Is there an expression for being more than sorry? I hadn't even realized how long it had been until I checked yesterday and I feel terrible about it. My harddrive crashed and everything I had written so far, whole chapters, were just lost and I got so frustrated about rewriting that I took it out on this story... and you guys :(
But the good news is: I started this whole story because I wanted to redo Human Nature and that's up next, so I am hoping it won't take too long.
If someone has any songs that always make them think of the Doctor and Rose, please make sure to tell me, music always helps me write.
I really hope some of you are still reading this...
Chapter 12
Burn with you
It turned out that Rose saw the Doctor much sooner than expected, when he sprinted past her in a mad dash, the crew following closely behind him, as her and Riley were preparing to open the first door.
"I wonder what happened now.", Riley mumbled, as he turned his attention to a keypad in front of him.
"Better focus on our task, yeah?", Rose answered, "The Doctor will tell us, if something's up. Better not to worry until then."
Riley simply nodded and started tapping away.
"All right. Fix the clamp on."
"How exactly does this work?", Rose asked, while simultaneously handling the massive clamp.
"Each door's trip code is the answer to a random question set by the crew. Nine tours back, we got drunk and thought them up. Reckoned, if we were hijacked, we'd be the only ones who'd know all the answers.", Riley explained.
"Great.", breathed Rose and felt a chill up her spine, "My life depending on knowing random stuff. That doesn't really tend to work for me."
"You've done this before then?", Riley laughed nervously, clearly thinking it was a joke.
"I did. Yeah. I got disintegrated."
"Got it!", Riley shouted triumphantly, as he lights turned green and Rose managed to open the door.
"28 more to go!", he added.
They had just reached the next door, when the Doctor's voice rang out over the speaker: "Rose? How is it going?"
"Area 29, just about to open the next door.", she shouted back, as Riley started to type again, "How is it going at your end?"
"Find the next number in the sequence 313 331 367... what?!", Riley read out aloud and looked at Rose in horror.
"Don't look at me, I didn't set those questions.", she defended herself.
"379", the Doctor answered over the speaker.
Riley still stared at her helpless.
"Oi, didn't you hear him?! Type!", she hissed at him, not wanting to waste anymore time.
"But we only have the one try, if it's wrong..."
"It's not. Do it.", she assured him.
"Rose", the Doctor's urgent voice sounded out again, "Be carefull. There might be something else on board this ship."
"Of course it is. Would be too easy otherwise.", she answered, as the door opened and they ran through, "Now hurry up. We've got this."
Riley immediately checked the next question and groaned in frustration: "This is a nightmare. Classical Music. Who had the most pre-download number ones, Elvis Presley or the Beatles?"
"Don't know... will someone else?!", Rose asked him frantically. Should they call up the Doctor? He might know, but she was never sure where is brain would lead him and if he needed to concentrate...
"The crew has changed. I really don't know... I...", Riley looked at her desperately.
"Pre-Download... wait!", she rummaged through her pocket and found her phone, "Google. That's what we need."
"What?", Riley clearly thought she was mad, but Rose dialed the only number she could think of right at that moment.
"Martha Jones.", came the soft answer a moment later.
"Martha? It's Rose. Sorry to rush, but I really need your help. Are you near a computer?"
"On it, actually. What do you need?"
"Who had more number ones, Elvis or the Beatles?"
There was audible typing at the other end and then a quick "Elvis".
"Elvis!", Rose repeated loudly for Riley, who just typed it in, the door opening almost immediately.
"Thanks, Martha, I might call again.", Rose told her.
"Please do. I need to know you guys are save."
"Will do, bye.", and Rose hung up, as they reached the next door.
Suddenly there was a woman's voice audible around them, asking for assistance.
"Who's that?"
"Abi!", Riley answered, distracted but obviously trying his best to block out his friend distress to better concentrate.
They were through the next door, Riley having typed in the answer, when a loud and terrifying scream could be heard and Riley froze.
"Don't.", Rose said quietly, Not now, we need to hurry, Riley."
"Yeah, right.", and the turned to the next keypad.
They made it through all the way to area 17, before their equipment suddenly seemed to freeze.
"Oh come on!", Riley cried out in frustration and hit his computer.
"Doctor?", Rose called out over the intercom, hoping to use the time to get an update, "What's going on?"
"A million different things.", came his slightly breathless reply, "Where are you now?"
"Area 17."
"Yes, right, good.", he answered slightly distracted and she knew he didn't think it was good at all, but didn't want to be rude to her. At least he was making an afford.
Suddenly the door they had just passed through opened up behind them and Rose turned to see a blurry figure emerge through the smoke.
"Is that Korwin?", she asked, trying to hide the fear in her voice.
"No, I think... I think it's Ashton. Hey man, what are you doing here?", Riley sounds almost as scared as Rose feels, when she sees that the silent figure is wearing a helmet.
"Burn with me.", he rasps, his voice sounding strangely amplified.
"Well, if you want to h...", Riley started, but Rose didn't let him finish, as she grabbed his arm and pulled him through a nearby door, before finding the right button and closing it again.
Ashton appeared in the small window, looking at them through his helmet and Riley frantically opened a small hatch, leading them both into a small escape pod and closing them in.
"What is happening on this ship?", he asked Rose in horror.
"It's like I said: One problem at the time. How do we get out of here. Escape pod, yeah?"
"Airlock sealed. Jettison escape pod.", the Computer's lifeless voice interrupted Riley's answer and he immediately started pressing away at the control-panel.
"Oh no. Doctor?!", she tried to reach him.
"Rose?! What is it? What's wrong?"
"Pod jettison initiated"
"Ashton is trying to to jettison us! We're in an escape pod. Area 17."
"Jettison held."
"Thank you.", Riley breathed in relieve, but before Rose could tell the Doctor not to worry, the computer destroyed that little moment of victory: "Jettison reactivated."
"Oh come on!", Riley shouted and his finger became even more hectic, "Tsilpinsky sequence. This'll get him."
"Jettison held. Escape pod stabilized."
"Oh, thank you." Rose smiled, ready to hug her (as far as she's concerned at that particular moment) new best friend.
"Jettison activated.", sounded out again and Rose now really wished she could smash those terrible speakers.
"He smashed the circuit. I can't stop it. I can't stop it!", Riley looked up at her in horror.
"Ok, next step then. What can we do?", Rose asked him, hoping to keep him from giving up, because really, that wasn't an option. Never.
"Nothing. The doors are locked. The circuit destroyed. We can do nothing."
"Airlock decompression completed. Jettisoning pod."
Rose looked up through the window in the door and saw the Doctor looking at her through the glass, for a moment looking exactly as helpless, as she felt. She expected him to vanish again, to work on the circuit. To have his screwdriver in hand. Anything really. But he was simply staring at her, his right hand raised and pressed to the window. She could see him shouting, but no sound reached her ears. She knew what he was saying anyway: "I'll save you!"
She mustered a small smile in his direction, as he shouted those words over and over, raised her hand and mouthed once, only once: "I know.", as they floated away from the ship and towards the sun.
A short moment later he was out of view and Rose turned away from the window and towards Riley, who was watching her intently.
"He'll come for us.", she told him simply.
"No, it's too late. Our heat shields will give up any minute and then we go into free fall. We'll fall into the sun way before he has a chance of doing anything."
"I don't believe that. The Doctor and I... we don't believe in impossible.", Rose tried to assure him.
Riley looked at her a little sceptically: "It must be nice. Having someone to trust in so completely."
"Don't you?"
"Not really, no. This job, it doesn't really do well with stable relationships."
"The Doctor was like that, too, you know? Now he's got me.", Rose smiled, trying to tell him that everything would work out in the end.
"Lucky him then."
"Lucky me. It's... him and me. There is nobody else left now.", she said, suddenly feeling a lot less hopeful. What if this really was the end? If she allowed herself a tiny bit of doubt, just for a second... she had promised him forever. Had promised not to leave him. After all the walls he had erected around himself, he had just started to let her in. What would happen to him, if she died today?
"No family then?", Riley asked carefully.
"No. Not anymore." Tears welt up in her eyes, as she clamped her lips shut and Riley lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, "How about you? I can't just talk about myself. It's rude. I'm turning into the Doctor now."
"Me... there isn't much to tell. My Mum and I, we don't really talk. It's been... wow, six years now. She didn't want me to sign up for cargo tours, wanted me close. Had a huge fight."
"Yeah, sounds a bit like my Mum and me. Stubborn Mums, that's what they do. Do you want my phone? You can call her. You know... talk?"
"I don't even know how to contact her anymore. Call the Doctor. Maybe you'd like to... say goodbye."
"He'll come for us. I know he will.", she repeated, "And he doesn't have a phone on him anyway. There is none left to call."
"What about your friend from earlier? Maybe... Maybe if they make it, you know, she can give him a message."
"Martha. Yeah. Maybe. I don't think he'd actually go and talk to her, but... yeah."
She took out her phone again and pressed redial.
"Rose?", Martha answered at the first ring, "Are you guys safe."
"Nah... not really. Well, My new friend Riley and I, we're in an escape pod. And we're kinda heading towards a sun."
"What?! Oh my God, how can I help?!"
"I don't really think you can, Martha.", Rose answered, surprised to find tears running down her face, "He'll come for us. The Doctor. I know he will, but... but if he doesn't..."
"Rose, you are really scaring me now."
"If I don't make it, Martha... you are the only one I can tell about this. I have an aunt and a cousin, but... they don't know about any of this. Can you tell the Doctor that it was not his fault? It was never ever his fault. And I don't regret a tiny, single moment. Can you tell him that?"
Martha hesitated for a moment, cleared her throat and said: "Yes, I promise I will."
"Thank you. I need to hang up now, but thank you."
"He'll come for you.", Martha tried to reassure her, "And once you guys are back on the TARDIS, you call me... or come by for a cup of tea, yeah?"
"Yeah, I will. Goodbye, Martha.", and without waiting for a response, Rose hung up and looked over at Riley, who slit his arms around her and held her close.
"He'll save us. He will.", Rose repeated.
"And when he does, I think I'm gonna visit my Mum.", Riley breathed into her shoulder.
"That does sound like a plan. A really good one. Mums forgive a whole lot. I once went missing for a whole year."
"Really? She must have been really angry then."
"More hurt, I think. But she forgave me. Forgave the Doctor, too. She was just glad to have me back. You'll see, it'll be like that with your Mum, too."
"Yeah, she..."
A big jolt went through the escape pod and Rose clang to Riley even tighter.
"Rose, we're being pulled back! It says re-magnetising!"
"The Doctor.", Rose smiled and let go of Riley to turn to the door, where the ship was getting closer again.
When they re-dock, Rose can hardly wait for the compression before storming out of the small pod and almost colliding with the Doctor, who is half kneeling, half standing in front of them.
"Doctor! What is it? What happened?", worry making her voice so much higher, as she through her arms around the Doctor, who tried to rob away from her.
"Stay back, you need to stay back!", he hissed, obviously in pain, as his eyes opened only slightly and a bright light shone through them, Rose took a careful step back, but couldn't get herself to let go completely, her left hand still resting on his suit-clad shoulder.
"What's happened?", the captain shouted frantically behind them.
"It's all your fault, Captain McDonnell!", the Doctor answered, toppling over in pain. Rose lifted her right hand and cupped the Doctor's cheek. He was hot, so incredibly hot, but flinched away at her touch, as if it was him, who got burned. Vaguely Rose could her the captain shout something behind her, but she didn't care, fully concentrating on the Doctor instead.
"Doctor, talk to me.", she urged him desperately, "Please tell me what is going on."
"The sun. The sun is alive!"
"And it is doing this, yeah? Why?"
"They stripped its surface for cheap fuel. Scooped out it's heart. It's screaming, screaming!"
The captain was saying something behind them, but neither Rose nor the Doctor were paying her any attention right then.
"The sun is what's infected people then?", Rose asked, realization of what exactly had happened on this ship hitting her.
"Yes, yes, and now it's in me, too!"
"Then tell me what to do. You are way too hot. Will cooling you down help?!"
"Stasis chamber. Med bay. You need to freeze me, Rose! Below minus 200. Freeze it out of me! It'll use me to kill you otherwise. I can't. I just can't!"
"Captain, help me get him to the stasis chamber. Now!". Rose shouted at the frozen woman and together they hurled the Doctor to his feet and more or less dragged him to the ship's medical centre and with a little difficulty on the stretcher.
"Captain, can you turn this thing on?!", Rose shouted over her shoulder as she tried her best to get the writhing Doctor to stay put.
"Yes, but this... it's too cold! He won't be able to survive it!"
"He said minus 200. So that is what we will do.", Rose told her resolutely, placing her hands on the Doctor's face.
"10 seconds.", the Doctor whimpered, his eyes shut tightly and burning up beneath her shaking hands, "10 seconds. I can't... I can't take more than that!"
"Captain, 10 seconds, did you hear that?!"
"Rose! Don't go!", the Doctor almost whispered, his panicked hand grabbing her forearm.
"I won't. You know I won't. Forever, yeah?", tears were running down her face again, as she watched helplessly.
"Rose, I'm scared. I'm so scared. I could kill you. I don't want to kill you, please. Please don't let me!"
"Everything will be fine. I promise. And then... then we go out for chips, yeah? Nice and simple. Like our first date."
"I might not make it, I might have to change again. Please don't leave me!"
"Of course I won't. Don't be stupid. I loved that daft old face of yours. And this rude one. Whatever happens, I won't stop loving you. Forever. Trust me."
"I do."
The captain had gone quite behind them, either typing away at the controls or seriously confused whatever was going on right in front of her, but Rose didn't care. She let her fingers slip from the Doctor's burning face and grabbed his hand instead as she turned towards the captain and asked: "Are you ready?"
"Yes.", McDonnell answered uncertainly and Rose took a step back, as she moved a lever and the Doctor was rolled into the chamber. And then the screaming started. Rose was standing outside the chamber, her hands pressed against her mouth and tears streaming freely down her face, wishing more than anything in the world that she could be in there with him and hold his hand. And then just as suddenly as it started, the chamber seemed to lose all power.
"No, Rose! Too soon, you can't stop yet!", the Doctor shouted from inside the chamber and Rose looked at McDonnell in shock.
"The Power's been cut by engineering. I'll deal with it. Just press this button, when power comes back.", she instructed Rose and ran out of the room.
"Doctor? The captain is going to take care of this, yeah? You just need to hold on a little longer for me. Please, can you do that?"
"You need to go, Rose, you can't be here!", the Doctor whimpered and for a moment she thought she'd misheard him.
"I am not going anywhere."
"You need to vent the engines. Go to the front. You NEED to get rid of the sun-particles in the fuel."
"Doctor...", she started, but he didn't let her finish: "Give back what they took, please!"
"Fine, but I'll be back as soon as possible. Don't you dare go anywhere!", and without waiting for an answer she sprinted through the door and all the other now open ones until the Doctor's amplified voice saying her name stopped her in her tracks.
"Doctor? What is it? What's happened?!"
"I can't fight it. Give it back or burn with me."
Rose panicked and started running again, now even faster than she would have thought possible as she faintly registered the Doctor's raspy "Burn with me, Rose." Mixed with the computer's constant reminders of their imminent fate.
She found Riley and Scannell frantically trying to get the auxiliaries to work, when she ran in at full speed and used the same tone she had so often heart the Doctor used: "Dump the fuel. All of it. NOW!"
Recognizing the urgency in her voice, the two men obey instantly, turning knobs and pushing levers and Rose didn't wait to see what happened but turned around and ran towards the med-centre again, when she suddenly felt the whole ship give a frightening lurk and Rose fell heavily to the ground. For a moment she was too dazed to do anything as the computer's voice informed her: "Impact averted. Impact averted. Impact averted."
There was a happy shout behind her and Riley appeared in the corridor, crouching down next to her: "Rose! Are you ok?!"
"I... yes, I think... I... the Doctor. I need to get back."
"You are bleeding, Rose, come on. Med-bay."
"Yes. Med-bay. The Doctor."
Riley was almost carrying her now, her knees for some reason not strong enough to carry her weight. She wasn't sure, if she had just lost track of time or maybe even conciousness, but suddenly she was lying on the floor, the Doctor's worried eyes only inches from her face.
"Doctor?", she asked uncertainly, "Oh look, it's still you. Are you okay?"
"Me? I am fine. Dandy. Brilliant. Molto Bene. What is it you have done again? Really, jeopardy friendly might have been too lenient a term for you."
"I think I fell."
"Yes, you did. Hit your head pretty hard, too. Concussion. We'll be able to fix you back up once we get back to the TARDIS. It should be cool enough soon."
"And then we can go back home and have a cuppa, yeah?"
"I thought you wanted chips?"
"Nah, I feel it bit queasy. Tea. Tea in bed?"
"That sounds good. We can finish the last book of "A song of ice and fire", too. How about that?"
"Mhhhhhh, yeah. Sounds lovely."
Rose only remembered little snippets after that: Being carried. Riley softly kissing her on the cheek. Scannell squeezing her shoulder. And waking up in their bed, using the Doctor's chest as a pillow.
"Are you all right?", she asked softly, being used to him staying with her when she slept, but hardly ever sleeping himself. When he didn't answer she realized that he must be deeply asleep as well and she wondered just how much the day's happenings had really affected him. She would make sure to ask him in the morning, she told herself, before she slipped back into sleep.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rose woke the next morning to find the Doctor sitting next to her, a steaming cup of tea in his hand and the book they'd been reading in his lap.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty."
"Morning. How are you?"
"Me, still fine. Why?"
Rose sighed when she heard his answer. She knew that look too well. He was clearly not fine, but nothing she could say to him right now would make him admit otherwise. He wasn't just lying to her, but to himself as well. So instead of pushing him for something that would only want to make him run away, she smiled at him, set up to rest against the headboard and took the offered cup.
"Oh, I need to call Martha!", she suddenly remembered and reached for her phone on the night-stand.
"Riley told me you called her, so I phoned her yesterday and told her not to worry. She made me promise that we would go for a quiet day in today. Told her it wasn't a problem, we were planning on finishing this book anyway. Why not do it in bed?"
"That sounds nice.", Rose smiled and took an appreciative sip of her tea, as the Doctor opened the book and started to read softly.
