Garrus was running simulations to test the newest firing algorithms for the Thanix Cannon when he heard Shepard's footsteps approaching. He was surprised; she didn't usually come by in the morning. He turned to greet her with a smile, which faltered when he saw her face. "Shepard, what's wrong?" As soon as she got close enough, he took her by the arm and forced her to sit down. "I believe the human expression is that you look like you've seen a ghost."
She gave him a weak smile. "Very appropriate. I just received a message from Admiral Hackett – they found the crash site of the original Normandy. The Alliance has offered me the 'opportunity' to be the first to walk on the site." Putting her words into action, she stood up and began to pace. "They also want me to place a memorial – and look for signs of the 20 crew members that are unaccounted for." Glancing at Garrus, she added, "I'm going today."
Garrus reached out to stop her pacing. "Do you want me to go with you?"
Shepard sighed, "Yes, but this is something that I have to do on my own."
"I'm here if you need me, Shepard."
"I know – and that means everything to me."
####
Garrus struggled through the day as he waited for Shepard to return to the ship; he was worried about her. I know that Shepard is safe; she's more than capable of handling any threat. There isn't anything on Alchera that can hurt her - except memories. Putting down his data pad, he began to pace. Linda hit the ground running – literally – when she woke up on Lazarus Research Station. She hasn't had time to mourn the deaths of her former crew members. Today is going to be hard on her; I wish I were there to help her through it.
When he found himself reading the same part of the test results for about the fourteenth time, Garrus gave up. He went to their cabin, where he stripped and cleaned his weapons, an activity that he always found soothing.
####
Linda was in a pensive mood when she returned to the ship. She placed her old N7 helmet on her desk, next to her private terminal and stood stroking the surface thoughtfully. A slight sound caught her attention; glancing up, she saw Garrus busily cleaning the weapons that she had left behind. Her mood lightened instantly. She stepped around the partition and watched him, a small smile on her face.
Sensing her presence, Garrus looked up. Without a word, he strode to Shepard, picked her up and returned to the couch where he settled her in his lap. Resting his cheek against her head, he began to rock her slowly, the way a mother rocks her child. Shepard snuggled closer and sighed. They sat in silence for several minutes before Garrus asked, "Better?" He felt Shepard nod against his chest. "Want to tell me about it?"
Shepard asked somewhat meekly, "Can we eat first? I'm starving."
Garrus laughed. "I know you're okay if you want to eat. Wait right here." He placed her on the couch, quickly reassembled the weapons he had cleaned and cleared the surface of the table. Shepard raised her brows as he reached under the table and pulled out several containers.
"I thought you might be hungry when you got back, so I had Rupert whip up a few of your old favorites." He pulled out dishes containing pizza, chili cheese fries, and a slaw dog.
Shepard laughed for the first time all day and reached out to stroke his mandible, "Garrus – I love you." He grinned back at her. Once Shepard had taken the edge off of her hunger, she began talking about her day.
"Alchera is striking; it has a desolate beauty about it that makes it appropriate as the final resting place of my ship – and crew. A large piece of the hull was in one piece; it still had 'Normandy' emblazoned on it ." She grew quiet as she remembered, then shook her head as she brought herself back to the present. "I even found Pressly's data pad. Most of the data was corrupted, but I was able to read enough to see that he had overcome his initial dislike of aliens and had grown to both respect and appreciate his non-human crewmates." Shaking her head again, she added quietly "He even said that he would gladly die for anyone of you." Looking at Garrus, Shepard could see that he was touched by this insight into his former crewmate. She continued, "The Mako was completely intact. Remember all of the missions we used it on?"
Garrus chuckled. "The missions aren't the only thing I remember – someone became a bit of a drama queen on several of those missions." Changing the pitch of his voice, he continued "Does every planet in this galaxy have these ridiculous mountain ranges? Why can't we ever land on a planet with plains or gently rolling hills?" Shepard laughed and stuck her tongue out at him. Dropping back into his normal voice he asked, "What about the missing crew members? Did you find any signs of them?"
Shepard nodded. "Amazingly enough, I found the dog tags for everyone. After that, I placed the memorial, said my final farewells and came home. The dog tags have already been returned to the Alliance; Admiral Hackett will make sure they get to the families. I would like to write the families and let them know how sorry I am for their loss and share some of my memories of the ones they lost, but I can't."
"Why not? I think it's an excellent idea."
"Think about it," Linda said sadly. "I died that day too, but I didn't stay that way. I was brought back, given a second chance at life – their loved ones are still dead. I'm afraid a letter from me might be like rubbing salt into wounds that are just starting to heal." She hung her head, overcome with sadness.
Garrus reached out to stroke her cheek. "I see your point." He wiped away the single tear running down her face. Lifting her chin gently, he told her, "You know Shepard, its okay to cry."
Shepard shook her head and took a deep breath, "I would rather channel these emotions into something useful. This mission is too important; I have to stay focused. Besides, crying isn't my style."
Garrus could see her starting to tremble. Lifting Linda to her feet, he stripped off her shipsuit, and wrapped her in her robe. Pulling the covers back, he placed her in the bed. After removing his own clothes, he curled up against her and pulled the covers over them both. Slowly, as the combined warmth of robe, covers, and turian soaked in, the trembling eased.
Shepard slid back, closer to Garrus and pulled his arms tighter around her. "Thank you," she whispered.
Smoothing her hair behind her ear, Garrus asked "For what?"
"For this. For being here. For being you."
"You're welcome." He leaned forward to nuzzle her ear and saw another tear rolling down her cheek; irritated, she wiped it away.
"I said that crying isn't my style, but I certainly seem to get teary-eyed a lot these days," she grumbled.
Garrus rolled Linda over to face him and pulled her close. "Shepard, a few tears don't change anything – you're still the toughest person I know. The things you have been through in the past couple of years would have broken most people, but you have come through with flying colors. True, you've changed some since I knew you before – you have a few chinks in your armor. But that's a good thing," he continued as she started to interrupt. "Those chinks give others a chance to see the woman behind the legend. Without those chinks, I probably wouldn't be lying here with you – I don't think the old Shepard would have let me get this close. Besides – I take your tears as a compliment."
"What?" Shepard replied, startled.
"You don't let anyone but me see your tears – that means that you're comfortable with me, you feel safe letting your guard down; it means that you trust me – and that is the biggest compliment that I could ever have."
Shepard nodded thoughtfully and then said, with a return of her wicked grin, "See, I told you that you're a teddy bear."
####
Memories - or perhaps premonitions - haunted the night. Garrus' dreams were dark and disturbing. He awoke with a start and began scanning the room for threats. Next to him, Linda moaned and thrashed in her sleep, crying out "No! NO!"
Garrus reached over and shook her gently, whispering "Wake up, Linda. Everything's okay. Wake up." She gasped and looked at him, but he knew she was still seeing her dreams. He stroked her cheek. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here, Shepard. Wake up."
Shepard's eyes focused slowly; she threw her arms around Garrus' neck with a muffled sob. "The Collectors...everyone was gone...I couldn't find you." She pulled back so that she could see his face. "I need you - don't go anywhere."
Garrus smiled as he stroked her cheek again, wiping away her tears. "Are you kidding? You couldn't get rid of me if you tried. I love you - we're a team. I'm not going anywhere." He pulled Shepard firmly against him; as he stroked her hair, he began humming. He felt her begin to relax.
"That's nice," Linda murmured sleepily. "What is it?"
Garrus sounded slightly surprised as he answered, "It's the song my mother used to sing to me when I was a child and had bad dreams. I haven't thought of it in years." He began humming again; in a few minutes, Shepard was asleep. Garrus stayed awake the rest of the night, guarding Shepard, keeping the Dream Collectors at bay.
