25 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black
Tell him Justin Bieber wants a date
Steal all of his music and replace it with "soothing dog noises"
For his birthday, give him dog collars and flea shampoo
Whenever he does good in school, reward him with doggy treats
When out shopping, keep him away from the cats at the pet store
During sleepovers, when everyone else is eating junk food, give him dog food
Every time you need to go out places grab a dog collar and leash and say "come on puppy! Time for your walkies!"
After telling him its time for walkies, proceed with placing the collar around his neck and attaching the leash to the collar.
When he does something naughty, swat his nose and say "Bad doggie!" In a strong but firm voice.
When you forget to do your homework, blame it on Jacob.
Only allow him to eat out of a dog bowl.
Make sure he is aware that he isn't allowed on any furniture. This includes not being allowed to sit at the table for meals.
He is only allowed to do his business outdoors.
The only time he is allowed off his leash outside of the house is when he's at the dog park playing Frisbee with the other dogs.
Redesign his room so that all his chew toys are in one corner, there's an easy accessible doggy door to outside for whenever he needs to do his business, his doggy bed with teddy bear in another corner and drawings of other dogs on the walls.
Have conversations with him in dog language.
Every year his birthday is celebrated by how many more dog years older he is rather than human years.
If he isn't happy to see you when he comes home, threaten him with having him put down.
Bring him grocery shopping with you so he can help you pick his favourite flavour of kibble.
Set up doggy play dates with your friend's pet dogs.
When he's left home alone, make sure he knows the rules and lock up the cupboards and fridge but fill his food and water dishes.
Feed him your food scraps after a meal.
When he reaches puppy puberty, make sure he understands the concept of "the birds and the fleas."
Nickname him Fido.
Once he gets used to being treated like a dog, start treating him like a human.
A/N: Okay so this is the last chapter for this fic. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed it! Thank you to every review. If you enjoyed this one, you might enjoy some of my other Twilight stuff that I'm going to finish off soon. I want to start some new fics that relate to what I'm now interested in so yeah. :) enjoy!
