Lupin watched her sitting quietly next to the other man named Dawlish. He couldn't help but feel a swell of jealously building in him as he saw the way Dawlish was eyeing her. He had thought that Mrs. Weasley made up the entire tale as a way of punishing Remus, but now seeing the younger man stare at Tonks, he realized that it must have been some what true. Despite the run of jealously now coursing through him, Remus felt ashamed for reacting that way. If other men were interested in Tonks, which he didn't know how they could not be, then it was a good thing. It showed hope that eventually she would have a chance to move on. But as he looked at her, he realized how much he did not want that to happen. He never felt so selfish in his life.

Tonks looked different. She didn't look like herself, as if the light that had shown so brightly in her before was suddenly turned off. Her hair was brown and her skin pale. As Dawlish stared her down, she seemed completely unaware of his attention, looking lost in thought and staring at the far wall in the Three Broomsticks. When Remus had first seen her, he nearly fell over.

Had he done this?, he wondered to himself.

He felt a cringe of sickness at the thought and all he wanted to do was scoop her up into his arms and take her home with him, begging for forgiveness.

Of course that's not what he did.

Instead, he decided to watch her, under a disillusion charm, bidding time until he decide what he should do.

Then again, he knew what he should do already.

He should go home, leave her alone, and move on with his life.

He just didn't want to do it.

Remus had always prided himself on rationality, but sitting there at the Three Broomsticks, acting like a jealous stalker while risking being seen before he had even begun spying, was completely irrationally. It did not take a genius to figure that one out. Yet Lupin could not help but drink in the sight of her. It had only been several weeks since he'd seen her last, yet it felt like years and he didn't think he could leave without at least talking to her once more.

At first he promised himself just a glance, but once seeing her appearance, he reasoned with himself that he should stick around to make sure she was alright. Then he had followed her into the Three Broomsticks and watched as Dawlish walked up to her and sat down. After that he could not tare himself away, cold jealously trickling through him as he watched them exchange greetings.

He was going absolutely mad and the saddest part was that he knew it but didn't seem to want to do anything to change that fact.

Tonks suddenly stood up from her place at the bar, distracting Remus' thoughts, and began making her way towards the bathroom.

Now was his chance, Remus thought to himself. Whatever he had come here to tell her, which he wasn't entirely sure what that was, needed to be done now while she was alone.

He quickly rose and chased after her, taking care not to bump into anything that would draw attention to his invisible form. As he neared her, Tonks was nearing the bathroom door. Just before she had a chance to reach out her hand to grab the handle, her left foot stumbled over the right and Lupin watched as she fell sideways onto the floor. She let out a soft cry of pain and Remus immediately panicked.

Shes hurt, he thought instantly and before he knew what sort of irrational git had possessed him, he ran over and enclosed his arms around her upper body while pulling out his wand.

Tonks, feeling the invisible arms engulf her, panicked and took but a second to start scratching and struggling to free herself from her unknown attacker. She was just about to cry out for help when Lupin Apparated them to the Burrow in a rush.

Her crys met the walls of the empty house instead and she threw herself off of Remus, pulling out her wand and quickly standing up in a dazed panic. Lupin watched for a horrified moment as she spun around in a circle trying to find the intruder.

"Whose there?!" she cried out.

Remus, suddenly realizing what he had done, froze.

This is going to be the most embarrassing moment of my life, he thought as he reluctantly pulled out his wand and lightly tapped his head with it. The trickling feeling slowly made its way down his body until he was visible to the naked eye once more.

Tonks spun around at the movement and on catching sight of Remus, immediately dropped her raised wand to her waist and stared in shock at him. Her jaw slacked slightly and confusion stretched across her face.

"Remus?" she asked after a moment. The two of them stared at eachother, one not knowing what to say to the other. Remus felt himself give a rather childish shrug at her inquiry and remained silent, trying to find a good enough way to explain himself.

"What-" she started, but then stopped, as if not sure what she should be asking.

"You were hurt." Remus tried, beginning to feel a blush creep up his face. There was no logical way of explaining his actions without sounding like a complete fool.

"What?" she asked, looking even more confused then before.

"You fell and were hurt, so I brought you here." He said simply.

She merely blinked at him, still not understanding what had transpired. She looked down at herself, as if looking for an injury. Naturally, there were none since she had only fallen lightly and Remus blushed a deeper red as the ridiculousness of his overreaction was evident.

"Why were you at the Three Broomsticks?" she asked quizzically, turning up to meet his eyes.

Remus hesitated to answer, deciding if he should lie or not. He had never been very good at it and the last time he had done so with Tonks, she had slapped him.

"I wanted to see you." He replied, deciding on the truth.

He watched as Tonks' face changed from confusion to a solid blank expression. Something flickered in her eyes and Remus could not tell if she was extremely angry or possibly hopeful. Perhaps it was both, he thought to himself.

A minute passed and Tonks had still not spoken, only looking at him. Remus began to fidget under her stare and decided to try and break the silence.

"You look…" he paused, not sure how to describe her new appearance. "different." He finished.

"So do you." She replied. Her body language shifted into conservative motions, keeping her gestures short and having taken a step away from him. Remus felt a string pull within him at her changed demeanor. It was as if she was protecting herself from him, not willing to let him in any longer. The realization hurt more than Remus could have ever anticipated and he frowned back at her.

"I must say I miss the color." He stated, trying to re-bridge the cold divide that had fallen between them. It was a sad attempt but Remus felt desperate. Looking at her stony face had Remus suddenly longing for the times when they had laughed freely together inside the library of Grimmaulds. That seemed so long ago now.

"I'm sure that's not all you miss." Tonks replied calmly, as if reading his mind. Remus shifted his weight awkwardly. Why was it so easy for her to share her feelings and so difficult for him?

"I wanted-" Remus started, but Tonks quickly cut him off.

"I should go." She said abruptly, and moved to raise her wand again. Remus quickly shot out his arm to grab a hold of hers.

"Please. Don't leave." He begged, looking at her with pleading eyes. They were close and Remus relished in the small contact they were now sharing. Tonks looked up at him, sadness radiating from her expression.

"Remus, what more do you want from me?" she replied in barely a whisper.

The words hit Remus like a tons of emotional bricks and he fully understood the crushing misery he had forced Tonks to go through. He had wanted to keep her safe, but in this moment she seemed as broken as he was.

"I just want to explain." He whispered back. "I just want you to know the truth." He released his hand on her arm and took a step to the side, properly facing her. "I lied, Tonks." He said earnestly.

Tonks head shot up in astonishment and Remus recognized the hope he might be giving her.

"But I lied with good reason." He rushed on quickly, trying to bat away any glimmer of promise she might have been feeling. "I care about you more than you can possibly know," he continued, reaching forward for her hands and coupling them with his own. "But it is because I care about you that I won't allow myself to be with you."

Tonks shook her head in disbelief at his persistence.

"But, why Remus? Why? I don't understand." She replied, once again allowing herself to open up with him. She had already been rejected before, she wasn't sure if she could endure it a second time.

"There are so, so many reasons and I'm sure you already know them all." He replied calmly.

"But I don't care." Tonks said desperately, mimicking her conversation with him only weeks prior.

"Yes, but I do. I care!" Remus quickly replied. The anger was at himself, at his condition and curse for depriving him of so many things he wanted. A job, friends, a stable family; they were all victims of the plague that surrounded him. Out of all the things he's missed in life, he was sure it would be Tonks that he would feel the most bitter about. Nothing could or ever would replace her.

"I love you," he continued, his voice quieting. " but I refuse to lose you like everyone else I've known."

He looked back at her, expecting some sort of retort at his outburst, but she only looked at him with pity in her eyes.

"You wouldn't lose me." She said quietly and Remus should his head in disagreement.

"No. You don't get it. I am old and barely half the man I used to be. There is nothing, nothing, that comes with my love except pain and death. It has been proven true all my life and I'll be damned if I expose you to that."

The tiny amount of optimism that developed in the beginning, slowly slipped away as Tonks took in what he was saying. It was as she had expected, he was rejecting her once again. Like taring open a barely healed wound, Tonks felt the tears beginning to sting in her eyes once more as the scene at the stairs played in her mind like a cruel form of déjà vu.

"Why are you telling me this? Why even bother?" She said, slowly removing her hands from his and looking at him with a large amount of contempt.

Remus ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Because I'm leaving…and I don't know what will happen." He replied "My greatest regret would have been not telling you how I felt."

A harsh snob ripped through the room and Remus could do nothing as Tonks turned her face away from him, trying to keep her composure. He watched as she wiped tears away from her face, only to be replaced by more.

"I'm…," her voice cracked in between small sniffles. "I'm so glad to have helped you then."

"Tonks, please." Remus tried, reaching once again for her hands. She quickly pulled her hands away from his reach.

"No." she said, rubbing her cheeks roughly with both hands. "Just don't." She turned around fully, taking a deep breathe and lifting her head up to force the tears to remain inside her. After a moment she turned back towards him. Her eyes were red and puffy, but had a new look of determination within them. She took several steps closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, staring back at him.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked slightly flustered by the sudden change in her mood.

"Kiss me." Tonks replied seriously and stared back at him.

"No." he said sternly, realizing the awful predicment he tricked himself into. He tried to duck out of her grasp, but she clung tightly to the base of his shirts collar. His eyes moved around the room, not wanting to look at her.

"This isn't…" he started again. "This isn't why I brought you here."

"Yes, I know," Tonks mumbled back, slightly bitter. "You brought me here to make sure you have no regrets. But you wanna know what mine would be?"

Remus breathed in sharply, nervous for her answer.

"If you never kissed me properly." She finished and looked at him with a piercing stare.

He told himself he did it for her, because how could he force her to listen to his if not willing to reciprocate the offer. But nothing felt better for him than when he took both his hands and cupped them around her cheeks before leaning in to kiss her. Nothing was more blissful to him than when he tasted her tears, and mouth, and lips. Nothing.

And when his hands moved into her hair and her arms slowly moved to hold him tighter, he told himself that it had to be a good one, for her, if it was to be the last one. That's why he took his time, slowly cherishing the utopian moment that it had become and pouring all of the love he had bottled up for her into one perfect kiss.

The length of time that passed seemed endless, neither wanting to face the inevitable separation that would come afterwards. But a word flashed in Remus' mind and he was pulled away from the euphoria that was previously bubbling within him. He slowly broke away from her kiss and turned his head, burying it in her hair instead.

"Enough" he breathed heavily and he felt tears rolling off his cheeks into her hair. He gave her one last kiss on the head and ripped himself away from her. As he stepped back he took a glance at her expression and instantly wished he hadn't. She was standing still with an overwhelming somber presence and Remus had to look away or he knew he would move back towards her again.

"Goodbye Remus," Tonks' voice echoed through him and Remus heard the crack of her Apparation as she left.

He never cried harder.


:-( A/N:

Hello everyone and sorry for the very long delay for an update. I have decided that because of lack of interest on both my side and readers side, I will be cutting this fanfic short. I originally planned to complete Tonks and Remus' story all the way through to the end of DH, but I think I will now only go until the end of HBP. I apologize to the few fans who have enjoyed this story and wanted to see a "complete" end to it. But I'm afraid I'm much to busy and eager to finish this one up. If I try and do it all the way to DH your sure to have to read some awful, messy, and rushed writings.

There are about 3-4 chapters left that I have planned, but will probably take some time getting up. Thanks again for all the reviews, they are much appreciated and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a bit dramatic but hopefully not too corny.