wanted to hold on as long as she could.

He nodded wordlessly. Adrian took the dagger from his other hand. The blade was simple and notched in many places, but had been recently sharped. It wasn't a decorative blade, just plain, discolored steel. The grip was wrapped in deerskin, sweat stained and ragged. The cross guard was a plain flat line and the pommel too was just a cap of steel, scratched and dented. Adrian ran her thumb over it. He caught her looking.

"It was my father's," he said, looking at the blade instead of at her. "I've carried it for as long as I can remember."

She smiled at him. "It's like you are."

His eyes questioned.

"It's not fancy, its not decorated with anything except scars and old hurts, but its clearly strong and well made even so, to have lasted all this time." Loghain almost laughed, but it was a bitter sound. Adrian frowned at him instead. "It's true," she insisted. "It might be a bit poetic maybe, but its true."

"I've destroyed everything I've ever touched." His voice was dark. Whatever comfort he had, he'd apparently given to Adrian, leaving nothing left for himself.

She wouldn't let him do this to himself. "Your Ferelden is still standing and in far better shape than Orlais. It wouldn't be that way, if not for you and if not for the Wardens."

"I know," he admitted. "But I think that might be despite, not because of my efforts."

Adrian set down the dagger on the table and let his braid fall against his face. She climbed on to his lap again, like she had the night before, though this time it was just to be close to him, to remind him that he was still here and it wasn't over yet. She felt like a failure in the dark of the night; she understood how he felt, but she couldn't let him do this to himself. He deserved better, after everything he'd shown her. She put her hands under the ridge oh his jaw and made him look at her.

"None of this has gone how either of us planned, I know," she said. She leaned in and kissed his chin, the corner of his mouth, the ridge of his cheekbone. "But you helped me realize that I did the best I could. Someone had to fill the roles we have, someone has to be there to take the blame for the horrible things that need to happen, to make the world change as it needs to." He closed his eyes and she kissed his eyelids, first the right and then the left, his eyelashes tickling her lips. "Someone had to be the antagonist of the story. And it had to be someone strong enough to bear it."

Loghain opened his eyes. "Perhaps that's so."

"It is so," she said. "It must be. The story still goes on, the ending hasn't come yet. So we both need to be strong to see it through. You reminded me; now it's my turn to remind you."

She pressed her palm against his cheek for a moment and then picked up the dagger again. She took his braid and twisted it between her fingers. With a single, deft movement, she cut through the strands of hair and the braid fell limp into her hand. She tied the loose end into a knot and coiled the braid in the palm of her hand.

"I'm going to keep this one." she said, closing her hand around it and picked up the second braid. She cut through that one as well, tying its ends too so the plait wouldn't unravel. Adrian held it out to him. "This one," she said. "Is for her. I'm sure you can find her, or find someone to take it to her." She was speaking of Amell, the Hero of Ferelden that he'd told her of. He didn't speak much of her, but Adrian knew he'd loved her deeply. He'd loved her enough to let her go, just like all the other beloved people in his life.

She was about to walk way too.

"I shouldn't," he said, looking at the braid in his hand. "She thinks I died years ago. It could only hurt her."

"I don't think so," Adrian said. "A woman who saves the world isn't likely to fall apart so easily."

Loghain snorted. "You have a point. Amell was always made of sterner stuff than I am."

"Women have to be," Adrian said, with a sly smile. Loghain closed his hand around the braid.

"I'll take it then, though I can't say what will happen."

"One never can," she said softly. "There's no way to know what will happen to either of us." She shook her head at him. She'd let her insecurities get to her last night; she'd almost given up. If it hadn't been for Loghain...if it hadn't been for him in so many things, she wasn't sure she'd have the strength to face what was to come. Whatever happened, the world would change or it would fail. There was no other way for this to end. Adrian put her arms around his neck, the braid of his hair still in her hand. She leaned her forehead against his, listening to the sound of his breath.

"I'm so tired of saying goodbye," Loghain said quietly, his arms coming around her waist. "I'm just...I'm exhausted and there's so much more to do."

She squeezed him, squeezed her eyes shut. "I know," she said. "But maybe this won't be goodbye. We can try to find each other. No war can last forever."

"It feels like I've always been fighting," he said. "I can't remember the last time I just laid down my sword and didn't know when I'd pick it up again. There's always another enemy, another battle."

"Can't set your weapons down, just yet," she said. "I can't either. But someday." She paused and smiled. It was such a foolish notion, but all they had now was skill and hope. It was the best they could do. Why not dream, why not have hope this didn't have to be the end? "Maybe someday we'll find each other again."

"I'm not one for fantasies," Loghain admitted. "But I like that idea."

"Let's just," she paused, debating on the right word. "Let's just dream that it can be. They taught me at the tower that if your will is strong enough, you can make anything happen in the Fade, even if you aren't a mage. So maybe if we dream hard enough, it will happen."

Loghain chuckled. "You didn't seem like such an optimist last night."

"No," she said, pulling closer to him. "But you bring it out in me. No one else has ever managed that, not even me."

"I'm honored then, lady," he said. "That's a service that I'll never be too tired to provide."

The sun was high in the sky before they were ready to leave. It wasn't ideal, but there were plenty of hours to travel and since they were lucky enough to have some sturdy horses, there was no point in waiting. Adrian almost considered thinking of an excuse to stay one more night, but she knew she'd always want one more. If she gave in, she'd never leave and there was too much to be done, too far to travel and too much at stake to give in.

Loghain watched as they made the finally preparations. He was ready to leave already, his saddlebags packed. He was heading north, towards the Waking Sea. He was planning on heading to Val Chevin, where he'd heard there were Wardens that were less loyal to Warden-Commander Clarel. He wouldn't tell Adrian why, and she didn't pry further. The Wardens held tight to their secrets.

She was heading east, toward Ferelden and Haven, just outside of the Temple of Sacred Ashes where the conclave was being held. She'd never been to Ferelden, but she felt like she knew it already, after listening to Loghain's tales and knowing him as she'd come to. It felt comfortable, knowing she was going to his home, even if he wouldn't be there with her. Adrian stood next to her gelding, running her finger's through the horse's mane. It was time to go. She was stalling. She turned at the sound of slow click hoofbeats as Loghain led his horse up beside her. She turned to him, trying to be stoic, but she knew her cheeks were flushed.

He nodded at her, with a forced half smile. "Good luck," he said, offering her his hand.

She took it. "To you as well."

"I will see you again," she said, knowing it was crazy to consider. "I will."

"I am positive you are stubborn enough to see that through," Loghain said. There was laughter in his voice, though he sounded sincere. "I will see you again."

He leaned down to kiss her and she wrapped her free fingers around his arm, holding him in place as she kissed him. Adrian tried to memorize everything about that kiss, but she knew there was no need. She couldn't forget him if she tried. They parted without more words, just one long look before Adrian turned and mounted her horse. She sat up straight in the saddle, her shoulders back. The wind whipped her hair around her face and she tucked a stray curl behind her ears. With a deep breath, she turned and looked at him again.

"Not goodbye," she said. "Until we meet again."

Loghain nodded. "May the Maker watch over you."

With that, she clicked her tongue at the gelding and he started ahead. It took only a few steps before she felt herself fall into rhythm with the horse. The other mages followed behind her, only five on three horses and a single mercenary with a sword and a mare accompanying them. It wasn't much of a parade. They'd not make a grand entrance, but it was just as well. She'd lost her taste for the dramatic since the circles fell. All she wanted was peace, so she could find Loghain again and have another taste of this freedom. This was what she wanted all along. She turned her head back in time to see Loghain turn his horse north and watch his back as he rode away. He was traveling alone, but she hoped he didn't feel that way.

Adrian rode east and took him with her in her heart. She could only hope he'd done the same.