A Key To Nothing
by Juul
Chapter Twelve: The Wish Upon A Star
Jason grabbed Erin's hand and led her down the sidewalk, slightly at a run. The rain poured down on them, but they no longer cared. In their heartbreaks, they had found love; in their sorrow, they had found happiness. Neither of them realized it yet.
They ran down the sidewalk, turning at a corner, and started up at a run again, heading for the nearby city park. They ran across the park, past the swings, the slides, and the jungle gym, barely even caring to notice the rain and the cloudy sky overhead. Erin slipped her hand out of Jason's and ran up a small hill with a large sycamore tree at the top. Jason ran after her and smiled, a real smile; the first one in a month.
Erin stood at the top of the hill, smiling as she watched Jason run towards her. When he was within five feet of her, she turned around and tried to run in the opposite direction. Jason caught her and playfully knocked her to the ground. They both laid in a heap on the grass, laughing.
That was the first time in what seemed like a lifetime ago that either one of them had let out an honest to goodness laugh.
Jason scooted back towards the tree and leaned against it's trunk, and Erin did the same. He looked at Erin and laughed after seeing the smile on her face. After a few minutes, they both got quiet and watched their surroundings. The rain started to slow down. Jason hesitantly put his arm around Erin's shoulders. She tensed up for a moment, but then relaxed, leaning against him.
"You know me and Wendy used to hang out here all the time?" asked Jason.
"Really?" asked Erin.
"Mmhmm..." Jason let out a sigh of relief and pulled Erin closer to him. "I'll never forget those days... I'll never forget Wendy, either..."
"She was one of my closest friends," said Erin, "if you don't count Ian, she was my best friend."
Both teens sat in silence under the tree for a while. The rain had stopped and the clouds were starting to clear up, revealing a beautiful sunset in the distance.
"Wow," said Erin, "It's so pretty."
"Yeah," agreed Jason.
"It's been a while since I've seen a sunset," said Erin, "But then again, it's like I've forgotten what beauty looks like..."
Jason turned to face Erin. "I haven't forgotten what beauty looks like," he said. "I thought that after I lost Wendy, I'd never find the right girl again. I must be blind because she's sitting right here in front of me." Jason reached out and brushed a few strands of hair out of Erin's face and tucked them gently behind her ear.
"I've been thinking these past few days," continued Jason, "About a lot of things. In all this negativity, I've found something positive. I remember a few days ago, when we were in your room looking at those pictures, I kept thinking 'God, she's beautiful,' and then I'd think 'no, I can't be thinking that!' But now, I guess it's okay to think that." Jason put his hands on Erin's shoulders and gazed into her eyes.
"Jay," said Erin, "are you serious?" She sounded as if she wanted to cry.
Jason nodded. "You are beautiful."
Erin looked down and started to cry a little. "Jason," she said, "Ian was the only other guy who's ever said that to me... it's not that I don't want to, but if you want to start over, why with me?"
"Because I want to," said Jason. "Because I know that no one else will ever know how you feel, how I feel. And no one else has lost what we have. I feel comfortable around you, even though we've never been really close before."
"You really mean that?" asked Erin in a soft voice.
"Yes," answered Jason. "If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't have said it." She looked up at him and made eye contact.
After a moment of silence, Jason leaned forward and gave Erin a very passionate kiss. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, and she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him back in an equally passionate way.
Jason broke off the kiss and stopped to look at Erin. He wanted to say something, but words just couldn't be put in a sentence describing what was on his mind. Jason put one hand behind Erin's waist and the other behind her shoulders and kissed her once more. Erin wrapped her arms around him and held him as tightly as possible.
Erin leaned into Jason and closed her eyes. She felt his hands rubbing her back in a soothing manner and without being able to control herself anymore, she let his tongue slide into her mouth. Erin blindly reached for the sleeves on Jason's jacket and gently tugged at them. Jason took off his jacket and dropped it behind him before proceeding in putting his hands on Erin's shoulders and gently pushing her backwards.
Jason let go of her momentarily and took off his shirt, dropping it in a heap on top of his jacket. Erin put her hands behind Jason's waist and pulled him closer. He kissed her again and slipped his hand up the back of her shirt. Erin felt her body tense up at his touch, and he tugged upward at her shirt, eventually taking the time to pull it off.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" asked Jason, taking a deep breath.
"I don't want to hurt anymore," Erin replied softly. "I don't want to belong to Ian anymore; there's no point..." She put her hand on the back of Jason's neck and he leaned forward so that their noses were touching.
"I don't want to hurt you," said Jason, putting his hand on Erin's leg.
"You won't," said Erin.
The sun had finally set and the broken-hearted teens made love well into the night. Neither one of them cared anymore if what they were doing was right or wrong; they didn't see a point in dwelling on Wendy and Ian, and neither of them could control their emotions anymore.
They both had so longed for something to fill the voids that had grown in their hearts, and now they only hoped that they could fill the void with whatever was to become of their relationship.
What seemed like an eternity later, they stopped. Erin went first and let out a small cry of both pain and pleasure as she arched her body towards Jason, who finished after her, collapsing on top of her moments later. Jason, exhausted as he was, noticed that Erin had started crying again, and he held her, wanting to let her know that she was safe with him.
"What's wrong?" asked Jason, a few minutes later. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Erin shook her head and took a deep breath. "You didn't hurt me," she said in a quiet tone.
"Then what's wrong?" asked Jason, running his hand through Erin's hair and planting a delicate kiss on her collarbone.
The girl thought for a moment, trying to find a way to put her thoughts into words. "It's just that..." she started, "... I've never... been with anyone... before this..." She looked up at Jason. "Not even Ian..."
Jason wasn't sure what to say. He felt bad, and in his mind he started to panic, after an unpleasant thought appeared. What if she thinks I took advantage of her in her time of need? Just to be sure, he decided to ask her about it. "Erin," said Jason, "I'm... sorry..."
"For what?" sobbed Erin. "There's nothing to be sorry about." She rested her head against Jason's chest and listened to his heartbeat.
"You were Ian's," said Jason in a regretful tone, "and I took you."
"But I wanted you to," said Erin. "As weird as it sounds, I probably wouldn't even have a chance at getting over Ian if you didn't."
Jason rested his chin on the top of her head and held her. "But I feel like I took advantage of you," he said.
"But you didn't," said Erin. "It's okay. As wrong as it seems, I wish I could stay here with you forever. I don't ever want to go back to... reality..."
"Me neither," said Jason, "But we have to. We have to try and stop... death."
"I don't want to," said Erin, "At least not tonight."
"Tomorrow I have to work security at the Tricenntennial," said Jason, "I don't want to go. If it was up to me, I'd freeze time so that tonight would last forever. It's the first time in a while that I've actually felt... well, happy." He looked at Erin and smiled. "You're the only person who's ever made me feel this way. I didn't think I'd be able to love anyone ever again, but I've fallen for one of my close friends."
After a few minutes of silently collecting their thoughts, Erin and Jason both reluctantly got up and got fully dressed and then headed back to the police station, laughing along the way at how they had left Erin's van back there. When they got in the van, the checked the time and the digital clock on the radio read 12:02. Neither one said anything on the way to Jason's house. Right before Jason got out of the van, he leaned over and gave Erin a kiss before whispering, "I'll see you tomorrow. Call me when you get up."
Erin had actually gotten back to her own home about fifteen minutes later. She had spent about five minutes parked in Jason's driveway, thinking about the night's events. When she got home, she sneaked in through the front door and tiptoed up the stairs. She took a quick shower and immediately went to bed, praying that her mother didn't wake up or notice anything weird about her coming home so late.
I feel bad about trying to get over Ian, thought Erin as she collapsed onto her bed, burying her face in a pillow. I'm sorry, Ian. Please forgive me. I know you would never be mad at me for doing this, but I can't help but wonder. I know that if that rollercoaster had never crashed that we'd be together now, at this exact moment.
Erin rolled over onto her back and looked at the ceiling. She glanced over to her bedside table and gazed at a picture of her Ian that was sitting there. The girl fingered the ring that Ian had given her, and she slowly took it off for the first time. Feeling a tear slide down her cheek, Erin held the ring in her clenched fist and held it against her chest.
Looking up, as if looking towards a divine being or a God of some sort, Erin said quietly through her tears, "Ian, wherever you are, please forgive me. No one will ever replace you in my heart, ever. But I know you wouldn't want me dwelling on you." She unclenched her fist and looked down at the ring; the silver band glistened in the moonlight pouring in through the window.
Erin leaned across the bed and opened a drawer on her bedside table. She gently put the ring in the drawer and then picked up the framed picture of her and Ian. Erin looked at the picture for a while and then gently placed it in the drawer, next to the ring. She shut the drawer and then laid back down on her bed.
After pulling the blanket up over her head, Erin laid on her side in a fetal position. She began to cry, knowing that as of right now, nothing would ever be the same again.
Reality had sunk in that she would never see Ian ever again; it had finally hit her after a month. She wondered if Jason felt the same way about Wendy. In all of her sorrow and pain, she realized that there was one good thing that came out of this tragedy:
She knew now that she wasn't alone, that Jason was in the same position as her and he'd protect her until the end.
By 2:00 in the morning, Erin had silently cried herself to sleep.
