Chapter 12 – Without Your Heartbeat

Erin lay face down on the flagstones, the sun-kissed granite warm against her skin. She felt frozen, every part of her stiff and unresponsive and try as she might she couldn't find it in herself to stand. She heard footsteps approaching.

"What have we here?" a familiar voice drawled. She could hear the smirk that would be curling the lips into their customary shark smile without needing to look.

A gloved hand touched hers and Erin felt heat race through her body, life and strength following in its wake. She shuddered as painful twitches started in the muscles of her legs and arms, as though she hadn't used them for days. Fighting down a whimper of pain she grasped the hand that was still in hers and allowed Jareth to help her to her feet. Looking up at him she had to fight down the urge to cringe. His eyes were fixed on hers, shifting from blue to green so fast it made her dizzy. There was an expression of intolerable hunger there, as though she were the only thing in the world he could ever want. Erin glanced down at herself and bit back tears. She was wearing the clothes the reflection had been dressed in: the leather bodice tight across her body, the skirt fluttering against her legs. Her head was heavy with the weight of the piled up hair and she couldn't move it properly without the high collar digging in. She met Jareth's eyes again although with some reluctance: she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing that she was afraid.

His clothes had changed once again. He was dressed in ivory, the rags of his cloak fluttering about him like feathers on the wind and his face was pale and washed out. In that unguarded moment Erin caught a look in his eyes that cut deeper than any knife could. Suddenly she understood what the reflection had been trying to tell her and she could feel his burning loneliness as though it were her own. Then the cruel smile returned and this time Erin did take one step back. As the smile twisted into a smirk she squared her shoulders and glared back at him.

"I win," she said, voice quiet but firm. "I have taken back what was stolen from me. Now let me go."

"Have a care, Eireann," Jareth said, eyes narrowing. "I have been generous up to this point. But I can be cruel."

"Generous?" It was impossible to keep the scorn from her voice, not when she had experienced an upsurge of terror that was not her own at the threat. The indignities that the reflection, that Eireann had suffered at his hands still lingered in an obscure corner of her heart and mind. "I have seen nothing of you but your cruelty. What have you done that is generous?"

"Everything," Jareth snapped, stalking forwards. He halted mere inches from her, the heat radiating from him searing into her skin. "Everything I have done has been for you. You wanted to be left alone. I gave you that. You hated your life. I wove a new one for you. I gave you beauty and power, subjects to command and a kingdom to rule. I have turned the whole Labyrinth upside down, broken every rule I ever made and I have done it all for you."

These last words were spoken in a tired whisper. Erin couldn't help the rush of pity they inspired even though she knew it was coming from the other half of her heart, the half Jareth had tortured. If it had only been pity she might still have found it in herself to forgive him but there was a tiny part of her that felt as though she had deserved the treatment and that served to fuel her anger.

"And for that I'm supposed to be grateful?" she demanded. "You ripped my heart, my soul, in half. You took it, abused and broke it and I'm supposed to what? Go down on my knees and worship at your feet? It was no better than rape and you know it. You made her think she deserved what you were doing to her."

His eyes went wide at that and then narrowed abruptly. Erin knew she had a fight on her hands, not just against the Goblin King but against the part of herself that thought it loved him. Worse, the part that believed with its whole heart that he loved her.

"Eireann," Jareth began.

"Erin," she corrected with a frown. "Eireann was make-believe. A dream. I'm more than that."

The shark-smile was back and Erin had the sinking feeling she'd made a fatal error.

"Can't you see what I'm offering you?" Jareth asked, his voice soft and coaxing. "I'm offering you your dreams. You will be the Goblin Queen. You will be adored, worshipped. You will never be alone again. Just trust in me, give me your hand and my heart will be yours forever."

His words were worming their way into her mind, brushing aside her reservations and burrowing deep into her heart. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to be loved. But at such a price? Even death would be better than the prison that lurked behind the Goblin King's honeyed words.

"No dream is worth that," Erin managed to say, backing away a couple of steps. She was close to the edge of the wall, could see all the way down to the jagged rocks hundreds of feet below. "I didn't escape a cage of my own making just to walk blithely into one of yours. How long before you lose interest? How long before you tire of me and find a new pet? The dream is just that, a dream: something that will fade with the rising sun and the passing of time. And even if you spin it from stardust and moonbeams it will still be a cage. I want my freedom on my own terms or not at all."

Jareth's eyes flashed with anger and he took a long step towards her. Erin retreated, halting only when she could feel the edge of the stones under her feet.

"Let me go," she pleaded, softening her voice and trying with all her might to sound like Eireann had. "I won your game, didn't I? I reached the castle and found what you took."

"You still don't understand, do you?" His tone was triumphant but his flickering eyes held a touch of disappointment. "This was not a game you could win. You are the prize, not the player. You were never intended to win, even if you solved the Labyrinth, even if you learned the true nature of your chains. You are the only soul I ever met in all my centuries who even came close to understanding the emptiness in me. Because you are the same as I – you know the sting of loneliness as it gnaws upon the bitter heart. You were always my prize and I claim you as my Queen. I will have you and we will rule the Labyrinth forever."

Erin nodded, understanding at last the trap he'd woven around her. Still there was one last thing to try, something that she prayed would not yet have occurred to him.

"So you won't grant me my freedom? You won't let me go?" He didn't need to answer her. His expression said louder than words that he never would. "Then I will take my freedom the only way I can."

She spread her arms wide as though she would embrace him. Jareth realised her intention seconds too late. He grabbed for her with a cry of anger and despair as she fell backwards off the wall. As her eyes met his for the last time he heard her say two words, her voice thick with triumph.

"I win."


A/N - I will admit, I didn't see that coming. This whole argument grew out of the 'stardust and moonbeams' line - I'm so glad that no-one walked into the bathroom at work the day that one popped into my head, cuz I was standing in front of the mirror for a good ten minutes working that speech out.

Only one more chapter to go - an epilogue of sorts to tie up the loose ends. It's already written so I'll post it in a couple of days.

Thanks to everyone who has read and big hugs to my kind reviewers.