Disclaimer: :( just...no. *sobs*


The entire morning I had been restless. Barely receiving three hours of sleep, my mind was on shuffle. Usually, my couch provided great comfort to me. But as the estranged love of my life slept in the next room, I became a temporary insomniac. Her words from last night were instilled into my brain. "Sam. I really don't think I would have driven, how many miles? Oh yea, 343 miles in a day if I wasn't sure." It wasn't even what she said, but how she said it that was driving me insane.

Part of me didn't even want to sleep in fear that I'd wake up to find that everything was a dream, like many times before. I tossed and turned excessively; James even growled at me a few times. I fabricated my reaction for his benefit, but James was too adorable to be scary.

Attempting to get more rest was a waste, so I started my day. After recognizing that all of my clothes were in my room, also known as the place where Mercedes was, I had to brace myself. Going into that room meant seeing her fast asleep in my bed. The mere thought of it had my heart beating faster.

I wasn't remotely prepared for the emotions that surfaced when I opened the door. There she was, enjoying her slumber like deserved. At first, I was content. Last night, Mercedes' eyes reflected pain and misery; she was so out of body. I was happy that she was getting her rest. She appeared so peaceful; it moved me. Mercedes was tucked away under my comforter. The light snore that she was producing cast a grin upon my face.

Then, contentment transitioned to anger. I was so mad at myself. It should have never gotten to this point between us. Sure I had the memories, but did I even know her anymore? Due to stupid and careless mistakes, I hadn't just lost a girlfriend, but a best friend.

My heart sank, and now I was more upset than ever. Despair soared through me; I missed Mercedes so much that it was painful. A brief moment of insanity wished that she didn't come back. I knew a life together was impossible. This reappearance was false hope that I didn't need. Every bone in my body yearned for her touch. I had to force myself to not climb into the bed and just hold her. Thankfully, I had errands to run. But even those errands couldn't distract my thoughts. Everything kept leading back to her—to us.

During my morning church service, the pastor's sermon was all about "releasing your demons", "being honest with yourself", and "tackling your day-to-day struggles instead of worrying about the future." On the way to the vet, the radio played love songs incessantly as if it was Valentine's Day. When I got to the apartment, my favorite daytime morning show hosts were discussing "Relationships: When is it really over?" Even on my morning jog, thoughts of her flooded my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about her or the past.

I was back at the apartment for the rest of the day and I was still on edge. There was nothing else to do to keep me busy. After a few minutes of contemplation, I found myself cooking breakfast for Mercedes. I'll admit that cooking without a shirt on, especially with bacon, wasn't the brightest idea. But I couldn't go back into my bedroom again and risk an agonizing encounter. She could have been awake this time.

I was busy flipping the stacks of French toast when the sound of James' paws clacking on the floor and his excited bark alarmed me. I turned to see Mercedes standing there with James in her arms. As Mercedes stood there dressed in my sweats, sleep in her eyes, and hair tied up, she still managed leave me breathless. She probably would have disagreed with me wholeheartedly, but the "morning look" was sexy on her. Her cocoa brown eyes were intense. She was staring, but her gaze seemed to be focused on a point lower than my eyes. Where was my Avatar Snuggie when I needed it? For a split second, I forgot that I was shirtless. When I realized, I was more than self-conscious. But as I studied her eyes, they appeared to be filled with lust.

After a few awkward exchanges, I was headed down the hallway on a quest to dress my naked torso. I knew I should have scoped out a shirt earlier. As I redressed myself, I had to shake the thoughts of Mercedes ripping the shirt off of me from my head to prevent myself from doing anything stupid. We were both adults now, why was I so nervous? It wasn't like she had essentially told me she was still in love with me and that I absolutely returned those feelings, or anything.

When I returned to the kitchen, she was hovered over the counter. Mercedes had found it. I had trouble masking my feelings as I approached her. I explained to her that it had been a gift from my grandfather. Although he had died more than 10 years ago, it continued to affect me each and every day. I would never forget his precious words of advice. "Just listen," he said, "Just listen to the music. Whenever you're down and out, the lyrics to a song can be the therapy that you need."

I was lost in my memories when her voice stole my attention. Whenever Mercedes Jones sang a song, whether it had been a classic or the ABCs, the entire world stopped and listened. Her voice got me through the darkest times. Her voice was a magnet and I couldn't let go. No matter the circumstance, Mercedes became one with the song. The lyrics to So Far Away were ironically perfect. We were barely inches away from the other, but we couldn't have been further apart. There was a huge gap between us, and it was my responsibility to fill it.

We had just finished our impromptu kitchen performance. I was seconds close to breaking down all of the barriers and letting the tears flow when she broke the awkward silence.

"How about we eat then?" Her eyes were sincere as she wiped her own tears away.

Mercedes and I ate together at my small island and we didn't exchange one word. I was trying eat, but my stomach couldn't handle one more bite. It was there in that moment I decided that I needed to tell her. I needed to be honest with Mercedes.

"I've been thinking," I began. She was slightly taken aback, but she soon relaxed and focused her eyes upon mine. The words just began to flow. This was it; we'd finally clear the air. There would be no moving forward between us until I came clean. Her confused gaze disconcerted me, but I continued.

When she stopped me, I couldn't have been more unsettled.

"Sam, what dinner are you talking about?" My palms were sweatier than before and my throat was longing for water. I was praying to God that she was having a lapse of memory. She had to have known to about the dinner.

"The…the d-dinner that I had with your parents? The one I had with them short after graduation…the one you knew about, right?"

Mercedes' reaction gave me the answer that I didn't need. The breakfast that I had just finished eating could have easily been returned to its plate. She gasped for air and then proceeded to shake her head slowly.

"Mercedes? You have to have known about it. It must have slipped your-" Her forearms pushed against the edge of the counter and she slid her chair away. After hopping off of stool, she turned away from me. Nothing was connecting in my brain. I knew for certain that her parents hadn't approved of our relationship, but keeping her out of dark about this was something else. It was…shady.

"Sam, what happened? What did they say during that dinner?" Her back was facing me, but I could tell that more tears were developing by the quiver of her voice. It was official: Mercedes had no knowledge of this arrangement and I was the biggest idiot to have ever lived.

"I don't think it's important anymore…" The statement was less than a whisper. We were both discovering information that had been hidden for years. I thought that by telling Mercedes about the reasons behind my stupidity would have changed our situation for the better. Instead, I was making it worse.

Mercedes swiftly turned to face me and she was furious. "SAM! You can't drop a bomb like this on me and just say 'it's not important anymore!'"

My mouth could have caught a billion flies. I just stood there with my mouth open. I didn't see him, but James' tags jingled again, which indicated that he was in the kitchen with us. I desperately wanted someone to knock on the door. Hell, I wanted something to fall through my roof from the second floor. Anything that could have removed me from this situation would have been great. But as I realized there was no escaping this moment, I had to say something.

"They…well…your parents called and invited me to dinner at your house a few days after graduation. I didn't even think to talk to you about it because I was still shocked, you know?" After a blank stare from Mercedes, it was clear that she just wanted me to get to the point. I hung my head low to avoid her eyes. I wasn't ready for the reaction that was on its way.

"Your mother specifically told me to just let go of you; to break things off. That love would never be enough to save our relationship…"

The irritation in her voice made me jump. "No….no no no! I'll admit that she didn't want you in my life…but to tell you to….Sam, I heard you and Mike talking that day. You wanted to break up with me. It was too much for you…" She had backed away even further and the look in her eyes gave me an unwanted feeling. It was a combination of sadness and anger. I had only seen that look in her eyes twice. The first time had been at Rachel's party after she had accused me of leaving her for Quinn. And the second time had been just a month ago at her house.

Mercedes overhearing the conversation between Mike and I was also new information, but I figured that that discussion was unnecessary. "And after Mike and I talked, I decided that I needed to rethink some things. But it wasn't until that night…listen I'm not blaming your parents. I'm not blaming anyone, but I thought you knew! That's why I wrote that letter."

If I would have reacted one second later, Mercedes would have been on the ground. I rushed to her side and held her up. She was trembling and kept muttering, "I can't believe this."

"C'mon, let's get you to the couch so you can sit," I said trying to sound brave. But on a scale of one to scared, I was petrified. I aided her to the couch; Mercedes was staring off into space as we got situated. Not caring if it was appropriate or not, I pulled her close to me and made sure her head was resting on my shoulder. We sat there together until her breathing became normal again.

"I know that this has been a crazy and unexpected morning, but are you going to be okay?" I felt her tense and she immediately jerked away from me.

"No, I am not going to be okay." Her voice was just as hoarse as mine. "The nerve of that fucking woman! I can't believe I defended her for one second. She…this morning, she called to bitch at me about wedding details. Wedding details! She didn't even ask if I was okay, or if I was even alive. I could be dead somewhere in a ditch, and she'd only care about the waste of my wedding dress." Mercedes furiously wiped a tear from her eyes.

At first, I only heard wedding dress. I couldn't control my heart as I pictured her walking down the aisle to meet me at the altar. Nothing would matter except for me and her. I'd look her into the eyes, tell her that she was the most beautiful woman in the entire galaxy, and make her my wife in front of a packed church.

But when her actual statement sunk in, I balled my fists. I hated this. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't disagree with her. Many times when we were together, I found myself rocking her to sleep after arguments with her mother. It thoroughly pissed me off when someone didn't see the excellence and the beauty in Mercedes Jones, especially when it was her own mother.

"My father is even worse. He just sits there and lets her do all of these horrid things! I just don't get it, when I was younger, she was my hero. And now…I don't even know what to call her. I am angry. I am livid. And I am completely stunned, Sam. They kept this from me for years. I don't know who to be more upset with, you or them."

My eyebrows furrowed at her statement. Mercedes being pissed at her parents was a given. But her frustration with me about the dinner puzzled me. I had been blindsided myself!

Her laughter lacked humor and her smile was tight. "Oh? So, you don't think I should be upset with you? I can't believe that you actually thought that I would do something so…wrong! Breaking up with you through my parents is a bitch move. If I wanted to break up with you, I would have done it to your face. Not through my parents and definitely not through a letter." And just like that, the emotional daggers came out and stabbed me continually. Unlike the night before, she hadn't apologized for her vicious, but true words. She continued to stare me down and it made me uncomfortable. My fingernails gained my attention and I refused to look at her.

"Everything in letter was true. I wasn't good enough. You deserved better than me." She scoffed and her arms crossed against her chest. I lifted my head to meet her eyes and she was not amused.

"Really? Please, please enlighten me, Sam! Tell me what I need; explain the definition of good enough!" Mercedes was yelling so loud that it hurt my eardrum. James must have followed us into the living room sometime after we sat down because he was now shaking at my feet. I decided that yelling back wouldn't have been a rational decision. Her rage could have been felt miles away, and I didn't want to threaten my safety.

I took her left hand and placed it in mine. My thumb gently slid across the stone; it was most likely a diamond. The ring was beautiful. This time, I didn't fight the puddles of emotion. Tears slid down my cheeks, but I forced a smile.

"This ring would have taken me the rest of my life to pay for. I bet Greg didn't even have to think about it. And have you seen where you live?" I was quite unsure of what verb tense to use. Was that house even considered hers anymore?

I gestured around my living room and then took her hand again. "You deserve better than this small apartment. You deserve this ring. You deserve a lot of things that I just can't give you." Saying it aloud hurt worse than I imagined. "And that night on your porch, I was right! You found a guy that could give you those things." After I said it, I remembered the reason why she was here a little too late. Before I could fit my enormous foot into my mouth, she spoke again.

"Wow." She looked down into her lap. Her eyes then roamed to something on the floor. Mercedes stretched her arm down and retrieved the blue cloth from the floor. The blanket with sleeves lay across her knees. "Unfortunately, I've come down to two realizations." Her tone of expression was unreadable; my stomach churned.

"Firstly, it's a shame. It's a shame because your move back to Tennessee was completely useless. And secondly, it really sucks because it's like you don't know me at all. Did you ever know me?" I used to fingers of my free hand to massage my temple. My head was throbbing and everything that rolled off her tongue made it worse.

"Mercedes, what are you talking about?" Exhaustion wasn't even the word. It bewildered me that a conversation could leave you physically drained.

"That night on my porch, you said that you had to 'find yourself', right? If I remember correctly, you were done with letting 'other people create the guy who was Sam Evans.' What about your financial situation not defining you anymore, huh? You said that that next day would be a new start for you, but I look at you now and you're the same eighteen year old boy." Her words should have hurt, but I was nothing but understanding. Her hand was still in mine and she squeezed it tight.

"Like I said, I don't think you ever knew me. Because if you did, you'd know that the material shit didn't matter. It still doesn't matter!" She placed her right hand over her lips.

"Please look at me, Sam," she pleaded. Her face was softer; the look of hatred long gone. She tugged my hand towards her and I scooted closer. "I called you a few days later…after I got the letter. I was leaving you a voicemail, but I got cut off mid-sentence."

I could have died. My heart stopped abruptly and my stomach did a somersault that could have made a gymnast jealous. That message she had left played on loop for at least a week. "I just want to say one last thing…. Sam you were wrong-" I never built up the courage to call back, but it gnawed at me for weeks.

"I was calling to tell you that you were more than good enough," she broke into a sob. "That I had been blessed with a lot in my life, but it was you that I was most thankful for. You were more than good enough Sam." Mercedes bit her lip so hard that I feared it would bleed. I leaned over to the small table in front of us to fetch tissues. She mumbled a "thanks" as I handed her the entire box.

How was I so lucky, so blessed to have her in my life? I didn't know how to accept it. Her words, this moment, everything; where the hell would we go from here?

"And what about now, Mercedes? Am I still more than enough?" Right then and there probably wasn't the best time to ask that question, but I needed to know.

Instead of answering me immediately, she tossed the Snuggie towards me and rose from the couch. She stood before me, hands on her hips. "James doesn't get car sick, does he?"

"No…wait, why?" James was still at the foot of the couch when Mercedes picked him up.

"Because, we're taking a trip. There's something that I need to do. Something that's long overdue." She began to leave, but she turned back.

"But I think you already know the answer to that question."

She practically ran down that hallway. James and I were alone in the living room. The turn of events was unsettling. But because of it, it was clear that I did, in fact, know Mercedes. And if I knew her as well as I thought, her parents were about to receive a huge surprise.


A/N: Ohhhhkay. So, I really thought that I would have updated before now, but let's just say this past weekend hasn't been the smoothest. Firstly, this chapter is named after the song, Tears Dry on Their Own by Amy Winehouse. Please, let's remember Amy for her talent. She was an amazing artist. Secondly, my heart and prayers go out to everyone in Norway. If you pray, pray for them. If you don't, just keep the people of Oslo in your thoughts. It's extremely devastating to hear about all of the hate and hurting going on in the world.

Finally, the news of Chord not returning and everything else to expect in Season 3…let's just say if I said all that I wanted to, this Author's Note would be an essay. So with that being said, I'm just going to say that Chord is moving on to other things in his life, and we need to support him! SAMCEDES FOREVER. Read and Review! I love you all.