Author's Notes: Last night's episode… they danced! Lisbon gave in and danced, wow. Now we also know what Jane knows regarding Van Pelt and Rigsby. This whole story was written and finished before the end of December 2009, which is why I wrote that it was AUish since it is based on what we know from the episode "Throwing Fire" and previous to that.
Yes, I wrote the whole story. As such I can confidently tell you that the next chapter (Chapter 13) will be the last chapter of this story. Please read and review. Your comments sustain me through the cold nights. :-P
Thank you to the following for reviewing: yaba (thank you for all your beta work and support! Yes, Jane finally knows what he wants and appears to believe he knows what Lisbon wants, or should want according to him lol), Chiisana Minako (Yes… jumpy Lisbon is more fun, though I could imagine both reactions. I guess it all depends on the situation. May I have a pony?), lisbon69 :-D, MK (Yes, Jane had all that time while Lisbon was out of commission to think. She hasn't been aware of changes… and knowing is half the battle! G.I. Jo- ooooh. Some sort of copyright/trademark infringement was just about to happen…), Famous4it, lisbonloafers (would you really want to confine poor Lisbon in a body cast? Then Jane would like put her through some torture like listening to bad 80's songs all day, or sticking a feather on her nose…), Jadestar1981 (I'm not sure Jane would survive being locked in a room with Lisbon. She is a fierce little thing…), Hikaru Ceres (thank you. Yes, the pitchfork and torch people didn't come to get me, thank goodness.), Katharen Silver, Ebony10 (last night was cute, I was a bit surprised that they danced. If they were honest with themselves and they were supposedly just coworkers then it would have been as weird as seeing Cho and Van Pelt dancing together in a situation other than undercover or whatever…), and edwardcullen23 (and it sha'n't end like that for here is the new chapter!).
Chapter 12
Monday morning was not exactly pleasant for Lisbon. The previous night, she hadn't been able fall asleep, the thought of seeing Jane at work aiding her insomnia. She had finally fallen asleep sometime past midnight, but then woke up an hour before her alarm went off and lay in bed, trying to sleep again. She gave up and took a shower, taking her time. She drove to work, wondering if Jane would leave things alone, or try something with everyone at the office as witnesses.
'I'm an adult,' she thought to herself sternly. Getting angry was a good way to get past the anxiety she was feeling.
She walked past everyone's desks, exchanging short morning greetings and then went into her office. Not long after, her door opened without prelude and Jane strolled in, placing a cup of coffee and a muffin on her desk. Then he sat in the chair opposite her desk, a smile in place, his fingers laced over his stomach as he leaned back.
Lisbon watched him wearily, but he didn't say anything. She returned to checking her inbox, things to wrap up from the team's previous cases, results from toxicology labs, and so forth. The only sounds was the din of the surrounding offices and bullpen, the ringing of phones, faint tapping on keyboards, muffled talking, and inside her office the sound of her pen writing, scratching against the grain of the paper.
"Did you need something?" Lisbon finally asked, unnerved by his silent presence. She looked up at him steadily, pen poised above the papers.
"No," Jane was still smiling at her.
"Well, if there's no reason for you to be here, you can leave me alone to work," she told him calmly.
"Oh, I didn't say there wasn't a reason and I can leave you alone to work while I sit here," he responded as though reassuring her. He heard the click of her pen as she placed it down smartly on her desk and laced her own fingers together over it, giving him her full attention. This was an unexpected turn of events, but he'd take it.
"Teresa-"
"Lisbon," she corrected.
"Fine. Lisbon," he resignedly said, 'Her and her office rules,' he mused, "We both know you like me. The natural progression of things is to date, which you can say we've been doing with every meal we've had including before you were shot-"
"Closed case pizza is not a date," she interrupted.
"If you say so," the blond consultant grinned, internally surprised that she had let him get that far without interrupting him with denials. Though she was watching him, face wiped of any expression, which Jane found to be somewhat worrisome. "You enjoy my company; otherwise you would have tried to kick me out of your house as soon as you were home to do so. We know each other."
"Jane, if enjoying someone's company, liking them, and knowing someone are your qualifiers for dating then I might as well be dating Cho or Rigsby, even Grace," she deadpanned. Her Grace comment threw Jane for a moment; she could already see him imaging the scenario and becoming sidetracked before visibly shaking his head and refocusing on her.
"Rigsby is like a younger brother and Grace is very much not your type. Too much hero worship. I think they'd both agree that they're not interested seeing as they're already spoken for anyway," Lisbon quirked an eyebrow at the last comment, but Jane continued, "and Cho, though he is an upstanding friend and excellent coworker, is more like the friend you might go to a convention with, but never consider becoming more than that."
"Then what are you, Jane?" Lisbon asked, somewhat intrigued by his viewpoint.
"I'm the incorrigible partner in crime that drives you crazy, and yet helps balance your personality perfectly. I'm your match," he wrapped up smugly.
"I'll admit we can be a good team, when you're not trying to make me kill you," she quickly added when a look of triumph lit his face, "but it can only work because we're coworkers, professionals. Entering a relationship beyond that could jeopardize our teamwork if we get caught up in personal issues between us. That's why we have non-fraternization rules."
"We all know something is going on between Rigsby and Van Pelt, why aren't you pushing the rule on them?" Jane pushed.
"I never said I knew that anything was going on between those two. We're not talking about them," Lisbon argued, a carefully constructed expression of "deniability" firmly in place.
"You brought up the non-fraternization rule; this very much is about them then. You are clearly turning a blind eye, why is that?" he pressed, spotting a weak point in her argument and going for it.
Lisbon, caught, could only stare back at him, keeping herself from flapping her mouth with stuttering.
"You're turning a blind eye to them, because it hasn't affected their work. We've seen how they flirt together at work when they think nobody notices. I know you've noticed. Yet you're not enforcing the same rule on them that you say applies to us. Why is that, Teresa?" his mild voice had grown an edge to it.
Lisbon was rather dumbfounded by his accusations and didn't know how to respond. Her cheeks flushed as she turned to anger for support, "Get out."
"I'm not leaving without a good explanation," Jane said firmly. He stayed seemingly relaxed, his arms now on the armrests of his chair as he watched her carefully.
"Fine, you want an explanation?" she hissed, mindful that her glass walls were not soundproof, "Say we did develop whatever this is between us," she motioned with her hand, "We date. We get closer. What happens when Red John shows up? You're so hell bent on avenging your dead family that you're likely to kill him. Then I'd have to arrest you. I will not go against my principals just because we got involved. But even if we got him into custody without incident, or we never catch him, there'd be us, together. What's next? We get dependent on each other; do something stupid on a case, and one of us dies. What then? Look what happened to you after your family died. If you die, what was the point of having been together in the first place? It'll just cause both of us pain in the end and I can't sacrifice what I have for something so unsure.
"I have my job and my coworkers. I put the bad guys away so they can't hurt any more people. I'm- I'm happy with what I've got now, why screw up what we already have? For all you know we might just hurt each other and break up anyway, then what? You transfer to another team? Quit? Or we still work with each other, thinking of what we had and maybe end up getting distracted. Why risk any of that?"
Jane looked on sorrowfully at Lisbon, all her insecurities laid out before them. She was heaving slightly, still very much upset. She had apparently put in a lot of thought about them.
"This is about your parents," he stated quietly, eyes understanding.
"What?" she was surprised at the perceived change of topic.
"You're afraid that what happened to your parents will happen to you. They were so happy together, a nice family, until your mother died. Then everything fell apart," he continued softly.
"Don't you dare bring them into this! Get out!" she was furious, springing up from her chair, an odd glint in her eyes.
"Your father loved your mother so much, but when she died, he might as well have died too. You weren't enough for him, you and your brothers. You probably wondered why he didn't love you any more, wondered if all of you were as worthless as to not deserve love," Jane pressed on, still seated.
"I don't need to listen to this! Get out now!" she was grabbing him by his suit and pulling him up, desperately wanting him to stop talking and leave her alone in the office.
"You're afraid to commit to a relationship because you're worried you'll end up like your dad, all alone with nothing to live for. You're afraid that you'll fall in love and become so dependent on someone else that you'll become nothing without them," at some point while he was talking, Lisbon stopped trying to shove him out of her office, instead she was gasping, unable to face him, but still clinging to his suit. Cho and Rigsby didn't hear much of the conversation, mostly the part where she had been yelling at him to leave, but they were betting on the probability of her bodily removing him from her office.
Back inside the office, Jane slowly brought a comforting hand up to her shoulder. She flinched away, dropping both of her hands from their grip on his suit. She turned and stormed out of the office, leaving a surprised team in her wake.
"Was she crying? Jane! What did you say to her?!" came Van Pelt's voice as she stomped into the office, on the offensive. Cho and Rigsby had followed and were behind each shoulder. Cho's face was formidable, his dark eyes hardened. Jane briefly wondered if he'd have to try to protect his nose soon. Rigsby somehow managed to tower over him more than usual. All three were certain that whatever happened was completely Jane's fault.
Jane's hands were in his pockets so no one could see that they were clenched into fists. His face was as serious as they'd ever seen it, his mouth pulled into a grim line. "We had an argument. She'll be fine. She's a strong woman."
His answer didn't satisfy any of the agents, but before any one of them could say anything further Minelli came into the office, "Where's Lisbon? You got a case."
"I'll go get her," Jane volunteered, and before anyone could stop him, he had slipped away.
***
For as upset as Teresa was, she knew she shouldn't leave the building, she was on the clock and a case could come at any time, but she didn't want to face anyone right now. So she went to the parking lot and sat in her car. Her arms and forehead rested on the steering wheel as she tried to clear her head in silence.
'Jane is a bastard,' was one of her first thoughts. She needed to calm down, but found that very difficult. How would she be able to face the team after having stormed out, almost in tears? She didn't want to admit it, was still trying to deny it, but Jane had hit the nail right on its head.
A knock on her window startled her; she looked up and found that it was Jane. Seeing that she had not locked her car, he opened the driver's side and waited silently for her to strike or scream. She did neither, just sat and stared at him. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?
"Teresa."
"What?" she said tiredly, shoulders slumped in defeat. She didn't have any fight left in her.
"We have a case," he solemnly told her, noticing her slightly reddened eyes and posture.
She sighed and composed herself, flipping down the sun visor above her to check herself in the mirror. Great, her eyes were red. Hopefully no one would notice as they weren't that red, she hadn't actually cried much. She'd blame it on allergies.
Lisbon looked on at Jane reproachfully, "We're only going to talk about the case, otherwise we have nothing to say. We will not be distracted from the job. You got that?"
Jane nodded, knowing he'd have to listen for the time being until she was in a more reasonable state of mind. She was going into a sort of survival mode to get things done.
Lisbon stepped out of her car and closed the door behind her. He followed her back into the building.
