Wes, Eric, and all other characters from Power Rangers belong to
Disney/Saban. I am using them without permission, however I have not
and don't expect to make money from this.
Anyone you don't
recognize is mine.
Rated T: language, violence, sexual content including m/m sexual relationships.
A/N: This is a response to the Power Rangers Slash Write 22 challenge, a slash-oriented romance theme challenge. A link to the challenge site on LiveJournal is in my profile.
Extra A/N: This mentions events from the previous story 'Boxed In'.
Reviews are always appreciated.
Turns in the Road
House (Safety)
- - -
He stood there for a minute or two before knocking, taking the time to look over the yard and the front of the house. How many times had he stood here over the years? Hundreds? A thousand? Odd that he'd never noticed the way a tree shaded the porch, or admired how the evening shadows fell across a neatly mowed and raked lawn, or wondered whether the siding needed painting. No, he'd never been thinking about the house, only about who was waiting inside.
Wes raised a hand to press the doorbell, and as on so many evenings, listened for the sound of answering footsteps. In another moment the door swung open and Eric was giving him a quick smile and moving aside to let him in. When the door clicked shut they stepped closer for a kiss in the half light coming from the living room, the moment bringing with it the echoes of a thousand other kisses given and received in this spot; some simple greeting or goodbye, some tender, some passionate.
"You're early," Eric murmured, his face still so close Wes could feel the warmth of his breath.
"Yeah... wanted to talk to you about something."
"Anything wrong?" Eric pulled back a little to look into Wes's face before continuing, "I thought something's been on your mind lately. What's up?"
"No, nothing's wrong. Come on, let's sit down."
He waited until they were seated on the old but comfortable sofa in the living room that had become as familiar as his own bedroom, each settling into his own favorite spot, the two of them turned enough to face each other. How many times had they sat here, just like this? There would be a lot more - a lot - if Eric agreed to what he was about to suggest.
"Well?" Eric said. "You wanted to talk."
How did you lead up to something like this? Especially when you were so unsure of how the other person was going to react. Carefully, that's how. "Yeah..." Wes started. "Well, it's getting to be only a couple more months until Dad and Lina are going to get married."
"I know. What, you still don't like the idea?"
"It's not that - I think they'll be happy and all. It's just that when they're married, Lina's going to move in."
Eric smiled a little. "From what I hear, that's the way it usually works."
"Anyway - I've been thinking for a while that I shouldn't stay there. You know, third wheel and all."
Now Eric's expression was neutral, but something had sharpened in his eyes. "It's a big house. But yeah, I can see what you mean."
"Right." Wes shrugged. "Besides, I'm in my thirties now. Time to leave the nest."
"I guess so." Eric's tone was non-committal, his face still unrevealing.
"So - so, I was thinking about moving out." Wes took a deep breath. "And - well, you have this whole house, and I spend so much time here already, I was thinking maybe I could move in here."
"You want to move in with me." Eric's voice was flat, and definitely not enthusiastic.
Despite his increasing misgivings, Wes forged ahead. "Yeah. We've been together for a long time now. We know we get along-"
"No." Eric moved back just a fraction, and crossed his arms, his face gone blank.
"No? That's all, just 'no'?"
"You know why we can't live together."
"No, I don't. Why?"
There was a flicker of impatience in Eric's expression now, along with something Wes couldn't identify. "We've talked about this before. We can't let people find out about us, and living together would be like waving a red flag, or maybe a rainbow-colored one." He shook his head. "No. Too dangerous. I thought you understood that."
Wes frowned. "You talk like we're going to get lynched or something. This is 2010, not the fifties. Even if a few people talk about us, who cares? Even if they know for sure we're gay, who cares? Dad's behind us a hundred percent, so we're sure not going to get fired or anything. And if somebody wants to beat us up in an alley - well, let them try. I think we can both defend ourselves, with or without our morphers."
Eric was still shaking his head. "You don't understand. We can't let people find out. It would ruin everything."
"It would ruin what exactly, Eric? Not our jobs. Not our lives, as long as we still have each other."
"No." Eric got up and paced a few restless steps away, his back turned, tension clear in the lines of his shoulders. "This is for your sake as well as mine. You don't want people talking about you, looking at you funny, making jokes behind your back, telling you you're going to hell, thinking you're sick, or perverted, or unnatural..."
"I don't care what people like that think, and neither should you." Wes waited, but Eric said nothing, only stood there, head bowed. "Look, we've been together for more than seven years now. Seven years of - of sneaking around, pretending, of grabbing a few hours together a couple of times a week, going out together but having to act like we're just friends, and of course not too often because that would look suspicious, and - and spending the whole night together maybe two or three times a month; can't let the neighbors see me leaving in the morning too often..." He ran out of breath, slightly shaken at the depth of his own feelings of anger and frustration. "Well, I'm sick of it. I love you and I want to be with you, and I want to live with you, and if anyone doesn't like it, too bad."
Eric's voice was low and rough when he answered. He still didn't turn around. "I want a lot of things I know I can't have, not now, maybe not ever. Don't you think I want you to move in here? Don't you think I want us to live together? I hate the hiding, too. I hate it when we have sex and then you have to get up and leave. But that's the way things are, and we're stuck with it."
"I think you're wrong. It doesn't have to be that way."
Those tense shoulders tightened even more. "Can't you just get an apartment? Maybe somewhere close to here. Then we could spend more time together."
"I guess I could, but that's not what I want."
"Like I just said, you can't always get what you want."
Wes tried a smile and a lighter tone. "Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with trying, is there?" When there was no answer he went on. "Why should I get an apartment and have to worry about furniture and taking care of the place and stuff, when I can just move in here?"
"Yeah, that would be convenient for you, wouldn't it? Right from Daddy taking care of you to me." When Eric swung around, Wes could see anger in his face.
"Hey, that's not-"
"You talk about wanting to be with me more, but for all this time you've stayed in your father's house! For years I've wished you would move out and get your own place, so I could spend nights there too!"
"Eric..." Wes stared, both angry and confused. "If that's how you felt, why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Why didn't you think of it yourself?"
"I did!" Wes was on his feet now too, his fists clenching. "I thought about it! I didn't do it for the same reason I don't want to do it now! I-" He hesitated and then said it. "I don't want to live alone."
"That's your reason? You don't want to live alone?" Eric shook his head with a sneer. "Jesus, Wes, sometimes things aren't exactly the way we want, and guess what? We just have to live with it. I thought you would have figured that out by now."
"Look, I don't like being alone! Maybe you think that's stupid or something-"
"Pretty much."
"Why should I have to live in a way I'll hate when I don't have to?"
"Why can't you try?"
"You don't understand!" Wes hesitated again - but he knew he had to say it as Eric's eyes turned cold. "It's not just that I don't like it... Every time I think about it - being all alone at night, no one there, shut up in a room in the dark, knowing there's no one..." Wes stopped, a shiver overtaking him. "I know it's stupid. I hate being like this, but ever since the box, the thought of living alone scares me. I only feel safe going to sleep if there's someone around."
Eric crossed the room in a couple of quick steps and faced him, raising a hand to touch his cheek. "You've felt like this all this time? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Ashamed. Didn't want you to think I'm a coward."
"The guy who took on a couple hundred cyclobots by himself, a coward? I don't think so." He leaned a little closer to kiss Wes lightly. "I'm sorry I got mad."
"It's okay." Wes kissed him back, but pulled away after a moment and waited for Eric to meet his eyes. "But I get the feeling this won't make any difference, will it? You still won't let me move in."
"If you get your own place I can come over a lot. And you could stay here more. The hell with the neighbors; they can't prove anything. We could be together most nights." Eric touched the side of Wes's face with gentle fingers. "Even if we lived together, with our schedules there'd be times you'd sleep alone, lots of them. Either way you'll have to face it - get used to it - or stay in your father's house."
"So it's still 'no'," Wes said softly, with the finality of disappointment.
"Wes..." Eric stepped back and turned away again. "I can't." His voice was strained - and so was his face when he turned his head. "I'm sorry. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but I just can't. Maybe I've lived like this for too long, and I can't change. I'd be - I'd be looking over my shoulder every minute, expecting something to happen. You talk about not feeling safe - well, you're not the only one. I can't live like that."
"But..." Wes stared, alarmed and torn between frustration and sympathy. "But nothing terrible's going to happen. You said I should face my fears - what about yours? Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding?"
"I don't know. I-" Eric's shoulders slumped, his hands turning out in a gesture of helplessness. "I love you, Wes. Isn't that enough?"
Wes crossed the room to stand behind Eric and enfold him in a hesitant hug. "Yeah, of course it's enough. I don't want to do anything you don't want."
He felt strong hands fold over his and pull his arms tighter, as Eric leaned back into him. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"Nothing to be sorry about." Wes smiled as Eric turned in his embrace to hold him. When they kissed, he let it last and deepen this time.
But as he stood in a house where he was still only granted the status of a visitor, he knew that things had changed between them - nothing dramatic, not in any obvious way, nothing that would destroy their relationship. But not for the better.
- - -
TBC...
