A/N: For optimal reading pleasure when Rayne and Reiner are alone, start listening to Guts Theme from Berserk. You will not be disappointed. Enjoy!
I laid there in my tent, thinking about what had happened just now. Reiner looked so scared and hurt and I couldn't help him. I kept thinking of what his nightmare was about and why he was so worried about me hating him. I couldn't figure it out. I brought my hand up to my throat, feeling the soreness from when Reiner had me in his hands. I knew it was going to bruise and as much as it scared me to think that the hands that have so gently touched me just the previous day were slowly trying to squeeze the life out of me, I couldn't bear to hold it against him. I can't count the number of times I started thrashing and lashing out in my sleep, Mikasa having to coax me and pull me from my nightmares.
I wanted to go look for him but I gave him his privacy. He was fighting something and I didn't want to get in the way. So I just laid there and waited until the sun started to rise. I got up and quickly began to put on my uniform. I exited my tent and stretched, breathing in the fresh air. I brought my hand up to my bruised cheek and winced. It hurt a lot more now than it did yesterday but I remembered that it was no one's fault but my own. Reiner would never have done that it I hadn't made him so mad.
I winced as my head began to pound. I started feeling something grow inside me. I couldn't figure out why and I was shocked when I realized it was anger that was rising up in me. Anger towards Reiner. He started that whole confrontation yesterday when he refused to say thanks for saving the deer and killing the wolf. Why was I still mad about that? Where was this anger coming from? I was starting to feel like a different person, the same person that yelled at Mikasa for implying the feelings I had towards Reiner, the same person that wanted to punch Reiner that first night he kissed me. This person felt so familiar and yet so unknown at the same time, yet I was sure that they were both me.
It is you. This is you, Rayne. Stop playing soldier, that is not who you are. No one here is your friend. You have no friends. All you have is the mission.
"Rayne?" I was so startled at the sound of someone calling my name that I instantly lashed out and swung my fist. Mikasa blocked effortlessly, her expression worried. I stared at her confused, because for a few seconds I didn't know who she was.
"M-Mikasa?" I asked, a sweat starting to form along my brow. I released my fists and let my arms relax at my sides. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." I looked down at the arm that she had used to block my attack with. "You're not hurt, are you?"
"No, I'm fine. What about you? I saw you standing here, you had a pained look on your face and you were muttering to yourself." I tried to remember something, anything, about before Mikasa showed up but it was hard. I remember hearing a voice talking, but it didn't sound like Mikasa. Was it me?
"I'm alright." I said, trying to calm my heartbeat down. "It was just a nightmare." I reached up and started pulling my hair up in my handkerchief. Mikasa grabbed the front of my shirt and lifted my chin. She must've found the bruises.
"Rayne." She said fiercely. "Who did this to you?!" She yelled, as people began to crowd around us, others emerging from their tents.
"Did what?" I asked, trying to play off that I had no idea what she was talking about.
"Your neck! Someone tried to strangle you!" I looked away from Mikasa, only for my eyes to fall on Reiner. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was taking in the scene with an unknown look.
"I did it," I took her arms in my hands and tried to get her to calm down. I lowered my voice to keep others from hearing. "I was fighting someone off in my nightmare. I woke up with my own hands around my throat. That's what happened." Mikasa's eyes softened and she pulled me into a hug.
"Oh, Rayne." I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling bad for lying to her. But I couldn't tell her or anyone the truth. I didn't want to risk Reiner getting severely punished for what happened, not to mention him being in my tent at that hour. I knew it was an accident but what if other's didn't see it that way? My eyes looked up and found his again. I don't know why but I glared at him. I stared him down as if he were my enemy, someone who shouldn't be trusted. I felt the anger start to rise up again but I just closed my eyes and released Mikasa.
I wasn't that person. I wasn't someone who was filled with hate and got upset over stupid little things. Reiner made me see that. He helped me see that I was better than the girl with no memory who looked at the world with nothing but mistrust. I know I can trust Reiner. I know that he is a good person. What I saw early this morning was just the night bringing back the terrors of what he saw happened when the walls were breached.
When my eyes found him again, I smiled.
He smiled back.
/
That day we were able to fly through the trees with our ODM gear, slaying artificial titans. I found out that I was very good at this. I was able to put all my hatred for the titans in my movements, cutting the nape exactly right to guarantee a kill. I grinned as I flew from target to target, hardly leaving anything for the other cadets to do. I made it back to the checkpoint and grinned widely to myself.
I couldn't wait to try it out on the real thing.
"Cadet Lee," I turned to see the commandant walking up to me. I gave a salute as he approached. "I want to commend you again on your bravery in the woods and also the improvement I have been seeing with your actions towards your peers. The mission with Cadet Braun seemed to have gone well and it's good to see that you have begun to trust your fellow cadets more. Also, I've heard talk going around, and all anyone can talk about is your encounter with the wolf. It seems that everyone has dubbed you Wolf Slayer Lee. It's not everyday we see a cadet so eager to lay their life down for the good of others. Usually, people come here with only regards to themselves or their families." I began to think if he was referring to those joining the Military Police. "I want you to know, and I don't do this often, but I sent out that pelt of the wolf you slayed to an acquaintance of mine who specializes in crafting articles of clothing out of animal pelts. When we get back to the training facility, you will have a new cloak. I have very high hopes for you, Cadet Lee. I think you have something special, and that is going to make you into a great soldier." I gave him another salute.
"Thank you so much, Commandant Sadies. I will not let you down. I will be as great a soldier as I can be." He simply nodded and turned away.
Warrior. Warrior. Warrior!
"No, stop it!" I harshly whispered, clutching my head again. The commandant stopped and turned back to me.
"Was there something else, Lee?" I looked up at him, I kept hearing that voice in my head.
"What does it mean to be a warrior?" He gave me a confused look and I started to realize what I said. "Soldier, I mean." He simply nodded to me.
"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." He walked away from me again and I stood there, desperately fighting to keep that voice away.
xxxxxxx
The rest of the week was an absolute hell. I couldn't face Rayne, not after what I did, not after knowing of what Bertolt was planning to do. We made it back to the training facility and despite our minimal contact, Rayne seemed to continue to grow as a person. She talked to more people and smiled a lot. But I was able to tell something was off about her, when she was alone, she would clench her eyes tight, and talk to herself. I was afraid that if the commandant or anyone else noticed it, she would be deemed unfit for duty. She was able to keep people from noticing, her fits not lasting more than a few seconds.
On our first day back at the barracks, we started learning about hand to hand combat. We were to spar with a partner, not stopping until successfully disarming them.
I was paired up with Eren. He was quite skilled at combat, but his temper seemed to make him act without thinking, which sometimes got him into trouble. We were pretty evenly matched, I would take my losses same as him but I never hesitated to show him what he could've done differently to bring me down.
"Gah!" He exclaimed. "I almost had you that time." I helped him up and patted his back.
"You underestimate your opponent. It doesn't matter who you're fighting, you have to always be ready for anything because most of the time, that anything will end up happening." I looked up and saw Rayne. She and Mikasa were sparring, causing people to stop and watch when the commandant wasn't looking. I was beginning to get familiar with Rayne's fighting technique. She tried to use her size to her advantage, whether her opponent was bigger or smaller. She was quick and that worked for her, she also never hesitated to use her power, to trap her prey in a finishing move.
"Oh, they're at it again." Eren said. I was grateful he had assumed I was watching the girls spar and not one girl in particular. "Man, those are two girls I hope to never have to fight. Rayne and Mikasa are something else when they fight. It's like they disregard everything around them and focus on eliminating their opponent. It's pretty scary if you ask me." I didn't say anything. I have fought with Rayne and I was able to beat her, was it because she didn't see me as an actual threat? I began to dread the day I ever had to find out the true extent of her fighting power.
/
The week ended with our graduation. Over 200 cadets made it and I ranked second in the class. I couldn't contain my excitement. I was going to head to the Military Police, retrieve the Founding Titan and go back home. I looked over at the rest of the cadets who had graduated in the top ten. Rayne was not among us. I had heard that she had deliberately got barely passing scores in the classroom studies, because she had no desire to make it in the top ten. Once we were released and all gathered in the huge dining hall to celebrate, I looked for Rayne. She was standing with Mikasa, Armin and Eren. I turned away, looking down at the cup in my hand. I really needed to talk to her, but I was still worried about Bertolt, and if she would even talk to me. I was just about to stand, when I heard yelling. I looked over at where the noise was coming from and I saw Rayne with another cadet's shirt in her fist, Mikasa and Armin trying to pull her off. She was going on about how the Titan's were nothing but things that needed to be wiped off the face of the planet. And that anyone who already feared them without at least trying to fight, was nothing but a coward who never should've aspired to be a soldier in the first place.
She released the cadet's shirt and turned and walked away. Eren began giving his own speech but I didn't pay too much attention. I watched as Rayne walked away, pulling up the hood to her cloak. I had to talk to her, I had to tell her how sorry I was before Bertolt acted out his plan. When I noticed Eren, Armin and Mikasa start to follow after her, I hesitated. They would most likely be with Rayne and I didn't know if I was ready to show them how I felt about her.
I started following them before I even realized it. I don't care about what Bertolt's thinking or about what Armin and Eren will think. I needed to hold Rayne in my arms. I had to tell her how sorry I was about what happened the last time I saw her.
She was sitting on some steps, looking up at the sky with Armin, Mikasa and Eren. She had the hood to her wolf pelt cloak up and I called to her once I was at the top of the steps. Everyone turned to look at me but she turned last. When her eye's made contact with mine, the light of the lit torches glowing in them. the dark fur or her hood obstructing her face, made me remember an old rumor that I heard back in Marley.
~No, you're crazy, Marcel. There's only nine Titan Powers. Where the Hell did you get that there were ten?"
"I overheard Zeke talking about it. He has a lead on the missing link that will give us a tenth Titan power. Can you imagine it, Reiner? Those devils are going to cower in absolute fear when they get a look of it. I don't know what it looks like and even I'm shaking!"
"Well, what is it? What is the Titan Power?"~
Rayne's hazel eyes, glowing with the fire light, the black fur of the wolf against her skin. I couldn't stop the shaking when I heard those words in my head.
'They're calling it The Wolf Titan.'
"Reiner, I wanted to congratulate you on coming in second." Eren said as he stood and walked toward me. "That's really impressive." I looked at him and grinned, focusing on keeping my cool with everyone.
"If anything, we should be congratulating Mikasa for being number one." I said as Eren stood next to me. "You should head to the Military police with that rank."
"If Eren goes, so will I." She said. I saw Rayne stand up and she turned, pulling the hood off of her face. For a second, I felt my heart stop. She had a blank look when she looked at me. I didn't know how to react to that. She walked up the steps and before I could say anything, she wrapped her arms around me. I felt embarrassed at first. I looked over and saw Eren and Armin's face. They had a look of shock and confusion but Mikasa had a small smile. I felt Rayne press her head against my chest and her grip got tighter. I wrapped my arms around her as well.
"H-hey, you guys?" Eren started to say something but Mikasa just pulled him and Armin away.
"Let's go, they just need to talk about something." Mikasa said as they got farther away.
"What would they have to talk about that requires that?" Eren asked. I felt Rayne laugh and I couldn't help but laugh with her.
"Reiner," She looked up at me, I looked into her eyes, and I saw that they were filled with need. Her cheeks were flushed as she was pressing her body against mine. "Kiss me." She whispered. I lifted her up in my arms and brought her lips to mine. I felt an explosion of emotion, lots of them I couldn't explain. I kissed her with a passion that I had only thought was possible when fighting in battle. Her legs were wrapped around my waist and I broke the kiss, looking into her eyes.
"Rayne," I sighed. "Tomorrow, I'm going to-" She placed a finger to my lips, cutting me off.
"I know, Reiner. I've been dreading this moment all week," I looked at her in surprise, could that have been the reason for her strange behavior? "You're going to be leaving me tomorrow." I turned away from her before answering.
"Yes." I replied. She made me face her again and I looked at her face, the lights of the torches casting us in an odd glow. "You knew this would happen, Rayne."
"I did." She kept her eyes on me. "I just," She got really red and she finally looked away from me. "I don't want you to leave without showing you how I feel about you." She looked back up at me and I saw in her eyes what she meant.
Did she really mean that? Was she really to offer up something that precious to a piece of shit like me?
"Rayne, what are you saying?" She kissed me again, her arms tight around me, her fist clenching the back of my shirt. She wrapped her legs tighter around me, her body flush against mine. She kissed me harder, biting my bottom lip. I hissed in either pleasure or pain. I didn't know for sure. But I was able to tell what Rayne wanted.
She wanted me, in the most intimate way.
"I want you to take me to your room, Reiner." I swallowed nervously. It wasn't that I didn't want Rayne, I had only thought about it a hundred times. Now that it was about to actually happen, I was scared, worried that I would do something wrong or hurt her. 'No,' I thought. 'You can't think like that. Just relax and let it happen.' I put her down and checked to make sure we were still alone, before grabbing her hand and pulling here through the gaps of the buildings to make sure no one would see us. We got the building I was staying in and we quickly ran in, running straight into my dark room. I looked over at the bed, the moon was trying to break through the clouds that were formed. Rayne walked past me and went to sit on the edge of the bed.
I walked over to her and she opened her legs to me, the fabric of her skirt hanging down between them. I got close to her, kissing her again. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around me again. I laid her down and stopped kissing her, looking down at her beautiful face. She smiled at me in a way I have never seen her smile at anyone. We got farther up on the bed and she sat up to remove her cloak. She didn't stop there. She removed her shirt also and I did the same. My hands were shaking at the sight of her, bathed in moonlight underneath me. Just as I had always imagined.
She started to take off her undershirt but I replaced her hands with mine, confidence coming from an unknown source. I felt the same heat began to rise in my groin, which I'm sure she felt, with me being so close to her. She shuddered underneath me and her hands moved to my pants. I pulled her skirt along with her undershorts down her slim legs. I almost climaxed right there. I had seen her naked before, but nothing like this. She got my pants down to my thighs, my undershorts doing a poor job of hiding the full blown erection I had. I leaned down to kiss her, my hands reaching up to remove her handkerchief and I began to run my fingers through her soft, short hair. She wrapped her legs tight around me, pulling me to her. She shuddered again as I began to rub against her through my undershorts.
"Reiner," she moaned, her voice full of lust. With shaking hands, I removed my last article of clothing. I was now fully exposed, my body pressed against hers. She placed her hands on my cheeks, rubbing her thumb against my jaw line. "Make love to me," She whispered.
"Okay, darling." I leaned down, kissing her again, before sliding into her. She cried out, and I stopped. "Are you okay?" She nodded.
"I'm fine. Please, Reiner." She begged and I slid deeper into her. She moaned this time, and I couldn't believe the feeling I had. I had never felt anything more pleasurable or desirable as making love. I pulled out slowly only to thrust back into her again. She moaned again, her eyes on me, lust and love visible in them. I kissed her lips again, moving slowly down the bruised side of her face, to her neck. I kissed a spot underneath her ear and let out another moan. "Oh, Reiner." I continued going into her, my speed increasing with every thrust. She had her legs around me, they were shuddering uncontrollably.
"Rayne," I moaned into her hair, I looked at her again and she had a look on her face which I could only describe as pure joy.
Suddenly, she pushed against me and I sat up, keeping my throbbing manhood deep inside her. She was in my lap, pushing herself onto me. I moaned out, my brain seeming to shut off for a few seconds. She continued to practically bounce slowly onto me, arching her back as she moaned out. "Reiner. Reiner. Reiner." I gripped her tightly to me, my face against her bare breast, which were covered in a thin sheen of sweat. I kissed her chest gently, looking up at her as she continued to take control over me.
I felt a growl rise up in my throat and I pushed her back down onto the bed. She gave me a wild grin and I raised her legs, resting them on my shoulders. I pressed my body close to hers, her knees almost touching her body. I used my hips to continue my assault on her, my thrusts coming faster and faster. She continued to moan and she ran her nails against my back, leaving deep scratches. I hissed in pleasure and leaned my forehead against hers, looking deep into her eyes.
"Oh, god. Rayne." I moaned, starting to feel my climax approaching. I felt her shuddering underneath me, my name falling from her lips. She bucked her hips into mine, right as I felt my seed explode deep into her. I collapsed onto my bed next to her, breathing heavily. I looked over at her, her chest rising and falling, the moon shining beautifully through the window. She looked over at me, and smiled. I smiled back and kissed her softly.
"Reiner." She said softly. "Please don't leave me. I know you have your path and the last thing I wanted to do was get in the way of that, but..." She closed her eyes, tears falling from them. I propped myself up on my elbow and wiped her tears away softly with my thumb.
"But what Rayne? Tell me, please." She looked back up at me, with shining hazel eyes.
"I love you." I didn't expect to hear that from her, not in a million years. Rayne Lee loved me. I didn't think it was possible to love a monster.
"I love you too." I whispered, as I kissed her again. I held her close to me in my arms, tears escaping from my eyes as well. I couldn't leave now. I had to stay here with her.
I had no idea how this was going to go over with Bertolt and the mission but I didn't care about that. I was starting to think that maybe things could change, that maybe running away from all of this with Rayne wasn't such a far fetched idea.
All I knew was I couldn't leave. I had fallen hard in love and I didn't regret it one bit.
A/N: Okay so sorry for how long this took to get out also for how long it is! I apologize dearly! Also I want to say that this story has gotten over 1000 views! I can't believe that, you guys! That makes me so happy! I love you all! Please leave reviews on how yall think this chapter went. Especially that last scene! I'd love to hear feedback from my readers! I hope yall enjoy this!
~XXXO
