Chapter Four - Death to All Hobbits Named Merry and Pippin

It took about two hours to thoroughly explain her story, and by that time she had only partly convinced Bilbo, Frodo, and Merry. However, Pippin did not believe her at all. He kept giggling and congratulating her on her "jolly good story". Riley merely rolled her eyes and said, "Thank you."

Luckily for her, Bilbo was quite interested, and insisted that she stay in one of the spare bedrooms down the hall. Merry and Pippin were invited to dine with them that evening, and they all made a happy party, especially Bilbo, who found a ready listener in Riley. None of them got to bed that night until around eleven o'clock.

Riley rolled over the next morning, sighing contentedly, and opened her eyes to find two faces watching her eagerly. She shrieked and rolled off the opposite side of the bed. She hit the floor with an "oomph!" and groaned. Well, the day had started out well.

She rose up on her hands and knees and peered over the bed, hoping that the two rascals were still there, but no one was looking back at her. Riley sighed. "Come on out; I won't hurt you." Pippin's head peeked over the top of the bed, and Merry rose up just so that he could see her. Riley's smile immediately became evil and she yelled, "But I can kill you!" She sprang up and ran at the Hobbits, who yelped in surprise and alarm and darted out the door.

Riley raced after them as they slammed into walls and rushed down the halls. At one point, they passed Bilbo, who was sitting at a desk with a book propped up in front of him. Pippin got distracted by the plate of berry cake next to Bilbo, and stopped abruptly. Poor Merry didn't have time to slow down, and he crashed into Pippin, sending them both to the floor. Riley checked a giggle and picked Merry up and held him still by an ear. She simply pulled Pippin up by his ear.

They both cried out in pain and Pippin shrieked, "Don't kill me. I don't want to die!" Merry strained to look at her.

Riley laughed and released the two. "It's all right. Just don't stare at me when I wake up again, okay?" The Hobbits nodded and ran out of the room rubbing their ears.

"Were you really going to kill them?" Bilbo laughed.

"I was considering it," Riley joked, then giggled. "I was just scaring them. I don't think they'll do it again. What are you writing?"

"My book. It begins mostly with my first adventure with the dragon and - of course, you know that story. Have you written down your first adventure, my dear?"

Riley had never thought of that. "No, I haven't."

"Oh, well, you must. Here you are," he said, hopping off his chair and rushing to pull a few loose papers from a drawer, and arranging them with a pot of ink and a quill on the table next to the desk. "I hope that you can remember the details accurately. If you need any help in writing, let me know." Riley straightened her tank top, which the day before had been hidden under her tunic, and sank down in a chair. It took her a couple minutes to get used to writing with a quill, but as she wrote, every second of her first trip to Middle-Earth came pouring back to her. Of course, she didn't write down everything, but she included the waterfall, singing in the Hall of Fire, and even falling out of the tree by the meadow.

It must have been hours before she stopped writing, and only then because Bilbo insisted that she eat. "I don't want Gandalf to find that his friend has wasted away. And in the Shire of all places!"

***

Riley completed her account of her first trip, and even summarized her life since then, in the next two days. When she wasn't writing, Frodo was showing her around Hobbiton. They actually became quite good friends, talking about whatever came to mind. Riley, for the most part, was accepted by the population. They found in her a person willing to sit and answer their questions and listen to their discussions about the local goings-on for hours. And that, obviously, made her relatively popular.

Merry and Pippin had forgotten that they were afraid of her by the next day, most of which they spent planning her demise, and after that they tended to tag along whenever she and Frodo went anywhere. Riley, during a particularly hyper moment, put the "incident" into verse, ending it will, "And everywhere that Hobbit and Human went, the Two were sure to follow".

On the morning of the day of Bilbo's birthday party, Riley and Frodo were walking along the lane that led toward the forest and talking, like usual, about anything and everything that came to mind. Riley had explained her camera to Bilbo, Frodo, Merry, and Pippin as simply as she could, and had already taken a few pictures. The younger Hobbits even volunteered to help distract people at the party so that she could take pictures without being spotted.

"You should let others read your story as soon as you go home, Riley. It really is very interesting."

Riley shrugged. "Thanks, but in my world, you can't just tell stories like that, especially not in my position. People start asking questions, getting suspicious. Pretty soon you go from a world-famous singer to a half- crazed author with a decent voice. I'd rather not give up my career just yet."

"Strange that women in your world can earn a living just the same as the men. It is almost unheard-of here."

Riley laughed inwardly as she thought, "Well, if I was big on the whole politically-correct deal, I would have to correct him and make sure he knew that it was different, not strange. Good thing I'm not; those things are so stupid!" Then aloud she explained, "Yeah, but women here are married fairly early in life, and simply depend on their father, then their husband. Women in my world usually don't get married until they're in their twenties. 'Course, that's pretty young for Hobbits, eh? Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Happy birthday!"

Frodo laughed. "Thank you."

After lunch, Riley went off with Merry and Pippin to find something to do. They ended up pulling pranks on the little children who were playing in a field. Riley felt bad about teasing the poor kids - that is, until those "poor kids" started fighting back.

It all began with three little girls playing house next to a clump of bushes. Riley, using her Elfin Child gifts, crept up behind a bush with a bowl in hand. She angled the bowl just right .. then crawled behind another bush further away. With a glance at Merry and Pippin, who were hiding behind a few other bushes more than twenty feet away, Riley settled on her stomach and began speaking quietly towards the bow. The sound bounced off it and head towards the girls. "Hello, Little Children. Would you like to know a secret?"

The little girls looked up in astonishment, and searched for whoever was talking to them, but not seeing anyone, one of the girls asked, "Excuse me, but, where are you?"

Riley reached out and shook the bush with the bowl under it. "Here I am."

The little girls' mouths dropped open and the same little girl who had spoken before nudged the red-head beside her. "Daisy-Belle, go get the boys." That's when the trouble started. Daisy-Belle came back with a group of six curious little boys, who immediately started searching for the source of the voice.

Merry and Pippin, to their credit, did try to save her, but they failed utterly, and Riley had to make a run for it. If her legs hadn't been a good deal longer than the children's, she probably would have been caught. Instead, she had to dodge Frodo, and, being Riley, she tripped and fell face-first into a creek. She came up coughing and muttering something that sounded like, "Elfin Child my foot." She glared at her laughing Hobbit friend.

Frodo's grin faded and he began backing up. "Now, Riley, I didn't mean any harm. Riley, don't look like that.. Riley?" Riley kept walking menacingly closer. "Riley!"

She grinned. "I'll race you back to Bag-End."

"You know that's not fair; you'll win for sure!"

Riley giggled. "Well then I'll give you a one minute head start. Ready, go!" She was well aware of the fact that Frodo had not agreed to the race, but conveniently ignored that tiny detail. Anyway, Frodo did take off running, so it didn't really matter. When her watch claimed that a minute had passed, Riley began running as fast as she could. As soon as she was within ten feet of Frodo and thirty of Bag-End's front door, she and Frodo started calling friendly insults to each other. Riley's legs were growing weak as she passed Frodo just before the door.

They both laughed as they sped through the door, but Riley stopped abruptly, causing Frodo to run into her, and both of them went tumbling to the ground.

Riley jumped to her feet and waved excitedly to the two people in the kitchen. "Hey, Gandalf!"